blue skies. endless clouds. @marleyrxid-blog - Tumblr Blog

sebnavarro:

“I forgive you, truth be told I don’t even really like coffee anyway.” He laughs gently and shrugs his shoulders, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. “It just seems like the kind of thing someone would want so early in the morning, especially if they haven’t gone to bed yet, which I haven’t. I’m a tea drinker.” There’s some in a paper cup sitting next to him that has long since gone cold, back when this endeavor was only going to be an hour or two long and he was going to curl up next to Noah and resolutely forget about Exy. It’s not the first time that he’s been incredibly grateful that his boyfriend understands that he has a hard time stopping once he gets started, it’s not the first time he’s just been incredibly grateful for that boy in his life.

Marley teases him and he clamps a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter, rolls his eyes. Her look quickly melts into something closer to actual concern, and he sighs gently. “We won, and we scored a lot of goals, and I’m proud of that effort. But there were also a lot of holes, and it’s frustrating because there’s only so much I can do to fix them. All I can do is try and make my side of things better, which is what I was trying to do.” He gestures towards the laptop and shrugs again, a small smile on his lips for her sake if nothing else. “Unfortunately I think I’m past the point of being able to form coherent thoughts about Exy. After a while it’s just someone on a screen running around in circles.”

Marley wrinkled her nose at the mention of tea, but the smile never left her lips. “You’re a tea drinker! You’ll have to teach me your secret. I’ve never been able to get into tea but I’ve heard it’s a lot better for you than coffee.” Honestly, if she had her choice, she’d always pick hot chocolate over everything else. It might not wake her up but it was warm and cozy and if she fell asleep because of it, no harm done.

Settling back into the chair, she crosses her arms over her chest. It was always Exy. If there was one person she thought needed a vacation other than Wymack, it was Sebastian. “You shouldn’t stress too much about it right now. We won, we did great even if there were a few things that needed to be cleaned up. The time to really worry about that is when next practice comes around. You’re gonna go gray if you don’t let yourself rest,” Marley said with a small laugh. “I know we all live for Exy and all of us are hungrier than ever before to win the championship, but none of us are gonna get there by stressing and losing sleep. You might not be on the court, but you’re part of the team and we need you at your best.”

#☼ sebastian

sebnavarro:

It’s long past time since he should have gone to sleep, but he’s still awake and sitting at a table in the lobby of the hotel with his laptop open, playing game footage on what feels like and endless loop at this point. He has a headache blooming behind his eyes, he’s had one ever since he came off the court–his offense had provided a lead going into halftime and one of his strikers had won the game ultimately, but it had been by the skin of their teeth ultimately. He can’t fix the defense, he wouldn’t know where to start, but if he can just–find some way to create enough offense to take the pressure off–he sighs and lets his head rest in his hands, drags his fingers through his hair. For the fifteenth time the player on the screen plants his feet and pulls to his opposite side, and he still doesn’t know what to do with that information.

He stretches his arms over his head and groans, leaning back in his chair until the back legs are the only ones on the ground. He hears footsteps coming towards him and blinks his eyes a couple of times to make them focus, closes the lid of his laptop. “Unless you have enough coffee to make me forget my name and or a secret Exy playbook with all of the answers, I’m gonna have to ask why you’re still up.” He says with a small smile, even though he feels frayed at the edges. “Coach and all of that.”

Marley tilted her head to the side with raised eyebrows before a quiet laugh left her lips. “Wish I could say I had enough coffee to do that but looks like I’m running a little short tonight, sorry.” It was late in the night and Marley was sure she could find some awful cheap coffee somewhere if it seemed like the other really needed it. She was hardly awake herself, having woken up from a very light sleep. She hardly slept well, woke up at the slightest of noises. From somewhere in the hotel she’d heard the sound of someone running around and Marley was wide awake within seconds. She’d grabbed her shoes and glasses and just settled on walking around for a bit.

“I woke up and just wasn’t able to go back to sleep. A common occurrence, nothing to worry about mr. coach sir,” Marley teased. She pulled out a chair to sit down across from him, bringing her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs, chin resting on her knees. “As a worried player, I should ask why you’re still awake. You look like you could be part of the walking dead right now.” Her voice was laced with worry, features pulled tight as she looked over Sebastian. The laptop was there and Marley could guess that it had something to do with Exy. With Foxes, it always had to deal with Exy. “You doin’ okay?”

