𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄

MATTHEW STATON BOMER-CRISS. Actor. Singer. Dancer. Director. Triple-threat plus a little extra. Not a professional stripper, much to people's disappointment. Proud father to three kids (two more coming soon) and a fluffball called Wookie. LGBT rights activist, Distant cousin to Justin Timberlake. Vowed to spend forever with Darren Bomer-Criss on September 30, 2019. ( var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5638498"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=&e2=&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write(""); )

[mattbomercriss]

‘Perrie? —— I had no idea you were back! Hi.’

@perrieedwardsbb​​

[mattbomercriss]

cbbjasonmomoa:

“Always knew Orlando Bloom was to blame for everything, nobody should be that gorgeous.”

‘He’s even better in person. It was hard holding a conversation with him sometimes. — Kind of obnoxious though.’

[mattbomercriss]

cbbjasonmomoa:

“Well fuck I missed out,”

‘You did. I’m not sure what happened to cause us to lose it, but the main rumour says we should all blame Orlando Bloom.’ 

[mattbomercriss]

cbbhennig:

Yup! Nearly a whole decade old which is terrifying on so many levels. They still cause trouble, they’re just bigger and louder feet. She’s got the preteen stomp down pat at this point. We’re old Matt, both of our kids have some how gone from tiny to full on human beings and that’s stressful. How’s everything going with that? Everything all good? I’m sure it’s both exciting and stressful just waiting for someone else to have your babies.

Gosh, how did that happen? — Not that I should be surprised. I’m a father to three teenagers now, which is.. I’m not sure there’s even a word for what that is. We probably shouldn’t have any playdates for a while. With her pre-teen stomp and my twins’ door-slamming tendencies, It sounds like they’d all be menaces together. — It’s going well! Running a little behind schedule. They were due a week ago. I think we owe Stef a lot of gift baskets once all this is over. I’m doing okay though. Darren is keeping me sane. 

[mattbomercriss]

cbbjasonmomoa​:

“Wait you had a fucking beach?”

‘A beach, and a restaurant.’

[mattbomercriss]

bbMessenger | Joe

JoeKeery: That's interesting. Usually people say they're getting as much rest as they can before the bundle comes, now I'm curious as to how effective your method will be. Congrats though.

JoeKeery: It was a general marvel trailer but stan lee's voice over is what really got me because I'm an embarrassing sap.

MATT: I’ve already had three kids. Darren hasn’t. I want to be extra prepared to help him through the shock.

MATT: There was a Stan Lee voiceover??

[mattbomercriss]

bbMessenger | Joe

JoeKeery: So am I the only one up at the ass crack of dawn and tearing up at the new marvel studios trailer or are you normal?

MATT: I was up early, but it wasn’t for that. I’m trying to prepare myself for those sleepless nights now that Darren and I are expecting twins. We’re in for quite a ride.

MATT: What was the new trailer?

MATT: I’m sure my eldest son woke up to watch it.

[mattbomercriss]

cbbhennig​:

My kid turned nine this week and it’s going me all kind of fucked up. I feel so old! I even told her I was feeling old and she had the audacity to say, “You’re not getting any younger mom, you promised me a brother or sister one day and you’re running out of time.” Okay Lucy, thank you for making feel sooo much better about this whole aging thing. I truly feel so much better after that chat. Not. Anyone know of any good sperm banks I can check out? I should probably stick to quality candidates and not the college guys who sell sperm to get beer money for the weekend. I’m kidding… kind of… I haven’t decided yet if that’s something I’m ready to do. Anyway — someone please help me feel young and hip and fun again!​

Mini Hennig is nine? — I don’t believe it. It feels like only yesterday her tiny feet were running around the Big Brother resort and causing mischief. I realise using sayings like ‘it feels like only yesterday’ cements my own mature age, but. I mean every word. Sometimes I feel as though I’ve blinked and missed a few years. I, uh. I don’t know any sperm banks. But I am a bit of an expert in all this surrogacy. I went a little overboard when Darren and I agreed to have kids, and stuck my head into every book I could find. I’m not sure us going through that will help you feel neither young nor hip though.

[mattbomercriss]

cbbjasonmomoa​:

Jason relaxed back against the sun longer, taking a long draw from his joint, before he exhaled Eyes skirted the landscape as he noticed someone walk up behind him. “Say what you want, big has a hell of a eye for views.” 

‘That it does. I do still miss the resort we used to have though. That came with a beach.’

[mattbomercriss]

darrenthecriss​:

So, my brother gave me this super adorable book with Broadway baby names (named after the iconic Sondheim song) last weekend and I’m so in love with it, even though it’s super late. My niece and nephew got kind of obsessed with it and ended up bombarding me with Disney suggestions all day. They definitely get an A+ for their creativity and effort, but something tells me calling those little monsters (or watermelons, as that’s how big they are right now) Mushu & Cricket or Beauty & The Beast wouldn’t be entirely appropriate. But now I totally want to hear what kind of epic duo name combinations my housemates come up with, so bring it on. Give me those names. Please distract me before I start fussing over Stef again, because I’m starting to feel like she’s trying really hard not to punch me.

Have I mentioned lately how much I adore Chuck Criss? Because that sounds like the best baby name book ever. I can’t believe we haven’t flicked through it before. —— Mushu and Cricket. Interesting. I would’ve steered more towards Flounder and Sebastian, but that’s probably because Kit adored the Little Mermaid when he was younger. We used to watch it on repeat. What about.. — Thing 1 and Thing 2? Easy to remember. Could probably get confusing though. Uh, Riggs and Murtaugh? Doc and Marty?

[mattbomercriss]

bbMessenger | Jack

JACK: Aye ya lil O'Connell is officially of the market

MATT: I'm so happy for you. That's wonderful news.

[mattbomercriss]

bbMessenger | Princess Di

DI: No more crying from me now I promise, things are a lot better

MATT: I'm glad, but I wouldn't mind either way. My shoulders are always here for you to lean on.

[mattbomercriss]

bbMessenger | Princess Di

DI: Just wanted to say thank you for listening to me the other day

DI: I'm sorry I did that

MATT: Never apologise for needing someone to lean on from time to time. That’s what friends are for always.

[mattbomercriss]

bbMessenger | Jack

JACK: Ya proud I finally grew the balls ta do summit bout Cami?

MATT: The proudest. Does this mean you two are officially together?

[mattbomercriss]

mattbomercriss: Another Valentine’s Day with this one. All these years together and I still can’t believe I’m lucky enough to call you my husband. One month to go, darling. 👶👶 @darrenthecriss

[mattbomercriss]

darrenthecriss:

God, I still can’t believe it, and I honestly can’t wait to spoil them. Is it bad that I was tempted to already buy something for them this year?

Not at all. I think it’s good to plan ahead, especially on a budget. We’ve got two sets of twins to buy for now after all, not to mention a teenager. 

[mattbomercriss]

cbb-jeremyallenwhite:

“There was me hoping it would get better as they got older, but then again I think it’s part of being a parent. Doesn’t matter if your kids a few days old or fifty, you’ll always worry. Or that’s what my mom tells me. I agree, despite the extra wrinkles I’m getting from worry, it’s so fucking worth it. That’s adorable, hope you are waiting on her hand on foot.”

‘That’s exactly what it’s like to be a parent. My eldest is a pretty sensible teenager and I still worry about him everyday. They might get older, but they never stop being little to us.           Oh, I am. Darren too. The poor woman can’t even sneeze without both of us at her side to offer a tissue. She’ll be sick of us by the time this is all over.’