Martine Beerman

[martinibeerman]

Want to know how to be friends with benefits? I can help!

www.Snapchat.com/add/MartiniBeerman

[martinibeerman]

My Tinder Heart

After getting out of one and then another long term relationship, I realized very quickly that dating game has changed.. a lot.  Swipe Left = Hells No, Swipe Right = mmmm Maybe? Everything seems so much easier, but I’m not all too convinced of that. Easier to view pictures and find the potential to meet someone new, but then they “open their mouths” (so to speak,) and a mix of some of the most horrible, amazing, fantastic things are sent my way and I find myself questioning the forward motion of the human race. 

So, of course I vlogged about it. Then, I ended up talking into the camera so much that 4 minutes later, I realized that Tinder is it’s own, very wild beast, and that my views and experiences on and with the app, needed to be a two-parter... or more?

Here is part 1, I hope you enjoy!

Oh and please subscribe to me on YouTube! 

[martinibeerman]

Today, I experienced the height of #FoodPorn #zomg we literally had everything that happiness is made of (except for the lamb and the lobster... In that case.. The happiness is sadly one-sided.) #lamb #rackoflamb #lobster #lobstersalad #ahituna #whatdreamsarmadeof #sodamngood #yum #TheIvy #spoiled #luckygirl #greatmeal #goodtimes #awesomefriendship

[martinibeerman]

I'm officially a published editor and animator! When asked to take a black screen with voices and make something out of nothing, the creative side of me took over and this was born. I pride myself on my ability to take challenges and really push forward with them regardless of what I know at the time or not. This is one of this exciting times where it pays off and 1,000 people from around the world put in the time to comment on my work. I am so excited!!! #justthebeginning #animate #artist #lifegoals #goforit #icandoanything #polarbears #pilar #break #breakdotcom #sleeptalk #sleepy #live #create #explore #inspire check it out here : https://www.facebook.com/Break/videos/10153955840317792/

[martinibeerman]

I literally have no idea what we are laughing about here, but it's so heartfelt and beautiful, I had to repost it. This trip to #costarica for Karen and Kevin's wedding was one of my favorite trips ever! #friendship #laughter #travel #gotravel #girlslovetravel #getout #xplore #befree #feelfree #discovertheworld #surf #sun #beach #beachbabes #hilarious #explore

[martinibeerman]

What Goes Around... Stays Put

I’m not perfect.

There, I said it. I’m not. Though, I’m pretty sure that no two people’s view of “perfect” would align anyway..but even if they did, I’m not that. And I’m okay with that.

I am superstitious. On weird things, karma-esque things, the type of things that you cannot know will or will not happen, but you want to cover your a$$ anyway. And, I have an annoying voice in my ear willing me to do the ‘right’ thing and literally beating me up with anxiety if I even encroach on the the line of questionable.

So, what do you do? Do you live your life worrying about every action you do and the completely unassociated reaction that the universe might send your way for stepping out of line at all? Or do you just say “screw it” I’m going to live my life, I’ll make out with whomever I want, I’ll cut people off in traffic, talk crap about others behind their backs, steal parking spaces, “borrow” and not return things (none of these pertain specifically to me... except maybe the traffic one hahah.) Is sometimes straddling the ethical line devious or is it just plain survival of the fittest? And is there anything out there, with a big bulge of crap, just waiting to sling it your way if you choose to ‘do your own thing?’

Today, I could literally both kick and hug myself at the same time. I had a gift card- I returned an item that a loved one once gave me and felt pretty crappy about doing it. I then decided, the best thing for me to do would be to sell the gift card and get cash for it because I don’t want any of the items available to me at that store anyway..

So, I found Cardpool.com online, set up my transaction and mailed them my gift card. On the shipping, which they provide, are two barcodes. One of them had to be tracking right? WRONG. Nowhere on their email sent with complimentary shipping is anything stating that their shipping did not come with tracking... tracking makes sense when you are shipping a VERY pricey item, right? Silly me... I put my faith in someone else’s hands.

After two days waiting, having sent the item to California from California, I had heard nothing back. I reached out to customer service who said it could take 7 days to arrive... umm... hells no that’s not a real thing! It takes 1 day.  ONE. So, I started researching them on site jabber and the reviews are AWFUL. Granted, I can’t imagine how much business they must do on an ongoing basis, but just this month, someone reported having mailed them a card, sans tracking, and never hearing back from them. Now realizing that no tracking was provided I started to go into high panic mode. Sweating, freaking out and saying to myself - this is the “what comes around part, it has to be!” 

Then I realized, in many ways, I take care of myself. Prior to sending the card to them I took a picture of it. Not just the front, but all of the numbers necessary to purchase an item ONLINE. Being the bright little spark I had failed to be two days earlier, I opted to purchase an item of the exact same value of the card online and it is now being sent to my house. When I choose, I can go back to the store and get another gift card of the same value. I WON. i managed to thwart a potential crime before it happened (hug to me,) but was dumb enough to send a big gift card to a company without even researching them first (major kick in the pants to me too!)

So, phew. I saved me. I got me into something I felt guilty about and then bailed myself right out of it. Maybe just this feeling of complete terror is my ‘what comes around,’ or maybe, just maaaayyybe, it doesn’t even exist.

Here’s hoping!

[martinibeerman]

The Start Of Something Beautiful... Or Crazy..

IT’S HERE, IV’E FINALLY DONE IT!!!!!!!

(And yes, I used caps because in essence I really am screaming.. in my mind at least.) 

The inside of my mind is kind of like what happens when you take a bowl, throw in some lettuce, tomatoes, mushrooms and peppers, and then add a white cat (alive and cute,) some eyebrows, a feather (or 7,000,) a pet rock, endless supplies of chocolate, a spatula, 3 unicorns, a mermaid, 6 fairies (2 of which don’t get along,) a tall and sexy male, used clothing, a slip and slide, 6 dodgeballs (4 of which are foam and 2 of which are rubber,) and a South African accent, then pop on a lid and shake all of that around for about 10 minutes. THAT is what it’s like to be inside my mind... every.single.day.

So why am I internally SCREAMING you may ask???! Well, because I have finally opted to put pieces of everything I do, everything I think and every website I own and run, in ONE location. And, you guessed it my friend, who has now stumbled upon pure magic, THIS is that location. 

The ride will be rocky, exhilarating, educational, sexy, unusual, weird, hilarious and a total thrill. I will lead you down steep passageways one moment, then around a bend to sunlight, only to then be thrust right back into darkness with no idea where you are headed. But trust me on this, it will be worth it. I have your hand, you will be safe every step of the way.

One thing though... in all of my craziness and evil genius ways, I am actually pretty organized. This might very well be why each of my ideas has stayed put on it’s own sweet website, unassociated with one another. I, for the most part, cannot bare the thought of mixing say.. beer and wine (and by that I mean drinking one, then the other...I don’t enjoy it, but sometimes a girls gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.) There is a time for beer (BBQs and hot summer nights) and there is a time for wine (any time.) But, what if I run out of wine (gasp!)..or beer.. and have to switch, what then? Well, I’m an adult dammit, and as uncomfortable as that may make me feel, I will just handle blending the things I think should stand alone. So, in that very same way, this fantastic blog, is going to be a (sometimes) uncomfortable mix of all the aspects of my life, in one place. It may lack organization...And, again, because I am a big  (but not too big,) girl, I will deal with it.. and the most exciting part is.. YOU WILL TOO!

Thank you for joining me on this journey!

<3 Me