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posting about developing PTSD (from having a sick parent)

[only-knives]

trauma is trauma. it doesn't matter if "it could have been worse." what matters is how it impacted you. there's no such thing as invalid or trivial trauma.

[traumasurvivors]

Your trauma is valid even if your memories about it are blurry, in pieces or even nonexistent.

[only-knives]

for the love of trauma survivors, please do not misuse language to describe abuse and trauma responses - especially not for jokes.

gaslighting isn't simply lying. it's behavior employed by an abuser to make their victim question their reality and sanity. and grooming is behavior that aims to warp a victim's perception of reality in favor of the predator - ultimately to normalize abuse.

flashbacks and repressed memories aren't simply remembering. flashbacks involve re-experiencing trauma through memories, thoughts, and emotions. repressed memories involve trauma so severe, the only way their brain could cope was to block it out.

being triggered isn't just being angry or uncomfortable. it's an exhausting and near uncontrollable nervous system response - it can be about trauma, but it can also be about symptoms of other things too. it can involve an array of distressing actions, thoughts, and emotions.

these are not fancy words for fairly mundane things. and fucking none of them are for you to make a joke of.

[silverliningsandshit]

Trauma is anything that overwhelms the brain’s ability to cope.

You don’t get to judge what someone else’s brain can deal with, you don’t get to decide what was or was not traumatic to other people.

What was traumatic for one person, might not be for someone else and that’s okay. Everyone is different and therefore our trauma is different. You do not have the right to judge anyone on their trauma, how much it affects them or how they deal with it.

[mariotennisfever]

The meaning of being a visiting child of a seriously ill parent receiving care at the ICU

Children’s visits to the ICU are still restricted, and more focus on the child’s own needs and experiences are needed. The aim of this study

The phenomenon [“being a visiting child of a seriously ill parent receiving care at the ICU”] is revealed in perceptions of being needed and a need to help out with concrete things. The meaning of being needed is described as a mutual dependence revealed by the ill parent’s helplessness, and both the child’s and the parent’s need for closeness.

The need is concretized by being close to and present with the parent, as quickly and for as long a time as possible. The meaning of being needed is also expressed in a desire to ease the parent’s pain and an understanding that the parent needs help to recover, revealed in actions of wanting to help and naturally care for the parent. While visiting, the child has a desire to be recognized that manifests itself most strongly in the meeting with the nurse. The meaning of being recognized involves being seen, that someone initiated the visit, and being recognized through the nurse’s talks and questioning and through receiving information, but as this occurred only at a superficial, non-individual level the feeling of inclusion was not achieved. The children felt that the nurse cared for them, but not in a compassionate, caring way. The visit also revealed that the children had become aware of their sick parent’s situation by seeing the parent in the unfamiliar environment with all the equipment and medicines, and through drawings, books, and diaries. The children became aware of the shift in their parent’s condition, of the seriousness of the situation, and of how much they loved and longed for their parent.

[...]. The children also described closeness to their parent as meaningful, as they believed their presence could help the parent recover and return to them in their daily life. Being close to the parent created feelings of being significant and calmness in the child. The children described a desire to be close to their sick parent. They sat near their bed and looked at them; they did not always talk, but they were there. Sometimes they held their sick parent’s hand, and sometimes they talked a great deal with them as they felt that this helped their parent: I held his hand (Girl, 12 years).

[...]. “Time” is also described as meaningful when it comes to the children’s feelings of being needed, and is seen in the dimensions of wanting to be with the parent as quickly as possible and wanting to stay there for a longer while. If “time” was extended, this caused worries and longing. The children could sit by their parent’s bed for hours, and often stayed almost a whole day. They felt good when they stayed with their parent. They also described that it had seemed like an eternity before they could see their parent because it took so long to drive there, and that the question about the children visiting had been brought up late: Mother: We had waited several days before we brought the children to visit ... ... Child: Eight thousand years ... Mother: Three days ... Child: Eight million years... ... (Boy, 6 years).

[...]. The children described that when they had seen their sick parent in reality they saw how many needles, machines, and medicines were needed for them to get better. The equipment, bed, machines, medicines, tube in the throat, needles, blood hose, and urine catheter caught their attention. The fact that their parent could not urinate by themselves affected the children deeply in both an emotional and a humorous way. They also blamed their sick parent’s confusion on the medicines. Further, the children described that sometimes their parent was awake, while other times they slept through the whole visit. When seeing their sick parent, the child became aware that they were in pain and in a fragile position. They described this as tough, and said that seeing all this made them afraid. But at the same time, they described that it was good to see their sick parent and did not want to miss it. The child realized how sick their parent was upon seeing everything. The children also described that when they visited, they could see changes in their sick parent and in their room. They described that they noticed when there were more or fewer machines, hoses, and medicines. The parent’s situation and condition also made the children wonder about the future: Will Mom be able to walk? To eat by herself? To be home with us? (Girl, 15 years).

