I'm probably delusional but imagine Emily, Sera, and Pentious visiting the hotel post season two. Things are fine until Emily leaves the room and comes back with her hair in a ponytail, tied by a red bow. Niffty recognizes it as one of hers and the two start squabbling; to the shock of everyone else.
Niffty retaliates by stealing a necklace Emily was wearing and hiding under a couch. The fight ends when Alastor, the only main cast member (sans Angel) not in the room shadows in and pulls them apart.
Alastor does eventually explain that Emily and Niffty are both his daughters. And Lucifer asks how he's so sure their his, throwing in a comment about how he never had to wonder with Charlie.
A: *puts hand on Emily's head* seventeen hours. *picks up Niffty* thirty eight hours.
A: How many hours I was in labor. *leaves*
Niffty, excitedly: I was cut out with a chainsaw!
Both of them are Guy's in this au. Just because I love him.
Did you know that chainsaws were invented as a birthing tool? They were designed to cut through the pelvic bone if the baby got stuck, without anesthesia.
This isn't very well written because I'm Tired and just got home from work. But hopefully you get the picture I'm trying to convey
Emily is kind and cheery and hopeful and happy and eager to make others happy and nice - unless Niffty is there in which case they are bickering like - well.
Emily absolutely uses her wings to get higher then Niffty so she can't reach her while sticking her tongue out. Which, yes, results in Niffty stealing her necklace and hiding under the couch and they are doing the 'stop touching me' 'i'm not touching you' 'stop touching me' thing - Angel isn't here (sobs), but if he was he'd clock them as siblings INSTANTLY.
Sera is baffled, everyone is baffled, and then Alastor comes in, tells them both off, tells Emily to 'give your sister back her bow' and Niffty to 'give your sister back her necklace and everyone is gaping because 'sister??!!!!'
They pout and do and someone asks how they're related and Alastor says they're his.
Lucifer says the thing, trying to put Alastor down and say they might not be his cause the bellhop has TWO kids and one is a SERAPHIM and his pride is pricked - and then Alastor reveals HE gave birth to them.
And Niffty brings up the chainsaw.
And then they get a lesson in issues during birth and the lack of anesthesia and also the issues of racism causing additional maternal death's in black women (and men with uterus's) and what do you mean no anaethesia!
Sera realises her sister has parents and another sister, and has to deal with that, and also whether or not she should try and encourage Niffty to redeem herself and join them in heaven (another sister?) because surely she would be a seraphim too, while also having jealousy and insecurity because Emily has another sister! Real sister? Birth sister! And trying to get to know Alastor because her sister's mom is...
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