i like to obsess over queer media :0

she/they

[madronash]

Since Becca is a writer and had a traumatic childhood...what books do you think she was obsessed with as a teen?

This is such a great question, anon!

And so difficult. I consulted with an expert on this topic, @anandabrat, who noted that Annie On My Mind came out in 1982. So I think young Becca read that and read that and wore it out and bought Cam a new copy to read when she did.

Later she finds Rubyfruit Jungle and Oranges Aren't the Only Fruit.

But she's also finding the angsty teen boys and men of the earlier 20th century. Cat's Cradle, Catcher in the Rye, The Sun Also Rises, Red Sky at Morning.

We also decided she would have a Sylvia Plath phase, and a Virginia Woolf phase. If you're going to write, you've got to be voracious. Orlando might appeal to Becca. She'd get into June Jordan maybe, Adrienne Rich.

Younger Becca read a lot of Katherine Patterson.

Older Becca finds Margaret Atwood, and in college she finds Alice Munro. Too obvious?

[martyfromgiant]

obsessed is too casual of a word for the becca being obsessed with jeanette winterson specifically oranges are not the only fruit headcannon

[harrietdyker]

again gonna write a general post about this point because I’m getting a few messages in the same vain and it makes more sense to me to respond this way. Sorry this is a very direct post but it only discusses what the show discusses so I’m not putting any specific trigger warnings.

Rebecca might not have killed Gabe but she told him to fuck off when he needed help and he died (“fell” is vague enough as to the reasons behind the death). This is a decision she made as a kid and she has to live with. This decision is her fault. That is the last thing she ever told her brother. She regrets it.

Reena lied about her dad. That is a decision she made as a kid. That was her fault. She regretted it. She was murdered before she could truly reconcile with her family.

Reena’s family lost their daughter before they could truly reconcile with her. They all made decisions in their interactions with her that they regret. They all also made a decision against revenging her death. They have to live with this loss for the rest of their lives.

A bunch of kids made the decision to brutally attack a girl that some of them didn’t even know. Some of them were her friends. Dusty participated in that assault against her friend, this is a decision she made as a kid and regrets and has to live with for the rest of her life. Warren helped drag Reena into the water, this is a decision he made as a kid and regrets and has to live with for the rest of his life. Every single kid there made this decision and will have to live with it for the rest of their lives. Including Jo and Kelly. They all respond differently but they all made the same decision.

I’m not saying any of these things is equal and that the show tells you to feel sorry for violent kids, I’m saying these are all decisions we ALL could make every day, these are consequences we ALL could end up facing, and we will have to live with that for the rest of our lives. The questions the show asks are how do we live with that, what do we do now, how do we make sure our kids learn to make the right decision, how do we make sure we learn to make the right decisions?

Guilt is not something we can always brush away and say it wasn’t our fault in order to heal. Sometimes we are guilty and we still need to heal. how do we do that?

Cam’s place in this conversation is also interesting and important but it’s a different post to make so. I’m leaving her out of this one.

Hope this makes sense.

[bitsy-rouge-is-buggin]

My only hope for the finale...

Cam packing her car as she gets ready to leave for Vancouver. Rebecca is watching her with her hands in her pockets.

Cam: "So what are you going to do now? Head back to New York? Disappear off the face of the Earth again?"

Rebecca: "Nah. Probably stick around here for a little bit. Finish my book."

Cam: "Then what?"

Rebecca: "I don't know. But I hear Vancouver is nice."

[unreliableforecasts]

i want to bite her nose

[swiftlyqueer]

Lily and Riley both delivered award worthy performances indeed tonight. Tonight’s episode of ‘Under The Bridge’ was hard because there’s so many layers to it.

Becca sees Gabe in Warren and she thinks she can fix him and by doing so it would take the pain/guilt she’s left with over Gabe’s death and how she blames herself.

Cam views things differently because she’s sees herself in Reena. The comments about her own background, her brother/dad both being ignorant about the overall situation doesn’t help.

I think it was important to see Cam draw a line with Becca as I even think Becca will come to realize that she was indeed wrong in trying to defend and protect Warren… I hope she can come to terms with her issues about Gabe’s death in the next episodes.

Another layer to the overall storyline that pains me a bit , while watching the show is thinking that Riley (who lost her own brother in real life) channels some of that emotion into her acting as well.

[harrietdyker]

Rebecca looking at Cam Under the Bridge

[bonkobarnes]

I’m not sure how to articulate this well but I feel like Becca struggles to understand Cam’s hesitancy to accept being queer because Becca is accepted in a lot of spaces. Whereas for Cam, no matter where she goes, she will always be Other. Cam is queer and indigenous and the spaces in which she can be both are few and far between

[nakedmonkey-deactivated20250904]

What if it was the 90's and we fucked nasty in a bar bathroom and we were both girls

[goodobservationshirley]

(x) @harrietdyker you can't just say that and not provide the people with the proof

[royalarmyofoz]

Moments Rebecca and Cam were taking care/looking out for each other UNDER THE BRIDGE Bonus:

[limitedseries]

Riley Keough and Lily Gladstone as Rebecca and Cam Under the Bridge (2024)— "Blood Oath"

[pozimek]

Please add credit if you repost outside of tumblr!

