wanna play psycho killer?

emo matt's #1 fan

[mattspawprints]

⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋮⋮ chloe. 21. lesbian. living dead girl. dog mom. tatted baddie. law student.⋮⋮⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚

✧₊⁺🕯⋆.˚୨ৎ ❝. . .are you afraid of the dark?❞

turn on mature content settings ·　 ⊹　 + * 　 ⊹

RULES | NAVI | RECENT | MASTERLIST

rec blog: @pawprintslibrary

inbox && requests are. . .open .⋆♱

© mattspawprints. established april ‘26

[mattspawprints]

hi babies. i'm sure you all have seen my inactivity lately. as far as that goes, i don't plan on writing for the triplets again anytime soon. i've lost interest in their content, and quite frankly, this fandom is incredibly toxic and not at all enjoyable. i will be leaving this account and all of my works up for the time being, but i ask that you do not redistribute anything posted here. i'll be checking in periodically with friends, but that's about all. to every person who has enjoyed this account, whether as a loyal reader and friend, lurker, or even just read one fic and not come back, i appreciate you <3 if we've communicated before and would like to exchange contact info outside of tumblr, pls let me know!

signing off,

chloe <3

[sheisjoeschateau]

𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘴: 𝘊𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘳, 𝘲𝘶𝘰𝘵𝘦, 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘩𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘺, 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘺, 𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘺𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘴, 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 (𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 Pinterest. 𝘜𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘶𝘱𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱.)

ilysm so my bestiepop @thecreelhouse for tagging me !! 🦢 this was actually such a fun little prompt game && it gave me some excitement ~ now i’m dying to know what you all think… because these kind of freaked me out how on point they are 🤭

no pressure tags: @tangledluver @graywrenhart @keer-y @djocufics @devotedlyteenagemusic @slutforpumpkins @strangegirl26sff @silkholland @just-a-harmless-patato @mistylaneeee @notmily

[devotedlyteenagemusic]

eeek! I've been trying to do this for hours but it was my bf's mom's birthday so I haven't had time!!!

no pressure tags (especially because i have not gotten to ANYone else's tag games): @sturnskiss @mattsleftball @pepsipoet @rainyyy-weather @sturncoast (imy come home) @dailydoseofchratt

[pepsipoet]

Ty for the tag @devotedlyteenagemusic <3

Tags - @mattsleftball @inkedsturnioloss @babesturn @xpeachsunsidex @moonstoneandmoonlight

[babesturn]

thats soooo fun to do , i sweear , thank u @pepsipoet for tagging mee!! (i really dunno who tag but im doing randomly lol)

tag - @courta13 @sturniolohisteric @whore4chris @sleepinourtears

loove yaall!!!

[courta13]

Tysm for the tag! @babesturn

Prompts: Color, quote, character, hobby, accessory, song lyrics, flower (from Pinterest. Use the first image upon searching up.)

Tags (NPT!): @inkedsturnioloss , @mattsfavlesbian , @mattspawprints , @ariestrxsh , @sturnskiss , @444sturns , @jjenfrxs , @sturnsgirlygirl , @immaqulate , @atlassiana @sturncoast , @sturnsfavgirl , @luvvlypixie , @rainyyy-weather

[mattspawprints]

ty for the tag @courta13!

prompts: color, quote, character, hobby, accessory, song lyrics, flower (from pinterest. use the first image upon searching up.)

tags: @mattsfavlesbian @sturnskiss

[mattspawprints]

WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY: M.S. in which. . .you find the manuscript of matt's book

warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, lil bit of arguing, reader being a snoop, talks of depression/self h*rm/anxiety/bullying, NO SMUT, mental health themes, this is lowk a vent post, i believe i saw a similar post by @immaqulate (correct me if i'm wrong!!) -> 1.1k

note: this is just a fanfic. i am not assuming matt has dealt with anything mentioned below, nor am i assuming that's what the book will be about. if this bothers you, don't read.

