Sesshomaru is not sexually attracted to children, and perhaps especially not to Rin. He connects with her emotionally because she is the only person who has never been afraid of him. Humans, demons, etc, it’s pretty much universally acknowledge that Sesshomaru is a scary bastard. Having something like that drummed into you from a very young age because, partly, of who your father is can be very damaging.
And it continued for years. Sesshomaru knew that he would be feared, regardless of what he did, so he purposefully became something people should fear. Because, honestly, it’s better to be able to control what people think of him than it is to try to get everyone to like him and have them end up being afraid of him anyway.
What does this have to do with Rin? Well, when Rin first approached Sesshomaru, he was wounded, he was vulnerable, and he was undeniably lonely. I don’t care who you are, spending 200+ years pretty much alone, with a sycophant who is clearly terrified of you most of the time will leave anyone feeling lonely. He had no friends, no one to talk to. It’s honestly no wonder he doesn’t talk much when we see him; he’s spent so very long being silent that it is the norm for him. He speaks mostly in monotone, in short, clipped sentences because he’s simply not used to speaking much.
He’s also not really used to positive emotions, feeling them, expressing them, or being on the receiving end of them. For most of his life, he thought his father preferred his younger brother over him, a younger brother who the society in which he has grown up says should be looked down upon. By all rights, according to what Sesshomaru was taught from a young age, Inuyasha should be the “less than” and he should be the favorite son.
Instead, his father gave the legendary sword, the sword that everyone knew about to the younger child. He essentially gave Inuyasha what Sesshomaru viewed as his brighright. Since the Inu No Taishou essentially commissioned the sword to be able to protect Izayoi and to be able to help seal his half-demon son’s demon blood, it’s more Inuyasha’s birthright than Sesshomaru’s.
But Sesshomaru didn't see that. He didn’t see that his father was trying to be a good father and protecting his weaker son, he sees the Inu No Taishou giving favor to the weaker son. Sesshomaru’s the full demon; shouldn't he get his father’s attention too?
It doesn’t help that, later on, Sesshomaru finds out that one of the biggest reasons he was given Tenseiga was so that he could master the Meidou Zangetsuha technique to give to Inuyasha. Something else that should have been his, and he’s expected to give it to his younger brother. At that point, his character had grown considerably, but it must still have been terrible feeling, knowing that your own father intended to use you to further your sibling’s well-being.
Which is why Sesshomaru’s relationship with Rin is so important. There’s NOTHING sexual about it. They connect emotionally, in ways that Sesshomaru has never connected with anyone. Because he was never expected to really have emotions. It was expected that he would be this amazing creature that everyone should be afraid of, and so, he lived up to that expectation. Why should he do anything else, if that’s all his father thought he was good for?
He was also never, in ANY sense of the words, “child grooming.” Let’s look at some definitions of child grooming.
“Child grooming refers to an act of deliberately establishing an emotional connection with a child to prepare the child for child abuse. Child grooming is undertaken usually to carry out sexual abuse and other child exploitation like trafficking of children, child prostitution or the production of child pornography.” taken from definitions.uslegal.com.
If there’s one thing Sesshomaru ISN’T, it’s deliberately emotional. A lot of what he does leads people to think that he has no emotions. So why would he see this human child and go “Yes, I think I shall deliberately establish an emotional connection with this youngling of creatures that I HATE so that she will willingly have sex with me.”?
Yes, he has an emotional connection to Rin. Was it deliberate? NOT AT ALL. Is he thinking about her sexually? NO. SHE’S EIGHT. Yes, he loves her more than he has ever loved anyone. Does that mean he’s in love with an eight year old? No, it does not. It means that he cares about Rin, that he wants to protect her, that he realizes how precious she is. Does that mean he loves her like she’s his daughter? NO, it does not. It means that he values her companionship, he values her, and he doesn’t expect ANYTHING from her.
Just like Rin doesn’t expect anything from Sesshomaru. She knows that he lets her follow him, that he doesn’t have to, and that he CARES about her. She doesn’t expect ANY of that from him. What she expects is for Sesshomaru to do what Sesshomaru wants to do. And he expects the same thing of her. The only times he COMMANDS her are for her safety! So that she doesn’t get hurt or KILLED, again.
Now, Oprah.com has something called “The Six Stages of Child Grooming.” I’m going to look at each stage, quote them here, and offer an explanation as to why Sesshomaru was NEVER child grooming.
Oprah.com states that "it’s best to think of the grooming by sex offenders as a gradual, calculated process.“ Which would mean that one would have to view the child as a sexual object in the first place, and DECIDE that one is going to do whatever it takes to get the child to want one sexually. And most children don't want or desire anything sexually until they’re a bit older than eight, because they don’t really KNOW anything.
“Stage 1: Targeting the victim.”
