Sarcasm is the Essence of my Life

MERP

[sickfuture]

[unclefather]

Thank you. I will

[salparadisewasright-deactivated]

[heir-to-the-diamond-throne]

Me: *falling asleep to an audiobook on the science of the gut*

Book: saliva is actually filtered blood!

Me: ʕʘ‿ʘʔ

[heir-to-the-diamond-throne]

Me: ʕʘ‿ʘʔ

Book: saliva also contains a painkiller that is stronger than morphine, but we don’t produce a lot of it otherwise we’d be constantly high

Me: ʕʘ Д ʘʔ

[heir-to-the-diamond-throne]

Opiorphin is 6x stronger than morphine and actually contains an anti-depressant compound which is why some doctors believe it’s linked to comfort eating

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/20610867/

[enbyroses]

Everyone spit on me so I won’t be depressed

[airyairyquitecontrary-deactivat]

is this how Steven Universe’s power works

[okaymad]

[clarknokent]

Bruh

[jollylollylily]

Yooooooo…

[dynastylnoire]

Levels

[clamchowdurr-deactivated2022040]

I wanna say Thats violation but that means he was gone send her that unwanted shit too 😂😂😂

[fleetnaturals-deactivated202110]

black mirror season 4

[tiffanyaliyah]

Savage

[badgyal-k-deactivated20190901]

Oh wow

[hobbit-feels]

This is super epic. 

He was obnoxious to begin with, it is true, but if he moves forward in this wooing as a respectful dude, he will text her something nice like it was fun to meet her or maybe ask her on a date.  Mom will text him back and there will be a bit of confusion before he realizes what happened.  He’ll be a bit chagrined and mom will probably feel bad enough for him being rejected to make him cookies or something.

HOWEVER

If he starts in with that fuckboy shit (asking for sex right out the gate, dick picks, asking for nudes, etc.), he will learn the ultimate lesson. 

In short, he is only fucked if he fucks himself.

This is Greek Mythology levels of savage.

[insidiousink]

#In which a man is in command of his destiny #And does not know it

[jjsinterlude]

YOOOOOOOO

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

short girls always wanna fight yall like mini batteries overflowing with energy cause yall bodies too small to contain it if only yall had used it to grow instead

[bottomdiluc]

[krueltepes]

[renxamamiya]

Máni//Sól

[almightychiru]

dude you draw the best samus ever I just have to say how much I appreciate it !!!!

That makes me really happy, thank you!! :D I have some other Samus sketches lying around, so I’ll try to clean some of those up and post ‘em, just for you! Thanks for the lovely comment. :’D

[c-bassmeow]

Idk which one is funnier

[unlimited-shitpost-works-deacti]

I’ll admit that I laughed

[desferal]

the favesTM

[tocadomagall]

[fmabrotherhoodscreencaps]

[allisonmckenzieart]

Day of the Dead Envy!

Commission for Daniel

[carosapien]

collab w @tea–shay !!!!!! she did the sketch and i colored !!

[fennethianell]

FMA EdWin week

Day 3: 85%

Ed returned to Resembool from the west, and finally managed to propose to Winry properly by giving her a ring. With the help of Alphonse, they created the ring by combing the materials: 15% white gold and 85% of the remains of his old automail arm.

[jfcaflyingpenguin]

journey’s end

[stluciasstudentjail]

w/e