When will the standards be higher? When will we stop making excuses for men?
“Harmange’s “hatred” of men amounts to distrust based on personal experience and statistical probability. And the statistics are damning indeed. In 2017 in France, of death threats against partners, 90% were made by men. Of murders committed by a partner or ex-partner, 86% were committed by men. Of the few women who killed their partner, 69% of them were themselves victims of domestic violence (by men). 96% of all domestic violence convictions were men, and 99% of sexual violence convictions were men.
The statistics are much the same in the U.S. 99% of offenders arrested for rape in the U.S. are male. This doesn’t mean that women can’t commit sexual assault or that men can’t be victims of it, but it does mean that rape and assault are, by a massive margin, predominantly male activities.
The smaller-scale stuff adds up too. “There is nothing more tedious than to see a man being covered in plaudits that are completely disproportional to the miniscule effort he makes,” writes Harmange, “while women continue to be subject to impossible standards that mean they’re always the ones to lose out. We have to stop praising men for such pathetically trivial things as leaving work early to pick up their kid from school.”
Where is the lie?
When will the standards be higher? When will we stop making excuses for men? When will it stop being meme-funny that a man can’t find that thing in the pantry that’s right in front of his face, or that a man took a midday snooze while his wife who got up three times with the baby last night entertains the kids in a bone-tired stupor, or that a father’s packing list for vacation has four things on it while the mother’s has 82 because she alone is responsible for the children’s needs?
None of these are funny. They’re all examples of men being shitheads and society normalizing it by acting like it’s funny.”
This is what I’ve been trying to say. When women say they hate men, they mean they’re tired of the constant rape, abuse, harassment, and femicide that happens both to themselves and other women around them. When women hate men, they mean they’re tired of the violence and subjugation and want men to stop it or at least leave them alone. When men hate women, they mean they hate women who aren’t being sexy and subservient enough. When men hate women, they rape, abuse, assault, and murder women. Misandry and misogyny are not comparable at all.
I’m so tired of seeing self declared feminists and leftists all over this site and twitter saying women who hate men are just as evil and violent and bad as men who hate women and that misandry is as equally bad as misogyny. These same people will balk at or mock the idea of reverse racism, or heterophobia, or cisphobia, because they realize hatred for your violent oppressor is in fact not comparable to the hatred of the oppressed class. I’m tired of internet leftists dismissing sexism / misogyny as a “lesser” or even “not real” or “not serious” form of oppression. I’m so fucking sick of it. Women are being violently assaulted, mutilated, and murdered by men every fucking day. Women are justified in their feelings of rage, hatred, and distrust. If you think misandry is equivalent to misogyny, or that sexism is a “lesser” form of oppression, then you’re a clown and can fuck right off.
“i hate men” is not about bioessentialism anymore than “i hate white people is” btw. And misandry is no more real than reverse racism. If you can get it in one oppressive system you can get it in another.
when did the main issue with toxic masculinity become the fact that men can’t cry in public and stuff. like okay that’s deffo part of the problem but like. we’re aware this thing gets women killed regularly yes?
British-Somali songwriter, feminist, and musician Marianne Joan Elliott-Said, also known by her stage name Poly Styrene, is most notably known for being the founder of punk rock band X-Ray Spex.
She was born in Bromley, London, and ran away from home at the age of 15 with just £3 in her pocket, hitchhiking from one music festival to another. This adventure ended when she stepped on a rusty nail while bathing in a stream and had to be treated for septicaemia.
After seeing the Sex Pistols performance at the Pier Pavillion Hastings on her 19th birthday she thought that anyone could do what they were doing and so decided to form her own Punk Rock band, putting an ad in the paper calling for ‘young punx who want to stick it together’, and that was the beginning of X-Ray Spex. She eventually became a passionate feminist and posted a blog dedicated to women’s rights and defense of women.
She was described by Billboard as the “archetype for the modern-day feminist punk”; because she wore dental braces, stood against the typical sex object female of 1970’s rock star, sported a gaudy Dayglo wardrobe, and was of mixed race. She was “one of the least conventional front-persons in rock history, male or female”.
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