Manu Singh

Discovering 

[manu9nov]

False Virtue of worshipping Durga

Today I woke up with the same severe headache. My body was paining as I tried to move. Suddenly and expectedly I heard a familiar sharp and angry voice. The voice of my husband, shouting "Durga, are you dead, how shamelessly you're sleeping this late, it's already 5 in the morning, don't you have work to do. And while you do that bring me a cup of tea". An electric current went through my brain on hearing this and I pulled myself up with all my strength while he was still in bed.

Before leaving for work, I had to clean the house, cook food for my family, wash clothes, and also had to help my husband in his work. I asked myself "Does he even remember what has he done to me last night. Was he this drunk?". Anyways I carried on with my work as it was the same story of every other day. Getting beaten up, being verbally and physically abused in front of my kids wasn't something new to me. If I was late from work for even a minute, if the salt is inconsistent in the food, if I take a break for even five minutes from daily chores after coming from work, if I am recuperating are some of the few examples of him getting angry. This is the inception of the violence I face everyday.

One day, one of the co-workers gifted me a pen. A pen which gives electric shocks to whomever it's nib touches when pressed down. She just wanted me to keep this pen, so that I can use it when I feel danger. I was surprised and excited on seeing a pen like this so I kept it with me. The following night, I was experimenting with the pen, testing it out against the iron rod, if it actually works. Suddenly I heard my husband coming in shouting and abusing me for not completing the work he gave me. I also forgot to give him his evening tea which made him even more angry.

He rushed towards me and I tried to hide the pen and in an effort to loose his grip on my hair the pen accidentally touched him. He was pushed away in shock. I was also shocked to see what made him do that. The moment he tried to hurt me again I knew what made him back away, I used the pen on him. He was utterly shocked. He started murmuring to himself, "I am not even drinking alcohol during the Navratras then why I am feeling this pain”. I overheard the conversation he made with himself  and an idea suddenly came to my mind. I build on what he said, “May be the Goddess is unhappy to see you beating a woman during the Navratras and this is her way of punishing you through me."

On hearing this he fell on my feet and was begging for mercy. Then I realized just how monsters like him are afraid of women who are stronger than them. He worships one Durga in the temples and abuse another at home. They praise those who have the strength and suppress those who are meek and weak. This whole game is of the possession of supreme power and I learned a valuable lesson of my life and a way to teach my husband a lesson too.

[manu9nov]

“We will enjoy but on one condition”

My first Enriche workshop with the new batch of the international Solar Mamas from Myanmar, Afghanistan and Madagascar. I experienced a deja vu, post which I was left with so many questions and doubts. I am sure they will be answered gradually with time.

Towards the end of the workshop, in an effort to relax and lighten the mood of all the trainees I played some traditional music of their respective country of origin of the mamas. It was a time for them solely to enjoy and be in the moment. Music spreading joy where in they can grow close to each other and start opening up as a step to motivate each other. Everyone reciprocated happily but there was a dark cloud of uneasiness radiating from the trainees from Afganisthan. The idea of dancing without a care in the world was sounding exciting to them but something was holding them back Or maybe shying away from the whole idea of dancing in front of so many new faces was too much for them to adapt to. They must have never danced in such an open yet non-judgmental environment. The preconceived notion of women not being able to dance and that its not elegant for a woman to dance was keeping them from being whom they really are.

Seeing the other trainees enjoying and being themselves, the idea of them(afghani trainees) dancing seemed very harmless . The Afgani trainees decided to dance but it came with a condition. The condition which stated was “We will dance but we do not want anyone to make a video or click pictures of us dancing”. I agreed to their special request, since it was more important for me to see them enjoying with the rest of the lot. I motivated the mamas by telling them that the six months they have at hand are for them to grow, enjoy and learn as much as they can. On hearing this I could sense the electricity of excitement buzzing  in the room and they joined with the rest to stay true to their true identity. Most of these trainees from Afghanistan unfortunately were widowed due to the war, and are struggling/working hard to feed their children all by themselves.

After listening to their condition my mind was flooded with many thoughts. Are they afraid of being judged or humiliated if anyone in Afghanistan would get to know about this small act of freedom? Or was it the shackles of the religion which were holding them back? Or was it that they themselves couldn’t think of dancing as they never thought they could? Or was there an underlying fear creeping up in their mortal hearts? Foundation of any system like patriarchy or religion depends on the depth of fear. So many questions unanswered but I’m optimistic that we will figure everything out slowly, fingers crossed.

One peculiar enthusiastic group had varied levels of participation. There were two to three mamas who came forward and started dancing, three from the group were watching them dance and were responding to their efforts by applauding them as a means to raise their morale and two of them were sitting and watching them with a straight face. I could sense that they were somewhere in middle of the confusion. They were neither enjoying completely nor opposing. I saw  one trainee who was not at all enjoying this. She wasn’t even watching other women dance. My first impressions was that she looked angry or as if someone had done something which was ethically wrong  in her sight. But then I could sense that it was her all along who was making it tough for herself and it had nothing to do with the other women. I don’t know how to describe the scene in words but she didn’t want to be a part of it. I tried to talk to her but couldn’t, because of the language barrier. After this she left the room and came back when the music was over. She was’t upset or anything, on the flip side she was cheerfully talking to everyone.

At the end of the day I am only excited to see how she will mould herself during these six months of training. I can see how they don’t even realize what patriarchy have done to them. Left with few hopes and questions, Will she be ever be brave and confident to adapt to this new environment and learning set-up? Will she leave her burdens in her closed shell and come out to enjoy truly? Will she embrace herself as a free women?