In this study, closeness to the parent, by sitting next to their bed, was interpreted as not only helping the child’s emotional state but also helping the parent to recover.... However, if the visit is not facilitated, children may be afraid to touch their family member or fear that they will harm them and thus stand at a distance, uncertain as to what to do.

[mariotennisfever]

Family members of Covid-19 ICU patients may emerge with a different condition, study says | CNN

PTSD doesn't just happen to veterans of war. A new study shows that symptoms were tracked to significant levels in loved ones of patients wh

Amass and his team surveyed family members in the months after a loved one was admitted to the ICU with Covid-19 in 12 hospitals across the country. Many of the people studied were limited in visitation and contact with the patient.

The study found that of the families that responded to the survey, 201 out of 316 (about 63%) had significant symptoms of PTSD.

There is a chance that those who experienced the most emotional difficulty responded at greater rates and that the findings might overstate PTSD symptoms as a result, said Dr. Murray Stein, vice chair for clinical research in the department of psychiatry at the University of California San Diego School of Medicine. Stein was not involved in the study.

“All that said, even if the rates are only half of what this study found, they are still alarmingly high and point to the need for emotional support,” added Stein, who is also a distinguished professor of psychiatry and public health at UC San Diego.

[...]. Especially in the beginning of the pandemic, hospitals were overwhelmed, and staff members worked extensive hours to provide the best care they could. Amass said often it is small acts of kindness that families need to feel the sense of involvement and care for their loved one that they need – like asking for a picture hospital staff could hang to make the patient feel happier.

“Even that small act of compassion from the health care team to the family can really have a really powerful impact for those family members and their risk of developing these (PTSD) symptoms,” Amass said.

More research may be needed to know the best way health care providers can engage with families after an ICU stay, but this most recent study does suggest that more robust services are needed, Stein said.

“The scores on these surveys were so high that I would advocate for providers to actively screen these family members for depression, anxiety and PTSD clinically so they can get therapy,” Amass said.

[mariotennisfever]

Post-traumatic Stress Symptoms in Post-ICU Family Members: Review and Methodological Challenges

Family members of intensive care unit (ICU) patients are at risk for symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) following ICU dischar

Several authors have described associations between the nature of the relationship between family member and patient and PTSD symptoms (Azoulay et al., 2005; Gries et al., 2010; Kross et al., 2011). Azoulay et al. (2005) reported adult children of ICU patients having higher rates of PTSD symptoms compared to other familial relationships such as parent or sibling (p > .05). Gries et al. (2010) found that having a relationship with the patient other than spouse or adult child and knowing the patient for a shorter length of time was associated with higher prevalence of PTSD symptoms (p = .003). Kross et al. (2011) reported that family members of older patients had lower levels of PTSD symptoms and suggested that critical illness and death of younger patients may place family members at higher risk of psychological burden. Echoing this idea, Pillai et al. (2010) found a higher prevalence of PTSD symptoms in parents of ICU patients. Given the largely disparate findings in these studies as with other variables, a firm association between the FDM-patient relationship and PTSD symptoms is elusive.

[furiousgoldfish]

Trauma Information

Processing trauma

Traumatic memories get stored in the brain Differently

Trauma processing information

Steps for Managing Emotional Flashbacks

4 Types of Trauma Responses in Childhood

Relapses can possibly be a Seasonal Trauma occurrence

Three Stages of Trauma from Childhood Abuse

It’s likely you’ll feel the worst of your trauma long after it’s over

Feeling like you’re not normal because of trauma

Anger is vital in resolving trauma

Causes of Trauma

List of trauma symptoms caused by Childhood Abuse

How long term childhood abuse develops into trauma (comic)

Loss of support and community after trauma adds to it

Isolation from support can decide whether a person develops ptsd

Abandonment, rejection and isolation causes trauma

Symptoms of Trauma

Magical Thinking is a symptom of Childhood Trauma

Memory loss is a symptom of trauma and dissociative disorder

Inability to keep your space clean and tidy can stem from Trauma

Chronic Exhaustion comes from Trauma and is traumatic

Constant guilt, shame, and fear of failure can be caused by Trauma

Constant guilt for things that were done to you is an indicator of Trauma

Trauma from abuse will create a compulsion to Act Normal

Trauma will make you feel like you’re losing your future

Trauma makes you feel like you just ‘need to snap out of it’

Trauma can feel like ‘it wasn’t that bad’ even when it was

Childhood trauma can make you sense other people’s emotions

If you wish you suffered violence and trauma, it’s likely you’re already traumatized

Health risks

Trauma will mess up your immune system

Trauma can cause breathing problems and heart palpitations

Trauma will mess up your digestive system

C-ptsd can cause chronic pain and chronic exhaustion

Trauma can make it difficult both to sleep and to stay awake

If you’re struggling with trauma, here’s a link to Pete Walker’s Complex PTSD, and if you believe your trauma comes from abuse, here’s a link to checklists for parental/relationship abuse.