I think the reason why I flipped my shit so much when Troye Sivanās In A Dream EP came out this summer is because, in my opinion, the EP is about a break up, but in any aspect of life. it could be about separating from a friend, or divorcing an era of your life, or whatever, but he chose to represent it through a romantic relationship. and it encapsulates those feeling SO EXACTLY
Like this summer, when quarantine was preventing me from getting out of the house, and it was like I didnāt even recognise my parents and sister I was stuck with anymore, listening to Easy made me cry cause I couldnāt look them in the eye, cause I wanted to cry but was physically unable to, cause I felt like a stranger at home, cause I prayed to whoever that weād make it through
And then at night, when all ofĀ ācould cry just thinking about youā was stuck in a loop in my head, I DID cry myself to sleep cause I had lost a friend that I thought would be with me forever, cause I thought only the end of a love story could hurt that much, cause in everything I did I saw the place where she wasnāt anymore cause she had just abandonned me
And then online university started and in the beggining it was like a new thing so I was cautiously hopeful and 10/10 told exactly how I was willing to accept that my friendship with this girl was going to be fully one sided on my part because I wanted to be there for her, I was willing to work it out
But she wasnāt and IN A DREAM feels so fucking good to listen to cause Iām angry at the whole situation, angry at her for skipping for absolutely no reason after telling me she thought we were gonna be friends forever and finally I gave up on that friendship but I still really donāt know if that was the right decision cause she still shows up in my dreams
And I cannot wait for things to change in my life and in my head so that sometimes soon I can be in a car, going somewhere else and listening to Take Yourself Home and softly crying cause itās sad but sometimes you need to just leave things behind to go forward
And then maybe, one day, I can be in an appartment, somewhere, listening to Rager Teenager and relating to that for a change. And just living.
Notice how I havenāt mentionned STUD but thatās just cause Iām ace it still a fucking banger
