Gay Writes? Wrong, Gay Procrastinates @markthekng - Tumblr Blog

so sad forever twitter killed bot api thing because fiskbot has been like crucial to my grammar vocabulary essence development

viily

like i am constantly referencing this thang

encephalodyspareunia

some other gems from fisk bot

and my personal all-time favourite:

mousesize

love this animals... the salmon

#image refuses to load

itsantlerhead

like a dog

filmnoirsbian

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

filmnoirsbian

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

filmnoirsbian

I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

this-is-a-name-dont-worry

gshsjb

#kids are fucking awesome I'm gonna be a dad one day #not today though I have work and also no money

friendzoned61

I’ve got a bit of a tummy ache rn so one could say I know exactly what Simon’s been through

aubobbies

Freaky deaky puppeteepy

Strange to me how people act like shipping is a new phenomenon that exclusively exists because of the Internet when ten year old me was shipping the cheese wheels on the back of the cheez it box in my spare time.

cloudabserk

“fujoshis are harmful to gay men” not this gay man.

cloudabserk

on twitter this got a bunch of responses like “wow even the evil fujoshis? the homophobic yet hypocritically fetishistic ones? what if the fujoshi is racist?” and like well no obviously not in that case.

cloudabserk

“shoutout to everybody from new jersey!” “even the new jersey serial killers…?”

markthekng

I watched Iron Lung again tonight in the comfort of my home and my dog must've been watching with me cause as soon as bad things started happening to Simon she started crying. In the scene where he ultimately dies she could not stop crying at me. I am now watching him play the Henry Stickman collection so she can see that A.) He's not dead and B.) He's not in distress. Occasionally he'll whine or hum in discontent about something and my dog will look at me and whine to try and get me to fix whatever is distressing Markiplier.

markthekng

Her genuine reaction to Simon getting Iron Lunged:

zzoupz

she's the opposite of that snake that hates markiplier

v0ideddr3ams

Why does she low-key look like this painting?

Ivan the terrible and his son by Ilya Repin

markthekng

Not unlike how most of us felt watching Iron Lung

definitelynotplanetfall

>fire truck >look inside >water

cacoonedmoonworm

Teething

Doodle for you all! Don’t worry he’s very carful, he just wants a little bite! I thinks Simon just twitches the skin with the muted teeth just enough to lightly dig in over and over and it drives Grace up a wall! Also makes raspberry’s so much worse lol