Now that RIGHT THERE is enough for me to springboard my explanation from; I don’t even NEED the rest of the expounding upon the stage. Targeting the victim. TARGETING the victim. If there’s one thing Sesshomaru didn’t do, it was target Rin.
He was injured, she came to help him, he got better, he was leaving when he smelled her blood. He remembered her smile and he FELT EMPATHY. That’s it. He used Tenseiga on her because he felt sorry for her. That’s not exactly going “oh, yes, this child has died. I am going to use my dad’s magical healing sword to bring her back to life so I can prey on her.” NOPE, sorry, not happening. He used Tenseiga because it was the first time he’d been able to do so, because he felt pity for a young, human child. Nothing more.
“Stage 2: Gaining the victim’s trust
The sex offender gains trust by watching and gathering information about the child, getting to know his needs and how to fill them. In this regard, sex offenders mix effortlessly with responsible caretakers because they generate warm and calibrated attention. Only more awkward and overly personal attention, or a gooey intrusiveness, provokes the suspicion of parents. Otherwise, a more suave sex offender is better disciplined for how to push and poke, without revealing themselves. Think of the grooming sex offender on the prowl as akin to a spy—and just as stealthy.”
Okay, no. Just no. Yes, Sesshomaru had to figure out Rin’s needs and how to fill them, BUT THEY WERE THE BASIC NEEDS OF HUMANS. While he knows about the differences between humans and demons, experiencing them is a whole different kettle of fish. He had to get used to stopping or going slowly so that Rin could gather food, they had to stop and camp for the night, etc. But in NO WAY did he ever approach Rin with “awkward and overly personal attention or a gooey intrusiveness.” Sesshomaru is NOT “gooey.” Ever. It is not in his nature. Nor does he ask ANYTHING of Rin. He takes care of her and he protects her. End of story.
Stage 3: Filling a need
Once the sex offender begins to fill the child’s needs, that adult may assume noticeably more importance in the child’s life and may become idealized. Gifts, extra attention, affection may distinguish one adult in particular and should raise concern and greater vigilance to be accountable for that adult.
This one is just silly. In the situation with Sesshomaru and Rin, he IS her caretaker. He is the one who makes sure she’s fed, who makes sure she’s clothed, but never is it inappropriate. And while she does idealize him, she also knows that he’s not perfect. But she’s always been able to see beneath what he shows to everyone else, because she cares about him. Honestly, Jaken does the same, though he occasionally does it begrudgingly or whilst complaining.
Stage 4: Isolating the child
The grooming sex offender uses the developing special relationship with the child to create situations in which they are alone together. This isolation further reinforces a special connection. Babysitting, tutoring, coaching and special trips all enable this isolation.
Whenever Sesshomaru is around Rin, someone else is almost always there. Whether it’s Jaken, someone in Inuyasha’s group (later), Kohaku, or (at the end of the series) Kaede, someone is almost always there. And if not, they show up very shortly. When Sesshomaru and Rin ARE alone, there is NOTHING inappropriate going on. If he’s in the same vicinity with her when she’s bathing, he’s far enough off to offer her privacy, only there at all to ensure that she’s protected.
Stage 5: Sexualizing the relationship
At a stage of sufficient emotional dependence and trust, the offender progressively sexualizes the relationship. Desensitization occurs through talking, pictures, even creating situations (like going swimming) in which both offender and victim are naked. At that point, the adult exploits a child’s natural curiosity, using feelings of stimulation to advance the sexuality of the relationship.
Now, anyone reading the manga or watching the anime knows that Sesshomaru does not touch people. If he does, it’s to injure them, generally. He only EVER touches Rin’s cheek or the top of her head. Occasionally, he cradles her to him, WHEN SHE WAS DEAD OR INJURED. That’s it. AND, though it was acceptable in feudal Japan for adult and child to bathe together (see Kagome and Sango with Shippo and happened FREQUENTLY), that never happened with Sesshomaru and Rin.
Stage 6: Maintaining control
Once the sex abuse is occurring, offenders commonly use secrecy and blame to maintain the child’s continued participation and silence—particularly because the sexual activity may cause the child to withdraw from the relationship.
In order to do something like the above statement, one has to be cunning and manipulative. And in order to truly be emotionally manipulative, one has to UNDERSTAND emotions. And I don’t think Sesshomaru does; at least, not fully. He has emotions, but he doesn’t really know what to do with them. His mother was never overly emotional and his father was away a lot of the time. And after a while, his father took up with a human woman. After which point, Sesshomaru’s half-brother took up their father’s attention.
Sesshomaru isn’t the best with understanding or reacting to emotions. He does NOT have enough experience with emotions to try to manipulate people in such ways. Emotionally, in a lot of ways, Sesshomaru is rather child-like, himself, in that he hasn’t developed as much as he should have, in the span of time he’s been alive.
But Rin helps to break that ice, to show him that there’s more to life than anger and power and silence. They are yin and yang, two sides of the same coin, and their relationship is IMPORTANT.
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