I bet nobody can remember what color eyes are on my face ; i'm a freak, i'm a PRETENDER ; i never really had a place. matthew james hessman. thirty-nine. handyman.
It was taking nearly everything in Nora’s power not to simply cling to the side of Elias or Piper for the entire evening. They were the people that she felt closest to. The people that she trusted. And as much as she loved her niece, it hardly felt right for her to spend the entire evening with an eighteen year old and her friends. Nora knew that she would need to branch out eventually… and it couldn’t be that painful… could it? Despite the neighborhood’s closeness, there had to be some way for her to push her way through and enjoy herself, and perhaps even to make a friend. “The Ashworths really did a phenomenal job planning this, didn’t they?” she asked the person standing closest to her. “I’ve heard Emily’s events are to die for, but this really is the first one I’ve actually been able to go to. – Are you close with the Ashworths?”
@matthessman
If Matthew were to be honest, he would simply say that he was not enjoying the ball. Not because the party was bad, but because he was not making the slightest effort to get out of his shell. Somehow, his usual radiant and friendly persona wasn't really there and that was definitely making him feel out of place. Fortunately, he found comfort in the drink he had just grabbed by the bar. He was about to take a sip when he heard a not-so-familiar voice talking to him. He looked to his side and saw a brown-haired woman; he didn't know her but he could notice that she was as uncomfortable as him. A little chat would probably be fun for both of them. "Yeah... Everything looks great." He agreed, glancing over the room for some seconds before looking at the woman again. "Actually, no. It's my first time here too. I moved back a couple weeks ago and I hadn't had the chance to meet them. But I think they are probably very known around here. I mean... Just look at everything around you. People are loving it." He said, offering her a friendly smile.
If Piper had learnt anything in the last year, it was that firsts were hard. She’d often thought that firsts could only mean good things, they could only be beginnings. First smile, first steps, first kisses, other first things. However, apparently firsts could also be endings. She had thought Christmas would be the hardest, and it had been, and she wasn’t exactly looking forward to her birthday in just a few weeks. However, she hadn’t even thought of Valentine’s day, her first alone in years. Apparently she hadn’t allowed herself to think about the day solely dedicated to romance, perhaps she’d known it would be too hard. No preparation could have prepared her for it. There had been no flowers that morning, no chocolates, no card. For the first time ever she had paid thirty dollars instead of fifty and she was walking into the Ashworth ball alone - she’d only agreed to come this year to support her friend. And then, a glimmer of hope. Not a big one, it didn’t stop her heart, but she did smile wide when she noticed Matthew on the other side of the room. “Hello there stranger,” She greeted as she approached, head tilted to the side as she teased him, “I go twenty one years without even a phone call and now I’m seeing you everywhere.” Granted they lived on the same street now.
He had never thought of himself like the type of person that would go to a ball; especially, a Valentine’s Day one. Matthew had never celebrated that day. He didn’t even see what was so special about it. He was always an apologist of the “if you love someone you don’t wait for Valentine’s Day to show them that” crap; even though he never had a serious person he would want to spend Valentine’s Day with, that was his view. But, there he was, with thirty dollars less in his wallet, standing in that room full of well-dressed people and regretting ever making that decision. That could only be his stress talking; after all, a ball was the perfect distraction for him.
But, just when he was about to leave his safe spot and give up on all the romantic crap to go grab a drink, he saw her. Piper Erikson Rhodes was walking towards him in what seemed to be the prettiest dress he had ever seen. Suddenly, he fixed his posture and took his hands to that stupid and basic tie he was wearing. He just wished there was a big mirror in front of him so that he could decide what to do with his hands.
“Twenty-one?! Are you sure about that number? That feels like a lot more than it actually looks like.” He said, smiling gently at her. “At least, for one of us.” He rested his hands in his pockets, looking at the woman with a peculiar look on his face. For some reason, seeing her after so many years still felt strange. Actually, coming back to Fairview still felt strange. Everything was so different but, at the same time, everything was just like he remembered.
“So... Are you enjoying the ball?” The question slipped through his lips with a weird and awkward tone that was unusual for him; but a tone that could be justified by his shy side, one that had been more evident ever since he saw Piper for the first time after so many years. For some reason, he was always second-guessing what to say around her now. “Should I tell her that she looks beautiful or would that be creepy?” was a thought that definitely proved that shyness.
