Just looking for some support.

24. Married. Accidentally pregnant.

[making-a-choice]

Alright here goes nothing... the pain and nausea pills have had their time to kick in, so I guess this is it. So nervous...

[making-a-choice]

general-anxiety reblogged your post:Today I found out I'm pregnant.

You can message me as well. you are not alone.

provoice reblogged your post:Today I found out I'm pregnant.

Please feel free to drop me a message anytime. I’m always available to listen

Thank you both so much!

[making-a-choice]

Hey! I wanted to add onto what I said- many MANY married couples find themselves pregnant at a "socially acceptable" time that they feel isn't right for them for a number of reasons. These kinds of stories are often not heard about because of the idea that married people have babies. Married people, and married people with kids have abortions every day, its very common, and makes a lot of sense. You should have children when its 100% right for you both no matter what!

Thank you thank you thank you!

[provoicesupportblog-blog]

I'm going in to have an abortion later today. I'm not sure what to expect. I found out I was pregnant a week ago and after a day of freaking out, life kind of went on as normal for me. Now it's today and I'm not sure what I'm feeling. I didn't sleep well last night. I kept having dreams that they were going to have to keep postponing it. The choice to get an abortion was an easy one- we're simply not ready. But I just feel like I should be feeling more upset than I do. I just want it over with.

I understand why you might be feeling confused about not being more upset. A lot of times abortion is framed as a difficult choice, painful, and life changing- and for many people it is. But that is their experience, their life, their pregnancy, and their abortion.You are very level headed about what is right for you and your life, your only concerns are not having it be over with soon enough, hence the nightmares. It seems to me like you are a confident person who knows themselves very well and that is worthy or praise and celebration, not upset and confusion. Own how you feel, that’s all we can ever really do. I hope today went swimmingly and you continue to know it was the 100% best choice for you. <3 -Kate

[making-a-choice]

Aw thank you so much, Kate! I really appreciate your kind words. I went in to the local planned parenthood with my husband and there were some protesters outside... we were able to just laugh at how ridiculous they were being. I mean, who stands outside in the rain on a Tuesday morning to try and shame other people? The clinic was surprisingly nice; the area we live in isn't the best so I was worried about that as well.

They did the ultrasound and they weren't sure I was far enough along yet and told me I may have to come back in two weeks to try again. I panicked, but they got another nurse to come in and she could see what she needed to see, so we moved forward. We had to wait a long time because they only have the doctor come down to do this on Tuesdays and Saturdays. When we went to make the final payment, the lady asked if we wanted to donate anything to keep the prices low for others and to support the organization. To my surprise, my husband donated 40 dollars! He's a nurse and this is an issue that's important to us, but I wasn't expecting him to donate that much but I was really happy he did.

The waiting room was a busy place... some girls were alone, some had their partners or friends with them... some were crying, some were like me and just treated this as any other doctor's appointment. I felt a connection with them, if that's not weird. We're all going to be experiencing this thing 'together' over the next few days in a way.

We waited about another hour before I got the first pill and met the doctor. He wasn't the happiest guy we'd seen all day and was pretty monotone about the whole thing. I explained how it all happened and he said it was really too bad that my doctor's office kind of dropped the ball and he was concerned that maybe the pill isn't right for me anymore.

I didn't sleep well again last night... I'm taking the second pills tonight after I get off work and I'm terrified something is going to go wrong or that I'll feel miserable for days. The doctor told me that I could bleed for weeks to a month or more! My husband doesn't think it'll be that bad, but we'll see... I'm just so ready to move on with my life as normal. We leave for a cruise in a month from tomorrow and it's going to be much needed, that's for sure!

[making-a-choice]

Today I found out I'm pregnant.

And I'm freaking out.

I'm 24, married, have a cute puppy, a nice apartment and nice cars. My husband makes good money. So naturally, people would assume we're keeping it and everything will be dandy. 

We're not. I have other shit that I need to do first. I need to finish my degree. I need to have a career at least for a few years. We need to save up more money. We like going on trips. We don't want to have kids until I'm at least 30, if at all. Neither of us have ever felt the urge to be parents. We see kids out in public all the time who act as wonderful birth control. We know people struggling to make ends meet because they had kids before they were ready. 

I've never had a pregnancy scare in my life. In July, I did an egg donation cycle for a family in need. I learned a lot about fertility and things. Last month, I ran out of birth control and called to get a refill like normal. However, the refill had been cancelled/run out and I needed to go in and see my doctor. The first appointment was two weeks out. I had the last day of my period that Monday and we had sex on Saturday, husband (who is a nurse), assured me that even though he finished a little in me, it would be too soon for me to get pregnant. I got back on my pills the following Friday. We had sex again (drunk and not thinking), but based on some lousy internet math, decided that this time was more risky than the last so I took plan b not even 12 hours later. Nothing happened. 

It was getting to be about that time so I went to Target and got my first ever box of pregnancy tests. Sure enough, two lines showed up within a minute, indicating I'm pregnant. I stood there for a few minutes just staring at it. I went to go tell husband, who was sleeping. He held me and let me cry for a few minutes. I called my best friend. She was surprised and didn't know what to say. She thinks we should keep it. I went and got another test and went and did a walk in one at the doctor. I didn't hear anything about that one, but my second one also came up pregnant. 

Husband and I had talked about what if this day comes for months. We're not ready, we don't want it, end of discussion. We can't give it the life we'd like to be able to right now. We called planned parenthood. The lady on the other end was very monotone and scripted. I have an appointment to get a pill in two weeks. So now, I just get to sit and deal with this for two weeks. I went home and took a nap and had horrible dreams.

I told another friend; she was ecstatic and didn't even ask whether or not we were keeping it... I didn't have the heart to tell her. One said she thinks we should keep it because we're married and I can still have a life and a career. Another said he was supportive either way. And my friend who now has a kid but has had two previous abortions told me I'm doing the right thing for myself and my family. 

This is just a lonely place to be, especially because I live in the bible belt. I feel like I'll be judged for doing what's best for me. I'm just looking for more people to share in this experience with. Who wants to be friends?