happy little pill

||marietta lopez, smol and queer|| qué haría yo sin lo absurdo y lo fugaz

[marietta-lopez]

When The Seasons Change | Lexi&Mari [April Fools]

Lexi: felt bad that Marietta was taking all the blame for this little bump in their relationship. Lexi had the worst hours for her job, when Marietta is home, she's at work. She also hasn't made the first move to talk, mainly because she didn't want to fuck anything up. She wanted to keep this relationship and she's still learning, but she knows that she loves Marietta and to her that's all that matters. Alexandra shook her head as she listened to Mari. "No, I can't. How would I be able to live knowing that I don't have my other half?" She squeezed the girl's hand. "I don't care what we go through, or what the world may throw at us, but... you're my person, Marietta. It would be nearly impossible for me to just... move on." She could tell that Marietta was unsure of the whole situation, and honestly so was Lexi. She was unsure if the girl still wanted to even be in a relationship. She hoped and prayed that she did. She let out a sigh of relief, hearing her speak. "I'll always want you here. We can work this out. We just need to like... pick a day where we both just take off and go on a date and have fun. We need to get back to having fun, yeah?"

Marietta: had to admit that she was too avoiding this conversation. Mostly because she was afraid that talking would lead to them breaking up, and that instead, if they just left things how they were, they'd just keep being in a relationship. One that wasn't really functioning that well (or at all), but still a relationship. In the end, all Mari really wanted was to know that coming home at night, she'd find Lexi there and be able to call her love. "Lex, no, you're not in half. You're a whole," she nodded, looking into Lexi's eyes and she looked to see if she was following her, "you're a whole and I'm a whole and together, we don't complete each other, but complement." She squeezed Lexi's hand with a sad, but hopeful smile. Hopeful for the future, hopeful for their future. "We'll find time. I'll take up less students, less library hours... We'll figure out time to be together, okay?" She took the other's hand up and kissed her knuckles softly. "I love you. I love you and we're making this work."

[marietta-lopez]

kimxstcloud:

It would, but I’m thinking that New York hospitals aren’t as fun as Seattle Grace. And there aren’t really any McDreamys or McSteamys around, unfortunately. I would though. 

Oh, believe me, there are some McDreamys around. When I went to the hospital last year, the OB that saw me was..... Dang it, he was fine. No Derek Shepherd, I must admit, but fine as heck.

[marietta-lopez]

jessest-broadway:

I’m fairly sure a bruise is just burst capillaries under your skin, so I’m not entirely sure how it could be infected. But I could be wrong. I think you should still get it checked out either way.

Jesse, you’re such a smart cookie, oh my gosh! Like, the smartest and most talented cookie in the cookie jar. 

[marietta-lopez]

When The Seasons Change | Lexi&Mari [April Fools]

Lexi: was a better person when Marietta was around. Any person with eyes could see that Lexi was head over heels for the girl. She never knew what falling in love really felt like until her. The butterflies, the heart eyes, the utmost happiness that she felt whenever her name was even mentioned or crossed her mind. All of it was a first experience for Lexi, and she adored every moment of it. "I... /You/ make me happy. You are my happiness. Even just the thought of you makes me smile, Mari. I've never felt this close to anyone. I don't care if you're not physically here, the fact that you still want to be called mine is enough. I don't... I /can't/ live without you." She told her, all her emotions coming out at once.

Marietta: knew that it was obvious that they both cared so deeply, that they both were so invested in making this work and being together. She knew that Lexi had been doing everything in her power to make it right and what hurt her the most was that she, herself, wasn't. She could've done better. She could've quit the tutoring, she could've quit the library. She could've tried harder. But she hadn't, and to hear Lexi say she can't live without her made her tremble with disappointment in herself. "Don't say that. Don't you ever say that, Alexandra, you can live without me. You can, you're capable of that, I know you are." Mari's lip trembled as she spoke, trying to get her thoughts across. She came into that room decided that she wasn't good enough for Lexi and that she had to let her go, but she had just noticed that she hadn't been giving enough, true, but that she could and she was willing to give everything. "You can be amazing without me, but you know what? You don't have to. Because I'll be here. I'm not letting you go. I'll be here if you want me to. If you allow me to."

