im marcy (trust)

ello im lurking around the animation corner cus I loaf it dont mind me being autistic all over the place

[marcywoo]

[marcywoo]

Finally finished this !!

Did this amphibia fanart for a school project tehe

This is an a3 mixed media (acrylic, watercolour, pencil) painting

[marcywoo]

So I've been writing this amphibia essay/analysis/retrospective/glaze and I've got up to the beginning of reunion but I'm loosing faith in myself in being able to cover the entire show and give meaningful points so if anyone wants to read a 10k essay please message me and tell me what you think. I would really appreciate it. :]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/19fhNMuJOb4rSnCXbOZRYdko_k1KP0ULX/edit?usp=drivesdk&ouid=112700480207464589533&rtpof=true&sd=true

Essay ^

[marcywoo]

My first ever fanfic

So im really obsessed with marcy so im writing a fanfic abt her !!

The fanfic is about her having to move and realising a remnant of darcy is still with her

The redesigns wont make sense quite yet as she looks normal at the beginning but I wanted to share them anyways

It would mean sm to me if u read it its only a chapter for now but I promise to regularly update :]

Post-Possession Symptoms - Chapter 1 - nidf - Amphibia (Cartoon) \[Archive of Our Own\] https://share.google/g8FITfqconYiQ5KA7

[marcywoo]

[marcywoo]

[marcywoo]

Painting sketche

This is a3

[marcywoo]

I've been thinking I have bpd for a long while now, I've done my research and all, but I don't wanna self diagnose bc of all the bad stereotypes of ppl who self diagnose and also bc im a minor and even thi I've experienced these things for years consistently ik I wouldn't be taken srsly

my problem is that if im right, we'll having this favourite person is ruining my life

I'm so codependent on her and I try to spend as much time with her as I can and I also act really clingy which isn't that bad but she has other friends too

also I've hated every single one of her other friends at first and had to hide it to not seem like a bish bc im scared they're gonna take her away from me, before actually getting to know them

if someone makes friendly banter w her i will perceive it as an attack to her and get really mad at that person and crash out at them which is weird I just cant stop

I have had horrible mental breakdowns bc of being paranoid she doesn't care about me and read into everything she says and convince myself that she doesn't like me which will make me want to confront her but then ik that'll make her feel guilty and then I'd feel like a horrible person so I kinda just let the paranoia eat at me

if she is sad I could be having the greatest day ever and it would all be ruined bc my mood and stability depends on her and if she's not happy then I start panicking which only makes things worse bc I don't want to make her feel like she has to hide her emotions from me bc i wanna be a good friend she feels comfortable at the same time but at the same time i hate her for making me feel thus way even if it isnt her fault

I will constantly idolise her which gets weird real fast even she says it makes her uncomfortable

one time I couldn't see her for one week and i was going so insane that I started sending her drawings as "offerings" (yes I literally called them that) and on the one day I didn't have time to make one i felt really guilty and was like im sorry which made her really confused (and she also found the fact that I called them offerings super weird even tho i didn't realise that while I was doing it)

then I was lowkey rly disheartened bc i felt like she didn't appreciate them

anyways I keep on getting really mad bc ik she doesn't care about me the same way I care about her but then I also feel like im not worthy of being cared for to this extreme and then I also keep on conving myself that being this obsessed is good bc she deserves it but I hate it at the same time and I cant say anything bc i would feel too guilty

if her tone is slightly off with me but then not off when talking about someone else I will agonise over that the entire day

I think about her 24/7 and dream about her almost every night and have nightmares about her hating me

once I got mad at her bc of stuff she told me in a nightmare bc i felt like she stopped caring and that was awkward

I keep feeling like she doesn't care so then I either make her a drawing (one time I drew her as a goddess and that drawing took me hourss) so that she'll notice me and then she'll say she likes the drawing which will make me feel reassured or I subconsciously amp up the clinginess which doesn't end as well

and I never realised how obsessive I've been acting until the entire friend group started calling me out for it (they also called me a crazy yandere </3)

oh yeah forgot to mention that when I hated all of her other friends i woukd fantasise about getting them out of the picture just so me and her can spend all our time together like we used to and even now I sometimes do

