Mallory Caine is a dead ringer for Zoe Sugg. She is 19 years old and is on tour as a Camera Operator.
Welcome to the Free-For-All Tour! Can we get a name to verify your backstage passes?
Mallory Caine, at your service.
Oh, okay cool. I see your name on the list, but do you know who you look a lot like?
People tell me I look a lot like Zoe Sugg. I really don’t see it. She’s much too gorgeous for me.
Right. You probably get that all the time. Anyway, how’d you wind up here?
Well, my mum was a back-up singer for a few big name artists that I don’t like naming because it makes me feel like I’m bragging, and my mum said that it’s not lady-like to brag. My father was a roadie for whomever she was singing back-up for and they met there. After two years and hundreds of hours performing premarital sex, I was born — during the tour. My mum had to leave to take care of me, but went back on the road, dragging me along, once I reached the one year mark. I grew up learning how to work all the equipment, and even made a guest appearance at a concert when I was seven. Obviously, I was home-schooled. I’m glad, ‘cause it meant that I didn’t have to deal with the teenage sluts and whores. The only problem was, band groupies were probably one hundred times worse. Absolutely disgusting. Ugh, I’m rambling, aren’t I? Long story, short. I skipped out on a normal teenage life to live on the road and was basically born to be doing this shit.
Interesting. So how’s it feel to be part of possibly the biggest and most anticipated tour of the year?
I’m more excited than nervous, to be honest. Like, I’ve been on bigger tours, but I wasn’t part of the crew. I was just an extra set of hands if needed, you know? But now that I get to go out and do this shit on my own? I’m excited. I get to show my parents that I can do this without their help. The only part I’m nervous about is fucking up and getting fired. If I get fired, my parents are gonna make me go to college. “It’s never too late, Mal,” they always tell me. Um, no thanks. I’m cool with how my life is.
Oh, nice. Well go ahead. I s’pose I’ll be seein’ you around.
Uh, yeah. You will. Try not to trip over any wires, okay? And if you hear anyone saying that a camera operator isn’t important, punch them in the face for me please.
--- If you stole Mallory's mobile, you'd find...
Numerous pictures of Ellis Evans as it seems she often volunteers to babysit whilst Paxton is out.
Various shopping apps for stores including Topshop, Urban Outfitters, and H&M.
Two missed calls from her mum and an unheard voicemail.
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