would you guys consider making a collection on ao3 for writers to post their work into? just a suggestion, might be a nice way to keep things linked back to you guys
anon that’s such a good idea!! in fact we went right ahead and made a collection on ao3! we will update the adoption post :)
We have an astounding collection of over 300 prompt submissions dedicated to the rarepairs of Mamamoo (i.e. any pairing that isn’t Moonsun) and these prompts are currently up for adoption!
Check out the prompts at your leisure HERE - and if any particular one strikes your fancy, feel free to write a oneshot, a multichap, a drabble series, or even a full blown novel from the idea!
There’s no need to email us or submit a claim, simply browse and get writing :) All we ask is that you mention the Mamamoo Rarepairs Prompt Archive in your author’s notes and link back to the archive for your readers.
If you share your work on Tumblr, feel free to tag us @mamamoo-fic and we’ll happily reblog your story!
And if you’re on Ao3, we have an open collection HERE that you can crosspost your fic to, if you’d like!
Squeezed together under a single umbrella, her sandals getting soggier as they splashed across rain-soaked streets, Hyejin wished she’d had the sense to wear sneakers like Byulyi always did.
“I’m soaked. God this day is the worst.” She mumbled under her breath.
“Are you, though?”
Something about the way Byulyi glanced at her then made Hyejin panic. That mischievous glint in her eye, an impulsive, half-baked idea surely behind it.
“Byul, don’t you dare-!”
The shock of pelting rain drew a sharp gasp from Hyejin, holding her momentarily frozen in disbelief. Beside her, Byulyi’s smirk didn’t hold a trace of regret for the still-open umbrella lying tossed aside on the sidewalk.
Heavy droplets soaked through her cropped shirt, chasing away all memories of summer heat. Instinctively, Hyejin reached down to snatch up the umbrella handle.
An arm looped around her waist and pulled her away before she could grasp it.
“We’ll get it later.” Byulyi promised, when Hyejin spun around to fix her with a puzzled glare.
“But-” Hyejin groaned, pushing wet hair from her eyes. She couldn’t decide whether she wanted to smack the older girl or give in to the wicked little grin that always got Byulyi her way.
“But what?”
It wasn’t like an umbrella would do much for them at this point. A stray passerby hurried past, hunched under his umbrella, the streets otherwise empty in the downpour.
“This is stupid.” Hyejin grumbled. Despite herself, she pressed closer to Byulyi, the arm around her waist a welcome warmth against her skin.
Hyejin couldn’t help but crack a smile as Byulyi breathed out a laugh and rolled her eyes affectionately, tugging Hyejin closer.
“So let’s be stupid.”
And perhaps this became one of Hyejin’s favourite memories, of wet blonde hair stuck to Byulyi’s cheek, the glitter of raindrops caught on her lashes, the warmth of Byulyi’s smiling kiss pressed to her lips, deliciously light in the heavy rain.
So glad to hear that you're doing better now, dandhelions! I was beginning to get worried when I saw your twitter gone and the changes here. Thank you to you and mint for all your hard work!
thank you, i’m sorry for causing any worry!! please look forward to some more stories soon :)
Hwabyul and Halloween (I know it’s nowhere near Halloween but 🤷♀️)
Glowing spheres of luminescence floated high above the wood panelled floors, chasing the shadows from every nook of the vast room. The huge, silver moon cast an unusually strong light through the arched windows that lined towering walls.
Though it had once been the crowning achievement of architects of old, the grand ballroom had been relegated - as all the rooms in the estate had been - to a rather pedestrian purpose, now that it housed students instead of royalty. At the front of the room, where once a string quartet might have played, a DJ stood with laptop and mixer, pumping music through black speakers.
The pounding music only added to the cacophony that already filled the room. Hawks screeched as they soared; wolves growled and cats hissed. It was Halloween, the one night that graduating seniors were allowed to summon their familiars on school grounds.
Years of effort culminated in a sight to behold. The closely bonded animal spirits rarely displayed the restraint of their owners; it was impossible to hide true sentiments when familiars crossed paths. The resulting clashes made this gathering among the most infamous - and highly anticipated - in the school.
Hyejin scowled at the red-faced wizard with a chameleon on his shoulder, wiped the remnants of its sticky kiss from her cheek. Bright blue liquid sloshed onto the tablecloth as she set down the jug she was holding, her expression icy.
“You have three seconds to get out of my sight.”
