Illuminated (turn the light off)
This is just smth i wrote in like an hour about fem Sirius and her having a secret romance with Remus. It’s Sirius perspective because i feel there’s not enough of that and i love her.
I was inspired by these songs
Surrender - Suicide • True - Spandau Ballet • Take My Breath Away - Berlin
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The brightest star in the sky, that's what Sirius was. Her room, lit up in all different colours of light, shone through the darkness of the night outside her window. An observer would see a perfect framed picture of her in her haven. Maybe that's what made Remus Lupin fall so deeply in love with her, as almost every night he would crawl through that second story window to see her, and for a few moments capture the pure authentic Sirius that no one else got to see.
Sirius was often aware of her exact cadence, body language, and appearance when in social settings, but to see her when she thought no one was watching was something so magical.
She had just entered her room after brushing her teeth when she heard the knock of Remus’ knuckle against her window, a familiar sound that she had been waiting for. Smiling, she quickly climbed over her messy bed to open it for him, a gust of cool summer air wrapping around the two.
“Hello” she spoke softly, propping her head up on the windowsill with her arms, right in front of Remus’ cocky lovestruck face,
“Hello gorgeous” he kissed her cheek before she moved back to allow him to hoist himself up onto her bed that was pushed against the window for this exact reason.
Remus gave her a once over, taking her t-shirt between his fingers and furrowing his brows, smile still everlasting on his face,
“This is my shirt… you told me you didn't know where it was”
Sirius simply looked to the side with a cheeky grin and a shrug of the shoulder, “found it”. She knew Remus couldn't resist that grin, he shook his head, dropping the shirt with a mock sigh of exasperation before leaning in to kiss her.
It was as if he had been waiting all day for that kiss, and in truth he had, it was not since about 5am that he had last kissed her, and it was much too long a wait. He held her by the back of the head close to him as her hands ran over his broad shoulders. The two were not officially dating. It had only been since late last year that they had begun whatever this was called, it was now June.
It was Sirius’ idea to keep their evolved friendship quiet, Remus of course wanted to do the same. They both knew that it was just much easier this way, they didn't have to make the commitment of telling their friends and family, in risk of having to tell them they broke up and consequently make a mess of the friend group. Not telling anyone allowed them to keep the relationship on their unique terms without judgement or expectations. They weren't boyfriend and girlfriend, they didn't want to be, the longing glances and secret touches were much more fun. Of course they were.
Sirius broke the kiss only to put on music, music helped her soul breathe, cleared her mind of all anxiety, and helped her feel moments such as these much more deeply, she was lucky that her and Remus had the same taste in music, maybe that was why she felt so much more connected to him than any other guy she had ever been romantically entwined with. Remus knew the sound of her soul.
“I couldn't stand you today” Remus said softly when she turned around,
“No?” she questioned briefly before climbing onto his lap, looking down at him as she laced her fingers through his messy brown hair. He closed his eyes with a sigh of something pent up being released.
“You looked so good, wore that skirt that I know you don't wear for me, and everyone noticed you, and I couldn't stare, couldn't touch you.”
Sirius began to kiss down his neck, whispering into his skin, “You can touch me now”. She smiled when his hands moved from where they had stilled, (at his sides like they usually do when he gets nervous) to the small of her waist, one hand twirling a tendril of her long black curled hair that had caught under his grip.
The night faded away like a beat in a heavy heart, just like the rest. Waking in his arms with the sun enveloping them in a warmth that would soon leave them with just a sullen feeling and a willingness to wait for the light to return.
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