Every Romance #12 - 1 Year Later
“How’s Dad?” You ask you mother quickly as she gets to the door.
“Doing well, he asked to see you both today.” Your mom ushers the two of you inside. She admires the way you and Bucky have a subtle communication.
“I’m glad. Sounds like we should have a few good Christmases,” you try to be positive. While he has had a few memory lapses in the prior months, he seems generally well and aware.
“Yes- at least enough for children.” Your mother has been over eager.
“Mom! We aren’t even married. We barely live together.” You scold her, a bit worried Bucky will feel pressured for real this Christmas.
“Well, I’m sure you’d like to be! Tell this young man to get on it!” Your mom only stops when your dad enters, and you feel the way Bucky pauses beside you.
After the greetings, you sense Bucky being more hesitant than usual.
“What did you mean, we barely live together?” Bucky invited you to stay ‘forever’ a couple of months back. But you’d been spending every night together for much longer.
“I- I just meant it’s still new! We aren’t exactly rushing to get married.” You feel a bit surprised by his response. He always discussed with you about wanting the same things. Recently, he even brought up the topic of engagement and you said you would be interested when the time was right.
Was the time now?
“I love you, I don’t feel rushed to do anything. Do you?” Bucky tries to speak quietly so your parents don’t hear the debate.
“Bucky, I didn’t mean anything. I love you, I like living together, and I don’t see myself ever going anywhere. I just didn’t want her on our case. If something happens, I want to know it’s not because my dad is standing with a shotgun at the wedding.” You try very rapidly to explain that you weren’t trying to dismiss the seriousness of your relationship.
He snaps his mouth closed when your parents enter with stockings and gifts for under the tree. But he seems somewhat more affectionate and yet distracted the entire night. Your dad tries to play a particular record just for Bucky, which he declines and asks to do so later.
When he helps your mother bake (with guidance) he seems sad when she tries to be playful. She rubs his arm like he’s her very own son as she tries to comfort him.
You see them stare at the decorations for the cookies before he pours the candles and sprinkles and everything into a bag.
“Later,” your mom says.
“Later,” he agrees quietly.
Have you missed something? Bucky rarely behaves like such a kicked puppy. Your parents came to the city to see a specialist for your dad recently, and he had even taken them to dinner when they got in. After their visit, he had seemed boldly affectionate and bright.
“You feelin’ okay? Are you upset because my dad talked to you about the war again?” You worry someone pressed a button for him.
“I am wonderful, little lady. Your family could not be kinder. Would you like to show me another Christmas film?” Bucky kisses your crown and hands you a sugar cookie.
“Uh, okay.” You know he wanted to see the Grinch this year. Your parents also have a movie or two to show him.
Bucky tucks you in beside him in the love seat. It’s a habit from only having a small couch in your apartment. He often has you sit with your legs in his lap under the blankets, distracting you with showers of kisses whenever he likes. He opts to hold your hand under the blanket, instead, with an audience.
You notice how he traces your hand, palm, and fingers. He twists the rings on your index fingers. And swirls his fingertips under your bracelets. All you know, is he is not interested in The Holiday.
When you have dinner, your dad asks repeatedly what is new. It’s concerning, due to his memory troubles, and you get entirely swept up in whether he’s very aware. Bucky tries to calm you, but you remain hyper aware of your father’s behaviours and little sticky notes.
“Dessert, dear,” your father requests.
Your mom pauses, smiling at him softly
“I must have forgot to get some. That’s alright, we can have it tomorrow.” She starts to clear dishes and Bucky stands to assist.
“I saw a cake, it’s in the fridge.” Your dad seems confused and you worry for him.
“Let me go get him something, Mom. Bucky and I can step out to the store. Do you need anything else? Maybe things for the party tomorrow?”
“Oh, we have party decorations. They’re in the bedroom, right, Dear? Big celebration.” Your dad is stopped by your mother who retrieved a small list.
“Get him something chocolate, and perhaps some iced cream. There will be plenty enough of everything else.” She kisses both your cheeks and sends you out.
“I’m worried about my dad,” you break the awkward silence.
“I think he’s having an off day. Sounds like he has been doing well.” Bucky drives and quickly kisses your hand.
“How can you say that? He has been making no sense.” Is he just pretending so he doesn’t have to worry about it? That hurts you and makes you question whether he will be there when you need him.
“Let’s get him a dessert, and help your mom out for her party. If he’s still unusual by morning, we will try to talk about it with your mom, alright?” He does seem to care, but you feel put out.
Bucky loves to run errands with you. It helps him feel a little more comfortable when things are new or different. Errors with bank cards, self-checkouts, or how certain stores need memberships.