I wish I could just spend every second if every day with her without worrying abt all of this

oh and I also try to be excessively nice abd helpful bc i feel like if she truly knew how i felt she'd hate me (she already says the idolising makes her uncomfortable and if she knew the rest then she would leave me for sure)

its annoying bc she used to find it sweet but now she's concerned and i hate that like stop being concerned bc how else am I supposed to show my care for you ughhh

the problem is that she lowkey is going through stuff and bc of the codependency I feel that despair too and im scared of making it all about myself and I get that she needs space but how do I giver her space and what if she'll forget how much I care if I do and then she wont like me anymore

and ik its selfish bc she's going through stuff and all im worried about is how that impacts me but I try to be empathetic and remind her that she can talk to me even tho ik i cant handle that but I need to seem like a nice person who she can talk to so that im a good friend but she's not talking to me so then I cant do anything to help and I lowkey fear that im pushing her away by being so close im loosing my mind hahaha I could talk more but im tired of typing this is so much-

I mean no offence with this post whatsoever and im sorry if it comes off as offensive that was not my intention

[marcywoo]

HANDMADE HOMURA COSPLAY

I am now an obsessive and mentally ill yandere !!

Oh wait-

[marcywoo]

I have a really unhealthy attachment to someone and idk what this could mean

Implications of suicide

So I have this friend who is pretty much the only person I vent to and feel truly safe around. I'm literally too attached to this person, like I would die if they didn't want to be friends with me anymore. I think about her all the time she even haunts me in my dreams sometimes she is the best person Everything was fine until she started relapsing and I'm scared. I'm scared that she might be gone and idk what to do. Every time she vents on the gc I get so scared bc if she goes I go and I just want security and I can't find it anymore. Back when we first became friends she would hang out with me every day all the time and it was just us against the world and I was happy. Now she became friends with some other people which I, after a long period of hating them due to feeling like she liked them more than me and ruining our beautiful time soent together, became friends with too. Despite that at times I still hate them and wish it was just us. I would give them up for her. And its so annoying because ever since then it has started to feel like she cares less and less even though she says she doesn't. Like every conversation every word used to be meaningful but now it feels like nothing happens now woth all these people. She also seems likes she's more distant now and I cant handle this. Seeing her sad makes me sad. I miss her all the time I miss her ever when she's there. But it is clear she doesn't care as much about me as I do for her and thinking about that fact makes me hate her. She doesn't seem like its such a big deal when we cant see each other. Whenever I'm sick I'm sad that I don't see her but she says its no big deal but it is it feels like we barely see each other anyways so we can't see each other even less. Lately she seems less interested in the friendship. We barely text and we don't even text for hours like we used too and it makes me angry but also I cant be angry at her she's too perfect. Sometimes I think such selfish things and I get so mad for no reason bc she's going through stuff or bc she's having fun with others and I hide it but its killing me on the inside. I feel so selfish for these thoughts but I just want us to be together forever (in a very platonic manner). I cry over these thoughts and she probably doesn't care. She doesn't care about me like she used to. I used to be the most important, or so I think I was, but now I'm not but she still is mine and that hurts.

She knows how i get paranoid but she sometimes does things that trigger that and i cant tell her in fear it'll drive her away and she's the only person I vent to and I cant vent to anyone abt this but she does know that my attachment is unhealthy but doesn't really do anything about it and just treats me like a normal person despite everything. Once I confronted her bc I was in deep delusions that she hated me and it seemed to rly upset her so I cant do that again bc if she's sad im sad and I just feel guilty and selfish for these emotions.

[marcywoo]

ALEXANDRA TREBUIA SĂ CÂȘTIGĂ

Am făcut o animație măcar

[marcywoo]

I made it

[marcywoo]

As marcy's biggest defender I want to ramble about why I love her so freaking much.

