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Apr 27

beyond the beanstalk chapter 23

(one/two/three/four/five/six/seven/eight/nine/ten/eleven/twelve/thirteen/fourteen/fifteen/sixteen/seventeen/eighteen/nineteen/twenty/twenty one/twenty two/OPTIONAL CHAPTER/twenty three)

AUTHORS NOTE: if you want maximum impact, listen to I'm Your Man by Mitski when you get to Hendrick's part of the chapter.

The journey back to Mabel’s hometown had been completely uneventful once again, and though she was tired from waking up so early, she knew it meant she could be home before the next morning. She stepped up to her childhood home, breathing in deeply and exhaling with a smile before pushing the door open. The home was cluttered in a way that left it looking inviting, herbs hanging from the ceiling, plants littered over every surface, and not a speck of dust in sight. Everything in the home was incredibly well loved, and it showed in the way that the small couch in the sitting room seemed to slouch too close to the ground. Her mother poked her head out from around the corner, a bright smile appearing on her face the moment she noticed.

“I’ll be right there, Mayflower. I just need to dry off my-”

“Mabel!” Her father practically zoomed over to her. His eyes were watery and tired-looking, and the tip of his nose was shiny and red. “Did you know that it’s possible for faeries to be living in your house?” Cedric grabbed her by the shoulders, uncharacteristically energetic. “Oh, I feel so awful, I must be a terrible host.” He grumbled, letting her go before pacing back and forth while grabbing things before setting them right back down.

“Cedric, my love, please go lay down again. You’re still sick.” Gwen’s arms encircled Mabel, and she squeezed her daughter into a hug. “I knew I shouldn’t have let him talk me into giving him the non-drowsy kind.” She shook her head, walking back over to him.

“Why is he even talking about faeries anyway?” Mabel laughed slightly, watching her mother do her best to get her father to at least sit down. He was a determined man, even when he wasn’t a little woozy off of her mothers remedies.

“There was a storm a few days ago, and Bucky found a little faery out in the rain. The poor thing was soaked to the bone.” Gwen stood beside Cedric, not once taking her eyes off of him. “That same storm is the reason your father is sick.” She rolled her eyes with a small smirk on her face.

“Your petunias needed to be moved!” Cedric argued, leaning forwards. He seemed as though he wanted to stand up but knew better. “I had promised you that I’d do it that day, rain or shine. So I did it-”

“Rain or shine, yes, yes, I know.” Gwen sighed, pressing her palm into her forehead. She eventually recovered, turning back to Mabel. “But anyways, he brought her here last night since the moon was going to be full, and I took care of her for a little while. Your father was very excited to have a child in the house again.”

“You and Bucky grew up too fast, Mayflower.” Cedric complained softly, seeming reflective. “I can only hope that one day you’ll bring your son around.”

“I will, Papa.” She replied with a nod. “Maybe soon, actually. I suppose the Winter Festival is coming soon.” She said to herself, thinking again about all of the things she’d want to get for Jack and her husband. The Winter Festival was celebrated each year on the day of the winter solstice, and it had always been a day of connection and gift-giving, at least in her family. Ever since she had married, her family had begged her to bring Roger with her for the celebrations, but her husband had always declined. He didn’t want to intrude, even if Mabel had assured him that idea was nonsense.

“What did you come for, Mayflower?” Her mother asked, stepping back towards the room she had come from.

“Oh, well, it's getting colder, and Jack doesn't have any warmer clothes, I was just wondering if we had any of Bucky’s old stuff?” She asked, following her towards the kitchen. She glanced once over her shoulder to look at her father, who now seemed to be staring off into space.

“I think that we’ve got some, I’ll get it for you.” Gwen glided through the hall, not bumping into a single herb. Mabel followed closely behind, taking in every scent. She had forgotten just how much she had missed this. “How old is he, again? I can’t remember if you told us or not.”

“He’s fourteen.” Mabel replied, stopping behind her once the pair made it to the closet. “But, he is a lot smaller than Bucky was at that age. It’ll probably be big on him.” Mabel noted, realizing now that it probably would have been a good idea to get Jack's measurements and purchase new clothing from a tailor.