#☼ sebastian

lydiadelaneys:

For a moment, Lydia was certain Marley wouldn’t want to talk about it. Not with Lydia, at least, not when Lydia had already made it fairly clear that she wouldn’t have anything real to offer up afterwards: not advice, not her own feelings in return. Sure, she’d listened to plenty of people bare their souls in Eden’s, but more often than not, they were simply talking for the sake of hearing their own voices, and Lydia just happened to be there. This was different. This was Marley, who might walk away at any moment, and Lydia, who found herself truly wanting to know what the Fox was thinking.

It was hard to shake the idea that people interacted with her as transaction though, that connections were made based on what Lydia could give them—even with someone like Marley, who’d asked for nothing so far other than the potential for Lydia’s company, and even that had been framed as an attempt to help Lydia. So, it took her by surprise when Marley broke the silence. It was an even bigger surprise when Marley said the word miscarriage though, and Lydia consciously resisted the urge to stare at the other woman in the pause that followed. She’d pieced together enough of Marley’s past even before their first conversation, drawing her own conclusions from the bruises she’d seen when Marley first arrived and from the stories she’d heard afterwards, but that part? That was entirely new.

“Oh,” she breathed out, because as promised, she had no advice to give. Lydia was still trying to get over a shitty boyfriend, and she was failing miserably at that. She doubted she would’ve been able to claw herself back from whatever Marley had gone through. Hell, she hadn’t even brought all of herself out of Tennessee, and it’d been years—but some of Lydia was still back there, buried with her sister. She’d never buried a child. And yet, somehow, Marley still smiled more often than not.

Marley’s expression was sad now though, and she curled into herself in a position that read as defensive to Lydia. Despite the fact that both of those were Lydia’s own default settings, she hated seeing it on Marley. “I’m sorry,” Lydia said, even though she’d always rolled her eyes when people said that about Elizabeth. It had always sounded…stupid. Fake. Truth be told it sounded the same now, even coming out of her mouth this time around. “I don’t know what to say,” Lydia admitted, sitting very still for once. Her fingers itched to fidget with something, to hold a cigarette or a bottle, but somehow it seemed like mindless movement would be a disservice to the heaviness of the conversation. “I don’t know how to do the whole, y’know. Comforting thing,” she admitted. “But I would if I could,” Lydia said, clearing her throat. “It couldn’t have been your fault though. Whatever happened.” She didn’t know the story, sure, but from what little she knew of Marley, she could promise that much.

Sometimes Marley caught herself feeling stuck between worlds. Her body felt heavy, a weight left sitting on the curb while Marley felt some part of her lifting. She wasn’t in her body anymore, couldn’t feel a tether to it, but she could somehow still feel the heaviness. And like a rubber band, she would snap back into place just like she did in that moment. It left her feeling disoriented, a part of her missing each time it happened. She couldn’t help but feel like it happened this time because she took a weight off her chest, let something free that she’d kept restrained inside of her. There were certain burdens that Marley carried with her that she didn’t feel like she could ever get rid of no matter how hard she tried. She couldn’t find it in herself to let those burdens go, to forgive herself for not doing what she should have done.

If there was something Marley was good at though, it was bringing herself back to her safe ground. It was like a small clear circle with nothing but dark stormy seas all around her and Marley found her way back each time. It was how she kept going, how she kept smiling. She knew the world couldn’t be all bad, she knew there had to be things to hope for and things to live for. There had to be. If there wasn’t… that would mean everything was worthless.

And Marley did bring herself back, smiling at Lydia with a reassuring glance despite that fact that she’d just told Lydia about her miscarriage. “You don’t have to worry, I’m not expecting you to know what to say or even what to do. I wouldn’t if I were in your position.” Marley stretched her legs out, joint long forgotten and put out. “Telling you wasn’t about searching for comfort or help or understanding. It’s more about… helping myself by getting it out there in the world. Acknowledging it happened and what goes on in my head. And most importantly, it’s about trust.” It was a way for Marley to show her heart to Lydia, to show that she trusted the other woman.

