i live inside my own heart, matt damon @pineapplecrushface - Tumblr Blog

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righthandarm-man

can you remember the name of every person you’ve kissed?

yes, I remember all their names

I could name most of them but there are few I can’t remember

if you put all of them in a room I could put a name to at least half the faces

i’m not confident I could name a quarter of them, let alone half

I can’t remember more than one or two names

I’ve never kissed a soul and want to see the results

Remaining time: 2 days 20 hours

#absolutely not like actually it's not a guarantee that i'll remember i kissed them in the first place #but if i do remember that we kissed i can remember at least the first name of like 75% of them #tumblr polls

estrogenesis-vaporeongelion

why do cherries have to be sexual & strawberries get to be all innocent. why are we slut shaming fruit. what is the sexual valence of a blueberry

#uuuuuuhhhh who the fuck ever said strawberries are innocent #there's no way to eat a strawberry that isn't uncomfortably intimate #sure go ahead and cut it with a knife and fork to try and make it less sexy #uno reverse now it's even hornier you freak

herpsandbirds

Eurasian Hoopoe (Upupa epops), FEED BABBY A TASTY BUG!!!, family Upupidae, order Bucerotiformes, China

photograph by C. Low

#birds!#so beautiful

lilylikeswords

@heatonice I have no self restraint and too much free time. I apologise...

#oh my god #shane hollander #heated rivalry

m4s0ch1st1c-pup

I feel like Ilya with pajamas would go two ways

1) Ilya free balling with nothing protecting his hair or anything, having some bullshit excuse of

"No no Shane, I am Russian, we do not need clothes for sleep. We must be free, like grizzly bear. My curls will survive, I am natural beauty."

2) He is the most high mantinence motherfucker there is

He has a full on, silk, fancy ass sleep set that he wears along with a dramatic as fuck fur or feather robe, a bonnet and an eye mask

"Shane, I must wear it all. I have beautiful curls, beautiful body, I cannot risk not having good sleep. I need beauty sleep or I will grow old and wrinkled like Scott Hunter, I will not be Scott Hunter"

#prev yes i agree #i think ilya is definitely the freeballing no hair product washes with 6-in-1 soap iffy on brushing teeth before bed type #but shane is horrified by ilya not taking care of himself #not (totally) in a judgmental way but because he loves ilya so much and wants only the best for his guy #and ilya's like shane please. i am russian. i would still be beautiful if i slept on cardboard in the rain #but once shane starts taking care of him he's absolutely glowing and preening #because 1. his husband takes SUCH good care of him #2. his skin and hair are fucking fantastic #3. he has had a low-grade headache since he was 16 and now it's gone #4. it turns out he has a real knack for luxury and especially dramatic robes maybe with fur on them #5. a lot of his shane fantasies were about safety and stability and getting horny over pajama sets and now he is in the fantasy!#he gets to have nice things and someday maybe he'll even believe he deserves them!#ilya rozanov #heated rivalry

liartownusa

Spanielson Classics of Literature Collection (2015) The Crucible by Arthur Miller Dracula by Bram Stoker Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë Les Misérables by Victor Hugo The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain The Odyssey by Homer

shirleyjacksons

sounds like ass 🩷 how much do you want to bet carrie won’t purposefully kill anyone in this version

shirleyjacksons

i hate this motherfucker so much oh my god. will this series finally be the wake up call for the horror community to stop sucking his dick

#why can't we allow anyone to be a villain anymore??????#it's always 'actually they weren't doing bad things for terrible reasons! they just had everyone's best interest at heart!'#margaret white is her daughter's first bully #she's a religious fanatic yes but the real issue is that she enjoys abusing her child #why do we need to sanitize that?#'fiercely loves her daughter' okay she can love her and still hurt her! that's one of the tragedies of abusive relationships!#god i hate this type of 'update' that makes everyone into a good person who does good things for good reasons #because god forbid there be nuance or mistakes or just plain complicated human badness

celizyman

WE 👏 ARE 👏 FAMILY!

#the birdcage #AMAZING

yesornopolls

Are you in denial about a characters death to the point you pretend it never happened?

