do me the honor // cb98 x reader
: ̗̀➛MARTI'S MEGA MASTERLIST* ༉‧₊˚✧
pairing: connor bedard x reader
summary: your ex, connor, and you can't stay away from each other. when attempting to finalize a boundary, the conversation over text... well it quickly turns into an in-person excursion.
warning(s): fluff, exes who can't stay away from each other, emotional turmoil, commitment issues!connor
a/n: thank you for the request to turn the ex texts into a resolution ep! this was so much fun to make. let me know if y'all have anything else you'd like to see (this goes for texts, smau, or imagines in general! check out my list of people i write for.)
y/n.finsta that feeling when connor is actively on his way over to talk things through
user1 girl what are you doing
↳ y/n.finsta i actually don't know anymore
user3 it's giving what are his intentions here
↳ y/n.finsta exactly what i'm attempting to find out
i can’t help the way that my heart races as i wait for connor to arrive.
my heart pounds intensly in my chest, and a wave of chills washes over me from nerves and anticipation.
ideally, he’ll get here and shut down like he always does. that way we can continue with what we’re doing... the carefree, noncommital way that he finds our relationship to be the most enjoyable.
at least there’s no chance of me losing him if that’s what happens.
a piece of my brain catches onto the thought within the quick moment of which it flashes through my mind.
and truly, that’s not a lie.
the entire way i’m willing to sacrifice anything i could possibly need for peace of mind just to barely keep hold of him is something i never thought i’d be able to say about myself.
a knock sounds at my door.
my steps are silent as i approach the barrier between me and possibly the most stressful moment of my entire life.
i pause for a moment, hand gripping the door handle with a pressure that turns my knuckles white.
but that’s the problem after all, isn’t it.
he’s so much more than “just” connor.
i force myself to open the door before i lose the courage completely.
he stand right outside: the same grey sweats he always has on, a random t-shirt like he threw one on just to come over here, hair tousled almost perfectly imperfect...
and a bouquet of flowers in his hands.
for the first time since meeting connor, he actually looks somewhat uncertain.
he’s not overly expressive, so you wouldn’t be able to tell if you didn’t know him that well, but it’s definitely there.
“hi,” my voice sounding small from my lips.
the corner of his mouth tips up the tiniest bit at the simple word. “hey.”
i open the door wider for him, and he hands me the flowers as if to thank me for letting him in. no loud statement to announce the fact that he brought them, no ulterior motives. he just simply brought them because he wanted to.
he goes straight to my kitchen island, knowing my routine well enough to know that i’m headed there first to put the flowers in a vase.
i stand on the opposite side of the counter, mostly avoiding eye contact as i quietly work. “what’s your end goal here?”
i didn’t mean to say it out loud, but we needed to start somewhere. the question had to be asked.
“i want to be with you,” the words lacking any possible doubt. it’s as if he’s never been more sure of anything.
sighing, turning on the sink and filling the crystal vase.
i risk a glance up at him through my eyelashes before quickly redirecting my attention again.
he’s leaning his hip against the island.
stupid fucking sexy pose.
“you’ve made that much clear,” flipping the sink off again and moving to add the flower food pouch into the water. “but how do you want to be with me?”
i know exactly how he wants me.
he wants me just as he has me right now.
“i want to be with you however you want to be with me.”
again with the certainty.
instantly, my eyes snap up, brow raising. there’s no hope that hits me suddenly or anxiety flowing away from me. i’ve done this dance one too many times to get excited now.
“in a relationship, you mean?”
my entire head lifts now, hands disregarding my task to brace the counter as i look at him. unbelieving tone, “really?”
he’s not giving me much to work with here.
my head shakes, and i look down again.
“hm,” beginning to trim the ends of the flowers. “you seem to have had quite the epiphany on the way over here then.”
“i’ve always wanted to be in a relationship with you. i’m just scared.”
everything stalls for a moment.
slowly, my actions continue, and he lets me have this pause of silence.
“what are you so scared of?”
it’s his turn to sigh. i fully expect him to shut down, seeing as this is typically the moment that he would.
instead, he presses on, “not being enough... or being too much. of losing you. of trying to make this work, and then hurting you when things get hard.”
he actually... said something real.
something that i wouldn’t be able to just pick up from his expression or read about him online.
snipping the ends of the stems, sinking each flower slowly into the water, “you do realize that the only difference between what we’re doing now and what i want is the label, right? it doesn’t change our relationship dynamic, our schedules, or anything else. it just gives me peace of mind.”
i can see him rub his arm out of my peripheral, a nervous tick of his.
“i just don’t want to let you down.”
i place the last flower in the vase and look up at him for real this time. not a peek or a short glance. i truly look at him.
“connor, relationships aren’t perfect. all i want from you is love and support. i don’t need you to be anything more than connor. i don’t want anything else... i want you.”
he blinks as if my words astound him, as if he can’t fathom anyone just wanting him for him.
but i know he sees it in my expression.
“so that’s it? all that changes is that i’m officially your boyfriend?”
i nod, the quiet gesture almost symbolizing the seamless transition in our relationship.
his brows furrow deeply now, suddenly confused.
“well, why didn’t we do this a long time ago then?”
scoffing at him, “you say that like i hadn’t brought it up a million times.”
he smiles, shrugging, “you never said it was this easy.”
“you never let me get that far in our conversations.”
a blush forms on his cheeks, and he rounds the island to cage me against the counter.
“sorry about that, baby,” his voice softer now that he’s so close to me.
“not so fast,” putting a firm hand on his chest, not letting him get out of this without offically asking the question.
his hands move from the edge of the counter to my waist, “what?”
his dimples deepen as he realizes, a small instinctual nod hitting him.
“ohhh,” smiling more now. he squeezes my waist gently, leaning in slowly to kiss right below my ear.
“would you do me the absolute honor,” pausing to show some love to the other side of my neck as well, “of being my girlfriend... please?”
my face is burning up, and a tiny smile meets my lips as he leans back to look at me.
“of course... boyfriend.”
a groan escapes him, and his lips are on mine within a second.
mumbling against my mouth, “you can definitely call me that again... girlfriend.”
