Maliwan

~ Technologically advanced weapons for the more... discerning warrior. ~

[sufroyo]

katagawa jumpscare.....katagawah!!!! 🫨

[maliwan-official]

[[why the custom theme and the archive disappeared?]]

[maliwan-official]

sword?

Sword?

Like- elemental infused sword?

I already asked R&D for this because I love swords, but I'll forward this to see if we can get cool swords, too.

[maliwan-official]

Just wanted to say to some of the guys in IT and weapons development who are doing that new Tattoo trend on Malitok,

Heyyy~

( BOOM SHAKALAKA YES GODDD)

YOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

ISN'T TAHT TRND COOL? I WAN-

[the message feed has been edited]

Sorry for this uh- abrupt interruption, but Jimmy - the intern that sometimes replies to the asks on here - is going through a Malitok addiction and I'm trying to keep him off there before he gets too much into these trends.

Especially because that tattoo trend is like the third one this month, and luckily as for now it's the only one that got a lot of traction on Malitok...

[sofiescarchy]

✧ When the soldiers can't cut it, the general steps in ✧

[officialhyperion]

Man-made monsters beyond your pay grade!

[maliwan-official]

Now with Elemental Agumentation!

[officialhyperion]

If: you're worried your boss is going to echo you in your free time, you: have too much free time!

[maliwan-official]

So true, bestie

[maliwan-official]

Hey guys... I have a confession to make:

I ate the company cake...not Bethany.

I know I said it was her due to her fast Metabolism, but it was me. I ate the entire thing before the annual Christmas party because I was full-on binging and needed something to satisfy my hunger. I'm sorry, I was just sick on the same bland food-seriously, how in the world do you keep so many apples?!

...not my point though.

The point is that I was just so hungry that when I saw that the data analysis had brought in the cake for the party, I just couldn't help myself.

Also, to the girl that asked If I was pregnant and I said yes, I wasn't. That was the cake...the cake was my fake child

Ah.

Hm.

That would have been nice to know so poor Bethany wouldn't have had her pay docked I heard she's now on cleaning duty for the R&D dangerous waste for the next... couple of cycles years. I think.

Apples are good and tastey. Also those were Maliwan™️ genetically engineered lab-gorwn fruits made to taste exaclty like the ancient apple plant.

Tbf I'd have asked the same thing. Anyway congrats for having been able to vore the whole thing 👍

Too bad I have to forward your message confession to HR for a Disciplinary Action or whatever they'll decide up there.

Good luck~🌟

-- Jimmy

[officialhyperion]

Did you know?! 😳

97.5% percent of people claiming to be "burnt out" are actually still very flammable! 😉

[maliwan-official]

Did you know?! 😳

If they are not flammable enough, they will become 100% flammable thanks to Maliwan's improved elemental technology!

Get a discount for the first Incendiary weapon now! 🔥

Use the code THISWILLBURNYOUOUTGOOD at checkout for 5% off! 🔥🔥

[officialhyperion]

Did you know that Atlas employees are served decaffeinated sandwiches? That's the real corporate crime!

I would rather: Not eat all! 😄

[maliwan-official]

And also decaffeinated water!!! Unbelievable!!

[officialhyperion]

People like to complain about: Rainbow Capitalism. 😃

But have you ever noticed how there is no Rainbow Communism? 🤔

We are: Just saying! 🌈

[maliwan-official]

Rainbow Communism 🌈 was trademarked by Vladof, but it sucked just like their weapons and was forgotten!

[maliwan-official]

Hey, do you guys know any way to get invited to the Maliwan office parties? Like, the one's on yachts? I'm really looking to show the crowd my killer music taste and talk with wealthy hotties-I mean men. Business men for business.

I wish I knewwww!!!! Liek- i heard cool stuff abt thos parties but i'm just a lowly intern and i can only hear rumours abt them an nothing else :((((((

- Jim

Usually, there are some rings to jump before being able to do that. The organizer is the one who hires/invites people for the party, and many people go through a bunch of screenings to even get to the list for being selected. Then I guess it becomes only a matter of seeing if the young master oh god i'm cringing calling him like that randomly picks you from the list.

I have no clue about who is the current "party planner", otherwise I'd have told you to echo-mail them and wished you luck.

- Hifumi

[seasonschange32]

Dang it! Now How am I supposed to bust down to pure/honey while trying to rizz up some wealthy boys??

[maliwan-official]

HOLD ON I HAEV AN IDEA lemme just uhhhhh try a thingie here

- Jimmy

[jimmystarlight]

sorry, coulnd't hack the boss' echo: got found out.

[maliwan-official]

Hey, do you guys know any way to get invited to the Maliwan office parties? Like, the one's on yachts? I'm really looking to show the crowd my killer music taste and talk with wealthy hotties-I mean men. Business men for business.

I wish I knewwww!!!! Liek- i heard cool stuff abt thos parties but i'm just a lowly intern and i can only hear rumours abt them an nothing else :((((((

- Jim

Usually, there are some rings to jump before being able to do that. The organizer is the one who hires/invites people for the party, and many people go through a bunch of screenings to even get to the list for being selected. Then I guess it becomes only a matter of seeing if the young master oh god i'm cringing calling him like that randomly picks you from the list.

I have no clue about who is the current "party planner", otherwise I'd have told you to echo-mail them and wished you luck.

- Hifumi

[seasonschange32]

Dang it! Now How am I supposed to bust down to pure/honey while trying to rizz up some wealthy boys??

[maliwan-official]

HOLD ON I HAEV AN IDEA lemme just uhhhhh try a thingie here

- Jimmy

[maliwan-official]

Hey, do you guys know any way to get invited to the Maliwan office parties? Like, the one's on yachts? I'm really looking to show the crowd my killer music taste and talk with wealthy hotties-I mean men. Business men for business.

I wish I knewwww!!!! Liek- i heard cool stuff abt thos parties but i'm just a lowly intern and i can only hear rumours abt them an nothing else :((((((

- Jim

Usually, there are some rings to jump before being able to do that. The organizer is the one who hires/invites people for the party, and many people go through a bunch of screenings to even get to the list for being selected. Then I guess it becomes only a matter of seeing if the young master oh god i'm cringing calling him like that randomly picks you from the list.

I have no clue about who is the current "party planner", otherwise I'd have told you to echo-mail them and wished you luck.

- Hifumi

[demondepresso]

OC-tober -> Day 5 Weakest OC

For this prompt, I chose Jimmy: the most vanilla extract person in the whole Borderlands universe!

A innerworlder not used to the whole crazyness of the border planets. He's just a leetol guy, a bit clumsy, loves pastels, omegaverse fanfic, cursed furbies and working with computers.

[time-jester]

BOOM! RANDOM BORDERLANDS POLL!!

WHICH IS THE BEST GUN MANUFACTURER AND WHY?

Bandit / Scav / CoV

Hyperion

Vladof

Jakobs

TORGUE

Maliwan

Dahl

Atlas

Tediore

Pangolin

Voting ended onSep 25, 2023

Lore-wise, Gameplay-wise, "Would I work for them?"-wise, whatever-wise! Vote for what you believe is the best brand in the Borderlands series!

Reblogs are appreciated!

[jakobsofficial]

Alright y'all, you know what to do.

[escuerzoresucitado]