“But thank you, really. I guess I like to try to blame myself because I let it go on. I should have just left after my father when Wymack gave me my first escape.” Marley pulled at the sleeves of her sweater, focused on that rather than anything else. “Don’t know if you knew that, but Wymack had asked me when I finished high school if I wanted to come on with the Foxes. After years of hell with my father, I had my out right there. It was what I spent years working for: all that studying, all that extra practices, the Exy obsession was to get me out and finally it happened.” When that contract was right there in front of her, it seemed too good to be true. “And when it was right there, I couldn’t believe it and so I refused. It felt like a dream, it felt like it couldn’t have been that easy to leave it all behind. So I turned it down and ended up marrying Samuel. I guess that’s why I blame myself… I could have ended it all there, I could have not gone through all that extra pain and torment if I’d just signed that first contract.”

#☼ lydia #abuse tw #miscarriage tw

lydiadelaneys:

Hey beautiful, Marley said, and Lydia’s gut instinct was to deny the compliment somehow. It’d be easy to laugh it off, to make some self depreciating comment in return. But…Marley had invited Lydia here with the expectation that they’d have fun, and there was something in Lydia that wanted to rise to the occasion. She hadn’t had friends since Shane, really. How sad was that? So, instead of brushing it off: “Hey! Right back at you,” Lydia said, and then cringed somewhat, because even though she meant it (Marley did look beautiful tonight), it felt like a stupid line, even to her. Somehow, it didn’t sound natural coming from her mouth. Conversations were so much harder when the other person was sober—even moreso when she cared what they thought about her.

Positivity hadn’t suited her in a while though, and it wasn’t like working with Wymack had changed that. On his best days, she would call him gruff. He wasn’t exactly lively.

Marley was though, and Lydia could say that even after their conversation in the parking lot, even after knowing that there was far more to Marley than the seemingly endless optimism. Lydia didn’t feel that way about herself. Marley worked so hard, overcame so much, and she clearly had the strength to keep going regardless of all that. She had…layers, for lack of a better word. Lydia felt stagnant. Two dimensional. She didn’t want to be though.

Isolation was more familiar to Lydia than anything else at this point, but she’d promised herself she’d try harder, at least some of the time. Because despite it all, there was a part of her that missed just…being normal. Being a person. Things were always so complicated these days, and while that was partly because of her current affiliation with the Foxes, it wasn’t their fault. Mostly, it was Lydia’s fault. Once upon a time, she’d gone out with her friends, and it hadn’t felt frightening or awkward. Maybe they’d never gone to banquets, but there’d been weekly outings to bars, to clubs, to lunches. Once upon a time, she’d known how to socialize. What was stopping her from learning that again?

Marley made it easier, anyway. Lydia had always appreciated people who could be open, clever, comfortable—the ones who could keep the conversation going when she inevitably stumbled, and didn’t mind when Lydia needed to pull back. Marley was one of those people, and Lydia found herself returning Marley’s smile. Her own was smaller, but no less genuine. “No, it’s fun,” Lydia reassured her, leaving off the part where she felt completely and utterly out of place here. It was better now anyway, now that Marley was taking a break from socializing with the other teams. Despite everything, Lydia knew she could talk to Marley. “This is definitely the nicest I’ve seen the court look,” she added, glancing around at the decorations. “Plus: free food. That always makes an event worthwhile.” She paused, running her fingers self consciously over a run in her tights, thankfully well hidden in the dimly lit room. “Thanks for inviting me.”

It was easier to laugh and feel okay about it. For a long that she felt like something was snapping instead of her every time she laughed like she wasn’t allowed to laugh. There were little things that Marley thought would go back to normal after a while but it was years later and she was still trying to put little pieces back together. Marley never realized just how much of herself she lost until she came to Palmetto and met the Foxes. Now she stood at an Exy banquet, feeling a complicated sense of joy. Everything was always so complicated nowadays. “Oh please, I could have probably tried harder.” Marley had gone with simple as her theme. Simple makeup, simple hair, and a simple black dress. Enough to impress but not over the top to direct attention to her. The only people Marley really cared about at the banquet were the Foxes and the one woman in front of her—Lydia.

A small part of Marley had worried that Lydia would have backed out of coming to the banquet. It was that tiny part that always doubted everything. But when she’d met up with Lydia, Marley had been over the moon. Not only did it mean that she’d get to bring Lydia a little out of her comfort zone, but into the circle of the Foxes a bit more. Marley just wanted Lydia to know she had a support system even if it didn’t feel like it. With the Foxes, things were always muddy.

