Matthew Doty

[itsvondell-deactivated20180104]

you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink

[stack--trace]

Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.

My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”

[chromalogue]

I’m rather fond of “It’s not rocket surgery” and “not the sharpest egg in the attic,” but my all-time favourite is, “…until the cows freeze over.”

[bowtochris]

You’ve opened this can of worms, now lie in it,

[corruptionpoints]

D&D Stats Explained with Tomatoes

mindchildofmadness submits:

Strength is being able to crush a tomato.

Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.

Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.

Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.

Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.

Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.

(Source)

[mehyewll-blog]

[thesassycat]

You can only reblog this today.

[askjennaflorida]

I missed my chance last year. Not gonna let it happen again

[archerinventive]

For those of you who received your “Support Canadian”. 🍁

Please be aware that during snowfall, your maple leaf may be prone to running off towards nearby snowy forests, and can be hard to retrieve.

For help, try using Tim Hortons as a lure. If you do not have a Tim Hortons near you, I’m so sorry, but the good news maple syrup can also work as a substitute.

This has been your "Tips and Tricks to Caring for your Canadian".

Stay tuned for next week when we cover what that thing in your sink that eats food is called.

Hint, it’s not a garbage disposal.

Lol Happy Friday all! I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Here’s to doing the silly things that make us smile.

[ginnydiarchive]

Okay, here’s the problem with the idea that oppressed groups can “alienate allies” by not being nice enough:

You shouldn’t be an ally because oppressed groups are nice to you. You should be an ally because you believe they deserve basic human rights. Hearing “I hate men” shouldn’t make men stop being feminist. Hearing “fuck white people” shouldn’t make white people stop opposing racism.

Your opposition to oppression should be moral, and immovable. Your belief that all humans should be treated with equal respect shouldn’t be conditional based on whether or not individual people are nice to you.

[valleyhowler]

Is it "Happy Impeachment" or "Merry Impeachment"? I don't wanna offend anyone.

[greycloudsroll]

Treason’s Greetings

[olivemeister]

impeach navidad

[gaymemaster]

Loving my new Nerd Bath Bomb from Lush! 🛀☺️

[matthewdoty]

#MerryCritMas https://www.instagram.com/p/CJORvHYH5rW/?igshid=1xfdsbr3irds3

[raphmike]

I HAVE WAITED ALL YEAR TO POST THIS

[fyeahmovies]

Winnie the Pooh: A Very Merry Pooh Year (2002) dir. Gary Katona, Ed Wexler and Jamie Mitchell

[matthewdoty]

[polniaczek]

[matthewdoty]

"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." - Isaiah 53:5 https://www.instagram.com/p/B-06KDaHSDM/?igshid=1ednbs87mnfa9

[greytailzawritesthings]

I have come to realise that there are only three types of DnD players in regards to dice.

Halflings: I’ll just borrow dice off my friends

Elf: I have 1-3 carefully selected fancy dice sets that I use for everything.

Goblins: the shiny math rocks make click-clack sound. Needs the more. All the more.

[soothifying-sounds-asmr]

Northern Ballad by Andrey Vinogradov

[cdn-apex-predator]

@northern-storms

[alpine-hoplite]

This song has vibes of drinking the night before battle with your friends, knowing that most of you wont make it

[mephistophelia]

Shaun Leane, Contra Mundum (Against the World) Evening Glove, 2010, 18-karat white gold and diamonds

[donotusetheinternet-deactivated]

if youve never physically been in the presence of like, a real live wolf, and you probably wont get the chance to, heres some stuff about them you should know

a wolf’s fur is so unbelievably thick that you can get like, your whole hand into it while petting. and then you can keep going

wolves are a lot bigger than you think they are. think about how big you think a wolf is then just like double that

they dont really smell like dog but they DO smell and youre not going to be able to figure out if its a good smell or not

a wolf really wants to lick the inside of your mouth. he will not stop trying to lick the inside of your mouth at any cost, and generally speaking you need to press your lips together kind of tightly when he approaches your face so that he doesnt worm his damn tongue in there to give you what he thinks is an appropriate greeting

a wolf doesnt really want to look at you while you pet him but he wants you to pet him. hes embarrassed

if a grown ass wolf decides to lay down on you, you just have to deal with it and thats your life now

young wolves, much like young dogs, are overwhelmingly goofy and stupid. a teenage wolf will see your very fragile, very human shoulder and go “i can probably step on that with my full weight” and then he will do it

letting a wolf eat out of your hand is actually not remotely frightening, and youll want to do it all day

[sad-gay-potato]

I wanna know who did this research.

[donotusetheinternet-deactivated]

well, i did!