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wallacepolsom
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
RMH
Claire Keane
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oozey mess
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Three Goblin Art
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Cosimo Galluzzi

Andulka
tumblr dot com
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Stranger Things

Janaina Medeiros
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Discoholic 🪩
almost home

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@maledominanceoveru
DEHUMANIZATION
Dumb little animals
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
oh my god these are great
fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes
I hear I lot from my sister… She translates Steno (as a job) and it’s so funny from Court…
😈🖤👸
849 votes and 18 comments so far on Reddit
When you're such a slut your knees suffer from separation anxiety...
I’ve masturbated into my 23 year old step-daughter’s body lotion bottle. Every day that little slut wears a little of my cum.
anonymous (via psadna)
What do my followers think about this?
Patriarchy: Lesson 1
Why are dogs man's best friend? Because we like doing the same thing- chase pussy and fuck bitches
This is Jeannie. She's the girl-next-door type. Well kinda. She's the girl-next-door type that loves to be used, degraded, face sprayed with cum, brainless, fuck toy type. The best type.
A story for you
For my female followers:
We’re at a restaurant- a nice place. Candle on the table. Italian. No special occasion, just a night out after a long week. We’ve only had our meal a few minutes when you feel a woman brush your shoulder as she walks by you, and as she passes you, moving towards me, she extends her finger and runs it along the table top from your corner of the table toward mine. You look up at her, and see that her gaze is on me. My eyes look up to meet her gaze, but my head doesn’t move. She is slightly taller than you. Thin, but she has her curves. Probably works out. Her white dress looks like it might have been painted on, the way every inch of it hugs her, barely covering her ass. Her finger slides from the table and draws up my arm to my shoulder and she walks on by. My eyes return to my meal, as I have just a hint of a smile on my face. You’re a bit jealous at the intrusion into our meal, but you remain composed. You wait for what seems a long time until my gaze looks up and finally meets yours. "I suppose you liked that?“ you quip. "Do you want her?” I look down at my next bite and say, “Mmm. Maybe.”, putting the bite into my mouth. Nothing more is said about it. We finish our meal, and head for the car. You are feeling a little possessive, something I can tell by your demeanor, and the way your arms are wrapped around my arm as we walk. As I hold the car door for you, I say, “Don’t worry baby, I’ve got something special in mind when we get home.” You grin all the way home, because you know that when I use the word ‘special’, it really is that. You say almost nothing all the way home, squirming in the leather seat, wondering what I have in mind.We get home, and as I take off my watch, and I say, “Put on the stockings and corset. The black one tonight. Have it on when I come back in a few minutes.” When I come back to the room, I set down my glass of Scotch, and have a look at you. I have a small look of annoyance when I see you’re not ready. You start to point out it’s not a quick outfit you slip on, but you know better than to argue with me. As you finish, I pull 'the bag’ out. 'The bag’ is a black leather duffle that contains an assortment of lengths of rope, some toys, a crop, flogger, and a leather paddle, along with other play items. I pull a length of soft red rope from the bag and walk toward your now anxious body. Though I’ve done it dozens of times, you’re amazed at how quickly and proficiently I tie a shibari wrist cuff to your outstretched arms. I then tie the other end to the top of the tall poster bed post, with your back to the post. I put my face to yours, and give you a long, slow, passionate kiss that makes you rub your thighs together as you feel your wetness increase. I pull my face only slightly away, our noses almost touching, and I say, “Come on in.” Your face instantly flush as your brain races with questions as to this unexpected turn. You hear the door open, and can’t help but turn away from me to see who is walking into our room. "HER?!“ your mind screams! The woman from the restaurant. How? You realize she must have followed us and I had let her in the house while she was dressing. Before you can speak, she is to me, and we each put an arm around each other and kiss, passionately, but not as passionately as ours was just a few short moments ago. "Go on, Megan”, I say to her. Megan looks at you, and coyly smiles as she sees the disbelief still on your face. She drops to her knees, not at me, but in front of you! She nibbles at your panties, as her fingers play with your garter straps. You see that I’m now over at the leather chair in the corner, legs crossed with the Scotch in my hand. She pulls the crotch of your panties aside, and you can’t help but instinctively spread your legs to give her access to you. "Oh god", you think as your head goes back. Megan has definitely done this before, as she quickly brings you to the edge. You lift one leg up over her shoulder, arms still tied to the post above you, as she licks, sucks and plays with your labia and clit. Your whole body quivers as you reach intense orgasm. The woman stands, and you hang your head and close your eyes as you recover from one of the most intense orgasms you’ve ever had. Your eyes open as you feel me begin to untie the restraints. "Time for you to lie on the bed, baby. Head towards me.“ You comply and I motion the woman to climb on you, 69 style. I lean over and whisper in your ear, "I want you to watch me fuck her.” Head still spinning, unable to think of anything intelligible to say, you can only nod. Quickly I climb on the bed behind her, with our crotches over your face. You hear her moan as you see me slowly enter her. As I begin a slow methodical thrusting, you again feel her lips kiss you between your thighs. Torn between closing your eyes and enjoying her tongue flicking in, out, up and down driving you crazy, or watching my cock sliding in and out of her vagina inches in front of your face, you decide that you can’t decide. Your mind is spinning with pleasure, interest, and wonderment at the whole scene around you. Your senses are overloaded, and you can’t concentrate on any one thing. That is, until you sense the change in motion above you. My thrusts are getting slower and stronger, and you sense that I’m about to come. But before you can say or do anything, you see me stop and know I’m shooting inside of her. I pull out and spread her legs at the ass cheeks, and at the same time, you see her reaching her fingers to her crotch, spreading her labia wide open for you. Before you can prepare yourself for what is now inevitable, my cum begins to ooze from her open pussy, and onto your face. The hotness of the mixture of semen and her juices on your face hits you followed seconds later by the aroma of the mix hitting your nostrils. You enjoy the feeling for a few moments, and just before you can reach your tongue out to grab some of my seed from your lips, you feel her crotch come down on your face. Megan begins rubbing her pussy on your semen covered face, at first a little roughly, but then gentler and gentler. In a way you’ve never imagined, much less experienced before, you enjoy the feeling, and you reach up around her legs, pulling her back to your mouth. You return the favor of licking her pussy, through the wonderful sticky mess of my cum. Soon, she tenses, and buries her face in your crotch again, but this time as a reaction to her orgasm beginning. As her quivering subsides, she dismounts you, and turns to you. Quickly she closes the gap between the two of you, and soon, you two are seemingly in a competition to see who can get the most cum off of your face and into your lips. When you two are done, you both notice I’m back in the chair, finishing my Scotch. The two of you blush a bit, and sit at the edge of the bed, as though waiting for me to say something. "Well, ladies. I’m guessing you enjoyed that as much as I?“ You both meekly nod, exchanging a glance at each other. I say, "Well, maybe again sometime.” You lean over to her, whispering into her ear. You both giggle a little bit like schoolgirls, and you say, “Can she spend the night?” as Megan nods inquisitively. I roll my eyes and say, I’m going to need to actually sleep, ladies. We sleep in the next morning, and enjoyed another round of ménage à trois before breakfast…but that’s another story.
Hope you liked it. If you’d be interested in me writing other stories like this for YOU, message me and maybe we can work something out in ‘trade’?
Reblog if you live in Minnesota,
I’m pretty sure there is only like 5 people in Minnesota that have a tumblr .-.
It's ok. Indiana only has 6.
Dressing or acting like a slut doesn't make you one. It just makes you a worthless wannabe. I've met more than one wannabe looking slut that was actually afraid of sex. Fucking stupid.
Though she's been fed, she still hungers for more.