samanthawhittney:
Sam listened silently as she spoke, following her lead when it came to looking out at the water. She knew an audience made saying it out loud worse. All Sam could think was how much of a shit deal that was. How much of a shit deal being called back was. “I used to think I’d lose my mind if I ever got taken off of missions. Which I mean I mostly have I guess.” She tried to roll the words around in her mouth. “Ray was training me to take over for him, but that’s all down the drain. So I’ve spent my entire adult striving for this thing that I’m never going to get. I-” She felt her frustration at Ray growing again and rubbed her heel into the sand. ”Were you ever disappointed that you were pulled off from what you were initially supposed to do? I mean obviously it’s worked out for you, but-”
“Nick doesn’t care except about the people he wants to. The people who he’s deemed worthy of a shot.” The bitterness that leaked into her voice surprised herself. “Not really. I was hoping for some blueprint for becoming a head that bypassed Nick not knowing you existed. I’m sorry he was so shitty to you, though.” Sam cleared her throat and again dodged her eyes to lake. “You know my story, I’m assuming, I get it.” She let out a long sigh and shrugged off her jacket. “I fear I’m going to be a footnote on Jax’s career if I stay here. But I want to be with him, and I know if I leave he’s never going to follow.” The whole train of thought just blurted out and instantly Sam thought it might be better to keel over rather than have to live knowing anyone knew those thoughts. “Jesus fucking Christ. Did I actually just say that out loud?”
“I swear half the time I’m actively looking for something to do. The boredom alone is enough to drive anyone crazy.“ Max agreed. “If it’s something that you truly want, Sam, go for it. ‘Cuse my language but fuck Ray. I love him but fuck him. Nick has been practically begging Ray to take over as second but Ray always uses BOND as an excuse. If you want it, show them that you can handle it and don’t take no for an answer.“ Max sucked her teeth and crossed her arms over her chest. “Of course I was but I made the best of a situation. What else was I supposed to do? The last thing anyone needed was for me to roll over and take it. I wouldn’t have gotten this far.“
“You are preaching to the choir. It’s like everyone else is blinded and can’t see through his bullshit.“ Max was more relaxed with Sam than she ever had been in the past. “There really isn’t one. As sad as it sounds, you have to prove yourself to him. Ray, Jo, Jim and Mills can’t persuade him when it comes to things like that. Just walk up to him and tell him what you want.“ Max replied with a quick thanks at Sam’s unnessaccary apology. “Jax is a special case. It might not matter but I think you two are good together. You’ll be good for him. But... Jaxson also needs to become his own person; away from Nick and his identity as a rat. He’s improved over the years and I think his position as SKIN’s second help with that. He’ll make a great head of SKIN one day but he has a lot of growing up to do still. And that’s okay too but the only way you can grow together with him is by growing on your own too. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be, no matter what position you have in the pack.” Max paused then laughed. “Yeah. You did. Are we having girl talk? Feel free to tell me to shut up and soak up the sun.“
