He swallowed his apologies and scampered away, holding his empty cup. Hyejin rolled her eyes in disgust, reaching for a napkin. At her feet, a lion cub wound its way around her legs, looking up at her with bright golden eyes.
“We’re going to stay out of trouble tonight.” Hyejin murmured, reaching down to scratch her familiar behind the ears.
She poured herself a drink, cast an eye over the crowd and retreated to a quieter corner. A ferret scurried past, which the lion cub ignored, in favour of curling up on the hem of Hyejin’s robe and promptly falling asleep.
Hyejin sipped her drink slowly, observing with disinterest the rabble gathering around a fox and a fierce little weasel. Predictably, familiars of the captains of opposing football teams. This wasn’t the conflict she was trying to avoid tonight.
By trouble, she meant Byulyi.
There was something about the silver-haired, silver-tongued witch that Hyejin despised, from the day they’d crossed paths in first year. In Potions, Hyejin recalled, a particularly tough subject for her. Byulyi had been at the table behind hers, chatting up another classmate - her inane blather infuriating Hyejin so much that she’d turned around and hissed, “would you please shut up?”
Byulyi had simply grinned at her, an annoying, mischievous smile, and before long the smooth talk had begun again.
An unspoken tension emerged between them that day. Byulyi seemed to excel in irritating Hyejin in the smallest of ways, but Hyejin refused to give Byulyi the satisfaction of seeing her frustrated. So she kept her qualms to herself whenever Byulyi charmed her way out of trouble, their teachers excusing simple mistakes that Hyejin would never tolerate. She ignored when Byulyi made silly jokes in class, derailing discussions and making everyone laugh. And she pretended not to notice that Byulyi always caught her eye and winked whenever she was up to no good, for she was determined not to be a conspirator in her pranks.
She rose above the litany of little things that Byulyi was surely doing on purpose to annoy her. But it took effort; just one glance at the girl’s stupid grin was often enough to make Hyejin’s pulse start to rise.
She chewed on the rim of her plastic cup absentmindedly, watching the mob dissolve back into the crowd while the fox licked its forelegs.
Her familiar stirred from its slumber, then rose to its feet.
That was all the warning Hyejin got before the subtle scent of pine invaded her senses.
“Hey.” Byulyi smiled at her, smug as always. Hyejin drew in a breath and closed her eyes in irritation. Moments of silence ticked by, and it soon became apparent that Byulyi wasn’t going anywhere.
Curiosity caused her to glance stealthily at the witch. Though she wouldn’t admit it, Hyejin had often wondered what Byulyi’s familiar was.
It took her a moment to spot: the tip of a whiskered nose peeking out of the collar of Byulyi’s robe.
“This is Cheddar.” Byulyi said, reaching into her collar. A chubby brown and white hamster emerged, sniffed the air, and sat calmly in Byulyi’s cupped palm. Hyejin raised an eyebrow, lips quirking up in amusement despite herself.
“A hamster?”
“What’s wrong with that?” Byulyi laughed, stroking the rodent with the tip of her finger.
“You look more the type to have an owl. Or a snake.” Not that she’d thought about this. Hyejin looked away, feigning indifference. She was all too aware of her own familiar, stalking around their legs like it was trying to trip them up. Hopefully the cub would not cause a commotion.
“On the contrary, your familiar suits you perfectly.” Byulyi grinned. A blossom of pride swelled in Hyejin’s chest, one that she quickly batted away.
Annoying. The cub growled, low in its throat.
In a blur of motion, Cheddar hopped off Byulyi’s palm and scurried down her robe, onto the floor. For a brief, horrible moment Hyejin was certain that her familiar would pounce, her true feelings towards Byulyi revealed in the snap of her cub’s jaws.
To her surprise, the lion cub only watched the rodent curiously, sliding down to lay flat on its belly. The hamster clambered between the cub’s two front paws, nestling itself into golden fur without a trace of fear.
Hyejin stared at the bizarre sight, so strange that it took her a moment to register Byulyi’s presence beside her.
“So… this is unexpected.”
An indignant blush rose on Hyejin’s cheeks at the suggestive, teasing lilt in Byulyi’s voice. The other girl suddenly felt too close, and Hyejin resisted the urge to shove Byulyi away. Instead she stared at her familiar, at the tiny hamster washing its face, dismayed at what she was seeing. But her horror only deepened as the cub sniffed the rodent, and began to lick the hamster with careful strokes of its tongue.
