Don’t give people that hurt you power by wanting to be angry at them or feeling emotions towards them
When your trauma has become a physical walking being and you have to face it in so many ways, it becomes something you want to escape or avoid.
It pains me in so many ways to see this person
The grief and heartache he put me through
Most of me doesn’t care, but there’s this small part of me that wants to see him unhappy
I want him to feel the sadness that I did
The suicidal thoughts that weren’t even because of him, but we hurt each other because we were both going through something
The bruises that were left behind
The words we spoke, the trust we lost from other people
Using it as a we means that I still do let this person have some power over me I suppose, but I have tried for so long to just let it go
It’s easier to avoid and ignore when I have to deal with you
Some part of me hates you so much
Some part of me wants you to be happy and hope that you’ve grown up
Other parts of me just want to tell you how I felt, even though we’ve already talked about that. You told me it was stupid to let me go and it was the worst mistake of your life. And I believed you. I still believe you you’ve said it so many times.
That was 6 years ago now and I can hear you saying that, driving into town after I had left the person I was with. You were with someone, but I didn’t care. I wanted to hurt you and the person I just left.
I was selfish. And I hurt you. Just like you hurt me.
So every time I see you now, trauma, you’re with a different person always trying to replace me. It won’t ever happen and I’m not coming back.
I see you look at me, I see you look at him.
Trauma, we have said our goodbyes and I have no interest in coming back.
I will move far away as to not have to face you again.
Here you live too close. Here there has been too much that has happened.
I can’t stand the way you look at me and think that we are just ok with each other.
We can’t be friends. We can’t even be near each other.
Don’t look at him, don’t look at me.
Trauma, you’re a fucking idiot.
stormborns
vaporwave