"matt? honey, can i use your computer? mine is missing the a key." you called out over the sound of the running water of the shower.

you'd gotten a notification on your phone about the annual sephora sale, and you'd be damned if you missed out on that. matt gave you an affirmative sound over the noise and you giggled to yourself, happily skipping to his bedroom and plopping down on the bed with matt's laptop.

within seconds, everything was catching your eye. rhode, summer fridays, charlotte tilburry, you wanted it all. you opened up a new tab, navigating to google docs to create a wishlist. you didn't mean to snoop; you really didn't. however, seeing a document titled "what happened yesterday" was bound to get your interest. matt was open with you about everything and vice versa, so what the hell was this about?

you knew you shouldn't. you should just ask matt about it and clear up any confusion. and yet, you didn't stop yourself from clicking the document open. the first page appeared to be a cover for a memoir of sorts. "what happened yesterday: matt sturniolo". it read. your brows furrowed. you knew matt had off-handedly mentioned writing a book one day, but you didn't know it would be so soon. nor did you know the idea had come so forcefully that your boyfriend had written over 100 pages of content for it already.

you should've stopped there. you really should have. instead though, you found yourself being sucked into matt's magical writing style. at first, the memoir was a recount of his and his brother's rise to fame and how that had motivated him to write a book. as the pages went on, though, you felt tears prick in your eyes.

i was four years old the first time i remember experiencing what i now know to be anxiety, and what would later be diagnosed as an anxiety disorder. even though i was being dropped at preschool with nick and chris, i had all these thoughts about "what if?". what if my mom didn't come back for me? what if nick and chris made new friends and forgot about me? what if i didn't make any friends? and that's pretty fucking heavy for a four year old to deal with.

i was six years old the first time i remember experiencing depression. by this point, i knew that i was different from other kids. when other kids were playing with plastic dinosaurs, i was busy wondering why it was so hard for me to make friends and why i was so consumed by constant worrying.

i was nine when i first learned about self harm. i had unrestricted internet access as most kids in the early 2000s did, and there it was: a video about the best ways you could hurt yourself. and the worst part? i believed i deserved it. if other kids didn't like me and my mind spent so many hours every day torturing me, then i deserved it. i deserved to hurt like that. but what that video didn't tell me what that it becomes an addiction. even now, at 23 years old, i am just now four years clean.

"what the fuck are you doing?" matt asked, towering over you and snatching his laptop from your hands, slamming it shut.

"i didn't mean to! i swear i was just looking!" you said, wiping your eyes.

"i didn't know you were going to fucking snoop on my computer, y/n!" matt yelled, in his pajamas and hair still wet from the shower.

"i-i'm sorry, matt. . .i really am. can we talk? please?"

matt took a deep breath, clutching the laptop to his chest. he'd been working on his anger in therapy lately, and he knew deep down it was only fair to hear you out. "fine. yes, we can talk." your boyfriend sat down beside you on the bed, still carefully holding his laptop like it was a prized posession.

"i truly didn't mean to snoop," you started. "i was on the sephora website and went to google docs to make a wishlist. i saw the document title and got curious, but looking at it without your permission was wrong. i'm sorry, baby. that wasn't right of me."

sure enough, when matt opened his computer, the sephora website was still pulled up. he closed the laptop again, shoving it away from the two of you and massaging his temples. "how much did you read?"

"a lot. . .'m sorry."

matt sighed, shaking his head. "it's fine, i just--i don't think i'm ready for anyone to read it. it's just stupid writing, like a diary of sorts."

"i didn't think it was stupid," you offered gently. "i thought it was really powerful, honestly."

"i dunno if i'm ready for anyone to know that much about me. . ." matt whispered, voice catching in his throat. "i know you probably look at me differently after reading all that." he said, letting out a pessimistic laugh.

you shook your head. you'd known about your boyfriend's struggles with mental health as long as you'd been dating. you'd pressed gentle, discreet kisses to his scars when he was asleep. you'd held him on nights when his anxiety was overwhelming, rendering him unable to speak. you'd simply laid in bed with him on days where the depression was so heavy that he had no energy to do anything but lie in bed.

"matt, babe. . ." you said softly. "having mental health struggles isn't something you can control, nor is it your fault."

matt didn't say anything else, looking off at his laptop. "do you think i should publish it?"

"well, that's up to you," you hummed, rubbing your fingers over his own. "but i think you should. people look up to you, especially young people. knowing that someone they look up to has also struggled in similar ways could help, even if it was just one kid."

the brunette cocked his head. "that's true, i guess."

"it's up to you, but i'll support you every step of the way, no matter what you decide." you whispered, pecking his cheek.

"god, what did i ever do to deserve you?" matt murmured, laying you back on the bed and peppering soft kisses all over your face.

you giggled. "be you, i guess," you said before pausing. "i really am sorry for looking without your permission. that wasn't right."