“i’m a freak, i’m a pretender,
i never really had a place”
On May 7th 1981, the desperate screams of a twenty-six year old Grace Hessman were heard through every corridor of that usually quiet hospital as she gave birth to her first and only child. The little boy would be named Matthew as a sweet tribute to his maternal grandfather, who had passed away the year before. In an ironic way, when growing up, the boy would be just like his grandpa. Friendly, nice, almost funny... He made everyone smile at all times and he loved the attention family members would give him because of it.
That was until his teenage years. At the age of fifteen, a wave of boredom seemed to have run through him. Now, the only joy he felt was when he would be with his paternal grandparents or chat with his friends. Other than that, no one could get a hold on him.
It wasn’t long until the boy started hearing the joke of “he just needs a girl to cheer him up”; his uncles and aunts were very quick when it came to that. He would just roll his eyes. He didn’t need that. He never wanted that. In his eyes, relationships were boring. A big example of that were his parents. He would always wonder how they even tolerated each other after so many years of what seemed to be the most unsweetened marriage. They were mediocre and, for some reason, he was the only one who could actually notice that. It wouldn’t take much to predict how that boy would deal with romantic feelings for the rest of his life. And, because of that, it was a surprise when he brought home a high school girlfriend, at the age of seventeen. Arthur and Grace couldn’t even hide their confusion. Somehow, their boy wasn’t a total hater when it came to romance.
The fact he brought a girlfriend home was just the beginning of his “wild years”. The boy who had been very closed off was once again friendly. His mood wasn’t so grumpy anymore and his mother, being a teacher in the school he studied at, couldn’t help but observe him at lunch breaks and wonder how he could have changed so much in so little time.
That exact thought crossed her mind once again when he was eighteen. Matthew had just randomly expressed that he wanted to try joining the Air Force after high school. He received his parents’ confused glances that night. After all, that was the first time they were hearing something like that from him. Not to mention the fact that he had never really been exposed to or expressed interest in military activities; they didn’t even know if those existed! It was a complete shock. But, eventually, the idea grew in their minds. Their son was polite, brave and pretty much independent. He would do well and they didn’t really need to worry about anything. He would deal with everything in his own way.
And, just after high school, he happily pursued his dream. The Hessman boy got out of town and made everything to reach his goal.
And he eventually did. At least, for about ten years.
At the age of thirty-two, after a career dedicated to the maintenance and repair area, he decided to retire from the Air Force due to a work accident that earned him some weeks in the hospital.
After that, Matthew moved to Colorado. He lived in Estes Park, a quiet town surrounded by mountains. There, he took the opportunity to become a handyman; which, for him, was the easiest and best decision to make, considering his situation. It didn’t take long for him to start loving his new routine. After all, his new job was easy and rewarding and the place he was living in was a dream for him.
And that love for his new life lasted for some years. Weeks after he turned thirty-nine, he returned to Fairview after his parents moved form their old house. He made the decision to renovate the house he grew up in and, after a couple of weeks of staying in a nearby hotel, he finally moved in. That would’ve been a great thing if the town wasn’t going through such a chaotic event; but he could definitely say that about his mind too.
His thoughts were messy in the month of december. After hearing the news of Rose Moore, he got the news of his own parenthood. He couldn’t say he was shocked. After some nights out and a couple of casual encounters that weren’t really thought of, that wasn’t something he could be shocked about. He had not been careful and he knew it. Now, he had to deal with... That.
And it was killing him inside. He never expected that to happen to him but, somehow, he was excited. Even though Matt didn’t actually plan something like that, it was always a wish of him. Of course, raising a child is hard, it takes effort and patience, but he was still excited. A little Hessman seemed like the extra piece to his life. It was like a bonus ingredient. An ingredient that wasn’t mandatory to bake a cake, but one that makes the cake even greater. Maybe, just maybe, that was all he needed in his life, at that moment. A bonus ingredient in the form of a child.
But he couldn’t help feeling worried. What type of dad would he be? His mind would instantly say “a bad one” and he couldn’t deny that something like that would make sense. He never really had a good role model to start with. His father was always at work, for some reason. And Matthew refused to settle down with someone. His fear of becoming mediocre just like his parents was always gonna be bigger than any love he could possibly feel for someone. At least, that’s what he thought. That’s what made sense.
With thoughts like that racing through his mind, the only thing he could think about was to hide those news caused by his drunk and irresponsible acts on some random night. After all, if no one knew, no one could gossip about it. But how long can he actually hide something like that?