[marietta-lopez]

PRIVATE;

Yeah, it’s okay, we’re gonna work this out, we gotta. Break ups must suck, eh? I haven’t had one before, but I can’t imagine they’re fun. If you even need a distraction of something like that, you let me know. I get what you mean, I haven’t really had much time to be close to them…. They’re also quite busy beans.

[amycslade]

- PRIVATE - 

You’ve never had a break up? Wow, that’s awesome for you. Lexi’s your first girlfriend then? I’m…I don’t want to turn down offers of distraction, but let’s be real, I’m also kind of terrible at asking for what I need. So, yeah. Yeah, they have been. It’s great for them, not so great for relationships with other people.

[marietta-lopez]

PRIVATE;

No, thankfully. Yeah, she’s my first girlfriend. My first love, if you may. Which makes it even scarier to have been having problems. Well, don’t hesitate asking, truly, Amy. I’m here if you need. I might not have time to actually be with you in person, but if you ever just need to get your mind off of something, I’m here. 

[marietta-lopez]

When The Seasons Change | Lexi&Mari [April Fools]

Lexi: dreaded this feeling, weak and vulnerable. But Marietta was the only person she felt like it was okay to be like that around. She couldn't just let that go, let the past ten months go. Hearing the girl speak, she pursed her lips. She hated being sad, but she hated seeing Mari sad more. She could tell that she was genuine, her eyes watering. The sight itself caused Lexi to break a bit, wiping her eyes. "No, stop. You can't... fuck that." She moved to sit next to the girl, needing the closeness. "You're not letting me down, we just need to work on things. You're living your life and doing the things you love. You're good enough, you're more than good enough. And I just can't stand to see you like this." She paused, lifting Mari's chin so she had her full attention. "I can't let you go. P-Please don't let me go." She said, her voice cracking as tears fell.

Marietta: had never been more happy than when with Lexi. That was a fact, a pure fact that nobody could deny. She had never been as radiant as when with Lexi. Not because she needed to be dating to be happy, not because Lexi completed her - Mari was a complete person by herself - but because Lexi overflowed her. Lexi made her feel more than complete. Lexi added to her life things she didn't know because and these past ten months had been Mari's biggest and most fulfilling adventure. So to have the other be so close to her, telling her to not let her go was breaking her down and at the same time picking her up. "Are you happy, Lex? Have you been the happiest you can be? Am /I/ making you the happiest you can be?" She questioned, unsure of what to do. More tears rolled down her cheeks, now losing control of her own self. "I don't want to let you go either. But I can't stand knowing that I'm not being here for you. That I'm not showing up, you know? Because I love you and I'm not showing you that enough, Lex." She licked her lips as she moved one of her shaky hands to cup one of Lexi's.

[marietta-lopez]

PRIVATE;

I’m having some problems with Lexi. I mean, not problems with her, she didn’t do anything. It’s me. I’ve been kinda failing in making it work lately. How are you though, what could be better? Oh, me too. I miss them a lot, actually!

[amycslade]

- PRIVATE - 

I’m sorry to hear that. You two always seem good. I’m sure you’ll figure this out though. I’m good mostly. Just dealing with a break up and other life things. I miss them too, but I guess that’s partly my fault. We haven’t actually been close for a long time.

[marietta-lopez]

PRIVATE;

Yeah, it’s okay, we’re gonna work this out, we gotta. Break ups must suck, eh? I haven’t had one before, but I can’t imagine they’re fun. If you even need a distraction of something like that, you let me know. I get what you mean, I haven’t really had much time to be close to them.... They’re also quite busy beans.

[marietta-lopez]

I’m good… As good as I can be, I guess. How are you? And that is true! And a shame.

[amycslade]

Same, pretty much. I’m good. Could be better. Everything okay? I saw your tweet. It’s a shame, but that’s life sometimes. I’ve only really seen Ash and Logan once since their wedding.

[marietta-lopez]

PRIVATE;

I’m having some problems with Lexi. I mean, not problems with her, she didn’t do anything. It’s me. I’ve been kinda failing in making it work lately. How are you though, what could be better? Oh, me too. I miss them a lot, actually!

[marietta-lopez]

When The Seasons Change | Lexi&Mari [April Fools]

Lexi: started picking at her fingernails, something she only did when she was anxious. It was habit she developed when she was younger that seemed to find its way back to her. When the door opened, Lexi held her breath. There she was, her girlfriend looking as beautiful as ever. For a moment, Lexi wanted to pretend nothing was wrong and just go up and kiss her. But she knew she couldn't, this had to be done. "Hey," she gave the girl a small smile. "Me too." Lexi stared back at the girl, their eyes locked for a moment or two. She wanted to say so much, but she couldn't seem to put her words together. "I missed you." She managed, her voice nearly cracking as the emotion and nerves already started to form.