"i forgive you," matt hummed, burying his nose in your neck, inhaling your soft, slightly sweet scent. "i needed that, i think."

"my boyfriend, the author." you smiled.

CHLO YAPS: sorry for being depressing guys my b

tags: @bittenbymatt @mamaagirlbehindu123 @savmattsfavmattgirl @sturnscentrall @sturnskiss @icravechratt @courta13 @kailayahsturns @johnporkblogsblog @cherrychr1s @rainyyy-weather @amandapanda2 @grace-sturnz @summerupdup @glitteryun1corns @angel-sturn1 @chrismyeyesonly @chrisgirl4liferss @bendmeoverchris @choclatechipcookiechloe @udontknkw-me @bittenbymatt

[rainyyy-weather]

you seem like the best person to start this tag game...

add three pics of your female celebrity crushes, add three pics of your male celebrity crushes, then tag moots to reblog and add their own 🪽🫧

bye now xoxo

Omg this is so fun!!! (and fitting for pride month)🩵

Female: Renee Rapp - Tara Yummy - Bosco (Rupauls Drag Race)

Male: Matt Sturniolo - Owen Painter - Matthew Gray Gubler

Tags: @mattsleftball @pepsipoet @sturnskiss @inkedsturnioloss @devotedlyteenagemusic @dailydoseofchratt @chrisssiren @xmattsrightballx @mattspawprints @cybersturn @courta13 @hannahsturniolo @sturncoast

[inkedsturnioloss]

Female: Sophia Bush- Bonnie Fraser - Zendaya

Male: Matt Sturniolo- Kellin Quinn- Chris Briney

My taste is everywhere hahaha

Tags: @courta13 , @starstuddedlove , @ariestrxsh , @chrattvibee , @dailydoseofchratt , @devotedlyteenagemusic , @dykes4chris , @hannahsturniolo , @privatelyowned-t , @pepsipoet , @mattsleftball , @salemsturniolo

[mattsfavlesbian]

Hayley Williams - Halsey - Almondmilkhunni

Matt Sturniolo - Calum Hood - Luke Hemmings

@keys-onthetable @innocent-artery @dykes4chris @mattspawprints @softaurae @shessogone @tripletsobsessed

[mattspawprints]

thank you for the tags @rainyyy-weather and @starstuddedlove!!

add three pics of your female celebrity crushes, add three pics of your male celebrity crushes, then tag moots to reblog and add their own 🪽

nessa barrett-madison beer-megan fox

matt sturniolo-luke hemmings-michael clifford

tags: @sturnscentrall @courta13 @sturnskiss

[mattspawprints]

hey guys! sorry for being absent. . .i got logged out and struggled to log in and i had 5sos pcd LMAO butttt i'm off at 1 tmr and off on thursday so i hope to get lots of writing done!!

[mattspawprints]

decided today that in 48 hours i'm driving 3 hours away to see 5sos 🙏

[mattspawprints]

i see 5sos #today

[mattspawprints]

After reading emo!matts latest fic (which was delicious btw!), I need more in depth details about his tattoos and piercings please😛🖤

okayyyy!

piercings: emo!matt has his septum, his nostril on the left side, his right eyebrow, and snake bites!

tattoos: he's lost count of how many tattoos he has, but his most notable pieces are his throat, his hands, and his back piece

[mattspawprints]

For your new AU...

Candy Shop by 50 Cent, I feel like that's THE song for the AU!!

(lmk your thoughts, I'd be perfect for a smutty fic tho.. 👀🤭)

i just posted it, bby!

[mattspawprints]

CANDY SHOP: M.S. in which. . .emo!matt gives cherry a taste of a different type of candy (requested by @courta13)

warnings: smut, oral (m receiving), cherry is innocent, making out, dry humping, dirty talk, cum eating, humiliation, hints at food play->0.7k

you ran the flat of your tongue over your cherry lollipop, your third one of the day to be exact. you were over at matt's apartment, lounging on the couch with your feet in his lap as some shitty rom-com played on the TV.

"i'm bored." you pouted, watching the rain relentlessly beat against the windows as it had all day.

"fuck you want me to do? sing "rain rain go away"?" matt asked, but nevertheless gave you a teasing smirk.

"you're mean." you mumbled around your lollipop, stretching out.

