The (Mis*)adventures of Miss Mallory Deane

Rock on. Rock off. Rock in. Rock out.

[mallorydeanenyc]

‘Imaginary Friend’ Book Review

Imaginary Friend

By Stephen Chobsky

Christopher is a typical, but lonely, seven year old boy. He and his mother Kate escape an abusive relationship and move from Michigan to a small town in Pennsylvania. There, they plan to start a new life together, free of fear. Little do they know, a very different, very real type of fear is awaiting. Something, or someone, is calling out to Christopher. He follows the voice into the Mission Street Woods and disappears for six days. He then emerges, albeit changed. He also has a duty to fulfill: build a treehouse in the center the woods before Christmas or life as he knows it will change forever. 

This book was definitely worth the read. It was so detailed and, for lack of a better word, imaginative. I loved the use of repetition of themes (Blue Moon, floods, baseball gloves, etc). It shows how mindful Chbosky is with his choice of wordage. I don’t want to say much else in fear of giving anything away...

[mallorydeanenyc]

‘The Couple Next Door’ Book Review

The Couple Next Door

By Shari Lapena

The Couple Next Door is an exciting yet concise thriller, suspenseful until the very end. I love a good mystery and Lapena delivered. This book definitely kept my attention as well as kept me guessing. There were twists and turns until (literally) the very last three pages. Anne and Marco’s baby is kidnapped. Anne is shattered, as is Marco. The police and Detective Rasbach are immediately at the scene searching for clues. However, it seems that the kidnapper has taken Cora without leaving a trace of evidence. As the investigation into the kidnapping unfurls, so do the secrets: Anne’s past, Marco’s business, their neighbor’s private hobbies. Who is hiding what? And why?

Spoilers ahead...

Anne’s parents are extremely wealthy and offer to pay a ransom. However, multiple plans to get baby Cora back ultimately fail. Are they failing because the kidnappers are holding out for more money? Or is there a kidnapper at all? Rasbach smells a rat.

Marco is stuck under the heel of his wife’s stepfather, Richard Dries. He is unknowingly duped by his father-in-law into kidnapping his own daughter for ransom money.

Where is Cora? Can Anne survive her anguish? How are their neighbors involved in all this? Eventually, all of the secrets are out on the table.

Part of me wanted at least a somewhat happy ending (Anne living happily with her baby) but will she be arrested for the murder of Cynthia? The last lines were great, though.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember.”

Perhaps an eerie ending is better than a happy ending... 

[mallorydeanenyc]

‘A Stranger on the Beach’ Book Review

A Stranger on the Beach

By Michele Campbell

Stalking, deceit, suspected murder: Michele Campbell quickly got my attention. 

Caroline Stark, a married woman of 20 years, believes that her husband is cheating on her. After she sees him with another woman at a lavish party she threw in his honor at their beautiful beach house, Caroline suspects the worst. Then in comes Aiden, the sexy younger man from the wrong side of the tracks. He seduces her...or does she seduce him?

This book definitely had a major twist that I wasn't expecting.

Spoilers below...

Who should you believe: Caroline or Aiden?

The novel is written from two opposing viewpoints. At first, it's natural for the reader to believe that the protagonist's side of the story is indeed accurate. The further you read, the further that is from the truth. Caroline says that Aiden is obsessed with her. That may be the case, but the way Aiden tells the story is different. Caroline has conceived an elaborate plan to blame Aiden for her husband's "murder" and collect insurance money to pay what he owes to the Russian mafia.

The story may sound convoluted but I enjoyed it for what it was. Campbell's latest is a page-turning, suspenseful mystery that may come across as a little far-fetched but I enjoyed it. Plus, it's a great beach read!

[mallorydeanenyc]

‘The Immortalists’ Book Review

The Immortalists 

by Chloe Benjamin 

The Immortalists began as a promising story of four young siblings who have their fortunes told by a clairvoyant: each child learns the exact date when they will die.

The novel is written in four parts, one part for each sibling. It starts with Simon, the youngest, in the late 70s/early 80s. Then we make our way to Klara in the 80s/90s, Daniel in the early 2000s, and eventually Varya in the present. By the time I made it to Daniel's story however, I lost interest. I didn't really care what happened to him.

A teenage Simon moves out to California with Klara from their NYC home. If he hand't have visited the fortune teller, he may have never gone to the West Coast, but he also may not have died. This is the same with each turn of events in all four stories. The fortune teller started the ball rolling and they can't do anything to stop it.

