Salam Lovelies

Welcome to my blog where I share my everyday muses: food, nature, DIY, poems and more!

[mainlymaryam]

Life is so strange One minute, you’re sitting in your bedroom in Wales Applying for PhDs, trying to figure out your future And then the next, you’re in Jordan for the summer, Not a care in the world Reunited with loved ones Spending your days with family Catching up on the year that’s gone by And then slowly, the days dwindle 2 weeks, a week, 5 days, 3…2…1 And then it’s time, you’re on the way to the airport Wiping away the tears, wondering how 2 months flew by, dreaming about next summer and thinking how Life is so strange #lifeissostrange #muslim #jordan #amman #ilovejordan (at Queen Alia International Airport) https://www.instagram.com/p/Chf4wRvojTu/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[mainlymaryam]

Knock knock Hmm I’m not sure how I feel about this book. If you’ve read it, what did you think? Basically, it’s about a criminal inspector who was called to a murder scene where a family was murdered bar one. A 5-year old girl who was placed into witness protection and then 17 years later, a break-in happens in the same place as the murder. BUT THEN there’s also a former police informant who’s being threatened by the criminal underworld. These two men find themselves caught in a criminal conspiracy. So here’s the thing, the blurb hooked me. In the first few pages hooked me. But then as I kept reading, I found myself skimming paragraphs because the book is just way too long. But I kept reading because I wanted to know if there would be more action or something suspenseful, but the ending was underwhelming. What I did enjoy was the dynamic between the criminal inspector and former police informant. It was nice to see how they joined forces and their relationship. #bookreview #bookwormwednesday #books #bookstagram #booktok #thrillerbooks #suspense #crime #bookrecommendations #bookaddict (at Scandinavia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaVm8XOIkyJ/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mainlymaryam]

close to me without giving too much away, basically the wife wakes up after falling from the stairs and she can’t remember anything from the past year. she has this feeling that she’s afraid of her husband but she can’t remember why. what I enjoyed about this book is that the chapters were split between the past year and the days after the fall. i kept reading because I wanted to know more about the past year. what memories, crucial ones, was she not able to remember? slowly, through the chapters certain memories are retrieved and as the reader you get an insight into the wife’s life. the ending was bittersweet. *I did find that I was skimming some pages just because I wanted to know the outcome. ** if you don’t want to read it, you can watch the show on @channel4 @primevideouk or other channels. I don’t know how similar the show is to the book 🤷🏻‍♀️ #closetome #closetomebook #bookwormwednesday #readwithmary #reviewwithmary #bookstagram #books #bookrecommendations #triggers #memoryloss #coma #bookreview (at United Kingdom) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaDr7Fxo1iF/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mainlymaryam]

tw/death & cancer Not a day goes by where the thought of death doesn’t cross my mind. But before the death, the thought about our last moments on earth. This book by Janie Brown, an oncology nurse & counsellor, includes 20 conversations she’s had with people on the brink of death. Some conversations are with people close to her. She mentions ways of becoming feeling hopeful, accepting death, reflecting on mortality. It’s important to note that all 20 conversations are with people who have cancer. Althoguh they might not share the same cancer diagnosis, they all share common themes related to death: fear, worry, regret but also healing and acceptance. (at Callanish) https://www.instagram.com/p/CZNc-obonS1/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mainlymaryam]

Lingo I love this book and I’m not just saying that because I’m a linguist. This book delves into the various European languages and dialects and explains what the history, origin and grammar of words in a really witty and creative way! The book is divided into various parts which discuss language and their families, their history, their vocabulary, their grammar, language and politics, language (both written and spoken), languages on the brink, linguists and more! At the end of each chapter, there are two symbols which have a fun fact about the specific language addressed. So one symbol mentions a word that English has loaned and the other symbol highlights a nonexistent word in English - but that should exist (lol). For example, in Galician, there are words to distinguish between male and female cousins - curman and curma, which English doesn’t have. Also bosh, a word commonly used by the Brits to mean nonsense, was introduced by British author and derived from the Turkish for empty - bos. Yogurt is a direct loan! Honestly there’s so many more fun and wonderful examples mentioned in the book - you just need to read it to learn and be amazed! (at Europe) https://www.instagram.com/p/CY64YCwoG7v/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mainlymaryam]

