There are so many things I thought I would still have time to say to you. Life has a quiet way of convincing us that tomorrow will always come. That there will always by another phone call, another visit, another chance to make things right. Until suddenly, there isn't.
The sad reality is that sometimes tomorrow comes without the people we love. And today, that's exactly where I find myself - learning how to navigate a world where you no longer exist.
You were my only sibling, my big brother, my Abuti Thabang. Like many siblings, our relationship had its seasons. There were times when we were close, and times when life placed distance between us. There were things we carried that we didn't always know how to say each other. But none of that ever changed one simple truth: you were my brother, and I loved you.
I saw your struggles. I saw how life sometimes felt heavier for you than it should have been. I saw how hard you tried to carry things that many people never fully understood. But I also saw the man behind those struggles. I saw your warmth, your humour, and the goodness in your heart. I saw a present father who cared deeply for his children, a loving husband, a respectful son, and a protective brother and uncle who always showed up for the people he loved.
There was so much more to you. You were never just the difficult chapters of your life. I saw your heart.
You lived up to your name in so many ways. There was a happiness in your spirit that people felt when they were around you. When I think of you now, the memories that come back are joyful ones. Your laughter filling a room. Your love for music. The way you would sing and dance as if the world was lighter than it really was.
Some of my most precious memories are of the two of us singing along to songs we both loved, as if nothing else existed in that moment. Those songs will comfort me differently now, because every note will remind me of you.
I hope you are finally at peace, free from the weight that life sometimes placed on your shoulders. And wherever you are, I hope there is music. Because if there is music, I know you are singing. And if you are singing, then I know you are happy.
I will carry you in my heart for the rest of my days. Thank you for being my big brother.
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