Marietta: had been thinking about what to say and how to say them for as long as she had realized that there was something off in their relationship, and she'd even practiced in her head how exactly to phrase her words, but apparently, all of that planning was simply thrown away when she heard Lexi and the pureness in her voice, the honesty in her face. "Lex..." she began but was cut off by herself and her throat closing up as to avoid the emotions spilling over in her voice. She cleared her throat and breathed in, starting over. "I've missed you, too... But you don't deserve this. I haven't been giving you my 100% and you don't deserve me to be half-way there." She mumbled too quickly, words falling over some words, nervously trying to get through the terrifying feeling. "I can't keep letting you down like this. If you love something, you let it go, right? Isn't that what we're supposed to do?" She sighed. "That's what I'm supposed to do when I'm not good enough. When I haven't been good enough." She silently felt a single tear run down either her eyes and she blinked to fasten the process. The saltiness reached her lips and she sighed.

[marietta-lopez]

amycslade:

How are you, Mari? I don’t think I’ve seen you since Ash’s wedding.

I’m good... As good as I can be, I guess. How are you? And that is true! And a shame.

[marietta-lopez]

Huh. You might have a point. Still, bummed I wasn’t invited to your cool apartment dance party.

[amycslade]

Night time I have a cool apartment dance party, I’ll keep you in mind.

[marietta-lopez]

YAY!! :)

[marietta-lopez]

@MariettaLopez: you know when you love someone so much it literally hurts because you've been letting them down? yeah :/

[marietta-lopez]

When The Seasons Change | Lexi&Mari [April Fools]

Lexi: stared mindlessly at whatever was on the TV. She really wasn't paying attention that much to the show, her mind was too occupied. Today was the day that Mari and Lexi were finally going to talk. She had off from work and she knew this time would come eventually, but for the first time since she asked Marietta to be girlfriend, she was nervous. They were both living completely different lives with their jobs and the other's classes. It was like they barely saw each other even though they were right next door. It drove the girl crazy. She loved Marietta and was willing to do anything to fix it, she just hoped her girlfriend felt the same way. When she heard the door open, her heart nearly stopped. "In here!" She shouted from her bedroom, taking a deep breath before the girl entered the room.

Marietta: dropped her bag by the door and took her coat off, hanging it with a sigh. She dreaded going inside the apartment, walking that hallway up to Lexi's room because she was scared of what followed, but she knew it had to be done. She walked slowly, kind of dragging her own body in that direction and finally opened the door. She was looking at the floor, unable to look up at Lexi for a few moments before she finally did. Looking at her, Mari felt that for a split of a second there was nothing wrong with them. That everything was fine, that there was nothing in need of fixing. But unfortunately, that didn't last long as she sat on the edge of the bed and smiled sadly at the dark-haired. "Hi." She mumbled, tapping her fingers on her thighs as to unload her nervousness in a way. Wasn't really working, but she was trying. "I'm glad we found a moment to talk." She held her sight on Lexi's eyes. Although it hurt her to know the reason she was there and so worried, it was comforting to look into the beautiful green of the other's eyes and allow herself to simply be. Alexandra's always had that effect on her.

[marietta-lopez]

amycslade:

Those are some impressive credentials there, but I’m still not sure that you’re qualified to make the rules about apartment dance parties.

Huh. You might have a point. Still, bummed I wasn’t invited to your cool apartment dance party.

[marietta-lopez]

aidenfoster:

so maybe this means a doctor would be your best bet? 

It probably is... I’m gonna see if I can get an appointment this week.

[marietta-lopez]

amycslade:

Really? Who made that rule?

MARIETTA CECILIA LOPEZ, PhD IN PARTYING! (Has been to about four parties in her life and already has a PhD... look at that.)

[amycslade]

Sunday dance parties in my apartment are the best dance parties. Who cares that there is laundry to do and lunches to prep for the week when you can turn the music up loud and dance around like a fool? That’s what life’s about anyway. 

[marietta-lopez]

It’s not a party if you don’t invite Marietta!!!!!!!