“I thought you didn’t like me.” Byulyi said, amusement lacing her voice.
“I don’t.” Hyejin muttered, forcing herself to meet Byulyi’s eyes, the stupid, cute way Byulyi’s nose crinkled when she smiled.
The witch glanced down at the ruffled rodent, indifferent to the cub’s affectionate grooming. “Your familiar seems to think otherwise.”
Hyejin gritted her teeth, wordless. For they both knew that familiars reflected the subconscious, the thoughts and feelings that one might not even know they harboured.
The twist in her stomach, the rise in her pulse, the flush of her cheeks she’d called loathing whenever she looked at Byulyi.
It all seemed so obvious now.
“Don’t think this changes anything.” Hyejin mumbled. She met Byulyi’s steady gaze, then looked away, unable to hold her eyes. “I still think you’re really annoying.”
The cub looked up at her knowingly, then raised a paw and lightly squashed the snoozing Cheddar.
“Sure.” Byulyi laughed, as Hyejin rushed to rescue the indignant rodent. The silver-haired witch picked up her familiar from Hyejin’s cupped hands, and before Hyejin could react, Byulyi was leaning in, much too close.
“I’ll be seeing you around, Hyejin.” She winked, a promise in her infuriatingly attractive smile. It took everything in Hyejin not to react. Refusing to give her the satisfaction.
Her lion cub betrayed her, prancing happily around Hyejin’s feet, its golden eyes never once leaving Byulyi as she turned and vanished into the crowd.
nine prompts in the queue and coming your way soon! thank u for the cool prompts and all your support my friends, and if any fic made u smile or feel some sort of way i would love to read your comments <3
Yongsun’s eyes followed Byulyi’s slender figure as she moved around in the dim lamplight. Pulling the blankets tighter around her, as if she was trying to shield her body from more than just the cold, Yongsun cleared her throat.
Byulyi didn’t look up, focused on buttoning up her shirt, which was rumpled from an evening left discarded on the floor. It felt as though the younger girl was deliberately avoiding her gaze. A stark contrast to her demeanour just moments ago, when they had been entangled in the sheets, dark desire burning in Byulyi’s eyes refusing to let Yongsun go.
“Byul…”
Silence hung between them, an empty pit deepening in Yongsun’s stomach. She reached forward, caught Byulyi’s wrist as the girl picked up her jacket. A last attempt.
“You don’t have to-”
“Don’t make it harder than it already is.” Byulyi mumbled, gently pulling her arm from Yongsun’s grasp. As if she’d been stung, Yongsun pulled her hand back, fighting the tears pricking at her eyes.
The bed dipped with Byulyi’s weight, and for a brief, traitorous moment, hope blossomed in her chest once more. It dissolved as quickly as it came when Byulyi picked up the ring left abandoned on Yongsun’s nightstand. Numbly, Yongsun placed her hand in Byulyi’s outstretched palm, allowing the girl to slip the silver band onto her finger.
“Take care of yourself.” Byulyi whispered. The brush of her lips seared Yongsun’s cheek, redolent of all they could have been.
And though she knew better than to hope, Yongsun’s gaze continued to linger at the doorway, where Byulyi had hesitated for the barest of seconds, long after the girl was gone.
It was week two of her first year and Wheein hated only one thing about her major.
Technically, she hated nearly 400 things about her major.
“Hey, I’ll show you how to print ‘hello world’ if you’ll give me a kiss!”
She ignored the leering boy to her right, ignored the jeers of his idiot friends egging him on. Their professor was late again. Wheein pushed her glasses up uncomfortably, pretending she couldn’t see the boys filling the lecture hall behind her in the reflection of her laptop monitor.
You’ll be the prettiest girl in engineering, her parents had remarked breezily. They hadn’t told her she would be the only girl in engineering, and that the boys would treat her like an outsider at best; a trophy to be won over, at worst.
“Is this seat free?”
A smooth, undeniably feminine voice cut through the rabble like a blade. Wheein looked up, more in surprise than in answer to the question - which only now, she realised, was directed at her.
A girl with bobbed blonde hair and fierce red lipstick set her bag down on the table. Manicured fingers gripped the empty chair to Wheein’s left and dragged it over to her right, forcing it into the space between Wheein and her frowning classmate.
“Move over.” she said, her tone icy.