The novel almost felt like four short stories, intertwined by one common theme. Generally, that sounds like a great idea, no? In this case, it felt contrived (especially in Daniel and Varya's parts). Each section had an element that seemed a little too coincidental.

As far as I know, I understand what Chloe Benjamin was trying to convey about our fear of death as human beings and whether or not we want to know our fate ahead of time to live life differently. I just couldn't empathize with the characters.

I read a review that said "provocative premise, poorly executed," and I have to agree.

[mallorydeanenyc]

‘Smoke Gets in Your Eyes’ Book Review

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory 

By Caitlin Doughty 

Caitlin Doughty's memoir "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" gives us a candid yet poignant view of what happens behind the scenes in a crematory.

The book starts on her first day working at Westwind Crematory and Burial. She is asked (told) to shave Byron, a corpse, in preparation for his viewing. Soon after, she is burning up bodies in the facility's retorts (cremation machines). She is pushed into the deep end of the pool and must learn to swim or drown. Her journey continues at Westwind where she gets into the nitty-gritty of cremation, embalming, and door-to-door corpse pick-up. Doughty also discusses personal accounts with her coworkers, the decedents (badly decomposed Padma and a 450lb victim of a cocaine overdose named Juan to her own grandmother), and goes into detail regarding standard post-mortem rituals. She also divulges her eccentricities and anxieties; at eight-years-old she suffered with a debilitating fear of death after watching a young girl fall 30 feet from the second-story of a mall. From that day forward, she shared a kinship with death.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and it was certainly worth the read. As a somewhat macabre person myself, I was totally intrigued with the intricacies of the funeral business. Her writing is witty and personable while still being informative and stirring. Though the book is, at the end of the day, about death, Doughty's style is humorous and lively (no pun intended). She attempts to lift the stigma and make the reality of death more accessible to the reader. Instead of fearing death, she wants us to embrace it. Additionally, she touches on historical and cultural death practices as well as explaining her personal views on death. I highly recommend "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" and am excited for her next book to come out in September!

[mallorydeanenyc]

2019 Reading Challenge 

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Currently reading

[mallorydeanenyc]

‘Nothing To See Here’ Book Review

Nothing To See Here

By Kevin Wilson

Favorite book of the year. I love Kevin Wilson’s writing. How to describe it...personable but witty and just so creative and real. He has a way to write about bizarre circumstances in such a realistic way. You believe that these things can happen. I love his books and I loved Nothing to See Here. Lillian is going nowhere fast when her old high school friend Madison contacts her with a proposition. They had a falling out, which was mainly Madison’s doing, but ultimately they still cared for each other. Lillian decided to accept the offer, though she had yet to know what it was. Anything was better than working at two groceries stores and living in your mother’s stuffy attic. Madison, rich-girl-extraordinaire, invites Lillian to her estate, where she lives with her son Timothy and her husband Jasper, an up-and-coming politician. He’s an older man but is finally gaining speed in his career and thusly rarely around. After the pleasantries, Madison, ever-beautiful and charismatic, starts to propose her idea; Lillian knows that she can’t/won’t say no to her no matter what she’s about to offer, but Madison asks her to take care of Jasper’s children from a previous marriage. They’re ten-year-old twins and they catch on fire. Everything would be paid for. She would live with the children, Bessie and Roland, in the guesthouse on the estate. It all seemed like a pretty good deal, minus the whole fire thing. Wanting to prove to her friend that she could actually accomplish something in her life, she accepts. She accepts the fire children. The story follows Lillian, the twin’s “governess,” as she takes care of these two somewhat feral children. They got the short end of the stick and not only do they spontaneously combust from time to time, they don’t really have anyone in the world that cares about them. Lillian becomes their world and they become hers. I highly suggest this book. It’s sweet, raw, and completely different than any other book I’ve read in a long time (probably since Wilson’s Perfect Little World). 

[mallorydeanenyc]

‘Baby Teeth’ Book Review

Baby Teeth

By Zoje Stage

This book thoroughly kept my attention. I wanted to know where it was going to lead after reading the first page. Additionally, it’s set in Pittsburgh, my hometown, so I loved picking up on my favorite local spots. The book is written from the perspective of Suzette, the mother, and Hanna, her daughter. Hanna is mute and possibly slightly demonic; she is constantly trying to hurt her mother. Her father, however, is the sole receiver of her affection. There is an endless tug of war between the mother and daughter. I wanted to know who would win. Unfortunately, I felt that the ending didn’t deliver a winner. I was left with a lukewarm sense of partial resolve.

