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CW and TW :
I love drawing blood ! Therefore some of my drawings may be upsetting to some people; everything is tagged accordingly so as long as you’ve muted anything that upsets you (ex.: #blood, #gore, etc), you won’t come across anything of that kind.
TOU? in my carrd ! DNI? basic dni criteria (lgbtphobic, racist, p*do, etc.), but other than that I will block freely.
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Inbox and dms in all my platforms are always open, but I take forever to check them. If you have any urgent and/or serious inquiries, please send me an email instead.
I’m an incredibly slow poster. My irl life is very busy, please understand.
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This post is subject to change but I hope this suffices for now !
long post but necessary ! check tags for content warnings before reading
Ok fine hiii helloooo yes i am aware i've been gone for a million years and i also know most who follow me mostly likely do not care and / or have completely forgotten about this blog (which is completely fine i promise, i'm being lighthearted and /pos). That being said, it didn't feel correct to pass by, post the silly and disappear into the wind this time around, so here goes.
Although i've always loved to post only and exclusively when i fell like it and want to, and this is a fact that does stay true even right now, there have been mayor life factors as to why i've been 99% gone.
The main one, very genuinely and very simply, is me being very busy with uni. I've been studying animation since 2020, and i'm currently on my 5th out of 6 semesters before graduating. I like to keep things separate (personal art and "uni art") so I've not been sharing a lot about my journey. I feel like i owe you all more content because of this, and i may post thesis-related content once i'm more free or when i feel comfortable doing so. I've been creating parallel to all of this but i just have not felt the itch to post, the same way i've left aside social media almost entirely. To put it bluntly, it did not do me any good, and it connects to the other reason/s as to why i've been radio-silent…
On the other hand, 2023 was an entirely different level of low for me. I will not trauma-dump on you all, but i've been struggling on-and-off with my mental health virtually all my life. Intrusive thoughts since i was a child, GAD, DPDR, etc etc. During my most active years here (2016-18) i was using art as a main coping mechanism and it did help me a lot, but the bad periods only got worse since then, as they do. Once you learn to cope with a level of "severity", next time you'll need to learn to cope with a harder one, and so forth. Not always ofc, but it was like that for me and still pretty much is. Just how the fluctuating nature of my mental health is.
The ever changing downward spiral that started in 2020, a year i have genuine real trouble remembering at all due to how dissociated from reality i was, hit new records each year after that. '21, '22, and finally '23 where i almost fully gave up. twice.
I'm doing a LOT better nowadays, i am not in any risk and i'm no longer a danger to my own well-being (i promise) thanks to my beloved therapist and loved ones, but '24 has been an entire year of recovering and mostly coming to terms to what has happened to me not only last but these past few years, inwards and outwards. Life has been gentler on me, and that's mainly why i got inspired to post this.
Anyways, thanks for reading if you have. Cannot promise I'll be more active but what i can promise is that i'll be around. Have a great week everyone, wherever y'all are.
have this relic from 2021 i just unearthed from my art folder comparing the two ends of c! Ranboo's appearance in fanart IE his (mostly) fanon design. can't believe this is STILL true