The boy mumbled under his breath but reluctantly shuffled across to make room. Wheein stared in awe as the girl pulled her chair in, tossed her hair and began taking out her books.
“Um, hi. I’m Wheein.”
The girl looked at her, the corner of her lips curling up into a smile, and Wheein felt her stomach flip.
“Hyejin.” she said. “Let’s be friends.”
Wheein nodded, fought the rise of colour on her cheeks, pushed her glasses up shyly and looked away.
Well, she certainly wasn’t the prettiest girl in engineering anymore. Not that she was complaining.
There was no one in the public toilet, so no one saw the puff of white smoke, drifting through the wide gap under the door of the furthest cubicle.
No one saw the curious sight that followed - of the door swinging open as two girls spilled out, looking dizzy and a little disoriented.
Byulyi pulled a pocket watch from the breast pocket of her brown vest, its tarnished brass chain rattling as she examined it closely. Beside her, Yongsun dusted off her skirt, adjusted the tight black corset around her waist, and wrinkled her nose at the smell.
“I’m not sure when we are.” Byulyi muttered, lifting her eyes to meet Yongsun’s with a frown. She shook the pocket watch firmly, then slapped it against her palm to no avail. “My watch has never gotten stuck before.”
Sunlight filtered through the open doorway of the bathroom, green shrubs and park benches visible beyond. The tension in Byulyi’s shoulders eased when Yongsun reached out to straighten the bowler hat atop her head, shrugging like the watch didn’t matter. The older girl smiled, excitement gleaming in her eyes as she laced her fingers into Byulyi’s.
“Come on then. Let’s go find out.”
They emerged into the daylight, looking about curiously. Children played on colourful equipment, their laughter filling the air. A woman sat on a park bench, deeply focused on something in her hand that Byulyi couldn’t see. As they drew closer, she saw a small rectangular device, with images that moved when she swiped her thumb over it. It was unlike anything Byulyi had ever seen before.
“Where are the newspapers?” Byulyi wondered as they walked, peering into yet another rubbish bin and coming up empty.
A tug on her arm drew her attention. Yongsun nodded towards a trio of elderly men sitting under a gazebo. A game of chess lay spread before two of them; before the other, an open newspaper.
Before Byulyi could stop her, Yongsun was striding up to them with a disarming smile. They greeted her with barely concealed surprise, and Byulyi watched from afar as the girl made them laugh, their shock dissolving visibly into amusement. The man showed her the front page of his paper, and even at a distance Byulyi could see the disbelief on Yongsun’s wide eyes.
Another exchange, then he gladly handed her his paper and Yongsun was walking back.
“Well?” Byulyi asked, itching to run up to Yongsun and see the date on the paper for herself.
But she didn’t have the chance, for Yongsun dropped it as she approached, cupped Byulyi’s cheeks instead and drew her close.
“It’s June 2015.” Yongsun said, her smile impossibly bright. “We’re in the future. And it gets better.”
And Byulyi barely had time to draw a breath before Yongsun’s lips were pressed to hers, hopeful and unashamed and full of joy, all at once.
Wheein ran through the forest, hardly feeling the branches that snagged her dress and clawed at her skin. The light of the pale crescent moon did little to illuminate the dense foliage around her.
“Hyejin!”
The lantern she was holding cast more shadows than it banished and Wheein gasped as her foot caught on a fallen branch. She pitched forward, crashing heavily onto her hands. The flimsy paper lantern was crushed beneath her, plunging her into darkness.
Wheein fought back the tears welling in her eyes, blindly casting about for a sense of where she was. If she strained her ears, she could just make out the distant clang of cymbals of the festival they’d been attending, though the lights of the village remained hidden. But she hadn’t a clue which way to go.
Even if she did, she couldn’t go back without Hyejin. Her palms stung, her knees ached. The matron would kill her for returning like this, her hands bloodied and dress torn. But Wheein almost preferred that fate over spending a single day in that dreadful orphanage without Hyejin.
“Hyejin!” she screamed.
Wheein cursed the younger girl’s charming, confident smirk that could convince her of anything, even to sneak away when the matron’s back was turned. Cursed the dancing fireflies that lured them into the forest. They’d been enchanted, carelessly drawn apart in their eagerness to catch one first.
A single, small light flickered to life in the corner of her vision. Wheein turned towards the firefly, biting back a helpless sob. Her feet moved of their own accord, following the blazing pinprick of light through the darkness of the forest.