Send ✉ for an 2 AM text
Send ✘ for an unsent text
Send ☠ for a threatening message
Send ❤ for a lusty/loving/affectionate message
Send ♣ for a drunk message
Piper felt him looking over her, and a silly part of her hoped that it was with the same fondness - or perhaps more than that - that he’d watched her with in their youth. She knew it was unlikely. It had been twenty years, she wasn’t eighteen anymore and nor was he. It was more likely that he hadn’t thought of her since the days he’d left behind in Fairview. It was more realistic that he was looking at all the ways she’d changed, how she’d grown, and that he was perhaps not doing it with the same admiration that she currently was as she allowed her eyes to subtly roam over Matthew.
If there was a stain on his shirt or a hair not perfectly fixed or even a messily rolled up cuff on one arm, she didn’t notice. He was somehow so different and yet so familiar, so very clearly not the boy she’d last seen and yet so like him that she could immediately feel a connection. Or that was just her romantic mind joining together dots that should be left isolated.
“You’re about twenty years and a divorce too late.” Her laughter might have seemed a little forced, sometimes she wondered if there would ever be a day in which she was okay with joking about the horrific way her marriage had ended. If that day was ever getting closer or if it truly would never come. It was then that she realised she knew nothing about who Matthew was. She didn’t know if he had a wife, children, a dog. She knew very little but the basics about what he’d been doing since he left Fairview. It wasn’t that she didn’t care, and she certainly hadn’t avoided the Hessmans in all the time she’d spent on their lane, but she’d simply polite and they’d been to her. They smiled and asked about how days had been and complimented how her daughter had grown to be a fine young woman. But she’d never been able to bring herself to ask about their son. The same way she couldn’t seem to bring herself to look down at his left hand. Still she forced herself to ask. “But what about you? Is there a Mrs Hessman who knows all about our embarrassing stories?” She certainly still laughed as she looked back on a few of them, part of her was hopeful that he did too.
Her eyes flickered across the lane to said house where she’d once spent far-too-short weekends in her high school boyfriend’s backyard, or the porch where they would sit between the end of school hours and being forced to do homeworks. “Yeah, it wouldn’t be right being empty,” She almost whispered the words before her focus turned away from the Hessman house and back to her ex-boyfriend. “I think you were right to come back too,” She agreed, accompanied by a nod and a small smile, “Things are a little strange, but soon we’ll be back to normal. Wisteria Lane hasn’t really changed that much.”
Upon hearing Piper's words, the man took some time to respond. After all, how did anyone respond to that? He wasn't quick enough to hide the surprise that soon came over his face.
"Oh... Well, I'm really sorry about that." He said, looking at the woman as he tried to disguise the surprise she had surely already noticed. Suddenly, a silence interrupted the conversation; one that Matthew couldn't really differentiate. It had everything to be an uncomfortable silence, but the joy of encountering someone you hadn't seen for so many years also brought a certain hope to their conversation. After all, they had a lot to tell each other. Surely that would only happen if the conversation didn't become embarrassing for both of them... He hoped that wouldn’t happen.
Just when the handyman was about to come up with some random topic that probably wouldn't make much sense, Piper said something. The question she had asked almost made Matt laugh. He quickly shook his head, looking at the floor of the sidewalk due to the shame he was feeling for almost laughing at something like that. "Oh, no. No..." He informed, staring back at the brunette with a smile. "And even if there was a Mrs. Hessman, she most probably wouldn't know about our embarrassing stories. I still think they're all a treasure." He mumbled, as if that information was some silly secret. But he didn't lie. There was a high chance that the many silly stories they once shared would never leave Matthew's mind; he just couldn't explain why. Maybe he was attached to them or maybe he was just a little ashamed of some of them; but he actually didn't know why they were so precious to him.
His eyes fell over the object in his hand. In the midst of all that talk, he was still holding Piper's wallet. "Yeah, I hope so. I miss the way things were around here." He confessed, looking at the woman again with a light grin. "It was not a very quiet town, but it wasn't very chaotic either. It was just... good." Matthew said, reaching out his hand to give Piper her wallet. "By the way... Better not forget this again."
It wasn’t as though Piper had been dreaming of this moment, she had thought that she’d had a happy marriage for twenty years after all, but she would be lying if she’d said she hadn’t thought about what she might do if she saw Matthew again. More so in the last year than in any of the previous twenty-one they’d spent apart. Sue her, she was a romantic and this man - although she could now see he’d only been a boy back then - had been her first love.
