Miss Marcy Raven

Intersex Hopi Woman | Demisexual | Professional Creep Blocker. I’ve been in subcultures since before the internet had pictures. I don't sell my art, and I don't buy your nonsense. Check the pinned post before you embarrass yourself in my DMs. 💀

[marcelinesghost13]

[marcelinesghost13]

[marcelinesghost13]

Ha'u Blog

It's been a while since I wrote a blog and a lot has happened. Let's start off with my FFS surgery appointment. So I went to go see a Surgeon to get FFS around early May. Him and his took full body and Skull X-rays and scans. Then I talked to the Surgeon after that was all done and he told me that he can't do FFS surgeon on me because my Skull and Skeleton is female. He could give me a face left but that's about it. As for bottom surgery he won't even touch it because my intersex pluming is very complicated and his never seen anything like that before. So basically I'm not crazy like my family told me like I was. I am genetically and biological mostly female with like 10% male. Which makes this gurl very happy to know. I have spent my whole life knowing I'm a woman and the UNMH and my surgeon has confirmed it.

I had a birthday it was okay nothing too big. My girlfriend made me dinner and a birthday cake it was quiet and nice.

I'm still looking for a job. I've been looking for over a year in my girlfriend's home town but nope nothing yet. So I've been put in job application in my home town 60 miles away. I so need a job I'm tired of living at my girlfriend's parents house. Her mother is a bitch. She loves playing head games with everyone in the house. She won't say it but I know she hates me because I don't give a fuck about her head games.

So my Mother (OMFG) wants me to move to Hawaii and live in her small apartment in the back of her house. I gave in and told her I would. Just because I need to get away from my girlfriend's mother. TBH I don't want to move there and I don't have a choice. The only thing I can hope for is getting a job that pays well in a couple months so I can get an apartment in my hometown. That's my hope and dream. I don't want to leave my Sister, GF and good friend.

I've been putting in Job applications like a mad woman. I've been dropping almost 10 a day. I so need a good job. For I can stay in my hometown.

So that's some of the BS going on in my life. There's other stuff but that for my therapist to hear not the Interwebs.

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[marcelinesghost13]

[marcelinesghost13]

[marcelinesghost13]

[marcelinesghost13]

[marcelinesghost13]

[marcelinesghost13]

[mirkokosmos]

[marcelinesghost13]

[marcelinesghost13]

[marcelinesghost13]

[marcelinesghost13]

[marcelinesghost13]

[marcelinesghost13]

Ha'u Blog

It has been a very long time since I wrote a blog. The question is where do I start.

We'll start with family. As far as my family goes my mother and kiddo have decided to let me know that they are going to continuously see me as a woman that is trans. They also see me as an individual that has given up and is unwilling to work and basically is trying to live off the system. Both conclusions are absolutely obscene and ridiculous. Mainly because both are them unwilling to see the medical conditions. I have cptsd, narcolepsy, social anxiety disorder, odd also known as optional defiance disorder, depression, mixed in with a little ADHD. That's not including the fact that I was abused since I was a child and now I am actually taking a step back and trying to have an understanding of who the fuck I am. I have spent my entire life since I was 16 years old working my ass off for the fucking man. Which my family being my mother and kiddo and also let's not forget my horrible ex-wife that did all the abusing my mom did hers also by the way. Never allowed me to be myself. Yes I'm going to therapy once a week. Which does help have me understand who I am. So I have no plans on honestly really having any contact with them unless it's absolutely necessary. Because I'm unwilling to tolerate their gas lighting and bullying anymore.

As far as my home situation goes... LoL it absolutely sucks. I cannot stand my girlfriend's mother in any way whatsoever she is the most narcissistic woman I've ever met. She acts like a child and has a horrible gambling problem. She has his tendency to talk to people as if they are stupid and she is the smartest woman in the world. When she can't even figure out how to print something from her own fucking computer. When she gets into her little mood shall we call it that puts my girlfriend into a tailspin and she goes into a very deep depression which basically blocks me from having any ability whatsoever to make her feel better. I'll get into my girlfriend in a minute cuz there's more than just that. So I have made the conscious decision to get on disability and hopefully get on the section 8 list in order to get my own place. I don't care if it's in Santa Fe or Albuquerque as long as it's a way from my girlfriend's mom. By the way her dad is a sweetheart and a very nice man I feel absolutely horrible about the way that woman treats her husband.

My girlfriend as many of you know is transgender. She's a very sweet very kind and intelligent woman and highly neurodivergent. Unfortunately she does have the inability to understand things that she doesn't know about. Plus she lacks the ability to actually stand up for herself. Strength or should I say inner strength is definitely not something that she has unfortunately. During during certain situations that requires strengths that is definitely not there. But through my observation of meeting a number of her trans friends they all seem to lack of the ability to have inner strength and push their way through difficult situation. Very much rather live with the interfere that plagues them instead of growing evolving and becoming stronger people. I'm not saying it's a downside it's mainly just an observation. Everyone is welcome to have their own personality and Outlook through life. I understand that some individuals are eternally weak and lack the knowledge and tools to have the ability to become a strong person that is willing to push back against negativity and fear.

As I said before earlier in this post I am working with a disability lawyer in order to get on disability. Once on disability and having my own place. I plan on focusing a great majority of my time and effort on going back to school in order to get my Masters degree in psychology. I currently cannot do that at this present time due to you the chaos in the environment that I live in. I understand that it will probably more than likely take me four to five years in order to get my Master's degree but I believe if I really push myself hard enough and use all the tools that I have I will hopefully advance through classes a little bit faster than average. I am definitely working through my narcolepsy which is type a so it is emotionally driven thanks to the cptsd which causes my brain to basically Short circuit. The short circuit of my brain is a safety mechanism which activates the narcolepsy it's a wonderful little circle. I also am supposed to see a surgeon in early May in order to deal with my jaw slipping and causing my windpipe to close while I sleep. If the surgeon has the ability to perform some form of ffs that's just a plus for me but I'm not 100% sure that the surgeon does that kind of thing. I understand if individuals read this blog it sounds like I'm being a asshole or a bitch I get that perspective. The thing that you need to understand is I have never been a day of my life taking care of myself and that is something that I need to do at this time and moment in my life and unfortunately if some people that are in my life now go away in order for me to better myself than that is just something that I will sadly unfortunately have to accept.

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[marcelinesghost13]