Another followed the first, yet another after the second. Soon a glowing procession lit her path, guiding her through the trees. But they did nothing to lift Wheein’s spirits.
She called for Hyejin until her throat was hoarse, her heart sinking with every step she took towards the growing music of the cymbals and the pounding drums.
“Wheein!”
Wheein’s eyes widened, her heart soaring, beating wildly at the faint, familiar voice. The fireflies winked, eager, urging her on.
“Thank you.” Wheein breathed. A smile broke across her cheeks, and she began to run.
Byulyi gathers up the thick quilt into a heavy bundle, carries it from the bedroom to the couch outside. It covers the entire leather sofa, drooping over the edge to rest on the floor. Carefully she adjusts it, tugging the corners of the blanket up until it clears the ground.
She checks once more that the thermos of hot tea is full, the plate of kimbap covered, the lights in the entryway still on. Twinkling lights around the Christmas tree wash the living room in a gentle glow once Byulyi turns the lamps off.
Byulyi hasn’t done this since she was eight years old, she and her younger sisters buzzing with excitement with every minute to midnight. She curls up under the quilt on the couch, blinks at the clock on the wall.
Now, as they did then, her eyes grow heavier even as she tries to stay awake.
A warm hand on her forehead causes Byulyi to stir. Yongsun fills her sleep-blurred vision, and Byulyi smiles.
“I told you not to wait up.” Yongsun’s voice is soft with affection, even as she shakes her head.
“I didn’t.” Byulyi mumbles. Her hands find Yongsun’s, laces their fingers together. “Eaten? Washed up? How was work?”
She struggles to sit up, rubbing her eyes, squinting at the clock. “What time is it?”
Yongsun smiles then, corners of her mouth dimpling in the way Byulyi adores. Byulyi presses back into the sofa as Yongsun crawls under the quilt, arms coming to rest around Yongsun’s waist, holding her close and warm and tight.
“Merry Christmas, you silly sweetheart.” Yongsun murmurs.
We didn’t anticipate receiving so much support for our little corner of the Mamamoo ficdom! Thank you for following us. We hope you’ve enjoyed our stories and are excited for the stories to come.
To celebrate reaching 500 followers, we have compiled a list of our favourite Mamamoo fics to share with you all. Check them out under the cut and show them some love!
-mint & dandhelions
This is a moonsun heavy rec list because there are a lot more moonsun fics than any other pairing (but that’s why we have our ficfest!) Asterisk next to our favorite favorites :D
🌼 Moonsun 🌼
*drabbles by spacedouche // it's simply love
mostly canonverse, nonlinear drabbles exploring moonsun’s relationship. When i’m overwhelmed by moonsun feelings, i go read random drabbles from this collection. -mint
*flowers are not enough by spacedouche // G // fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me.
spacedouche’s characterisation ;_; just read everything by spacedouche -mint
GLASS by fireroasted // G // This is the tale of two office ladies, idol worship, dramatic pining, and rampant homosexuality. Or, the story in which Moonsun are Wheesa shippers.
*i'd like to be with you, really by zucchinis // M // Drabbles exploring Moonsun going from friends to lovers.
This is hands down my favorite moonsun fic ;_____; i don’t know how many times i’ve reread it - i just love the way moonsun are characterised, i love the progression of their relationship, i love all the ANGST and the love. It’s so good!! -mint
in the dark eternity (like sunshine, you fell down to me) by thewoundupbird // T // Goblin: The Lonely and Great God AU - grim reaper!Solar and goblin!Moonbyul
If you’re like me and have no idea what the source material for this au is, don’t be alarmed by moonbyul being a goblin! the ending of this fic is really what made it for me - i think i’m just a sucker for angst. -mint
Introspection by buzuki // G // Worldviews of Moon Byulyi and Kim Yongsun are vastly different but this doesn't stop their lives from intersecting in a convenience store late at night.
make a wish by jonghyunslisterine // G // Byulyi isn't sure if she believes in love, but she believes in Yongsun.
oh baby, look what you've started by jinxfabray // T // In which Yongsun gets tired of her friends being grossly in love, and decides the best way to show them how annoying they're being is by pretending to be grossly in love herself.