He also likes to keep you close, flirt in public, and make sure anything you want is purchased.
“We can stay up late? Maybe do some things just the two of us? I’m sorry I’ve made you come here, twice.” You start feeling that maybe you’ve asked for too much. Maybe Bucky wasn’t comfortable being back here.
“No, this is perfect. I did want to come back. Stop worrying over me, I just want your Christmas to be amazing and I got thrown off. But I want to get some rest tonight and start fresh with a walk with your parents tomorrow.”
You nod, holding his hand again and trying to shake the strange feeling.
Your sleep is as good as ever, but you know Bucky isn’t resting well.
“Good morning,” he rumbles into your ear when you wake before him.
“Good morning, Handsome. Are you sure everything is alright?” You rub his temples and kiss him while his eyes are closed.
“Ah, it’s fine. I’m just a little anxious. Maybe a walk would do us some good.” He pulls you close and you half wonder about going back to sleep for a while.
Bucky reacts strangely when you tell someone your parents know that he’s your boyfriend. It makes you feel suddenly unnerved.
Is Bucky having second thoughts? He sends your mother and you out to have manicures and relax. He wants to help your dad with a few things.
“Has Bucky seemed strange to you?”
“Not at all,” your mother dismisses.
“Really? I… I feel like he doesn’t want to spend as much time together. He was super weird when I introduced him as my boyfriend. Maybe… maybe being back made him realize it was just a cute little romance but he doesn’t feel the same.”
Your lip wobbles as your nails are drying.
“Oh, honey. I can promise that is not the case. He is at home taking care of things for your father as we speak. He wanted us to go out and relax together. And everyone can see the way he looks at you.” She looks to you fondly and you try to ease your worry.
The party is pleasant, everyone is pouring affection toward you and Bucky. He seems more himself, openly flirting and touching. New nicknames every chance.
Again, everyone leaves fairly early. It’s around 11pm and he is watching a movie with you across his lap.
“I love you,” he says in a hushed voice.
You hum, somewhat sleepy after so much food and socialization. Now, your nerves are exhausted, and you’re ready for bed.
“How long?” He nuzzles his nose into your hair and gently rouses you.
“What?” You have your eyes closed, cuddled up into him and trying to stay in the warm and cozy headspace.
“How long do you want to be loved?” He asked this once before, and you remember what you said then.
“Forever.”
“Dove? Kitten? Beautiful girl?” He wakes you just a hair more, and you feel him play with your fingers again under the soft blanket.
You pry your sleepy eyes open and see Bucky staring at you. His eyes are full of love.
“Is forever with me enough?”
Bucky slips a ring around your finger, beneath the warm blanket he draped over you.
Your fingers twist the ring around, unbelieving it’s really there. His words come together in your brain and you feel you must have misunderstood.
“Bucky, what are you asking?” Your heart races and you can feel Bucky’s do the same. He pulls you into a long, deep kiss where his tongue explores your mouth and you gift him his favourite sounds.
“Will you marry me?”
After how everything has gone, you are surprised by this event. Sure, you had spoken about it. It had always been on the table for both of you, and Bucky never failed to make it clear that he wanted a wife and kids some day. He’s really asking.
“Oh, my god, yes!” You kiss him with abandon and feel a bubble of emotion overflow from you.
You’re relieved, thrilled, and you feel like the rest of your life will be better than you ever dreamed. Bucky never fails to shake your world with pure adoration and love. He makes you feel brilliant and beautiful and unstoppable.
Bucky smiles like the Cheshire Cat as he holds your face and kisses you again.
You check out the ring, something exactly your taste and gorgeous. Before you can say more, your mother rushes downstairs.
“She said yes!?” Your mother rushes you.
“Is this why we got our nails done?” You look at your gorgeous Christmas acrylics and the sparkle of the ring.
“Yes! Wait- we have dessert!” Your mom races to the downstairs fridge and retrieves a cake with Congratulations on it, with your names.
“Dad! You really did see a cake!” Everything falls together in your mind. Your father brings down balloons with a congratulations sign as well, and you are giddy.
“Bucky, I love you so much.”
“I tried so many times to do this, but it never felt right. I asked your folks to have everything ready because I was going to ask before we got here. Love, you are it for me. I love every minute with you. I can’t wait to have my life with you.”
A life with him. Everything with one person who fits into your life like a globe and wants everything you do.
“I can’t believe you. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.” You kiss him and can’t wait to tell everyone at the tower.
“How are you gonna top this next Christmas?” Your mom teases.
“I’m sure we will find a way,” he smiles and holds you like the most cherished person alive.
