[past]
"And I don't know how to fix it."
Omg omg okay while I can only speak to my own poly experiences, I think this arc is such a good depiction of common pitfalls in poly relationships especially when you're young and/or inexperienced with it and don't necessarily know yet what kind of questions to ask and some of the minutae that might need to be negotiated.
Especially considering that Sae-hee is ace, Zoerumi's sexual relationship seems like it was functionally monogamous. We don't know what agreements were in place but even if there was an agreement that sleeping with other people is okay, introducing new romantic or sexual partners when you've been functionally monogamous for a while is delicate. It seems like Zoey's slightly more aware of that in the future though perhaps not as much as she should be. At the very least, letting your partners know of any change in sti risk needs to be communicated.
Sometimes when you're inexperienced you also think you'll be okay with a thing in theory but you realize it doesn't work for you in practice. If there wasn't an active attempt to conceal her relationship with Richard (more on that below) this could easily be a case of Rumi thinking she'd be okay with Zoey sleeping with others without telling her and realizing that she finds it upsetting and now there needs to be discussion and potential renegotiation. Maybe she'd prefer a heads up where possible, maybe she needs a couple hours to process before seeing Zoey, maybe she needs specific reassurance.
(The smell thing is so real too. I've heard of many dynamics that ask their partners to shower when they come home because their smelling like someone else is uncomfy. Some also need an adjustment period or reconnection ritual when their partners come home after a date before they feel ready to be physically affectionate with their partners.)
Then we add the fact that her partners don't like Richard. Again, a lot of poly relationships don't necessarily impose rules like "you can't sleep with this guy," but if it's been communicated that your partners don't like them, it's fair to assume that it may negatively effect your other relationships if you do. Actively concealing that you're sleeping with someone (regardless of your partners' feelings about that) is at the very least an attempt to avoid potential consequences and could easily be considered cheating depending on the dynamic and the agreements in place.
I also love how Rumi and Zoey's respective people-pleasing and self-worth issues are coming to the fore here. Zoey seems like she has a habit of seeking outside validation. When she's feeling insecure about herself and career she connects with Richard. This also has really interesting implications for her relationship with Mira because although their relationship both in and outside of work is way more constructive, there's still the potential for Zoey to tie her self-worth and relationship to work and feel more pressure to people-please in situations she perceives might affect her career. I'm sure the lack of work she experienced when newly pregnant wirh Myungsoo definitely didn't help things. I get the impression that she feels a sense of validation in spontaneity - that dopamine rush can be powerful and some folks in poly relationships can unknowingly get addicted specifically to the dopamine rush of NRE.
And then we have Rumi who isn't always great at advocating for herself. While she advocated for herself some with the Richard fiasco, Zoey's present-day reminder that Rumi promised to be more forthcoming with her definitely speaks to a habit of conflict avoidance. I think that can be a common issue in all relationship structures because conflict with your partner or spouse is incredibly high-stakes! I feel like Rumi’s avoidance is out of a combination of things. She probably wants to avoid hurting Zoey's feelings out of fear that it'll cause further damage to her sometimes fragile sense of self-worth. I'm sure her own issues make her feel sometimes as if she's not worth the conflict or even perhaps the relationship itself. If she thinks she's lucky to even be in the relationship regardless of how she feels about its terms and/or prioritizes Zoey to a fault because she loves her, she's so much more likely to say things are fine when they aren't.
I think after some growing pains, Mira will help a lot with this! She's pretty forthcoming with her thoughts and feelings and Zoerumi seeing that the relationship doesn't fall apart and in fact often gets stronger when you're honest could be really good for them.
While I love the fun escapism of more canon-compliant Polytrix (jealousy is much less likely when they're all supernaturally fated to each other, insanely hot, and ungodly rich) I've been craving a more grounded and emotionally complex version and this is is hitting the nail on the head for me.