*Official Girlfriends by krscnl // T // Wheein and Hyejin make a bet and now Yongsun needs someone to pretend to be her girlfriend for a week
this one is SO GOOD and i cry every time i remember it’s not complete and probably never will be. suffer with us -dandhelions
Residue by xsunray // NC-17 // Blurred lines and boundaries
the backward fall by wheetato // G // Solar’s the exception, as she is to most things.
unfinished but definitely still worth reading! -dandhelions
*The One Was Me by Merixcil // M // Yongsun crash lands on a foreign planet, and all her life unravels at once.
*there's always room for another by zucchinis // T // When Byulyi goes over the bridge, Yongsun isn't the only one that feels lost. With the help of a stranger, Byulyi survives - but at what cost? Amnesiac!Byul canonverse AU.
This Time Around by cest_what // G // Five first kisses in five universes.
everything about this series is adorable. plus there’s a bonus sixth chapter about wheesa! - dandhelions
🍁 Wheesa 🍁
*hook, line, sinker by wheeins // G // Wheein's tipsy but Hyejin's the first to fall.
it was love at second sight by oddpen // G // Soulmates au
Rebel With A Cause by boxxsaltz // G // High school au; when the capturing is in reverse.
*the day we felt the distance by wheeins // G // Wheein calls Hyejin every new year’s day.
🌷 Wheebyul 🌷
Today is Turquoise by usniverse // G // Not everyone was granted with a capability to understand Jung Wheein. One among the luckiest was Ahn Hyejin, her best friend for life. Another, who had been trying so hard to, was Moon Byulyi.
*you’re not a ripple (you’re a tidal wave) by wheetato // G // It’s a Tuesday when Byulyi returns.
🌻 Wheesun 🌻
*I thought of angels (choking on their halos) by oddpen // NC-17 // Wheein joins a special dating site for those looking for “financial arrangements” as punishment for losing a bet. She doesn’t expect to actually find anyone decent.
*Orange by pupthemedurl // NC-17 // Solar’s work at a psychiatric hospital has been uneventful until the arrival of a possible sociopath, who seems to know more about Solar than she's comfortable with.
Hello. Just wanted to drop by and say that the ficfest looks like a lot of fun. I'm in the process of narrowing down what I want to put on the form (I picked 30 that looked interesting to me because this looks that fun). I really like the premise of this ficfest, because there's more than enough moonsun in the fandom. Keep up the good work.
hi! thanks for sending us a message <3 we’re so happy that you’ve a whole list of prompts you’re interested in!! remember, you can always claim another prompt after you’re done with your first one :D
we look forward to seeing your participation in the ficfest!!!
prompt: where Wheein is sick and she doesn't tell anybody, but Hyejin knows her too well and goes to take care of her
~1200w
Wheein hasn’t responded to her texts for a couple of days now, and when Hyejin tries to call her, the phone just rings and rings.
It’s a little annoying, but Hyejin doesn’t think too much of it. Wheein is like that sometimes when she’s caught up in a project, spending more time with her sketchbook or her guitar than with her phone. Wheein will probably appear at her apartment in a couple more days, laptop in hand and eyes sparkling with excitement, eager for Hyejin’s thoughts on some new lyrics.
Another day without Wheein passes. At dinner, Byulyi complains that Wheein flaked on a movie without even giving her a good reason. Yongsun says she’s probably just tired.
“As if you’ve never flaked on anything.” Yongsun says, and Byulyi has the decency to look sheepish.
Hyejin snorts but doesn’t say anything, picking at her grilled meat as unease settles in her stomach. It’s not like Wheein to disappoint someone, even with good reason. The sense of disquiet gnaws at her in a way that doesn’t seem to affect Yongsun or Byulyi, who laugh and talk through the rest of dinner. Not that Hyejin minds; she knows Wheein hates when others worry about her.
She calls again in the morning, when she knows Wheein has probably just snoozed her alarm for the third time and is scrolling through social media in bed until the fourth. The phone rings and rings, and an unshakeable worry begins to take hold, gripping Hyejin with frightening certainty.
It only strengthens her suspicions when Wheein fails to show up that afternoon for a lunch they planned a month in advance. Hyejin orders fried chicken and noodles to go and catches a bus to Wheein’s place.
Wheein doesn't answer on the second, the third, or the fourth knock. Anxiety overrules patience and Hyejin finds the spare key Wheein gave her, cautiously lets herself inside.
“Wheein? it’s me.”
A triangle of light from the open door slices through a dim apartment, every curtain drawn tight to shut out the afternoon sun. Hyejin shuts the door and flicks a light on, her heart sinking with every step she takes inside.