[martyfromgiant]

sorry i actually can’t hang out, i have to go watch season 5 episode 22 of castle, write sad poetry, and cry myself to sleep…

[martyfromgiant]

to lose you in life

in my mind i was going to lose her and i had to decide if i wanted to lose her in life or in death

i saw her beautiful, delicate life being placed in my trembling hands

full of uncertainty and fear,

so scared i would drop it,

accidentally let it slip,

that her life would shatter into a million tiny pieces all littered around me,

that i would be alone to pick them up,

one by one,

piece by piece as they cut into my fingers,

edges razor sharp,

the blood seeping down my arms,

as i realized my best friend was gone,

my blood mixing with the tears that ran down my cheeks

her memory scattered around as tiny shimmering shards of glass sparkled in the sun,

shone bright to the world,

scattering rainbows all around,

but to me,

i only saw red,

the deep crimson of my blood smudged over the gleaming crystal

a memory of my frantic, hopeless attempt to put her back together,

but she was gone,

i had lost her in death,

and all that remained were the deep scars and lingering glitter of her memory

but instead, i lost her in life,

still there but never the same,

the pain and suffering always right behind her eyes,

giving them a gloss that only shone to me

as close as always but somehow further than ever,

present but not really there,

i see people all around, but never in my life have i felt so alone

alone without her smile that could brighten any room

i had lost her in life,

she felt so far away,

so much further than 6 feet under

they never talk about this “gone”

this gone so full of loneliness

but there she stood before me every day

this gone with the cold stares and silent treatment

this gone with the long texts and endless tears

they never tell you that this gone leaves scars much deeper than those made leaving flowers in front of stone, than the tear streaks and lost sleep

to lose you in life was to leave those wounds open,

never quite healing right

to lose you in life was to think fondly of your warmth, knowing i won’t feel it again

to lose you in life is to live with myself and the knowledge i have lost you forever

and, when it’s quiet, to lose you in life is to face the voice that whispers to me,

asking if it would have been easier

to lose you in death.

[martyfromgiant]

christmas time is so lovely bc i get so many comfort fics from so many amazing writers

[martyfromgiant]

a little something i wrote when i lost someone important to me. idk if you could call this poetry but i called it these summer nights:

how i hoped to spend these summer nights with you

cool and quiet with the gentlest of breezes

the setting sun lighting us up yellow and gold as we laugh and smile

how i wanted to forget the worries of the outside world for a few moments with you

i wished to gaze at the stars as they slowly dotted the sky after sunset

like tiny holes being poked in a curtain draped above our heads

the moon steady and bright casting shadows on your smile

we’d spend hours gazing at the stars through my telescope like we always said we would

we’d relive that night at kerr when we gazed at the moon and spent time goofing around on the basketball courts before running back to my car giggling, hands and noses freezing

i was so excited to lose myself in you, in your eyes, your melodic laugh, your smile

i wanted to feel so at peace and in so much joy like i had found my place

i realize now that these things will never, can never happen

not anymore

not after how you so carelessly played with my heart

the light in me dimmed ever so slightly

and despite moving on and realizing what our relationship meant

i can’t help but mourn the loss of the dreams i had for these summer nights

i suppose i’ll have to find another to spend these moments with

another smile to mirror mine

someone else to feel the warm breeze with as the sky slowly fades to darkness

but no one really feels the same as you

laughs at my jokes like you do

makes me smile even when i think it’s impossible in the moment

but now that dream has faded

can no longer be reached

i will never get to experience one of these summer nights with you

all i can do it think of you

of the times we could have shared

but now, sitting in the houston twilight with someone new

i can’t help but dream about what it would be like to spend these summer nights

with you

[martyfromgiant]

it’s odd to me, that i still find being queer difficult and isolating these days. you’d think with how accepting and open minded people are these days, everything would be sunshine and rainbows. but it isn’t. it’s still hard. i still feel alone despite being surrounded by a fair amount of other queer people. maybe it’s because i have no one in my life that strongly relates to me. the population of lesbians my age in my suburban town is somewhat small. very very small. no one else seems to want to talk about these issues, talk about the new queer media and everything about it.

my life in my queerness is not close to the worst it could be by any means. i have accepting family and friends and i’m in an area that is more or less accepting. sure i come across a few assholes but who doesn’t? but no one my age wants to spend hours and hours talking about aloto and killing eve and other groundbreaking queer media. the losses i feel when my beloved characters die, i face alone. i can scroll through tik tok and twitter and tumblr but it’s not the same as talking to someone about everything. someone my age who has the same interests i do. sure i don’t experience homophobia, but not having fellow queer people and lesbians who want to dive into these worlds is so difficult. tumblr has become my only real connection to people like me who could talk about these little gay shows for hours and hours. a place where i can share my feelings and be passionate without a fear of judgement from the people around me. it’s nice to know other people get obsessed like i do.

it doesn’t change the fact, however, that i have no tangible connection to my lesbian identity where other people feel the same as i do (don’t get me started on how much of a pain ass it has made dating).

the problems and oppression we face is by no means gone. that lonely world out there and a life without acceptance is still there, creeping up on us every so often, knocking us back down a peg and “putting us in our place” so to speak. but in this much more common accepting and open world, there is still a little pocket, a corner, if you will, of that same loneliness. that feeling deep down that people don’t truly understand you, that you will be judged for exploring and expressing your interests. yes i’m surrounded by queer people and allies, but am i surrounded by people interested in fighting this fight, people who will embrace me, people who will share these new exciting pieces of media with me? no, i can’t necessarily say i am. fighting the assholes around you is only half the battle. fighting the inner loneliness and the voice telling you you’re not enough or crazy for your interests, is a very present and very demanding other half of the fight.

so i resort to pouring my heart and soul out on this platforms in my silly little blog posts feeling my heart explode with each like, comment, and reblog i get, showing someone out there feels the way i do. there’s truly nothing like it and makes my obsession and passion feel a little more validated and my connection to the queer community a little stronger.