If you’re all about the psychological thriller, then this book is for you. Neve is a friend, colleague, wife and mother. She’s made mistakes, like everyone in life, but this one mistake has her caught in a web of lies, deception…and MURDER! How far would you go to protect your family, even if you suspected their guilt? An absolute positive about the author is that Nicci French is a pseudonym, for husband and wife duo writers: Sean French & Nicci Gerrard (at London, United Kingdom) https://www.instagram.com/p/CYpbM5xIBUf/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mainlymaryam]

There is a reasoning soul in this machine Descartes (1596-1650) Dating back to Plato and the ancient Greeks, the mind and body were viewed as separate; Descartes, a 17th-century philosopher, first described the mind-body relationship. He describes the mind (or soul) as sitting in the pineal gland of the brain and does the thinking, while the body is a machine operating with ‘fluids’ that flow through the nervous system and cause movement. He viewed the mind and body as an interaction through the ‘animal spirits’ flowing through the body. The mind sometimes is aware of the ‘moving spirits’ causing a conscious sensation and thus the body can affect the mind. Likewise, the mind can affect the body by increasing the ‘animal spirits’ in a particular part of the body, causing action. Inspired by the hydraulic systems of the Versailles gardens, he described the spirits of the body operating the muscles/nerves like the water, causing motion to all parts. Fountains are controlled by a fountaineer and thus the mind is like the fountaineer as it can control the actions by starting, stopping or even altering them. Some philosophers still argue whether the mind and brain are separate or combined, most psychologists view the mind with the mechanics of the brain. https://www.instagram.com/p/CXrrLpIIBi4/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mainlymaryam]

Sometimes when life is tough, all you need is a ‘little’ proof of heaven. Proof of Heaven by Dr. Eben Alexander retells the author’s own personal story about of how he contracted bacterial Meningitis and was taken into a deep coma. He retells his near death experience (NDE); funnily, he’s a neurosurgeon and before his own experience, thought NDEs were fantasies curated by the brain. I’ve included one of my fave pages from the book because it’s always something we need to be reminded of: you are loved. https://www.instagram.com/p/CXhTslOoaPq/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mainlymaryam]

The language organ grows like any other body organ Chomsky (1928-) Many psychologists, like Skinner or Bandura, understood that language development was a direct result of environmental input and learning through reinforcement and rewards (operant conditioning). For example, Skinner stated that when children copy verbal sounds, they receive reinforcement from their parents which motivates them to continue learning new words. Bandura also noted that children not only imitated words or sounds but also the generic form and structure of sentences. However, Noam Chomsky, a linguist, believed that operant conditioning couldn’t explain the productivity, creativity and innovation aspects of language. It also failed to explain how children were able to use grammatical rules that they neither learned nor hear as we as their ability to understand entire sentences without knowing the exact meaning of each word. For Chomsky, language is innate, grammar is built-in; thus adopting a nativist perspective for language. He does believe that the environment plays a role in the specificity of language growth, for example as Chomsky grew up in Philly, his knowledge is related to that dialect; its the same process for anyone who was raised in Paris, London or even Tokyo. There are certain parts of grammar that are self-evident, like the use of pronouns for some constructions and not for others. Although this difference is subtle, even native English-speaking 6 year olds use the construction without flaw. Thus, certain parts of grammar are understood without any instruction - it’s innate. ‘Universal grammar’ is a set of linguistic features built into ‘language organ’ and includes grammar, meaning and speech; it makes it possible for us to speak and learn languages. This ‘language organ’ is identified as the Language Acquisition Device (LAD) by Chomsky. It exists based on 3 concepts: 1. Children are born with the ability to formulate and understand all types of sentences despite not hearing or learning them. 2. Every language has certain universal parts 3. Some grammatical concepts are acquired by people, regardless of intelligence or culture continued in comments… https://www.instagram.com/p/CXZu95MIM0e/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mainlymaryam]