Yes

Remaining time: 6 hours 44 minutes

#eddie kaspbrak #i keep forgetting that actually in canon he is dead #because there are so many options for him not being dead #and fandom got to the point where we were like oh yeah he died but it didn't stick #and we stopped even explaining how because it's just an accepted thing #it chapter 2

fozmeadows

Source

#i was very disappointed not to find out this way #but the news is still good

byjove

I love asking people how their parents met. You always get an interesting reply. My best friend’s parents met on the relatively new internet in 1999. My other friend’s parents met at Burger King when one was the manager and the other was a regular customer. My parents met at the beach because they were neighbors in their rental houses, mom was on a church trip and dad was getting blackout drunk every night with his friends next door.

Tell me how your parents met in the tags.

#they met in corpsman school in the navy #my mother farted really loudly in class and the wooden chair made it even louder #and they both thought it was incredibly funny #et voila #the ✨magic✨

cherrydanish

#me always #arrangements

everybody thinks ilya and shane have diametrically opposite sleep styles: shane is in bed by 10pm and is super intense about his sleep hygiene all year round, and ilya would be completely nocturnal if left to his own devices, and survives on sugar and coffee and naps during the season.

but i would submit, based on some evidence from the show, that ilya is actually one of those people who really need and are inclined to be in bed super early. sure, he'll go out late a lot, but when he's at home, he's asleep, full snork mimimi conked out, by 9pm at the latest. and when he's out, he is OUT. you're getting nothing coherent out of ilya rozanov until he's had his full 8 hours.

shane is the one who has to work to fall asleep. his natural inclination is to stay awake and ruminate and stew in his anxiety, and he maintains his sleep schedule by the skin of his teeth using meditation, melatonin, blackout curtains, and a white noise machine. and he still wakes up frequently. 8 hours in a row is pretty rare for him.

and he really figured ilya was the type of person to be on his phone scrolling for hours, up late making snacks and playing video games and just generally being a night gremlin. instead, the first night they're at the cottage together, ilya starts fading at around 8:30 and eventually shane is like "should we go to bed?" and ilya is like "no no no, i am awake. i heard everything you just said," which is funny because shane didn't say anything. shane was prepared to just throw his sleep schedule out the window for ilya, but instead they're in bed almost before the sun fully sets and ilya is fully, totally asleep before shane has even finished setting up his water bottle and ear plugs, just in case.

but he doesn't need them because being in bed with ilya turns out to be the perfect sleep remedy. shane sleeps better next to ilya than he has his entire life, and not just after he's been fucked through the mattress either. it's totally addicting sliding into bed next to ilya, who is already dead to the world, and getting to wrap his arms around him and listen to his tiny snores and, once in a great while, ilya will wake up just enough to grab shane's arm and pull it tighter around him, or if he's spooning shane, he'll mumble and kiss shane's neck and snuggle closer.

shane is very protective of ilya's sleep, especially after he sees how much he needs it to function. a sleep-deprived ilya gets lethargic and depressed more easily, finds it hard to eat right, and is way more clingy but also grumpy. so shane becomes the guardian of ilya's sleep. any of the team need to talk to cap? it's not an emergency, come back later. yuna has a question about ilya's contract? ask during business hours. ilya's phone is on dnd from 8pm-8am and nobody's getting past it or shane, the human dnd. try to interrupt his baby's rest and you're getting blocked.

and ilya (always kind of embarrassed by the fact that he's an early sleeper and early riser, it's so far removed from his image) loves to have shane take care of him but is also incredibly relieved that he can blame it all on shane's healthy influence. no, rookies, he cannot go clubbing tonight, he is not allowed. is terrible, but you will understand when you are married. meanwhile an hour after they get home ilya's cocooned in their down comforter, moisturized and hydrated and making happy little falling-sleep noises waiting for a goodnight forehead kiss from his husband.

#heated rivalry #ilya rozanov #shane hollander #is this wish fulfillment from a chronic insomniac yes #god i wish that were me #but i also love ilya snoozing away while shane's anxiety planning #and then being like 'what? what is happening? what is nurrative? what is english?' when shane wakes him up #let's be real the main reason he admitted he loves shane is that he was still 80% asleep

the-lisechen

Well, folks, I got canned. Hi! My name is Elise. You may have seen me here… Elise Horn needs your support for Help Elise (and cats!) Su

i hate having to do this, and i SUPER hate having to do this when i did it not too long ago, but here we are. i'm absolutely terrified, though i'm working as hard as i know how to. but there isn't anything i won't do for the cats.

things are pretty dire. please help if you can, even if it's just a reblog.