“It is weird to see the court not a mess of bodies full of anger and blood occasionally painting the floor. Not to mention, fans cheering with bright orange face paint,” Marley said as she glanced around the court. There was always a weird feeling for Marley whenever the court was being used for something that wasn’t Exy. Almost felt wrong, but she never really voiced that. “And free food does always make everything ten times better,” she added, eyes landing on the table where people were picking at the finger foods. “Regardless, I’m really glad you came! I probably would have just ended up keeping to myself or talking to Wymack all night.”

Marley raised her glass to her lips, taking a quick sip before she used the glass to motion around the court. “I know this is supposed to be a friendly thing for all the Exy teams in this district but at the same time, it’s hard to do that. Some of ‘em have done or said things on the court that you can’t really forget. Buuuuut, always better to be the better person. Eventually, we have to forgive people for things like that.”

#☼ lydia #blood tw

striker-brayden:

Brayden nodded in agreement, watching as the joint burned steadily before taking another hit. The first few games of the season were always pretty rough, since they were all getting back into the swing of things and adjusting to the freshmen. It seemed worse than usual lately, people losing their cools too quick and stumbling away from the court with blood staining their jerseys. Shit, he even landed himself a yellow card, which wasn’t like him.

“You don’t have to defend yourself to me,” Brayden laughed quietly as he exhaled the smoke through his nostrils. “I do a ton of shit I shouldn’t be doing during the season, but we all gotta do what we gotta do to stay sane.” The others loved to tell him that he shouldn’t smoke, because he was killing his lungs. It wasn’t any of their business what he did to his lungs.

“That’s fucking stupid,” He shook his head with furrowed brows, glancing over at her. “We’re all here on a scholarship, because of Exy. Like it’s a surprise that you want to focus on that instead of the other shit.” He was different in the sense that he didn’t want to try for pro after school, but he still wasn’t going to waste his time putting all of his energy into class. He wasn’t at Palmetto for an art scholarship.

Marley felt the tension in her shoulders slowly start to release, feeling better than she had the past couple hours. She had that awful habit of driving herself crazy worrying and stressing about just about everything under the sun but thankfully it only ever lasted for a little while. Not really a good thing. In her younger years, she’d learned all too well how to push down that worry and stress just to make everyone think everything was okay. Maybe one day she’d stop function as if she was still that young girl stuck in a horrible situation. Today, nope.

“Is it just me or does it seem harder to stay sane these days?” She asked quietly, taking another slow drag from her joint before continuing. “But what’s the fun in being boring and sane, hm?” Marley added with a smile and a laugh. She couldn’t ever really just leave things sad. It wasn’t in her nature. Maybe that’s why she was trying not to be so worried about her future and what her professor had said. Everything would always be okay in the end. “See, I thought it was stupid too! I get it, she wants me to be prepared but at the same time, I’m here for Exy. It’s the one thing that’s gotten me through everything I went through and it sorta feels like it’s the only thing I’m good at and can do. Of course, I’m going to put all my effort into that. It doesn’t make me feel great hearing her say things like that.”

There was still a chance that her future wouldn’t involve Exy, she had to be realistic. But if it didn’t? Marley felt like she’d be a little lost in the world. And worse? She was facing the reality that she’d be entirely alone after the Foxes and Marley didn’t know what she was going to do.

#☼ brayden #drugs tw

striker-brayden:

The closer it grew to the banquet the less Brayden could sleep. Rationally, he knew nothing terrible could happen, since the staff would be in the same room as the other players, but his brother managed to track him down last time. He had been able to get away then, but he wasn’t sure he would be as lucky this time, not when he got caught wasted last time. He managed to not think about that night in the past few months, but with the next banquet coming up, it was all he could think about lately. What did Landon want to say to him? What would have happened if Brayden didn’t get away?

They played against each other multiple times in the past few years, and somehow he managed to never even utter a word to his older brother. The last time they spoke was when he was an eighteen year old heroine addict. He didn’t know how to talk to Landon now that he was sober. Just the sight of him during that first game caused him to fuck up almost beyond repair. Sighing, Brayden pushed himself out of the bed, deciding he couldn’t pretend like he was going to fall asleep for anymore. Alcohol wouldn’t help, it would only make him more paranoid, so he grabbed his baggy that he buried in his underwear drawer and left the room.

As he stepped outside, he was surprised that he could already smell the distinct smell of weed in the air. It only took him a second to realize it was Marley. He had wanted to be alone, but it looked like they were in a similar place at the moment. Lighting up his own join, he moved to take a seat beside her, silent as he took a hit. Exhaling slowly, he turned to look at her. “You too?” He asked with a quiet laugh.