“If it’s a problem, bring him around and your father will be happy to alter them.” Gwen said, reaching into the closet and producing a cloth sack full of clothes. She opened it for a moment to look into it, and sure enough, inside was Bucky’s old childhood clothes. Gwen closed the bag again, and handed it to Mabel. “Those should be warm enough. If it gets bad, I’m sure there’s a wool coat in the bottom of the bag.”

“Thank you.” Mabel smiled, setting the bag down beside her. It was fairly heavy, and she knew that carrying it home in itself would be a bit of a struggle. Gwen closed the closet door, and then a small crash noise came from the front room. Mabel jolted, eyes going wide, but her mother simply shook her head and sighed.

“Cedric?” She called as the two moved closer to where he had been. “What are you doing, honey?” Mabel followed closely behind her mother, bracing the back of clothes against her back.

“Nothing my love, I was just, uh, trying to organize…” He trailed off, and Mabel would soon see why. He had been organizing the bookcase in his energetic stupor, and had knocked off a few bottles full of different dried herbs. Nothing was broken, luckily, as Gwen knew better than to use thin glass, but they had still hit the ground. Cedric coughed a few times before putting them back on the shelf.

“Cedric.” Her mother sighed, stepping over to him. “I think it’s time you get some rest.” She placed a hand on his shoulder and tried leading him to their bedroom. Cedric followed, of course, but he still coughed along the way. “I’ll get you some more cough suppressant, and maybe this time I’ll make sure it’s the drowsy kind.” She made a point of saying, and her husband simply mumbled on the way to get some rest. Mabel stood, watching after her parents for a moment, noting that her father seemed to be limping again. She took in a deep inhale, hoping that no tears were bubbling up in her eyes. They were getting so old, and here she was not taking care of them. Of course, Bucky lived nearby, and he could always take care of them, but that didn’t mean she didn’t feel bad about not being there. It was so hard to reach her when she lived with Roger, and often she feared that she wouldn’t be told when something went wrong. She hadn’t been told about her father getting sick, and even though it seemed like her mother had handled it, she couldn’t help herself from wondering what could have happened without her even knowing. She bit her lip, starting to chew at the rough skin there while she worried more and more, only stopping when she heard her mother’s footsteps again.

“Do you need anything else, Mayflower?” She asked, and Mabel shook her head. “Anything to eat?” Mabel shook her head again.

“No, thank you.” She knew that if she ate anything with a racing mind that it’d be likely that she’d get nauseous. “I should probably go though, I want to be home before dark.” Her mother nodded, embracing her in a hug again.

“I’ll miss you until you come back, Mabel.” She noted, and Mabel squeezed her mother just a little bit tighter.

“I will too, mom.” She fought back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. “I’ll come back as soon as I can.” It wasn’t a promise to her mother, though. It was a promise to herself. She hoisted the bag of clothes over her shoulder and stepped out of the house, pausing only once to look back at her childhood home over her shoulder. She sighed, worry once again filling her entire form, but she knew she needed to continue on. She walked back towards town, knowing she had a little more time before the cart she usually took returned to town. She made a beeline towards Bucky’s stand in the marketplace, hoping to talk to him about the faery child he had found last night. At least that would take her mind off of all the worrying.

“Mabel?” She stopped walking the instant she heard her name, eyes scanning the area for who it had come from when she was suddenly swept off the ground and pulled into a hug. A hand covered her eyes playfully. “Guess who!” A smile crept onto her face.

“Oh, come on Bucky, I know it’s you.” She laughed, turning around as he loosened his grasp. He seemed a little more hairy than normal, and he scratched his chin with a hand at an almost inhuman speed. “I just came from a visit with Mom and Dad, I heard about your little discovery the other night.” She lowered her voice, and Bucky’s smile began to droop a little.

“She's alright. I-I’m helping her search for her home, she got lost during the storm, but well… the full moon is sort of hindering things.” He mumbled, grabbing her arm and pulling her off to the side. Though Bucky had been adopted into the family when Mabel was just a toddler, and she loved him even with his lycanthropy, not everyone felt the same way. Luckily no one here had found out, as her mother and father were very good at covering up any incidents that arose, but that didn’t stop the family from feeling on edge from time to time. Once he had successfully got them out of the bustle of the streets, he cleared his throat. “Mom’s been pretty good about watching her. But, well, she’s antsy to know where I’m going at night, and that makes me worry just a little.”