"mmm, you weren't saying that last night," your boyfriend said matter-of-factly. "in fact, i remember you begging me for more."

you huffed, a blush dotting your cheeks as your mind drifted to last night. you were folded like a lawn chair in matt's bed as he drove into you relentlessly, making you cum over and over. you could only imagine what your parents who had homeschooled and sheltered you your entire life would have to say about that. you flipped so that your head was now in matt's lap, looking up at him with big eyes. "doesn't change the fact that i'm bored." you stated.

it all happened so fast. one moment you were pouting about being bored, the next you felt matt growing rock hard under you. the brunette groaned, shifting his hips as a tent grew in his baggy, black jeans.

"you drive me crazy." he murmured, pecking your forehead.

"i can tell." you teased, moving to straddle matt's lap, your hands braced on his shoulders.

a low hiss left his mouth as you began to grind your hips against his own. "fuck, sweetheart."

you smashed your lips into matt's own, feeling the cool metal of his snake bites dig into your skin. he opened his mouth, allowing you enter and your tongues connected, mixing saliva with the faint taste of cherries. your hips ground against matt's, feeling every inch of his erection as you dry humped him.

"you taste like lollipops." matt groaned, pulling back to give you a dopey smile and tuck your hair behind your ear.

"is that a good thing or a bad thing?" you whispered shyly.

"well," he murmured, shifting you off his lap so that you were kneeling in front of him on the floor. "i could give you a taste of a different lollipop."

you blushed at the innuendo, watching as matt pulled down his jeans and boxers, revealing his hard, girthy cock that was already pink and glistening with salty pre-cum. your mouth ran dry at just how big he was; even though you and matt now had a very active sex life, you were still rather innocent. in fact, you'd never even given oral. your lollipop was still hanging out of the corner of your mouth, barely hanging on after all the making out.

"you're gonna like it and you're gonna take it." matt growled, gripping you by your chin.

you whimpered, your clit throbbing at the dirty talk. you went to remove your lollipop, but matt gripped your wrist, encouraging you to keep it. you scooted closer, tentatively kitten-licking his tip, the taste of pre-cum mingling with your lollipop. matt moaned at the feeling of your wet tongue and hard candy on his dick.

"thaaaaaat's it," he coached, letting out a sigh. matt gripped you by your hair, gently guiding you to lick and suck on his dick, red tinted drool running down your chin. "so fuckin' good."

your mouth was stuffed to the brim between matt's cock and the lollipop. you ran your tongue over the head, pretending the you were enjoying a giant sucker. your wide eyes and the little whimpers that left your mouth had matt rutting his tattooed hips closer to your face, making you deepthroat him.

your eyes watered and you gagged, pulling off. "too big." you pouted.

"i've seen those lollipops you eat, baby," matt murmured, gripping your chin. "if you can take those, you can definitely take this." he teased.

the humiliation was turning you on. you went back to giving matt a blowjob with renewed vigor, spurred on by the small noises falling from his lips. his cock twitched in your mouth, making his head fall back with a loud groan.

"fuck, sweetheart," he hissed. "'m gonna fucking cum. and you better lick it all up, got it?"

the second you applied more suction to his dick, matt was letting go, filling your mouth with his hot, sticky release. he watched eagerly as you licked his cum of your lollipop, enjoying humiliating this innocent girl.

"was that okay?" you asked with wide eyes, looking up at matt as you licked your lips.

"all i can say is that all that lollipop eating had a purpose." matt laughed.

CHLO YAPS: mmm emo!matt ur so yummy

tags: @bittenbymatt @mamaagirlbehindu123 @savmattsfavmattgirl @sturnscentrall @sturnskiss @icravechratt @courta13 @kailayahsturns @johnporkblogsblog @cherrychr1s @rainyyy-weather @amandapanda2 @grace-sturnz @summerupdup @glitteryun1corns @angel-sturn1 @chrismyeyesonly @chrisgirl4liferss @bendmeoverchris @choclatechipcookiechloe @udontknkw-me @bittenbymatt

[mattspawprints]

Ok but your theme eats? Love it so much oml

awwww thank you!!

