an inventory of anthony j. crowley’s flat
14 stress plants™ whose dirt has absorbed so much anxiety it would send anyone who touched it to hospital
1 lectern from exact geographical location of angelic rescue, retrieved when no one was looking as bomb sirens were malfunctioning for some reason
1 table that has inspired zero (0) fantasies of being plowed vigorously upon it by any angels at all
1 throne, only incidentally covered in carved winged creatures, which was there when occupant moved in
1 bed, 6000-year-old white feather decoupaged onto headboard at owner’s request
1 pair of Vantablack sheets, obtained without the permission of artist with whom current owner is in bitter longtime dispute
1 television/1 not television, depending on the time of day
1 sculpture depicting recreational masculine sport, for fitness inspiration
0 lights
1 sketch by artist with lustful designs, whose attention needed to be diverted for very important infernal reasons
1 safe containing 1 thermos of holy water, which has remained in safe for 50 years and has never been taken out occasionally and cried over
1 copy of Extremely Big Book of Astronomy, with “Holiday with Angel?” scribbled and then crossed out and then scribbled again five times in margins of section on Alpha Centauri
1 pair of snakeskin Louboutins
5 bags of cat food for Gorgo, the neighborhood cat whose cuddling and purrs are very annoying
1 citrus juicer
you realize this is a list of
demonic possessions
