Stan the Water Man Character Descriptions
For the people just getting into the Stan the Water Man series
Stan(iel) Elizabeth Wheeler (Stan the Water Man):
-Ex-wife Denise was cheating on him with a French-Canadian man named Fredrique (and many other men that worked/showed up at their house)
-Has a (non-biological) son named Roy the Water Boy
-39 year-old virgin
-Obviously bisexual
-Runs a water delivery company called Stan the Water Man’s Friendly Water Delivery Service (The “Friendly” part was inspired by Jimmy)
-Can’t talk to women properly (except for Kiki)
-Terrible at flirting
-Pisses a lot (especially in Jimmy’s car)
-Pretty much turns into Darkiplier whenever he takes oxy (and scares the crap out of Jimmy)
-Can’t keep secrets
-Was in a coma the first four hours he was in Los Santos
-Argues with the voices in his head 24/7
-Has random muscle spasms and seizures across his entire body (usually ends with hitting Jimmy in the face)
-Hates anything that isn’t water (coffee=the devil’s juice)
Jimmy/Jimothy Bending (Friendly J):
-Nicest crack dealer in Los Santos
-Forced into prostitution by Alabaster Slim (bitch-slapped with baby powder)
-Prostitute name is Velvet Aurora
-Lowkey afraid of dogs (and of Stan taking oxy)
-GAY
-Always looks out for Stan no matter what
-Calls Stan “sunflower”
-Refuses to give Stan crack and offers to pay off his debt so he doesn’t end up like him (crack dealer/addict, prostitute, criminal)
-“I’ve only known Stan for a day and a half but if anything happened to him I’d kill everyone in this room and then myself” energy
-Gives awful relationship advice
-Gives good sex advice (safe sex, LGBTQ+ sex, how some people (aces) don’t like sex and that’s perfectly okay)
-The best boy
-Possibly a furry
Kiki Chanel:
-Deputy of the Los Santos Division of Fashion and Fabric
-Trans-Pacific Railway
-Pronouns: chug and choo
-Thinks she got blown off by Stan after he got into a coma
-Very masculine
-“BLOURGGH- BLOUUGH-!!!”
-Toxic feminist
-Father abandoned her
-Supposedly went through a goth phase in high school
-“HOOWWWW DAAARE YOOOUUU!”
Aaaand that’s pretty much it (for the main characters at least)
I hope this was helpful
#dangerous