[mattspawprints]

guys tysm for 400 what the hell 🥹 i appreciate every follow, like, comment, inbox, and reblog that i get more than you all know. that's literally insane that FOUR HUNDRED people like what i write??? thank you all <3

[mattspawprints]

decided today that in 48 hours i'm driving 3 hours away to see 5sos 🙏

[mattspawprints]

BIGGER THAN THE WHOLE SKY: C.S. in which. . .your life changes forever

warnings: DEATH, mentions of a car accident, no happy ending, mentions of hospital, blood and gore, grief, i'm sorry in advance for what you're about to read -> 2k

august 1st, 2023. the day of chris' twentieth birthday.

you woke up smiling. you sat up in bed and stretched, looking out the window of your and chris' shared bedroom. it was chilly and rainy, a comforting gloom settling over the city. this was chris' favorite weather and it was only fitting that it occurred on his birthday. 

your better half’s side of the bed was cold, long since abandoned for chris to head to film first thing in the morning, then to the university classes he'd decided to take in the afternoon. 

despite it only being nine in the morning, you began preparing the house for chris' return that evening. you started on the rainbow sprinkles cake that had been requested then began to prepare dinner and clean everything. you were a bit of a neat freak, and it was only amplified by the fact that you wanted your baby’s birthday to be perfect. 

later that evening, you were frosting chris' cake with red frosting when your phone pinged with a text. it was from your boyfriend, reading i’m on the way home with a orange heart emoji. chris always used the orange heart because it was “more him”. 

you had to pick up the pace. you hastily finished frosting the cake, making sure it was as perfect as possible. heading to the bedroom, you began gathering candles and making up the bed just right for the special evening. busy, you hadn’t realized how much time had passed until you heard a knock at the front door. picking up your phone, you realized it had been over an hour and a half since chris had sent that text. maybe he got stuck in traffic. but why was he knocking on the door? you always made sure he had his house keys with him. 

you made your way to the front door with a huge smile on your face, ready to shower your love with all the birthday affection he deserved. however, the smile dropped when at the front door, it was not chris, but rather a police officer.

“y/n y/l/n?”

“that would be me?” you asked softly, beginning to panic about why there was a police officer at the front door instead of chris. 

“your boyfriend, christopher sturniolo, has been in a fatal accident and you were listed as his emergency contact.”

you felt your knees go weak and the world begin to go cloudy and spin as your eyes filled with tears. “...fatal?”

“he’s gone, ma'am. i'm sorry. however, he was transported to the hospital. you can go say your final goodbyes, if you’d like.”

as soon as the word “gone” left the officer’s mouth, you felt your world shatter. a heavy sob left your chest and you simply crumpled to the floor, not caring that the man was watching you. 

“i can bring you to the hospital, if you need it, ma'am.”

you simply nodded your head. you couldn’t make words come out of your mouth. you simply got up and slowly made your way to the bedroom, clinging to the wall for support. there were a few things that chris deserved to have with him. 

you pulled a small jeweler’s box out of your nightstand and opened it up, gazing at the ring inside through misty eyes. it was supposed to be tonight. tonight was the night you were going to pour your heart out to your blue eyed beauty and ask him to marry you. you didn't care that it was unconventional. you took the ring out of the box and slipped it into your pocket before hurling the box at the wall with a guttural sob. you didn’t care that the box made a dent in the wall of your rented apartment, you’d deal with that later. 

you grabbed chris' favorite stuffed bear that was perched on the brown haired boy’s pillow, eagerly waiting for its owner’s return. a return that wouldn’t happen. 

you made your way back to the officer, who gently ushered you into the squad car and began to make his way to the hospital. when you arrived at the hospital, you were sure that all of the staff on the ICU floor were staring at you. if you could’ve seen yourself, you would have stared too. your hair was drenched with sweat and your face was bright red, a mess of snot and tears. 

“are you y/n y/l/n?” an older nurse asked sweetly. she had been working in the hospital long enough to usually know which visitors belonged with which patients. and judging by your overall demeanor and look, she could tell that you were here for the patient they had just recently lost. 

you just nodded, still too choked up and not quite believing that this was happening to talk. 

“chris is in a private room, sweetie. i’ll take you to him, but i need you to understand, he was in a very fatal accident. he won’t look like the chris you normally know, okay hun?” the sweet nurse used her very best caretaker voice, knowing that you were this close to going off the deep end. 

“i don’t care!” you snapped. you hated being so rude to the poor woman, but all you cared about right now was seeing chris. your chris.

“come with me, love.” the nurse held your hand gently and walked you to room 305. “he’s just through this door. i'll give you two some alone time. let me know if you need anything, sweetheart.” she smiled sympathetically and let you have your time.

you placed your hand on the doorknob and took a deep breath. you knew deep down you wanted to see chris, but you weren't ready to say goodbye. not this soon. you weren't ready to let go of all you two had shared over the years. chris was your best friend, your boyfriend, your soulmate, your twin flame. any word you could think of to describe undying love could’ve been used. 

one last breath and you twisted the doorknob, stepping into the dimmed hospital room.

