Jun 29, 2025
Kidnapper: I have your kid
Gibbs : which one? there are many.
Kidnapper: The loud, annoying one
Gibbs: that doesn't narrow it down
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Kidnapper: I have your kid
Gibbs : which one? there are many.
Kidnapper: The loud, annoying one
Gibbs: that doesn't narrow it down
Tony: Nice job, sexy. Ziva: Next time, you wear the heels. Tony: Okay. *Gibbs leaves, Ziva turns around* Ziva: Wait, what did you say? Tony: I am open to whatever you wanna try.
Abby: You and Tony are so cute!! I’m shipping you so hard!
Ziva: You’re putting us in a boat?
Ziva can fight wearing a wedding dress.
original text post (account is deactivated)
Imagine y/n is Gibbs’ significant other and you take Gibbs out to KBBQ or hot pot for the first time. I feel like Gibbs’ reaction would be something along the lines of the this:
Gibbs: Y/n what the hell is this?
Y/n: *giggling* Whattt? You like to cook steak over a fire, how is this any different?
Gibbs: Yeah steak. Not whatever the hell this Fruit Roll-Up beef is.
DiNozzo: If McGee and I were both drowning, who would you save?
Ziva: You morons can't even swim.
McGee: Just answer the question
Ziva: my time and effort
*the NCIS crew is standing around a broken coffee machine*
Gibbs: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.
Abby: I did. I broke it…
Gibbs: No. No, you didn’t. Nick?
Nick: Don’t look at me. Look at Tony.
Tony: What?! I didn’t break it.
Nick: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?
Tony: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
Nick: Suspicious.
Tony: No, it’s not!
Mcgee:If it matters, probably not… but Kate was the last one to use it.
Kate: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
Mcgee: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Kate I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Mcgee!
Abby: Alright let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Gibbs.
Gibbs: No. Who broke it?
…
Mcgee: [whispering] Gibbs, Ziva's been awfully quiet…
Ziva:Really?!
Mcgee: Yeah, really!
*arguing ensues*
Gibbs: I broke it. I burned my hand and knocked it over. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little quiet around here.
Jimmy: "Why can't God give me a break? Maybe he hates me."
Tony: "Don't be ridiculous, God doesn't hate you."
Jimmy: "Thank you."
Tony: "You aren't interesting enough...I'd say he'd be ambivalent towards you at best"
Jimmy: "....."
Tony: "If he even exists."
Jimmy" "Wait...what?"