bark like a god @mattodorearchive - Tumblr Blog

memory holes litter my mind, blotting out years. i don’t follow the rabbit down them.

#river dipping #theodore doe #echthroi #ts4 #ts4 edit #ts4 screenshots #cw blood #i had these long rambling tags talking about the logistics of this edit bc i didn't actually want to talk about the edit itself #realized i was avoiding it and just deleted all of them. this is the edit i wanted to make for theo's birthday back in september.#i've worked on this preset/build/pose/edit in small sections for weeks now but finally locked in these past two weeks.#this is fifteen year-old theo in the hallway of his summer boarding school #i’ve talked previously about how theo has these gaps in his memory and struggles with probing questions about his past...#he has a very negative reaction to being asked them and there’s this dread that rises when there's nothing that floats to surface.#like memory is a reel of film left too long out in the sun. overexposed. spotty.#dizzy with all the light in his eyes when he tries to remember what used to fill the gaps.#it gets worse the further back he tries going like something’s sunken in there and he can’t touch his feet to it.#so he doesn’t think about it. he doesn’t follow the rabbit down.#this is only a glimpse of what spills out when a door is left ajar in his mind.#that's all i'll say #my oc...#yeah #quality kind of got nuked despite resizing so zoom if you want to see the details better

wcif the pose from your birthday boy post? unless it’s one of your own—love your posts btw !!

⭑ download the pose here (or patreon if sfs is down)

⭑ requires this phone accessory

#river dipping #asks #anonymous #my cc #<- new tag hot off the presses #edited the pose so it would be more usable for other ppl's sims but still... the pose was originally meant for a big guy like matthias.#so... the bigger the arms the better the pose will look 👍#anyway. lmk if there are any issues #and thank you!!!!! <- guy who loves their ocs so bad they don’t rlly care to ever post anything else

he's waiting on a call he's planning to send straight to voicemail

#sorry matthias </3 maybe he'll pick up the next time you try calling............ <- me when i lie #river dipping #ts4 #ts4 edit #gifs #theodore doe #echthroi #hi friends and lovers hope everyone's doing well <3 #i got my old laptop to work so i have a laptop again even if the battery on it is messed up #but still #i haven't been online much bc i've started getting dizzy from staring at computer/phone screens for too long #and in particular the act of scrolling either on mobile or desktop makes my head spin and my eyes hurt :/#but i powered through it yesterday so i could get in game with theo (and matthias) since i missed him really bad... oc plague be upon ye #i took... well. like five hundred screenshots and forty videos... i was in the soup. the mattodore soup. what can i say?#i don't like posting too much on here bc. i'm crazy (<- has avpd) so i probably won't post much from yesterday's fun here #but i'll post whatever i want on pillowfort <3 pic of jerma holding out his hand captioned let's take mattodore together #what else should i say before leaving... right my inbox... well i'll get to it eventually <- have been saying this since october sorry #but okay i've been staring at my screen too long so i need to go lay down for a bit #enjoy theo in motion!! if you’re a theo-head like myself #theodite à la jermamite? hm. its in the works. i’m workshopping.#mentioning jerma twice in these tags… busting a cyanide pill onto my tongue i’ve said too much #i have to go now mwah mwah mwah bye warmth and love to you mwah

it takes a lot out of me to remember myself. i turn my face away from it and my body cracks open, spilling glistening hot viscera onto the floor for the audience to coo at. scenes flash behind me—dark corners, the breeze from the window, the floorboards creaking, a shift in the air. close to me, you look over my shoulder. you tell me, “you kept yourself so still when you were younger.” i want to ask how you know that. how do you know? but you reach out to touch my open body, press my hand to your chest, hold my face. it’s in your eyes. you were a boy once. just like me.

#simblr #the sims 4 #ts4 #ts4 edit #river dipping #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #echthroi #a burning house to live in #cw injury #cw blood #cw self harm #the link in the caption is to the full version of this image if anyone is curious about the actual details in this edit.......#i'm beating tumblr with so many hammers rn btw #the caption itself is pretty long but i didn't want to cut any of it to make it easily digestible bc theo isn't easy to digest anyway #i don't even know where to begin with this edit...#he's getting up from his knees in the first pose and then limping in the second and slowing to a stop in the third #the first pose is actually meant to be in reference to the sunflowers memory from his 60 questions... :/#his teenage self is definitely the one i put the most work into every step of the way... it's a time for him i don't really talk about #but it's definitely the years that shaped him the most as a character and well... theo doesn't really confront his past #but matthias mirrors theo in a lot of ways and through matthias theo meets himself again #hm. yeah. also doing the lighting from scratch was interesting. the light source here for theo is matthias and vice versa #if you look at the higher quality version of this and zoom in you can see that theo is actually crying pretty blankly in the second pose...#the blood running down his knee came out really well... wish you could see it in the post version :(#also i made a pose where theo is held up in matthias's arms hiding his face in his neck which is attached to this pose set but idk.#decided not to include that picture... plus i'd have to edit it first which would've been... so many more hours.#but anyway... theo's birthday was on the 28th but there were. circumstances. waves hands. so now we're posting this two days late.#in the same vein as matthias's birthday edit from april: here's to the first person to ever show theo love.

question : does matthias have a dog bed or is he allowed on the furniture?

#i only just woke up pleaseee #I SAT HERE FOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES BLINKING IN CONFUSION LIKE ...........did i ever say matthias had a dog?bEFORE REALIZING YOU MEANT HIM .#river dipping #asks #anonymous #matthias evanoff #echthroi #keep

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