*triggering content starts here*

the second you stepped into chris' private hospital room, you felt your heart drop. these kinds of rooms were saved especially for the dying or already dead. the various machines that had been used to try and revive your sweet chris, were cleaned and turned off, returned to their various spots around the room. 

there were no flowers on the bedside table. no cards, no water cups, no nothing. the only indication that anyone had even been in the room were the pile of chris' belongings that had been salvaged from his totaled car, the ominous equipment that would later be used to take the boy away, and the bed that currently held him.

you tried to pretend chris was just sleeping and that at any moment he would wake up. you tried so hard. the hospital staff had closed his blue eyes, but it was hard to believe chris was just napping when his face looked nothing like the face that had left your shared apartment twelve hours earlier. 

chris' face was covered in cuts, dried blood, and stitches. he had a deep gash across his forehead and his nose was bent at a peculiar angle. somewhere along the way, his beloved earrings had been lost, leaving only two sad holes. you hesitated to pull back the sheets. you wanted to say goodbye to chris fully, but you were scared of what was underneath the blankets.  

the urge to give your boyfriend the last bit of love he deserved was stronger than the fear, however. you gently pulled back the blanket and gasped. the nurse had warned you, but you hadn’t thought it would be this bad. this wasn’t the chris you knew. the poor boy's legs had been mangled and were also covered in dried blood and deep gashes. the hospital staff had tried their best to clean him up, but the damage done had been quite severe. 

that was enough for the you. you collapsed, laying your head on chris' chest and sobbing. you would never again lay there and hear the steady beat of your boyfriend’s heart and the rise and fall of his breath. 

“chris, baby.” you whispered, cupping his cheek. 

the brown haired boy’s body had already gone cold. he hadn’t even been given the chance to fight. a young life stolen for no clear reason. chris had never done anything wrong. he was the sweetest, most loving soul you had ever met. 

as the thoughts consumed you, you cried harder. not just for yourself, but for the life that chris would never get to live. your boyfriend had just turned twenty and already had over two million subscribers on youtube. he had his whole life ahead of him and it had been snatched in a matter of seconds. chris would never get to be an influencer, which had been his biggest dream since he was eleven. he’d never graduate university or get married or have kids. 

“i’m sorry, sweetie. i’m so, so sorry.” you ran your hand along chris' cheek, your voice thick with sobs. 

you moved your hand down to hold chris' own. never again would you get to bandage those hands after chris had spent all day at the studio, his fingers peeling and bloody from insisting on personally packaging merch orders.

you pulled the wedding band out of your pocket and slipped it on chris' ring finger. you ran your thumb across the dark silver metal that went so well with his tanned skin. “this is for you, baby. i love you more than anyone has loved anyone. ever. you’re my light and my reason and the reason i’m still here.”

you knew deep down that time was ticking. soon, the staff would take chris away to vacate the room. this was the last time. this was the last time you'd ever see chris. fighting back the tears, you tucked the stuffed bear under chris' arm and kissed his forehead. “i’m going to be strong for you. i love you, baby. in this life and in the next one. i'll see you soon, okay?"

and you were strong. you stayed until the nurses took chris away and the doctors told you that you had to leave. you walked the long way home, taking the path through downtown that you'd always walk with chris on sunday afternoons. it would never fail, at the end of the route, chris would see his favorite ice cream shop and stop, tugging on your hand and begging for a strawberry cone with rainbow sprinkles. 

in the following weeks, your mom came to stay with you so you weren’t alone in the apartment that didn’t feel quite right without chris there. the day you went through chris' belongings was the hardest. you kept most of the clothes, which smelled of the blue eyed boy and quite easily went through everything else, giving most of it to jimmy and mary lou. but if anything hurt the most to go through, it was the music equipment. 

you had met chris in music class. he had asked you out with a song. sure, chris had never wanted to be a touring musician, and he considered it little more than a hobby, but the boy had a natural musical talent. and so, you ordered a display case. right there in the living room sat chris' favorite guitar. if you listened hard enough, you were pretty sure you could still hear chris playing off somewhere in the distance.