Even if they will be able to enjoy themselves truly and openly, it will make a difference. It will be their first step towards breaking the gender norms. It will be a head up against the tide of the patriarchy system which tries them to hold down in the name of religion.

[manu9nov]

Success Story

She is from a last mile village in Madhya Pradesh and came for six months training at Barefoot College, Rajasthan. It must have been one of the very few visits outside her village/state.

I remember her sitting clueless in my workshop when she first came in. She was lost, as if she is on a land full of aliens where in everyone is talking about something she had never heard of in her entire life. They were talking about Women Health, Women Rights, Women Empowerment, Gender, Women Entrepreneurship etc. At the back of her mind she must be thinking “Why are they expecting a lot from women who are like us. Someone who was less fortunate to have been introduced to any kind of formal education.” She was very shy and you could easily sense that she is not getting a word you’re saying. 

I remember when I was asking the trainees to draw their Self-Aspirations as an individual being. She said to me with a very innocent face “Didi I cannot understand what you want us to draw, what aspirations are you talking about. We are women and we are supposed to do the house hold chores and take care of our family. We don’t send our girls to school but instead we teach them to do household chores because they will be going to the Paraya Ghar soon (In-Law’s House).” I wasn’t surprised on hearing this, because me being from the same kind of rural society I knew how women are taught to follow gender roles strictly to an extend that they forget their own identity or aspirations. And if they even dare to think/dream about their aspiration or to live their lives freely then the Patriarchal Society portrays them as a “Characterless Woman”. 

The second time, I was introducing the trainees to the Human Rights. And this same beautiful lady asked me, again innocently “ What is Adhikar (Rights)”. It was very tough for her to understand let alone digest the concept of Rights and then Human Rights. She was thinking, how come they have these many rights?? Because she had always seen people around her either snatching the property or oppression of the poor and weak by people who are superior to them.

These are the only two incidents which I am sharing at the moment to shed light on the level of exclusion of women from various rural parts of India. The irony is that they themselves are unaware of this reality. The staunch belief or taboo that only the Men can do the work outside of home and are able to understand and are equipped to make decisions or anything related to education lingers in various parts of rural India. 

But the silver lining was when I saw changes in the same woman during her six months stay at Barefoot College while receiving Enriche Training. 

She was staying with other Indian trainees from different states and different age groups. Her regular company were two young girls from Ladakh in their early 20s. She started living as the best example of “Age is just a number, as long as you have a young heart”. 

I saw her changing to a level that she started participating actively in the workshops. 

She started asking questions to clear her doubts and also started sharing her opinions with her peers.

She used to take a lot of time to understand something which was a bit difficult but now she was grasping quickly what she lessened. We went to visit a post office to understand the importance of saving accounts and she was the only one who bombarded the manager with so many questions without a hint hesitation. She was Determined to open a bank account. There was a period in her evolution when she was clueless in the workshops and then there was one contrasting wherein she was the most active lady which led to her great transformation. I Saw her laughing at the jokes of her company of the two young girls and also saw her listening carefully to the other participants in their mid age sharing their life struggles. 

For me she was a “Rocking Nani”. Nani is a term used for a maternal grandma. When she realized her potential she did’t let the chance go where she could learn. I will not say all of this happened because of our workshops but peer to peer learning played a major role in it. I am also not saying that she is so transformed that she will change the way of her living in her community but I am sure that a seed has been sowed and she will definitely start thinking critically whenever something goes wrong around her. And I call this “A success story”.

#EnhancingChange 

-Manu

[manu9nov]

Life of a Rose Plant

“Only a few people will admire a natural growing rose plant in their verandah.

When its small and beautiful

When its taking small space

When its thorns are soft

When it has just start blooming

Everyone is proud about it

But

When it starts taking much space

When it starts blooming in its own way

When it starts to explore

When there are thorns equally as flowers

And finally one fine day when it hurts or attract someone

Is the last day of the freedom

It will cut down to be in the limits

It will be cut down to keep the dignity of the garden

It will be cut down to show the ‘art of controlling’

It will be cut down with no thorns or flowers on it

And it will be cut down again n again

It does not need anyone

With or without you, it will bloom.

With thorns and flower, it will bloom.

It does not need your verandah.

You need it.”

- Manu

[manu9nov]

"Life is an illusion, You are an illusionist. There is something else inside, What you're showing is for outside." -Manu

[manu9nov]

#writing #whatcomestomind #somethingfromtoday

[manu9nov]

So here again, with another wonderful story of an amazing person ! I always feel so proud of them, they have this strength of accepting themselves the way they are, first. And second they come out to the society . Hats off to them 😍😘

[manu9nov]

A life without Love is a waste A life without spreading love is of no use Being there but being not Being happy but being not Someone may know you better than you do You can also be wrong at times Disappearance from this world May be good for others Happy life, happy others -Manu

[manu9nov]

Don’t stop, work harder They are not identifying you, No worries, you know who you are Keep moving and stay focused. You may not getting enough you deserve, Don’t cry and stand tall Something really good is waiting for you. Have faith.

-Manu

[manu9nov]

Free but trapped Happy but sad Contented but empty Lost but found Helpless but potent A place with peace with no one but positivity. -Manu

[manu9nov]

THIS IS HER SIDE !

He cried,

He cried that loud, that nobody was able to hear him.

she has gone.

She left him alone,

Alone & restless.

He broke,

He broke himself 

but nobody was able to see.

She took,

She took his aliveness with herself.

His faith is high,

His faith is high in love.

But he is afraid, he is afraid to attached now.

She tried a lot,

Tried a lot to stay.

But she need to left, and she left him alone.

He thought, he is alone...

He thought, she has gone..

But

She is watching him,

Watching him all the time,

Somewhere from top, up in the sky.