saying that a sexuality is valid means nothing tbh. validity isn’t what makes a sexuality “right” or “okay”.
we need to, instead, think critically about why new sexualities are popping up. instead of seeking for validity, ask yourself, does my sexuality fit under the definition of another existing sexuality? it’s almost impossible to negatively respond to that. furthermore, if you do fit under another sexuality, ask yourself, why do i need a special sexuality just for myself?
the sexualities in the LGBT community are lesbian, gay, and bi, with the added identity of trans. there is no need for microlabels–because the LGBT community exists as a way to push back against oppression and as a place for support, not as a cool kids club. microlabels, and using LGBT as “umbrella” terms, divides the community. it puts each other at odds because inevitably, most of those microlabels are incredibly harmful. some are even inherently harmful because of their lesbophobic, homophobic, biphobic, and transphobic roots. these chasms between members of the community make it so much easier for oppression to seep in, and for real activism to never happen. you can’t change the world outside the community if there are people inside the community that are tearing it apart–whether they’re doing it actively, or whether it’s just a byproduct of their embracing of microlabels.
lesbians, gay men, bis, and trans people are not a hivemind. they are all independent people with independent thoughts and actions and experiences. just because you don’t fit with tumblr’s “aesthetic” of one of these does not mean you’re a different sexuality altogether. it just means that you are different than the stereotype. which, honestly, is good. refusing to engage in stereotypes, refuting stereotypes, and being your own person is good, especially because many of those stereotypes exist as a result of negative outside influences.
so instead of thinking of sexualities in terms of validity, please try to ask yourself other questions such as: why am i so attached to a (probably harmful) microlabel? what stereotypes do i believe that are causing me to try to distance myself from an “umbrella” term? are there prejudices, even internalized ones, that are preventing me from using an “umbrella” term? is my microlabel more important than the community’s ability to band together to fight oppression? is my microlabel more important than the “umbrella” terms that are beginning to be destroyed because of those microlabels? how much help is my microlabel lending to the LGBT community? how much harm is it causing?
saying that a microlabel is valid means nothing. it helps no one, and after so many years of blind inclusion, is now actively harming many, many people. there’s nothing shameful in setting aside a microlabel to join the community in full. in fact, we’re here to welcome you in with open arms. we’re a community, and the more we band together into one cohesive unit, the more good we will be able to accomplish.
don’t let validity get in the way of LGBT rights. stand beside us–don’t make us fight a war on two fronts, please.