What if I told you that you’ve got a monkey inside you? No really, it’s call your Hidden Chimp. If you’re a parent or soon-to-be parent, I think this is a really good (audio)book. Prof. Steve Peters helps by providing insight into how to recognise the Chimp inside your child. He provides tips and studies and habits on how to understand your child and help guide their behaviours to adulthood. P.S. I’m not a parent (not even married yet, lol) but I enjoyed listening to the neuroscience aspect of this (audio)book. https://www.instagram.com/makewithmary/p/CXPYXXuIzKT/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mainlymaryam]

Emotion is an essentially unconscious process Frijda (1927-2015) Emotions and feelings seem to be subjective - how you react to a situation or person depends on so many aspects. And maybe that’s why the psychology of emotion has only recently started to change and gain interest. Frijda’s book, the Law of Emtoions, explored the concept and rules of emotions. In his view, emotions lie between biological and cognitive processes. For example, fear is an innate emotion (fight or flight mode) which we also share with animals, whereas humiliation is specifically cognition-based, it results from our thoughts and can be shaped by culture. Furthermore, Fridja differentiates between emotions and feelings. So we can’t control our emotions, they arise suddenly, notifying us of their presence by physical signs like the gut tightening or sweating. Whereas feelings are our own interpretations of the emotions we experience and we’re more conscious to them. So when we have a feeling, we’re able to think and decide about it. Interestingly, emotions and feelings are displayed differently. For example, emotions prepare us for either fight or flight. People can guess our emotions based on our behaviours. While feelings may not always be consistent with behaviour since we can hide some. Fridja also sees that emotions (like anger, shame, joy) can provide greater self-awareness. Since we notice emotions, we become aware of our feelings and we factor this into our decisions which increases our self-awareness. Fridja concludes by saying that “our emotional and reasonable selves aren’t compartmentalised rather they’re connected much more than they seem”. https://www.instagram.com/p/CXHa06gIlH3/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mainlymaryam]

Reason #193748 why I love supporting small businesses: I had bought Aragostine Pistachio from my trip to @frongochgarden but when I’d opened the package, there was like this old smell and the aragostine itself didn’t taste nice. So I DMed and then emailed @difortis about my purchase AND would you believe it? They sent me this package (pictured above). They went above and beyond what I expected and guess what? The Aragostine was delicious 🤤 but if I were to rank what they sent me, it would go like this: 1. Barchette White Chocolate 2. Sicilian Cannoli Hazelnut Chocolate 3. Aragostine Pistachio. But they’re all delicious pastries and they reminded me of my trip to Venice at Christmas in 2017 🥺 (at United Kingdom) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXEqeoAowiZ/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mainlymaryam]

فَسَبِّحْ بِحَمْدِ رَبِّكَ وَاسْتَغْفِرْهُ إِنَّهُ كَانَ تَوَّابًا Then glorify your Lord with praise. And ask His Forgiveness. Surely He is Oft-Forgiving. سورة النصر ١١٠:٣ | An-Nasr 110:3 https://www.instagram.com/p/CXCg3OpoP4O/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mainlymaryam]

What did I tell you?? @sharilapena is still the 👑 of one sit reads!!! I started reading this on my drive to London and then couldn’t leave my hotel room until I finished it 🙈 Not all families are happy, are they? Some have hidden, dark secrets, secrets they keep from even their loved ones. Basically, this book is about an affluent family, parents and 3 adult kids, and shockingly the parents are murdered! Who was the murder? Why did they kill the parents? Was it one of the children or someone else? Shock after shock just kept on coming as I flipped through the pages. I had my eyes set on a specific person but I was wrong. But once again, this reminds me that being wealthy isn’t the be-all and end-all, because sometimes that can get you killed. Money ain’t everything in this life… *i still think couple next door is my fave from all her books, but this is a close second! https://www.instagram.com/p/CW9VC_1oTK2/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mainlymaryam]