First of all, the fact that she was introduced in season 2 works because it builds up suspense for how she'll be like and leads the audience to expect someone really evil due to how sasha was and the effect this friendship had on anne only to subvert everyone's expectations and make her be the most adorable nerd. Also matt bradly said in an interview that he chose to introduce her later because it was his first time showrunning and introducing all 3 girls would've been too much for him. Now time to rant about her as a character!!!>>>

Marcy is introduced in marcy at the gates and her initial appearance already tells us so much about her. We see how nerdy she is and how she likes to infodump. We also can see how anne doesn't know what shes even yapping about because both anne and sasha have been neglecting her interests. But other than that we also get to see how she views this whole thing as a game. She sees the planters as the "found family trope" instead of actual people. To her, this entire adventure is just fiction. We see this throughout the season. Like how she saw the temples as a fun adventure and was way more focused on living out this "RPG" rather than getting home (eg. Her wanting anne to get the armour so she can look "the part"). Honestly I find marcy's outlook on this whole thing really interesting considering what happens but we'll talk about that more later. Anyways, we get to learn about her struggles with socialising, which explain why she depends on amne and sasha so much. Like, she finds it so hard to make friends that she'll do anything to be able to stay with these two people who are actually willing to tolerate her, even if they don't care about her interests enough at least they stay. We can also see her dependency on anne and sasha through the way she clings onto this friendship when anne and sasha argue. She immediately feels threatened by this conflict and wants them to just calm down and be friends even though anne and sasha clearly need to work through their feelings and simply "calming down" wouldn't work. But she needs them to be friends because she couldn't stand to be in a world where she was alone. What marcy wants is to live out in this ideal world where everything can be perfect, but sadly we all know things don't work out well for her. Marcy definitely has some sort of attachment issues (which like me too i feel her) and escapism problems but ironically the way she tries to keep this friendship together is what almost ruins it.

Time to talk about the dreaded episode (srsly, I cant explain the emotions that True Colours makes me feel, matt when I catch you-)

Okayyy

The episode starts off with marcy talking to anne and saying "almost makes you wish it could last forever" which foreshadows the reveal and also oh my marcy you DO NOT wish that *cries in flaming sword* anyways we already know what happens with anne and sasha and we can see marcy's reality start to crack until it completely shatters when andrias reveals himself as the plot twist villain. And then he reveals the truth (that entire scene broke me). So we can see how marcy immediately starts making up excuses for her actions and how she finally has to deal with reality now that her illusion is shattered. Marcy can't cope with this and we see it through her breakdown as she finally sees things through anne and sasha's perspective. To marcy, this friendship is the most important thing to her, so her taking these drastic measures seems justifiable. She was blinded by her attachment to her friends to see how wrong this is. Marcy already felt kind of isolated in this friendship and I'm sure it really bothered her but she still clung onto it for dear life. But the actions she took to "save" this friendship ruined it as well. Not just the reveal but the fact that being sent to amphibia was what led anne and sasha to grow apart and change so much that when they reunited anne was able too see the toxicity of this friendship which led to them constantly clashing and stuff. But as soon as marcy realises what she did wrong, she immediately tries to make up for it. She saves sprig and starts fighting in hope to fix this mess. And then she does something that she wouldn't have wanted to do in any other circumstances... marcy's journal spoilers incoming, skip the brackets if you dont want to be spoiled. [Marcy wrote that she knew how to open the box to earth before true colours but clearly said that that is the last place she'd wanna go to because she couldn't deal with being seperated from her friends and was ready to explore new worlds. But drastic times require drastic measures so she ultimately decided to put her desiers away and open the earth portal.] And then she gets stabbed *cries*. This was still important narrativelywise because it is marcy receiving the consequences of her actions, and I'll talk about that more later. But this story wasn't going to let her get away with what she did so I guess temporary death is the consequence. Also can we take a second to acknowledge how heartbreaking marcy's death is. Like marcy did all of this to ensure that she and her friends will be together only for her in the end to be technically alone. She died thinking that her friends didn't forgive her and that there was nothing she could do to fix her mistakes. She dies alone.

