Meadow or Whatever

Adult | Complex DID Ze/it/blur/div MINORS DNI

[warningsine]

[bearsunday]

There's a creator on TikTok who's also a RAMCOA survivor and they often talk about their experience very openly, which I think is so cool considering people never react normally to these things. Like I get it's extremely off-putting to hear a lot of these things, but there's a difference between being uncomfortable and trying to shut us down from ever talking about what we went through imo. Gets kind of tiring having to tiptoe around what you can and cannot share about your life

[outnumberedsins]

Reminder that non-programmed systems can have hierarchies, complex innerworlds, and internal perpetrators, among other things.

Reminder that you can be an OEA survivor and not be programmed, or even be a system.

Reminder that programming is a long-term type of torture that is not possible online. You can be conditioned and not programmed.

Reminder that western experiences and perceptions of OEA can be, and are, vastly different from ones in other areas.

[hazedxg0]

DID symptoms that people don't talk enough about

The cycle of forgetting and then re-remembering trauma memories

Constant depersonalization and derealization

Feeling as if you're stuck living someone else's life

Failure to plan for the future because nothing feels real + losing time

Thinking a flashback is over when you've actually just dissociated away from it, and having it resume as soon as you stop dissociating

Dissociative stupor/trance

Alexithymia

Identity issues outside of alters

Inability to connect with other people

Being unable to tell if you've healed from a past problem/trauma or if you've just dissociated away from it

Not learning from past mistakes because of amnesia and dissociation

Feeling nothing psychologically despite physical shaking, racing heart, nausea, crying, etc

The extreme disorientation + identity confusion that comes with co-consciousness and co-fronting

Somatic flashbacks

Being triggered by your own DID symptoms because you know the only reason you're experiencing any of this is because of what they did to you

[fairycosmos]

it’s completely acceptable to stay alive for tiny reasons. because you want to hear your favorite song one more time. because your dog will miss you if you leave. because the moon is just too pretty to never see again. because you haven’t seen the next season of a really good tv show. because you want to see the christmas lights this year. if you’re alive, you’re doing enough. if you’re surviving, i’m proud of you.

[maemaybe]

Are any other survivors of organized abuse/trafficking feeling kind of fucked up about this week's reminder that Trump is in the Epstein files and that it feels like no one actually fucking cares?

Like, Musk obviously knew the whole time and tried to drop his little truth bomb about it once they had their public billionaire breakup. Was that supposed to make him look like a whistleblower or a hero? He only revealed the truth (that we all already knew) after Trump cut off his cash flow.

It just feels like a huge reminder that no one actually cares about the victims of child sex trafficking or csam. All of this, even the decisions about who is held accountable and who receives justice, all of it is just a power game.

I just feel like meat for the meat grinder.

I don't think anyone talking about Epstein actually cares about victims of csa, trafficking, organized abuse, csam or any of it. They never talk about us like they give a shit.

[unwelcome-ozian]

Repetitive Conditioning Both ritualistic abuse and mind programming rely heavily on repetitive conditioning to manipulate the victim’s behaviour, thoughts and beliefs. In ritualistic abuse, victims may undergo repeated traumatic events that are framed as part of a greater ritual or spiritual system, forcing them to endure abuse in a way that makes it feel “normal” or “necessary” for their survival. This repetition of traumatic experiences is a form of mind programming that deeply affects the individual’s psychological state.

For example, a child subjected to ritualistic abuse might be told that the rituals are for their protection or are part of a sacred tradition. Over time, this programming can alter the child’s perception of the abuse, leading them to believe that the abuse is essential or even desirable, reinforcing their compliance.

[cdd-safe-haven]

[cdd-safe-haven]

"Integration is an ongoing process: It is a journey, not an event."

- Kathy Steele

[homunculus-argument]

Many new parents are delighted to discover that if left to their own devices for long enough, their children will just go ahead and raise themselves. Later on, the same parents are shocked and dismayed to find that their children didn't raise themselves to obey and respect their parents.

[granulesofsand]

We’re making good on our goal of promoting independence between alters. Part of that is relying less on memory sharing and One Specific Guy to do a task and just learning to do it. Communication makes it so much smoother, and we can still use integrative skills if we want to.