There was something peaceful about the night. Marley had always been fond of the night when everything fell asleep and became quiet. It was the only time she’d ever been able to think, to feel like she could breathe. It was the only time Marley could really be herself with a freedom she rarely felt. Constantly looking over her shoulder, constantly expecting the next hit or yelling session... it took its toll and it took away the freedom to live life. Sitting on the edge of the curb, listening to the quiet of the night, she felt like everything could unravel with ease.

She noticed that someone was beside her, but didn’t make an effort to move. Her hand moved to bring the joint back to her lips, taking a drag as she kept her eyes focused on the stars. It was when she exhaled that she glanced at Brayden and smiled softly. “Guess it’s been a chaotic time for everyone. Needs to relax a bit and my bedroom was getting stuffy.” Marley didn’t talk to her roommates much. She usually kept to herself whenever she was in the dorm and that meant being alone with her thoughts to run in circles.

“Probably shouldn’t be smoking it, but it’s usually the only thing that gets everything in my head to calm down. There’s just a lot going on with practices, classes, and personal stuff.” Marley let out a loud sigh. “I actually had a professor tell me that it would be smart if I just dedicated my time to becoming a teacher rather than Exy. But that’s what I want to do... just like every other Exy player.”

#drugs tw #☼ brayden #abuse tw

lydiadelaneys:

“That’s nice of him,” Lydia said, wryly. That was a fair point though. Wymack knew what kinds of kids he’d recruited, right? He had to know they weren’t all going to be completely law abiding, or whatever. Honestly, she still didn’t know what to make of the Foxes’ coach. He seemed too good to be true, even after working alongside him these past few months, and the idea of him warning the Foxes about their drug tests just muddled things more. For all his snark, he acted like he genuinely cared about the Foxes, and that…didn’t seem fair, somehow.

She watched Marley bring the joint in for another drag, frowning slightly as she noted the exhaustion hanging heavy on the other woman, evident even in the dim lighting. Lydia had mostly only seen Marley from afar, purposefully keeping her distance at first in an attempt to keep Shane’s violence a secret, and then later avoiding her on principle because she was a Fox—but from what Lydia had seen, Marley always had a smile plastered across her face. It wasn’t there now. “Yeah, Nashville would bring my mood down too,” Lydia said, sitting down on the ground alongside Marley. The cement was cold, and Lydia curled into herself, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on top of her knees. “I haven’t been there in years, but I can’t imagine it’s changed much.”

Because that was the real reason why she’d dodged this particular trip, of course. This time, it wasn’t about the Foxes at all. Not really. Nashville. She might be vaguely jealous that they’d left the state and she hadn’t, but she wasn’t jealous of where they’d gone. Like hell was Lydia going back to Tennessee. Like hell was she going to a place only thirty minutes away from her home town. She wasn’t even sure what she was so afraid of, because at this point, would her parents even recognize her? And what could they do? She’d turned eighteen long ago. It was the guilt that kept her away these days, more than anything else.

Lydia brushed those thoughts aside, glancing sidelong at Marley again. They weren’t…it wasn’t like they were friends, by any real definition of the word. They’d barely spoken, actually. But Marley was so much braver, smarter, stronger than Lydia, and Lydia admired her for it. She wished she’d been able to recover as gracefully as Marley had. Seeing Marley so tired though, talking about therapy and sleeplessness, it made the other woman seem more real too.

Maybe they weren’t friends right now, but Lydia would like to be Marley’s friend, someday. “You wanna talk about it? I’m not Betsy, and I’m not gonna be able to offer any advice, but I’m a bartender so…I’m a pretty good listener when I want to be. Drunk people love to talk.”

Marley glanced over at Lydia at her admission of Nashville being a part of her past. It was almost like the book of Lydia updating a new chapter, a part Marley wanted to read but didn’t have access to yet. The fact that the other was actually sitting down next to her and not just stopping for a moment only to walk away was an improvement. She knew it would take time but the fact that Lydia actually seemed to want to talk to her raised Marley’s spirits a little bit.

It was strange to see how much of herself she could see in Lydia. The old Marley who’d just come out of a relationship where she’d spent years cowarding and bruised. Broken. Marley had come to the Foxes lost and uncertain about her future. She’d spent so long reminding herself over and over again that she could have something better in her life and when she actually had it in the palm of her hands? Marley had been terrified. It felt so fragile. She’d spent so many nights on Wymack’s couch tossing and turning and worrying about being taken back home, back to the place that had nothing but horrible memories for her. Even after months of training with the Foxes, honing in her skills after three years of no Exy, she still felt like it was all too good to be true.