“Well, you’ve never exactly been that dangerous on full moons. Just a little more excitable, that’s all.” Mabel replied with a shrug. “There’s a reason Dad never had a problem when I went out to find you at night. You wouldn’t hurt a soul.”

“Not on purpose anyway…” He trailed off, crossing his arms. Mabel sighed. “I know, I know, I-I’ve never actually hurt anybody, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen.” He countered an argument she’d given him time and time again. “She’s also small enough to fit in the palm of my hand, which absolutely does not help at all.” He shivered at the thought, and Mabel realized that she recognized that thought.

“Maybe I really should bring Roger around for the Winter Festival…” She trailed off, noting it mostly to herself. “It seems you would have more in common with him now than ever.” Bucky cocked his head to the side, akin to the way a dog would. Then he perked up, grabbing her by the shoulders excitedly.

“Oh, yes, right, you have a child now!” He smiled brightly, his pointed ears twitching up slightly. “How is he? How is Roger? How are you?” He spewed the questions excitedly, his entire bulky form vibrating with sheer excitement.

“Well, his name is Jack, and he’s doing a lot better than he was. Roger is acclimating to it, he’s had some problems but nothing we haven’t been able to deal with, you know?” Mabel smiled back at him, enjoying his excitement. But then her smile began to fade as his face remained questioning her own opinion, and she realized that there was no way to escape her own worries anymore. “But I… I’m not so sure I can be a good mother to him. I’m usually the one to have the more… serious conversations with him, at least so far, but it’s not like I know what I’m saying. I still barely feel like an actual adult myself, and I-I’m only pretending I have any of those motherly skills. Roger thinks that I know everything, because of the orphanage, and I worry that if he knew, he wouldn’t have any confidence at all whatsoever, and obviously that’s bad-”

“Woah, woah, woah, slow down.” Bucky squeezed her gently. “Take Roger out of the equation. You don’t have to worry this much about him.” He noted, and Mabel took in a breath.

“I-I… I’m inadequate, Bucky. I mean, I-I never really got a real job, I never moved out, I-I… I mean, I worked with kids once, but not in a way that's really comparable to having a child, so I-I… I’m scared. I told Mom and Dad, but they just seem so confident in me without reason, and I just… I don’t have any of that confidence.” She brushed at her face with a hand even though it was dry, hoping that she wouldn’t cry. Bucky took a deep breath before wrapping his heavy arms around her and pulling her close. Her nose twitched, pinching her eyes shut and burying her face in the crook of his neck and allowing herself to be held.

“You are not inadequate. You are not far behind, you aren’t some spoiled noble brat who had everything handed to them, you chased after the things you wanted and you got them.” He pulled back slightly to make eye contact with her. “You are a wonderful person. That is an undeniable fact, but that doesn’t mean you have to know everything.” He sighed. “I… well, you never really saw how our parents had to adapt to raising me, but… it really is about figuring it out as you go. I know that's absolutely the opposite of what you want to hear, but it’s true.” Mabel took in a shaky breath, and Bucky exhaled with her, another thing they used to do as children.

“You’re probably right.” She breathed out again, a small smile coming to her face before it fell off again. “Can I ask you to do something for me?” She asked, feeling raw and exposed.

“Of course.” Bucky nodded, bringing his face in close.

“If Mom or Dad ever need help… if you ever need help, please don’t hesitate to write me a letter.” She felt the weight lift off her chest as she allowed herself to express the worry. “It will never bother me, and I will always come and be here, no matter how small you think it is.” She placed a hand on his shoulder, looking him right in the eyes so he’d know she was serious. Bucky nodded seriously.

“Of course. The falconer owes me a favor, anyway.” He winked, smirking at her with confidence. His ears twitched, his pupils narrowing and darting to look past her. “But I think that your cart is here.” He noted, and Mabel turned around to see the cart driver waving at her. She was always sort of amazed by his enhanced senses, and she stepped away from him while waving.

“I’ll see you soon, Bucky, I promise I’ll be back for the Winter Festival!” She called to him, even though she knew he would hear her anyway.

“You better!” He called back, waving after her.