She puts her takeout boxes on the kitchen counter where crusted plates crowd the sink. The small trash can overflows with tissues, snack wrappers, crumpled juice boxes. The air smells stale, but that isn’t the reason Hyejin holds her breath as she walks quickly towards the bedroom.
The bedroom door hangs ajar. Wheein is still in bed, her back to the door, blankets wrapped around her like a protective shield.
“Wheein.”
She doesn't respond, though the tremble of the quilt tells Hyejin she's awake. Concern drowns out every other question rising in Hyejin’s throat as she rushes forward.
“Oh, Wheein.”
“Get out.” Wheein croaks. “Don’t want you to see me like this.” Her voice is hoarse with disuse, muffled by the covers, so small that it breaks Hyejin’s heart.
Hyejin isn’t deterred, doesn’t even stop to think before she climbs onto Wheein’s bed and gathers the girl into her arms, blankets and all.
Despite the worry that refuses to loosen its chokehold on her, Hyejin takes some small comfort in the way Wheein curls into her, like a kitten seeking warmth. She wraps her arms tighter around Wheein, doesn’t know what to say, so she just presses her lips to the top of unwashed brown hair and whispers the only thing she knows to be true, over and over and over.
“I’m here, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. I’m here.”
*
Hyejin stops trying to predict whether Wheein will be out of bed when she gets there, whether the girl will have eaten or washed up, whether she’ll be greeted with a smile or with nothing but silence. She makes herself the only known constant, heading to Wheein’s straight after work each day with kimbap and fresh fruit, a couple of movies, some books.
It’s slow but not at all steady, less like an upward climb and more like a game of snakes and ladders. A roll of the dice as to whether they’ll be moving two steps forward or slipping five steps back on any given day.
On good days Wheein opens the door when Hyejin knocks. The apartment is clean, and Wheein insists on repaying Hyejin for the food, slips money into her purse when Hyejin refuses. They talk, put on a movie, throw popcorn at each other on the couch, go to the corner store for dinner and snacks.
Other days, Hyejin lets herself into the apartment and finds Wheein still wrapped up in her blankets, worn out by battles invisible to Hyejin. All she does then is slip under the covers and allow Wheein to curl into her, hands fisting into her shirt - all she can do then is hope that her presence is enough to keep whatever demons Wheein is fighting at bay.
It’s frustrating, how utterly helpless she feels. Hyejin doesn’t know how she can help when Wheein is at once the jailer and prisoner, shutting Hyejin out with her silence yet holding on to her like a lifeline.
She shows up anyway, every day without fail, and hopes that somehow it’s enough.
*
Days turn into weeks turn into months. Somewhere along the line, Hyejin comes over to a box of medication on the kitchen counter, a tired shrug from Wheein.
“I hope it works.”
And it must, because slowly Wheein’s smile returns, more frequent, more genuine, until Hyejin has almost forgotten what a day without her laughter sounds like.
They tip the scales in Wheein’s favour, the depression releases its grip. And Wheein gets better, as Hyejin always believed she would.
It’s past midnight by the time credits roll on the movies they’re marathoning. Hyejin plays idly with Wheein’s hair, the girl’s eyes closed and her breathing even against Hyejin’s collarbones.
She’s just about to pull the blanket over them both, resigned to spending another night on the couch, when Wheein stirs and opens her eyes.
“Hyejin-ah. Thank you for staying.”
Hyejin breathes out a laugh, pushing soft hair from Wheein’s eyes. “I didn’t have much of a choice when you fell asleep on me an hour ago.”
Wheein shakes her head, pushes herself up, looks at Hyejin with startling seriousness.
“I mean, thank you for staying with me. Through everything.” She looks down at the blanket, and Hyejin feels something catch in her chest. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“I bet you would’ve. Too bad we’ll never find out.” Hyejin says. Wheein looks at her then, eyes shining with unshed tears, and Hyejin pulls her close before Wheein can see the tears prickling at her own eyes.
“Yah. Don’t cry.”
“I’m not.” Wheein sniffles into her chest, and Hyejin presses soft lips to the top of her head, hoping Wheein can feel how much she means what she says. Words don’t feel like enough.
“You’ll always have me.” She whispers fiercely.
And it’s worth every dark day for the way Wheein smiles at her now, soft and bright and full of hope.