Abby: Come on, Tony. Fight me!
Tony: Look at the size of you, Abby. What are you gonna do? Kick me in the heel?
[later]
Ziva: Why is Tony crying on the floor?
Gibbs: Abbs kicked him. Right in the heel.
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Abby: Come on, Tony. Fight me!
Tony: Look at the size of you, Abby. What are you gonna do? Kick me in the heel?
[later]
Ziva: Why is Tony crying on the floor?
Gibbs: Abbs kicked him. Right in the heel.
Bucky: So, you two are friends?
Clint: Yes.
Nat: No.
it’s a missing Caitlin Todd kinda night 🫤
i ❤️ clint barton from matt fraction's hawkeye
Gibbs: So you lied to me
Tony: Well. That depends on how you define lying
Gibbs: I define it as not telling the truth, how do you define it
Tony: Reclining your body in a horizontal position?
Gibbs: *100% done with him* get back to work
Tony: Absolutely
Abby: when theres something strange, in the neighbour hood. WHO YOU GONNA CALL?
Ziva: us abby! We are the fucking cops
Tony: GHOST BUSTERS!
Clint, half passed out in hospital bed: My boyfriend will get upset if he sees you touching me like that.
Bucky: I'm your boyfriend
Clint:
*heart monitor beeps faster*
Natasha: i was best woman at Clint’s second wedding, i started my speech with "welcome back everyone"
Natasha: he was not happy
Cop: Pull over.
Clint: No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing.
Clint: *does something cute*
Bucky: I don't care.
Narrator: But Bucky did care.
Coulson: would you say you are independent?
Clint: *looks at Nat*
Nat: *nods*
Clint: yes I would
Clint: I guess I've fallen for you *winks*
Bucky: You literally just fell down two flights of stairs how are you even alive-
Bucky: So what's for dinner?
Clint: I can't tell you, it's a soup-prise!
Bucky: …
Bucky: Is it soup?
Clint: I soup-pose it could be!
*winks*
Bucky: Please, enough with the soup puns!
Clint: Wow, you're soup-per-mean.
Bucky: oh my god.
*one hour later*
Bucky: It's fucking tacos?!?!?!
Ziva: *to the rest of the campfire* When you save America, the world is your rooster.
Gibbs: *confused* Your what?
Ziva: Your rooster.
McGee: What?
Ziva: Your rooster!
Tony: What the fuck do you mean?
Ziva: Your fancy clam with the pearl inside!
The team: *overlapped shouting of
"oyster! *
Tony: PLEASE revoke your "no swearing" rule Boss.
Gibbs: Why?
Ziva, in the corner: Well that really DILLS my PICKLES.
Tony: i think we should have glow stick juice injected in our bones when we're born, so if we break our bones, we get a fun little surprise
McGee: what's the surprise?
Ziva: blood poisoning.
Tony: Vance kicked me off the case for good because I am apparently a "liability" and "reckless" and "DiNozzo".
Ziva: That's just your name.
Tony: Yeah but you didn't hear his tone.