The things I was not expecting about this approach:

We can front for way longer each. It used to be so easy to get pushed back because you don’t have this knowledge and that guy does, and then you just get sidelined because everyone gets cycled through like that. I am glad we have the muscles for voluntary switching, because I can see that easily leading to getting frontstuck or sidelined even worse

Our otherworlds are more active. They already were, but having external experience makes a huge difference in what each of us will branch out to internally, and we have energy left over because we’re not tossing each other around all the time or panicking about whether we can do the thing

More co-consciousness. Doing certain tasks still brings people close to the surface, so we get guidance on how to do the task better. Now I’m glad we learned barriers beforehand, because it gets noisy sometimes

Dissociation is more a control board than a switch, there are lots of dials and slides to futz with once you’ve played around a bit. And just like learning to use the board, it’s gonna take forever and some tears to get the result you wanted, but one bump of the elbow to get one you didn’t. It gets easier, and even when it gets harder you& still have the experience.

[cryptids-in-your-closet]

To all male alters trapped in a female body and wonderibg where their thinglaling went. It was me. I ate it :3

tasted like beef jerky btw

[maybe-meadow]

GIVE IT BACK -Kimble

[the-hadal-zone-sys]

This one is for "strange" traumagenics.

Shoutout to traumaendos and mixed origins systems.

Shoutout to pro-endo traumagenics.

Shoutout to traumagenic headmates within endogenic systems.

Shoutout to non-disordered traumagenic systems.

Shoutout to systems who feel like their trauma isn't "enough" to call themselves traumagenic.

You are seen. You are loved. You aren't alone.

[rawr-systemotes]

none for you sysmeds >:(

SYSMEDS AREN’T PUNK.

[ntls-24722]

If you could entirely revamp any Pizzaplex attraction what would it be? And is it the Fazcade by any chance what would you do with it?

~@monty-glasses-roxy

MAZERCISE. MAZERCISE. MAZERCIIIIIISEEEEEE

THE FAZCADE IS FINE. I FUCK WITH IT (though, i have just one complaint: maybe have stomping grounds/walkways for DJMM on the ground) BUT LIKE. IDK MAZERCISE IS LAME TO ME

I know the theme's like 80's workout tape but i just think it's heavy handed to give it to Chica esp when Chica has been deemed, like, a "fatass" by fanon since forever. That and it just wasn't interesting to me, it was just a maze/puzzle you had to figure out.

The chica of the sea concept that people have had based off that poster rules, I think that should've honestly happened, AND i think it should've been a karaoke place to match with Chica's voice being lost so it's just extra sting to that wound. That and it would fit with merchica, and it just generally fits her character like Chica would totally hype people up and push people onstage and make people sing I THINK IT'D. BE. NICE.

in terms of actual gameplay I think there could be a distraction system to be done with the karaoke machines playing music or maybe there's a specific song that Glamrock Chica used to love singing and even though her voice is all fucked up she'll try anyways, giving the player a little time to run away. Or there's a thing after the previous bit, of trying to find the vent to the catwalk by going to where all the karaoke machines were connected/being managed, and it's dark and spooky and chica's there and ooo oooo LISTEN IDK SOMETHING OTHER THAN MAZERCISE 😭

[sysresources]

SCOUTER

An alter who's role is to search and/or keep an eye out for new or previously dormant alters, changes within the headspace, or anything else the system might need to be notified of. Flag base by @/gorefix

F2U -> credit is appreciated but not required!

[maybe-meadow]

Wednesday and Oona

[sysventing]

Every little thing we find out about our system makes us feel more and more fake.

Not that we genuinely view any traits we have as “signs of faking,” but definitely other people do.

The amount of alters we have, the fact that we even have sidesystems at all, how many subsystems we have, how many introjects we have, how many of us are the same person copied over and over.

And none of those traits mean someone is faking! In fact it more likely points to extreme trauma, even (or especially) if we don’t remember most of it. But according to some, it does mean we’re faking it.

Being plural is the tits. Having a dissociative disorder? Not so much. And yet everything about us that’s disordered is “actually” signs of faking according to certain people.

Non-mod Alter 🪻

[PT: Radqueers and anti-endos do not interact!]