It’s frustrating, this endo of mine. But it’s here and it’s real and it’s in my body, whether I like it or not. . . On Monday, I felt like I could take on the world. I ran. I danced - not, not metaphorically. I literally ran, literally danced. I was living my best life despite endometriosis lurking in the shadows; a speck in the corner of my eye, a fallen eyelash causing me to blink rapidly for a moment, but not stop. . . And then Tuesday hits like a ton of bricks. I’m upright, sure, but my left pelvis is screaming at me every time I lift my leg, bend over, stand for longer than a moment. But sitting? Sitting sends knives into my abdomen, my bottom, my spine. So I take my walking stick, folded up, out of my car and wrangle it together with a sigh that’s not defeated, but recognises my body is starting to retreat. I stand, still; but I am flagging, flagging. . . The pain I feel today is less of a surprise, but it is here nonetheless. It’s pain which laughs at paracetamol and naproxen. It eyes codeine and tramadol as irritants to its quest, nothing more: it bats them away, unhurried, unrelenting. It knows morphine is it’s only worthy opponent, but it knows i don’t have any. And so I lie in bed, screaming into a void that doesn’t care, and hope tomorrow will be better, as claws ravage my insides, tear me apart; that leave me gasping and sweaty and, for a moment, lost. But still my mind whispers, a single, battered shelter in the raging hurricane: “Get up, get up, there are worlds to conquer.” . . So I get up. . . #endometriosis #endo #endometriosisawareness #endowarrior #endometriosiswarrior #fightlikeagirl #strongwomen #chronicillness #chronicpain https://www.instagram.com/p/B75jiSxhYFT9nW-qwNLI9ioBunVFynq5949GYc0/?igshid=dcx76lyyylo4
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