Time to talk about darcy (and why they work as a concept, character, and method to give marcy her well needed character development)! Okay so the core has sort of been foreshadowed in season 2 but didn't play a big role until now. So in Olivia and yunnan marcy gets possessed by the core, and through what I consider to be the best used possession, we get darcy. Darcy works as a villain because of how terrifying they honestly are, like, matt took one of the cutest and nicest characters and turned them into THIS. Also their design is very effective, the blacks with the contrasting orange eyes look so good. But enough of glazing darcy because we need to mention somewhere else. The irony of marcy's fate is that in the beginning, marcy got seemingly the best deal in amphibia. Her landing in the safe and welcoming capital, immediately befriending the king, easily becoming a ranger, things we're in her favour and she was getting what she wanted. She lived in the perfect RPG adventure! While anne and sasha were struggling to survive, marcy was thriving. But now, marcy literally has it worse than both of them. While anne is safe on earth and sasha is safe enough in wartwood, marcy doesn't even get a moment of peace after getting stabbed as she is immediately used to be the core's host. Okay that's enough about that... time to talk about the character development this situation offered her! After so long, we get to finally see what happened to marcy in All in. We first see her in a room solving puzzles, in which she has been trapped in all of this time (honestly are room full of puzzles would trick me too) until aldrich makes the perfect fantasy in hope to fool her and get her to stay in the core. At first, this was everything marcy wished for! Her friends would listen to her interests for once and she could go on amazing adventures with them for the rest of eternity... but it wasn't real. And then she had to choose between this false fantasy or the grim reality. This choice really shows how much she grew because post true colours marcy would've taken the fantasy in a heartbeat. But this time, knowing the consequences of forcing her selfish desiers, she picks the harder yet more mature answer, facing reality. Now all she can do is place her trust in her friends and wait for them to save her. Once darcy is defeated, the 3 friends are reunited once more, but now all of them have matured and worked through the flaws the had previously. But despite everything, they still care for each other. The only thing I can now mention about her development is something from marcy's journal, once again spoilers in the brackets. [In her entry after saving amphibia and getting her journal back she writes about choosing to live in the moment in her last night in amphibia instead of geeking out over the lore and everything that happened. She also looks back on her actions and sees how immature all of this was, which is kind of sad because these immature actions led to this beautiful story so many people hold dear to their hearts, but marcy truly understand her faults in proof of how much she grew even though the circumstances of this development weren't ideal.]

Okay! That's all I can say about marcy as a character.

.. now time for me to talk about how she is VERY important to the story. Because for me, amphibia would be so significantly worse without her. The calamity trio toxic friendship goes 3 ways. Anne being a pushover because of her low self esteem due to her friends' talents (marcy's academic smarts abd sasha's street smarts) and feeling like she was inferior. Sasha's need for control and power and needing to have people to command so she can feel like she has control in her life. And marcy's unhealthy attachment because she feels like an outcast due to her nerdiness (and possibly autism). They each contribute to each other's problems without realising it but still needing this friendship. And marcy taking the drastic measures to keep this friendship and send them to amphibia wasn't a product of just her selfishness but instead how the toxicity of this friendship impacted her to drive her to a point in which she would do something like this. And marcy also contributes to the show's themes of change. Marcy learning to let go, face reality and accept change, even though she knows it'll be hard is probably the best way this show emphasises that change is necessary despite the hardships. Mandatory marcy's journal mention, you already know the drill... [Marcy wrotes about her feeling less attached to her friends after moving, not in a way that she doesn't care about them, but more in a healthy way. She does love her friends but now she isn't obsessed with preserving this friendship at all costs as she used to. She worked through her attachment issues and can just care for people the normal amount.] Okay and I would say that's it. (im hyperfixating okay).