[mallorydeanenyc]

‘Anything For You’ Book Review

Anything For You

By Saul Black

**spoiler alert** 

I really enjoyed this book, as I’ve enjoyed all of Saul Black’s books. He knows how to write a good mystery. My one complaint was this: the fact that Adam Grant was sexually abusing his daughter seemed out of left field. There were really no clues early in the book that he was a sexual deviant so I was a bit surprised that he turned out to be a pedophile. Does anyone else agree?

[mallorydeanenyc]

‘Be More Chill’ Book Review

Be More Chill

By Ned Vizzini

If you knew that by taking one pill, you would be chill, like super chill, would you? Have you ever felt like a dork? Like you didn’t fit in? Like you were outside the periphery of ‘cool’? Then you should read this book. 

[mallorydeanenyc]

‘Remember Me Like This’ Book Review

Remember Me Like This

By Bret Anthony Johnston

This book was, in my opinion, 360 pages worth of reading with little satisfaction at the end. I felt like a lot of questions were left unanswered (not including the epilogue) and I just couldn’t really get into it. I really like Johnston’s writing style though.

[mallorydeanenyc]

‘The Last Anniversary’ Book Review

The Last Anniversary

By Liane Moriarty

This book was a bit too saccharine for my taste. I found myself having trouble wanting to pick it up and continue reading, which is rare for me when it comes to Liane Moriarty's books. Although the book had mystery, I didn't find it very thrilling.

[mallorydeanenyc]

In Defense of Millie Bobby Brown

To Whom It May Concern:

It has come to my attention that some of you vile, mouth-breathers out there in the Twitterspehre are hounding a precious, talented, 14-year-old actress named Millie Bobby Brown. You know, the ever-wonderful Eleven from Netflix mega hit “Stranger Things.” I am here to tell you that the bullshit stops now. Apparently, some of you are labeling her a racist homophobe by using falsified images (that you created in your mother’s basement, no doubt). Regardless, I am here to warn you that I am a cunning, mysterious vigilante that will tie your shoelaces together when you’re not looking. I will put salt in your sugar bowl. I will steal all of your left socks. I will slather all of the doorknobs in your home with Crisco. I am akin to Batman, but instead of giving you a ruthless beat down, I irritate you continuously until you can take it no more. You know the annoying fly that buzzes in your ear? That’s me…but like, worse.

Why do people feel the need to be such jerks online? Sure, it’s your First Amendment right to speak freely, but why are some of you such unprovoked jagaloons? Do you need a hug? Are you starving for attention? Is thatwhy you are trolling kidson Twitter? Let us grow up, shall we? She deleted her Twitter account because of you,you dunderheads! We could be missing out on some serious MBB tweeting but no, your selfish ass just had to say ghastly things about an innocent young girl. She even has a second account (@Milliestopshate) to specifically speak out against bullying and you still chose to fabricate nasty stories and disparage her. Is nothing sacred? She’s Millie Bobby everloving Brown! Seriously, who doesn’t love her? This little lady is a damned treasure and you’re calling her a hateful bigot? Get wrecked, you douchenozzle!

On June 18thduring the MTV Movie and TV Awards, my girl Millie accepted her coveted golden popcorn statuette by video as she was unable to attend the ceremony due to a recent knee injury. The incredibly sweet and ludicrously delightful young Brit gave her thanks and then added this:

“Since I know there are many young people watching this — and even for the adults, too — they could probably use the reminder that I was taught: if you don’t have anything nice to say, just don’t say it. There should be no space in this world for bullying, and I’m not going to tolerate it, and neither should any of you.”

Mic drop. She schooled you clowns! She took the high road and kicked you out of town! You can’t keep M. Bobby Brown down!

So, mean people of the internet, you know who you are. If you are a young person, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you’re an adult, you really need to reevaluate your life because you’re bullying a freaking child. Keep it up and I’ll put glue in your shampoo. Vigilante, out.

[sahind]

Peek-a-boo!

[wmagazine]

Watch a video interview with Bradley Cooper here.

Photo by Tim Walker.

[thatawkwarddisneymoment]

I’m not sure how many of you are Game of Thrones fans, but I’m super excited for next week’s episode.