Now here she sat, a junior at Palmetto playing with the Foxes as a striker, and there were still days when she didn’t feel so certain but those were few and far between. She wasn’t scared anymore. She didn’t hate the world, didn’t feel like there was nothing but cruelty in the world. Marley wanted Lydia to see that she still had a life to live being happy and free from abuse. There was a new chapter waiting to be written but it couldn’t be if she held herself back. Marley did that enough to herself to know that.

Things would get better. Marley could promise Lydia that. The only thing she couldn’t promise Lydia was that it would go away entirely. Almost three years later now and Marley wasn’t sure if it did yet.

Letting out a deep breath, shifting to extend her legs out in front of her. A small laugh escaped from her, imagining poor Lydia having to listen to constant drunk ramblings from people. “I can imagine...” Marley mumbled, bringing her hand up to take another drag. She was quiet for another minute, staring out across the parking lot as her mind shifted back and forth, running through thought after thought after thought. “It was a few weeks ago, shouldn’t really matter anymore.” Marley brought her legs back up, curling into herself lazily. “It was the anniversary of my miscarriage when I was with my ex-husband. It’s the one thing that I’ve never really been able to move past. The abuse, the insults, the pain... I’ve gotten through most of that. I’ve accepted that it was part of my life but that I’m destined for better stuff, that my past is part of who I am but shouldn’t hold me back. But that miscarriage?” Marley paused, taking in a breath. “I can’t ever seem to stop blaming myself for that.”

#☼ lydia #abuse tw #drugs tw #miscarriage tw

paxtonridley:

Social events were always going to be torture for Paxton no matter how much they tried to be comfortable with them. This was always something that Emma was easier at handling. Even the wedding had been a bit too much for them. But tonight was going to be torture. Pax had gone to Betsy in hopes that she could get them out of this, but Wymack had said no. Sure Paxton wanted the team to look good, but that didn’t mean they had to be there for it. In fact, they were sure having a panic attack probably wouldn’t make the team seem normal at all. Hopefully this night was going to be painless, even though Pax knew that probably wasn’t the case. Once the floor was cleared for the DJ, Pax thought about slipping away, but Wymack’s threat actually mattered to them. They wanted to redeem themself from their last game. Pax hated getting carded during a game and it normally didn’t happen, so they were still sort of annoyed at that.

They found themself surrounded by a bunch of other Exy players. It seemed that everyone was at least attempting to play nice. From what Paxton was seeing anyway. The group Pax was in was chatting about their predictions for the season. Which players would be benched by the end of the season, which teams were going to make it to the Championships, what players had the best statistics. This was at least more comfortable for Pax to talk about and though it was difficult, they managed to keep up with conversation. Maybe they didn’t know who they were talking to, or they purposefully were trying to piss them off, but one of them brought up the Foxes.

“One hit wonders, I’ll say. I doubt they’re going to make it very far.”

Luckily the music was turned up high enough that Pax didn’t think they were going to cause an actual scene because honestly, Pax couldn’t let that comment go. “They’re two and oh right now. Much better than some of the other teams,” Paxton replied, a little harsher than they meant to. “I’m just saying.” Paxton was sure the group had no idea who they were talking to.

“No one on that team is worth anything. Look at all of them, they’re a mess. None of them know how to play as a team. I give it two more games before they fall apart.”

“That’s not fair. The Foxes are a great team. Stop talking before you regret saying anything about my team.” Yeah, they had no idea who they were talking to. Pax needed to get out of here fast before things got worse.

Marley had ducked away to the bathroom after a while. She’d had so many different conversations that it was making her head spin. The only one that she really got engaged in with any of the other teams happened to be with a Raven (shockingly) about her switch to Striker and how she was liking it so far. They talked for a good half hour, discussing what they loved about the position, new ideas for strategies and how playing other positions can help a new position. It was refreshing and better than talking about who talked the most trash and who should just stop playing Exy altogether.

In the bathroom, she’d taken the time to freshen up. Her cheeks were a rosy pink from the little alcohol she’d had to drink, her one drink minimum. Social events were limited things for Marley. She could smile and have fun but the longer she did it, the more exhausted she became at the end. She put all the blame on the anxiousness, the constant worry of something happening. When you didn’t trust people, it was hard to act as if you had no problem socialize at all.

