ryusei's eyes widen slightly at the panic evident on rin's face. he's seen worry; rin's face is often marred with wrinkles after spending days apart. ryusei a caged beast and rin his silent shadow watching over him. this was different somehow. this is an emotion completely foreign to ryusei coming from rin, his attention on it dogging at his brain in the middle of every nerve signaling that he's in pain, and he needs to heal quickly. within seconds of mouthing rin's wound, ryusei takes in that rin has relaxed some but his eyes clearly communicate agitation boiling deep within his emotions.
habits, his lover has a namely few things that he does when he's nervous, stressed, that he does when he needs to self soothe himself. hands wandering aimlessly through his hair. rin always does this, it doesn't surprise ryusei in the slightest as he leans into his hold and rumbles out a soft purr. rin's scalding whispers of something he calls his mistake hurts ryusei. the werewolf frowns softly, “rin...” realization guts ryusei open like a fish and for once the wolf is stunned to silence.
rin's life has stopped over a century ago, the only thing remaining being his corpse that hasn't stopped moving, talking or behaving like him. rin knows death far more intimately than ryusei ever will. the way it snatches life away and never gives it back. even now it cruelly treats rin, taunting him with everlasting life at the cost of his humanity and worse yet his previous lover. ryusei could only imagine the sort of emotions rin could be feeling, clutching onto him as if he were trying to keep the life from shidou from slipping away.
he doesn't put up much of a fuss, meeting rin's kiss as he hangs onto him and those last words. something in shidou stirred, his chest feeling cushy and heavy. in seconds they're in their room, and rin's movements are careful but hurried in their need to do something. he lays in bed, unmoving, minus his gaze which follows rin intensely. shidou's nose twitches. “rin...” he sighs gently, looking at himself. reaching for his hand, ryusei nods slowly. “i don't think i have it in me for a bath but can you treat my wounds? wasn't able to heal them all the way.” he knows rin will be insistent in taking care of him, as always. ryusei always let's him.
his head tilts, seeing rin's worry dissipate, replaced with what seemed like curiosity, doubt even for a second. the question about the pack of wolves surprises shidou a bit. his eyes fall away from rin, but that action was probably more than a dead give away. there's a small hesitant nod, a pregnant pause filling the air before ryusei speaks. “that pack... that was my old pack. i shouldn't have been surprised they would have eventually made it here, but... yeah. nothing pleasant about any of that, as you can see.”
he isn't sure what he feels about that either. there's a myriad of emotions for ryusei to sort through, but his body felt too sluggish and that nagging feeling in his brain from earlier was starting to bother him. ryusei looks over to speak to rin when the other blurts out his query first. ryusei laughs softly, light and airy, as if rin told him something funny. the wolf shakes his head.
“even if it is selfish, so what,” ryusei reaches out to caress rin's cheek gently. “would it be selfish if i don't mind as long as i get to have you to myself too? looks like i need to pamper and apologize for scaring you... don't say ya aren't.... i smell the fear on you. just finish patching me up so i can hold you.”