-

you read chris' last message every day. you read it front to back and back to front. you read it when you woke up and before you went to bed. you read it until you didn’t need to look to know what it said. to know where the uncapitalized i was and where the orange heart emoji was. 

two years to the day after the accident, on what would have been chris' twenty second birthday, you read the text for the last time. you knew you didn’t need to look at it anymore because no matter what, you were okay. no matter what, chris was always with you.

for the rest of your very long life, every time you heard thunder and saw lightning, you liked to pretend it was chris. chris up there in the sky somewhere, jamming out on his guitar and living the life he never got to have.

CHLO YAPS: i'm sorry for what i just did to you guys

tags: @bittenbymatt @mamaagirlbehindu123 @savmattsfavmattgirl @sturnscentrall @sturnskiss @icravechratt @courta13 @kailayahsturns @johnporkblogsblog @cherrychr1s @rainyyy-weather @amandapanda2 @grace-sturnz @summerupdup @glitteryun1corns @angel-sturn1 @chrismyeyesonly @chrisgirl4liferss @bendmeoverchris @choclatechipcookiechloe @udontknkw-me @bittenbymatt

[mattspawprints]

hi hi!! i want to expand who i write for sooooo. . .i am now taking requests for:

-the sturniolo triplets (platonic only for nick!!)

-sam and colby

-5 seconds of summer

-one direction

[mattspawprints]

i want to see matt kiss a boy the way michael clifford kissed awsten knight.

[mattspawprints]

bf!chris is ready for pride 𖥔 ݁ ˖🕸️🕷.𖥔 ݁ ˖

it was supposed to be a peaceful morning. key word: supposed. you had gone to bed eager, staring at the date for the next day on the calendar. june 1st, the start of pride month. after years of the biphobia you'd experienced, you finally felt comfortable accepting that you were still just as valid while dating a man, and had fallen asleep excited for your first pride where you had fully accepted yourself.

hence why you were slightly grumpy when you were pulled out of your restful sleep by the sounds of the smoke alarm and born this way by lady gaga blasting from your kitchen. whatever was going on had chris' name written all over it and your suspicions were confirmed when you noticed your boyfriend wasn't in bed beside you.

you rolled out of bed, tugging on a pair of shorts under chris' oversized shirt you'd worn to sleep. "chris, what the fuck are you doing?" you called as you hurried up the stairs.

even with the urgent beeping of the smoke alarm, you paused and pulled out your phone to record when you rounded the corner to the kitchen. chris was in a shirt that read "i ❤️ my hot bisexual girlfriend" with a variety of rainbow colored necklaces hanging around his neck, desperately fanning the pile of burned, rainbow pancakes that had collected in a frying pan on the stove. from the speaker on the counter, lady gaga switched to chappell roan and you practically doubled over laughing.

"it's not funny!" your boyfriend protested, trying to clear the smoke.

you snorted, putting your phone away and going to turn off the speaker. "it's a little funny. what were you even doing?"

"i was trying to do something nice for you for pride. . .but i ruined it." chris grumbled, dumping the charred pancakes in the trash.

your heart melted. chris had never made you being bi weird. in fact, he had always been one of your biggest supporters. you pecked your boyfriend on the cheek, moving to open the window and let some of the smoke out. "you didn't ruin anything, babe. i appreciate the gesture."

"you'll get rainbow pancakes another day." chris hummed, wrapping his arms around you from behind.

slowly, the smoke alarm switched off as the smoke cleared from the kitchen, leaving a flustered chris in its wake and you staring into the fridge. living with three brothers, actual meals to eat were few and far between.

"you know. . ." you said. "you could doordash your favorite gay person dunkin' instead."

"nick isn't awake." chris teased.

"you know who i was talking about," you flicked your boyfriend's nose. "you're required to be nice to me all month."

"don't push your luck," chris snorted, but nevertheless opened his phone and ordered your favorite iced coffee and donut. "happy pride, baby."

CHLO YAPS: a couple of days late, but happy pride pretty people!! no matter how you identify, you're welcome here<3

tags: @bittenbymatt @mamaagirlbehindu123 @savmattsfavmattgirl @sturnscentrall @sturnskiss @icravechratt @courta13 @kailayahsturns @johnporkblogsblog @cherrychr1s @rainyyy-weather @amandapanda2 @grace-sturnz @summerupdup @glitteryun1corns @angel-sturn1 @chrismyeyesonly @chrisgirl4liferss @bendmeoverchris @choclatechipcookiechloe @udontknkw-me @bittenbymatt