Her smile matched his, almost questioning if this was some strange dream. Except she knew it wasn’t, because if it was she would have been wearing the jeans that made her legs look extra good and her curls would be perfectly tamed….her eyes widened slightly as she became aware that those things were very much not the case. She’d just been on her way to run some errands, the strands that had once been blonde had been blowing around her face in a wild manner and she’d been so frazzled that she’d literally lost her wallet. Definitely not how she’d imagined their reunion. Her smile remained intact as her hands reached up to brush her hair behind her ear in the hopes it would at least make her somewhat presentable. There was nothing she could do about the old jumper she’d chosen to throw on or the yoga pants she’d paired it with, but her hair she could try to fix.
She chuckled slightly at Erikson, it had been a long time since anybody had called her that. “Technically it’s Rhodes now, but that’s about the only thing that had changed,” Her fingers reached to play with the wedding ring that wasn’t there, hidden away in her room like it had been for months now rather than sat in the place it had proudly called its own for two decades before that. Unfortunately the sentiment was true. Her last name, her hair colour, and the birth of her daughter. That was really all that had changed - otherwise she was still clumsy, awkward, glued to a canvas and newly once again desperately trying to cling onto the idea that true love stories still existed. She wasn’t all that different from how eighteen year old Piper had been. “I’m…good,” Because it would be impolite to say anything else to somebody you hadn’t seen in so long, even if that person had once been someone you’d shared everything with, “But I mean, you! What are you doing back in Fairview?” He’d gotten out, and when she’d allowed herself to she’d wondered if he ever planned on coming back.
It did not take long for him to examine the face that one day he swore was the most beautiful he had ever seen. Piper hadn't changed much, in his opinion. The dreamy eyes he one day knew so well didn't lose their essence. Her smile also reminded him of easier times. Not to mention the hairs he once loved to play with during lunch breaks, which were still perfectly curled, after so many years. Yeah... She hadn't changed much.
Thinking about it, he almost wished he had a mirror nearby. What if his shirt was dirty and he hadn't notice? Was there a strand of hair out of place? Were his sleeves properly rolled up? There was no way for him to know but he hoped he was at least presentable.
However, when he heard her correction, he stopped caring so much about his appearance at that moment. "Oh, of course! I hope it's not too late for me to congratulate you..." the man joked, offering a gentle smile and taking his hands to his pockets, something he usually did when he was feeling somewhat out of place.
He quickly remembered a call he had with his mother years ago. He remembered hearing the news for the first time; of course, he never had the courage to congratulate Piper... It wasn’t long after they parted ways and congratulating her seemed a little too intimate at the time. Maybe he was right. Even now and being face-to-face, that seemed like something a bit strange to say to an ex.
Faced with the other's question, he slowly shook his head, showing some form of confusion. "The reality is that I don't even know, to be honest." a laugh burst out of the man's mouth before he crossed his arms across his chest. "I think I just came back out of curiosity. Also out of opportunity, of course. The house was empty and... It just seemed right to come back," he answered, grinning gently at the woman. "I just don't know if it was the best moment. Everything seems to be a bit... Turbulent here," he confessed, staring at Piper after glancing down at the street. "But I still think it was right to come back. I mean... I really missed this place”.
In her worse moments Julie considered herself lucky that there was so much going on in town that her behaviour went either unnoticed or unremarked. At any other time her unhappiness and clear distraction would have been picked up in moments. Rose’s death though had meant she was able to avoid talking about it.
She was walking home from work when she heard someone call after her. Or at least she thought it was her they were talking to. She paused for a moment as she turned around checking her bag quickly before giving a small smile and reaching her hand to take it.
“Thank you, Mr Hessman. That definitely would have upset me if I had realised later on. Should teach me not to keep my bag zipped shouldn’t it?”
Matthew handed the wallet to the woman, smiling sympathetically as he did so. He had seen that now "stranger" on the streets of Fairview, he just couldn't remember introducing himself to her. But since she said his name, he had definitely done it before.
"No problem. Anyway, if you didn't look back, I'm sure I'd find a way to deliver the wallet later," the handyman assured, nodding slightly while trying not to show that, inside his mind, he was asking himself the most random questions. After all, he recognized that woman's face, but no matter how hard he tried - and he was trying - he couldn't remember ever having talked to her. "I mean... Everybody here knows everybody, right? It wouldn't be hard to find you, I suppose," as he spoke, he regretted more and more opening his mouth. He was sounding completely strange at that moment.