Feeling a bit better, Marley left the bathroom. She met up with Wymack, reassuring him that she was okay since he’d seen her disappear off. Wymack was the closest thing she had to a father in her life and the fact that he worried (in his own gruff way) made her feel better. Marley went back into the mess of Exy players, coaches, and vixens. Not entirely sure where to just slide herself into, she’d settled on grabbing one of the finger foods for the moment. It was on her way she paused in hearing a conversation, eyebrows raised as her eyes darted before slightly familiar exy players and one very familiar Fox. Marley closed her eyes and sighed, not surprised people were shit talking the Foxes. It was something they dealt with even if it wasn’t fair to them.

Remembering Wymack’s words before the banquet and hearing Paxton’s words, Marley laughed under her breath before she walked over, stopping beside the other Fox. “I don’t mean to intrude, but I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation. Personally, I think we all play great as a team despite the fact that we all have our own shit to deal with. And the strange thing? I keep hearing everyone trash talk us but as far as I’m concerned, we’ve played better than most of you. You’re all pampered little princesses who don’t know a thing about life, let alone Exy. That pass you did at your last game? Awful! Who were you aiming for? A ghost? Honestly, it’s becoming more and more clear that some of you bigger teams are just willing to let anyone walk right onto the team. At least the Foxes actually have talent, right Paxton?”

#☼ paxton

[ @lydiadelaneys ]

Marley had kept things simple. Make-up was the minimum, enough to make her eyes pop more than they already did naturally. Her hair fell over her shoulders in delicate waves that were magically staying together for the night (she didn’t give it much longer because they’d be tumbled messes and it would clearly look like she’d been out all night). Her dress was a classic black beauty, black high heels to match that gave her the extra height she liked. Marley’s goal? Blend in until someone noticed her and then they really noticed her. It’s how she liked to be these days. Unassuming. Just the girl smiling and always magically there. The girl who looked like she had everything together.

Marley made nice to a majority of the other teams. Save for a particular Gamecock backliner that Marley sent a glare to considering the first game of the season. Once the opening speech was done, she found her way along the edges of the room, talking to quite a few people about the season so far, how school was going, and the latest gossip that she really had no interest in. It was awkward for Marley when it came to people outside of the Foxes. There was always this wall that she couldn’t ever get herself over. She knew they’d never understand the life she came from. They’d never understand how she became the person she was today through what she’d live through.

From across the room, Marley spotted Lydia and smiled. Now there was a person who wasn’t necessarily a Fox but understood Marley. She’d come with Lydia, invited her as her date so that she’d get to experience the banquet and hopefully hang out with some of the Foxes more. Marley left Lydia when she went to go talk to people but now she was regretting that decision. “Excuse me, I’ve gotta go talk to someone else. Thanks for coming to the banquet, the Foxes appreciate it.” Marley offered a smile to the two Ravens and Trojan she’d been speaking to before she left to go over to Lydia.

It was easier to relax, to let the tension roll off her shoulders and not have to remind herself every second that she needed to be okay. “Hey beautiful!” Marley said as she came up to Lydia, genuine big smile on her lips. “Enjoying the banquet so far? I know it might not be your thing, but I was hoping it would be fun.”

#☼ lydia

Marley Reid Banquet Attire

This year with a classic look below is Marley’s make-up and dress for the banquet!

#ignore the ugly layout #this is what happens when you're sick lmao #exy fall banquet

text ✉ lydia 🐨

lydia: honestly i can see why he's stressing. exy players are pretty fucking aggro at times

lydia: uh not you though

lydia: wait, really? ur asking me instead of one of the foxes?

lydia: actually...yeah, that'd be fun. we did say we should hang out sometime :)

marley: we all get it and with the ravens, things are always ten times worse.

marley: of course i am! i spend a lot of time with the foxes and i'm sure if one of them wanted to go with me, they would have asked awhile ago.

marley: i'm glad you wanna go!! i'd much rather go with you and we'll have a lot of fun! you just have to promise you'll go on the dance floor with me!

#☼ lydia

lydiadelaneys:

Lydia quickly learned that away games meant plenty of paperwork, but an away game with injuries meant even more. She was also faintly jealous that the rest of them had gone to Nashville, while Lydia stuck around in Columbia and pulled double shifts at the bar. It had earned her the rest of the weekend off, but that just meant she had plenty of time to work on Wymack’s to do list. Working two jobs made her bank account look slightly less heart attack inducing, but it also meant free time was harder to come by. Which was fine, really. What would she do with a free day anyway?