----

Hendrick’s fingers twitched against Edmund’s hands as his mind raced. His eyes were focused on the window as he watched the sun rise. It would be morning soon, and yet he hadn’t slept at all. This would be his final contact with Edmund before he left to finally find Jack, and it hurt quite a lot more than he had anticipated. Of course, that hurt was compounded with the petrifying idea of feeling love for the giant baker. He had never loved anyone like this, and it was a very bizarre feeling. But on top of that, he could only hear his father’s angry voice echoing the idea of what a man was supposed to be in his head. He was to be strong, to be masculine, and he was to love a woman. There was no room for error in his father’s mind, and in turn, his own. He could not be allowed to love a man. Then again, when had his father ever been right about what it meant to be a knight, or even a man? Everything his old master had taught him contradicted just about every word that had ever seeped from his father’s mouth, and Hendrick began to feel himself calm ever so slightly at that reminder. Unfortunately the echoes of his fear of not being manly enough were only replaced by a different fear, that Edmund would never return this kind of affection. He turned his head, looking at the sleeping giant’s peaceful face and feeling a sense of preservation seep into his stomach. He would do anything to stay here in this moment, with the giant in blissful ignorance of his dilemmas. If only it could continue on like this, and Hendrick could hide his feelings. But he knew himself too well. There wasn’t a subtle bone in his body. He turned back towards the rising sun, deciding to pull himself out from underneath Edmund’s hands and stand on his chest. The moment he moved, however, a large finger curled around him.

“Hendrick?” The word rumbled beneath him, and he felt his face heat up. He knew both of Edmund’s beautiful brown eyes were trained on him, and he almost couldn’t bear to look. But he looked anyway, his yearning to see the giant baker’s face outweighing his better sense. Edmund’s eyes were squinted but shining in the dim sunlight, his lips pulled into a slight pout. “Did you need something?” The giant asked, remaining in place. He picked up one hand and used it to cover his mouth while he yawned, before setting it back down in front of Hendrick. It was a subtle movement, and yet it still made him nervous. Realistically, there wasn’t much he could do if Edmund chose to keep him here despite his wishes. Even though his heart assured him that the giant baker would never do such a thing, his brain decided it was plausible enough to account for when he chose to speak.

“Ah, no. Not-Not really.” He stuttered, almost kicking himself at the hesitation. He needed to sound confident, there was no time for him to act like a lovesick fool. “I just wanted to stretch.” He lied, stretching his arms above his head even though he didn’t really need to. He looked at Edmund, who was still looking at him through half-lidded eyes. “You can go back to sleep, if you want. I didn’t intend to wake you.”

“It’s alright.” Edmund eased him, a finger rising up and rubbing the top of his head. Hendrick did his best not to sigh with joy at the contact. “I don’t mind, I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep now if I tried.” The giant cupped his hand around him, lifting his body up to a sitting position. Hendrick was deposited off to the side for a moment, feeling cold and dejected while Edmund’s arms stretched far above the giant’s head for a moment or two. He wanted so badly to spend these last moments in Edmund’s grasp, where for a moment he could be sure of himself. He looked toward the window again, spotting the way the sky was painted an array of gorgeous shades of deep red and orange, the golden sun a perfect centerpiece.

“Would you like to go watch the sunrise together?” He proposed, a smile forming on his face. Edmund's face flushed darker, and his eyes seemed to widen slightly at the idea.

“Sure.” He replied, and Hendrick’s heart fluttered in his chest. He'd get one beautiful final moment before he had to leave, at least. The giant shifted, grabbing him up with thick but careful fingers. Edmund stood from the bed, yawning towards the ceiling before looking back at Hendrick. The giant stared at him for a moment or two, clearly thinking about something. Hendrick was lifted up at a pace that was only slightly too fast, stopping just before Edmund's face. He flushed red immediately at the thought that the giant might kiss him right here, right now, but he knew that was only a delusional thought. There was no way the giant was getting as much pleasure from their shared interactions as he was, and that simple idea kept him from expressing it himself. “Would you… like to ride on my shoulder?” Edmund asked, glancing towards the mentioned spot. Hendrick’s smile only grew at the idea of subtle contact.

