The Chew

Friend of all things doofy, floofy, and full of pun. Future film critic. Penguin enthusiast.

[mattchewo]

Shameless

[starscream-moved-blog]

[alisonzai]

[alisonzai]

[weloveshortvideos]

[gondwana]

this cat is VERY small and VERY round, 10/10

[gyey]

unbelievble

[iraffiruse]

[mattchewo]

That escalated quickly

[animalrates]

baby animals here

[nidoqueen]

when your feelings get hurt but you gotta stay strong

[gifaknet-deactivated20181110]

[mattchewo]

2 spoopy

[skrillykoala]

[actualdogvines]

[arreityentirb]

[mattchewo]

@dishonest-angel

[earthlynation-blog]

Lick Lick Lick. Photos via imgur

[acronymed-deactivated20250724]

friendly reminder that leia has lost her adoptive parents, entire planet, father, husband, son and been abandoned by her brother and yet has never been tempted by the dark side even once

take notes skywalker boys ya’ll weak as shit

[actualdesmondmiles]

i sent this photo to one of my friends 

with the caption ‘motherfuckin bubbles. you best envy me’ 

and all he did was reply with ‘ARE YOU NAKED????’

i was like, ‘what??????????no???’

‘who the fuck takes a bath naked are you mad ???’

[eminemisnotverytalented]

[mattchewo]

Whoa...

[funnystories]

Funny Story

Ok so for the past few weeks my school’s band has been selling chocolate for a fundraiser. My best friend just so happens to be in the band so, naturally, I contribute to about 80% of her chocolate sales. Now this chocolate is some really good stuff. I usually buy at least one bar every day, particularly because I love the little snapping sound it makes when you break a piece off. I call it the chocolate snap. I have two incidents with the chocolate snap that will forever live on in infamy in my friend group.

The first happened about a week into the sales. I had just discovered my love for the chocolate snap and I guess wanted to express my love to everyone else. So I, being the weirdo I am, get really close to my best friend’s face, and in the sweetest little voice said “snap~” just as I broke a piece off. My friends thought this was just the best thing since sliced bread and quickly started cracking jokes about how I probably said that as I broke someone’s neck (we kind of have a darker sense of humor).

The very next day is when the second incident happened. I bought my daily chocolate and decided I wasn’t ready to let the joke die just yet. I break a piece off and say “snap~” in the same way I did the day before. But there was no snap. I stared down at the chocolate in, what I thought, was mock horror (apparently it looked pretty genuine). I slowly turned to my best friend, looked her dead in the eye, and in the most serious voice said “Your chocolate betrays me” all while keeping the straightest of faces. According to my friends, it was terrifying.

[punky-rooster]