By the end of the weekend she should’ve been exhausted, but her frequent nights bartending meant that she was still wide awake, long after the sun had set. On the bright side, that meant she was safe to drive back home, despite the hellish commute time. On the other hand though, she knew sitting at home alone, staring at the GED book she had yet to crack open, would be yet another terrible night. She’d almost rather have a shift at Eden’s, even with all the Foxes back in town from their latest game.

It wasn’t uncommon to see smoke floating around the parking lot, especially when you parked near the Foxes, but Lydia was surprised to trace the smoke back to Marley Reid. Maybe she didn’t know much about the other woman, but hell, according to their last conversation, Marley didn’t even drink. She’d kind of assumed that meant no to anything mind altering.

Lydia warred with herself for a moment, torn between sneaking away back home (empty apartment, stupid book she wasn’t studying) and going over to say hi. If it were anyone else, she would’ve chosen the former but—Marley had walked into Eden’s all those weeks ago and reached out, and Lydia had yet to do the same, despite the fact that Marley had left the door wide open. So, Lydia shoved her hands into her jacket pockets and strolled over, hoping to look casual, normal. “Don’t you athletes have to pee in a cup or something?” she said, nodding towards the joint in Marley’s hands. “That’s not judgement, by the way,” she added quickly. “That’d make me a pretty big hypocrite, trust me.”

There were only a few people that Marley would have been willing to really talk to in that moment. Wymack, always. She couldn’t deny talking to him after everything he’d done for her. Lydia? She found her way on that list. Part because Marley wanted to keep that door open between the two of them, but also because she felt like she could lower her guard down just a bit. Everyday Marley spent so much energy trying to keep being positive, trying to keep pushing herself to be better and do better. Sometimes? Marley just wanted to let all that energy go and just relax even if it meant letting that sadness in for a little while. At least with Lydia, Marley figured maybe the other would understand.

“We do, but usually we get a little notice. I think Wymack would be more shocked than anything else if none of us smoked pot,” Marley said with a quiet laugh. She took another drag for a moment, eyes following the path of the smoke before she looked back over to Lydia. Her shoulders were more relaxed now, smile a little less big, and eyes a little less bright. Marley was exhausted. That much was obvious. “We all have our little vices though. I don’t smoke that often but sometimes it’s just nice to sit out and relax for a little while. And honestly?” Marley held up the joint, looking at it. “This really isn’t that bad. Could be worse and I won’t ever go near that stuff.” She’d seen enough of it as a child and she wanted no part of it.

“I don’t know. I couldn’t really sleep and studying wasn’t going to happen. I went to see Betsy before the Nashville game and that helped a bit but not as much as I hoped it would have.” Too many memories coming floating on back before Marly could really stop them. She knew how it was, she’d known for a couple years now that the memories would never just go away. There always there, it’s just a matter of living with it, accepting it, and getting used to it. As much as she wished she could just forget, that wasn’t possible. “’Nough about me. How have you been?”

#☼ lydia

text ✉ lydia 🐨

lydia: you totally will 🙂

lydia: and you make it sound way better than wymack did lmao

lydia: hm

lydia: idk it's probably kind of nice to only think about dating like, 3 times a year. but maybe that's just me.

lydia: who are u going with then?

marley: thanks

marley: lmao i'm pretty sure wymack doesn't like going. the chances of something happening always puts him on edge.

marley: no, i get where you're coming from with that. but sometimes it's nice to know that there are people out there interested in you. good people. not just bad people.

marley: little me? no one asked me to be their date and i was just gonna go by myself but...

marley: you could be my date?

#☼ lydia

text ✉ lydia 🐨

lydia: oh wow

lydia: your version of 'simple' is way classier than mine

lydia: i love it tho 10/10

lydia: so people like, really dress up for this thing?

marley: haha i still wanted to impress, you know?

marley: thanks! i feel better about going with that dress now :)

marley: yeah, most people dress up! a lot of people seem to enjoy being about to talk about things other than exy, there's great food, and the dancing is always fun.

marley: it's a nice chance to people to bring dates too. don't know just how much dating actually goes on when you're doing school plus practices plus exy games plus everything else.

#☼ lydia