In the 1960s, the field of psychiatry was challenged, regarding its essential beliefs, by some experts referred to as ‘anti-psychiatrists’. The ‘anti-psychiatrists’ were formed of psychiatrists, psychologists and welfare workers who suggested that psychiatry is a ‘medical model of mental health’, with no psychical symptoms and the treatments typically ignored the patient’s own behaviours and needs. To test out the validity of psychiatric diagnosis, Rosenhan conducted a field study (in the USA) and concluded that we are unable to differentiate between the sane and insane in psychiatric hospitals. For the first part of the study, Rosenhan recruited eight sane people (himself included) and appointed them as pseudo-patients. *the 8 people were of different ages, occupations and genders. Their task was to try and be admitted into various mental hospitals as patients, by first phoning up hospitals to book appointments. At the admissions office, they were told to complaint about hearing a strange voice in their heads, which was distorted but mentioned words of ‘empty’ and ‘thud’, suggesting feelings of pointlessness. They provided false names and occupations but everything this else about their personal histories were true. Interestingly, all the pseudo-patients were admitted with a diagnosis of schizophrenia, although they never exhibited symptoms of it. They stayed in the hospital for around 19 days and kept a journal about their experiences, secretly first but then openly - they were never questioned about this behavior. Funnily enough, Rosenhan found a comment in their medical notes mentiong the “patient engages in writing behaviour”, suggesting that even ‘normal’ behavior can be viewed as even for a psychiatric condition. The pseudo-patients tecordes that their hospitals experience was filled with depersonalisation and powerlessness. Also, the average daily time spent with medial staff was 7 minutes!!! What’s even more bizarre is that although they went undetected by hospital staff, other patients questioned their sanity, saying “you’re not crazy, you’re just a journalist”. …Continued in comments… https://www.instagram.com/p/CW1dcnFIzt6/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mainlymaryam]

PRAISE BE TO GOD . . . for guidance and patience for kindness and knowledge for peace and healing for family and friends for gains and losses for trials and tribulations for happiness and sadness for health and sickness for life and death for the ups and downs for the good and the bad for the known and unknown Sometimes, I wish that life would float by smoothly, for life to be perfect. But the thing is, what would we achieve? What would we be striving for, if heaven was a place on earth? It’s hard to swallow the troubles of this life, the ‘why does this happen’ or the ‘why me’. It’s hard to understand, to digest, to fully comprehend and be content with God’s decree. And that’s exactly it. It’s God‘a decree. Somethings are best left untouched, unknown and unriddled. And all we can say is… الحمدلله | Alhamdullilah *i pray that you come out stronger - mentally, physically, emotionally - from the path life takes you on. *anything incorrect is of my own accord and anything worthy is from Allah. Forgive me. #faithfulfridays #islamicquotes #islam #islamicreminder #muslim #muslimah #alhamdulillah #الحمدلله (at الطريق إلى الجنة) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWwY6_rI4QI/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mainlymaryam]

Personality Before the late 1960s, personality was always defined as a list of individual behavioural traits that you inherited (genetically). Tests were put into place by psychologists as a way of predicting and understanding an individual’s behavior. For example, Cattell identified 16 personality traits, Eysenck only proposed 3 or 4 and then there were Tupes and Christal who suggested that there are 5 personality traits (the Big Five which I’ve mentioned in a previous post). To everyone’s (psychologists) surprise, in 1968, Mischel claimed that the ‘classic’ personality test was pointless. How did he come to this conclusion? He analyzed a number of studies that had ‘predicted’ behavior using personality tests and found that ONLY 9% were accurate. Focusing on external factors (e.g. context), Mishcel thought it was essential to examine the interaction between a person and the situation they were in. He believed the attributes of the situation a person was in and the manners used to deal with such situation influences one’s behavior. You may know Mischel through his infamous ‘marshmallow experiment’. Wanting to understand habits of thinking, the experiment tested the willpower of 4 year old children. They were provided with 1 marshmallow and were given two options: 1. eat immediately 2. wait 30 minutes and get an extra marshmallow As expected, some children waited and some couldn’t. Mischel contributed to monitor the children’s (from the experiment) progress into adolescence. Surprisingly (or not?), he found that those who ‘resisted temptation’ were more: dependable, psychologically aware, academic, social and confident. Thanks to Mischel, the way personality is studied shifted from ‘how personality predicts behavior’ to ‘how behavior reveals personality’. #socialsciencesunday #psychology #personality #bigfive #mischel #waltermischel #socialsciencessunday #marshmallowexperiment https://www.instagram.com/p/CWjpJ54ISwf/?utm_medium=tumblr