“Why not?” He supposed, feeling like a free man. He was once again lifted at that slightly stomach-dropping pace, before he was deposited onto Edmund’s wide shoulder. He stood at first, taking in just how… average everything looked from this height. It was almost as if he were a giant like Edmund, and his smile began to fade. It was another reminder that he was too insignificant for Edmund, too small to fit into his world in the slightest. But oh, how he wanted to. He took a few steps closer to the giant’s neck, sitting down and leaning against it. He could hear the giant’s heartbeat, like this. For a moment, he closed his eyes and just allowed himself to live in the moment again as the beating quickened its pace. His perch lurched forward as Edmund headed for the back door, stepping out into the chilly morning air. Hendrick opened his eyes, shivering a little and nuzzling closer to the giant. He could feel the way Edmund’s muscles twitched beneath him, and though it hurt, he imagined that it was all reciprocation.

“Well, uh, th-this is the sunrise, basically.” Edmund’s voice rumbled against him, and though it was loud, the knight did not regret his place near the giant's voicebox. Out here, he could tell that the sun had painted the clouds beneath it chalky shades of pink and purple, and he allowed himself to take in a deep breath before he could say what he needed to.

“You know, I quite enjoyed staying with you, Edmund.” He said, allowing his cheeks to heat. He couldn’t give away too much of his feelings, and now that he was sure the giant wouldn’t be able to see him, he was able to express a lot more freely.

“I like you being here too.” Edmund replied, much softer this time. Hendrick noted his gentleness, the change of volume, and it only made his cheeks deepen in color. His insides twisted as the next words formed a bitter taste on his tongue.

“I have to leave today.” He said, allowing the words to rest in silence for a moment. He felt the giant’s breathing stop for a moment beneath him. “You-” He cleared his throat before rephrasing. “This truly was a wonderful experience. But, I must continue my quest for my nephew.” He felt the shoulder beneath him begin to quiver, and large fingers floated over and plucked him up. For a moment, Hendrick felt his stomach drop at the idea that Edmund might not let him leave, but only for a moment. That idea dissipated quicker than it had come to him, and he was placed in barely shaking hands. Edmund’s deep brown eyes were locked onto him, and they almost seemed wet looking.

“I-I… I know.” The giant replied, taking in a deep breath to try and calm himself. Hendrick moved to stand, his heart aching at the sight of his eyes welling up.

“Oh, please don’t cry. Eyes such as yours were never meant for tears.” He stepped as far forward as he could, hoping that maybe somehow, he could reach the giant. Edmund’s breath caught in his throat, and he choked out a ragged exhale. His mouth opened, but Hendrick interrupted him, fearing that the giant would beg him to stay.

“Hendrick, I lo-”

“I have overstayed my welcome, Edmund, as much as I loathe to admit it. I-I have shirked my duties simply because I wanted to stay here, but I can ignore that no longer. You are too great a man for me to burden you with my guilt.” The words spilled out of his mouth, each polished and refined but laced with impending sorrow.

“What about your promise?” Edmund uttered, before looking away as though the words had slipped out.

“I have no intent to go back on my word.” Hendrick straightened himself stoically, almost a little offended that the giant would think so low of him. “If you call, I will come. No matter where I am, I will come.” He reiterated, looking down shamefully. He hadn’t realized that something like this would hurt quite so badly. Yet another mistake to add to the infinite list. At least letting Edmund down now would keep the yearning in his heart from taking root and spreading. Deep down, though, he knew it already had. Deep down, he was betraying himself far more than the giant, and he felt his eyes begin to sting. He would not cry, though. His father had always told him it was unbecoming. “Please, Edmund. I cannot leave my nephew alone. I… I have failed so many people, I-I-”

“I know.” The giant took a deep breath. “Please, promise me you’ll be safe. Promise me you’ll come back.” Hendrick hesitated for a moment, freezing up. His sister had said the same thing years ago, and he hadn’t kept up his promise. He knew it was a fantasy to promise his safety, not when he didn’t even care about it himself. It was an unimportant factor. The important thing was to keep others safe. To keep Edmund safe, even if it meant keeping the giant safe from Hendrick himself. “Please, Hendrick, promise me.” The giant’s voice wavered, breaking Hendrick out of his trance. He was nothing but a lovesick fool. And like a fool, he replied despite everything he knew.

“I promise.”

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