dream in color

flowers in your hair; stardust in your soul... you're wild and bright, like a dream is. raspberry tender and mint-leaf sweet; always graced with laughter hidden beneath your tongue, always equip with love rushing through your veins. when others think awestruck, they think  you.

[mcahs-blog1]

📱

LAST FIVE SENT TEXTS.

TO SKYLAR  (7:37 pM, NOV 9):  hey, u remember kyle?TO SKYLAR  (7:37 PM, NOV 9):  came home to someone else in our bed.TO SKYLAR  (7:40 PM, NOV 9):  i wish you were still in new york so i could cry to someone other than myself lol is that lame

TO SKYLAR  (8:17 PM, NOV 23):  I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE U BICHTO SKYLAR  (8:17 PM, NOV 23):  ur getting mf tackled tmrw. soon as i land

LAST FIVE UNSENT TEXTS.

TO SKYLAR  (10:10 PM, 2015) !  did i do something wrong today?TO SKYLAR  (10:21 PM, 2015) !  you just… shut down on me? i’m sorry if i pushed to far or somethin’. did you not… want me to kiss you? i shouldn’t have. it was stupid, i know. i’m sorry. please don’t….. leave

TO SKYLAR  (4:44 AM, 2015) !  it’s okay if you don’t wanna, like, kiss. just tell me and i’ll back off.TO SKYLAR  (4:45 AM, 2015) !  you make me feel close to home.

TO SKYLAR  (5:37 AM, 2015) !  i don’t know where to put my hands when we talk

LAST SNAPCHAT SENT.

NOV 28  (7 SECONDS)  thinkin of u :)

CONTACT NAME.

sky ☁️

CONTACT PHOTO.

PERSONAL RINGTONE.

as of last night, it’s 100% best of both worlds

NUMBER OF CALLS THIS WEEK.

only two !  — after the entire ordeal in new york, micah still has some underlying fear of sky rejecting a friendship this time around, so he doesn’t call that much. 

NUMBER OF MISSED CALLS.

a lot.  (lowkey: micah distanced himself after getting rejected.)

[mcahs-blog1]

📱

LAST FIVE SENT TEXTS.

TO CAMDEN  (5:37 AM, NOV 24):  excited to come home :D and see uTO CAMDEN  (5:37 AM, NOV 24):  tell me when you get home safe, yeah?TO CAMDEN  (5:38 AM, NOV 24):  i’ll see you there :-) <3

TO CAMDEN  (4:06 AM, NOV 30):  hia ur sleepin next 2o me:DTO CAMDEN  (4:19 AM, NOV 30):  thanku for coming misorry i threw up insink

LAST FIVE UNSENT TEXTS.

TO CAMDEN  (3:30 AM, 2014) !  i’m so proud you’re chasing your dreams but there’s a pain in my chest that i just can’t shake & i think it has a lot to do with you leavingTO CAMDEN  (3:37 AM, 2014) !  i miss you so bad it hurts and i don’t know how to stop crying

TO CAMDEN  (10:14 PM, 2017) !  i can’t believe you’re married, it’s… surreal. i love you. i’m sorry i never told you.

TO CAMDEN  (9:37 PM, NOV 12):  can’t believe i didn’t realize how close you were!! had a lot of fun this weekend, u’ll have to come here next :DTO CAMDEN  (9:44 PM, NOV 12) !  i slept better next to you than i have in years

TO CAMDEN  (9:37 AM, NOV 30) !  i’ve liked you since i was fourteen. i want to kiss you so bad that it hurts. i love you, camden moon– i think i always will.

LAST SNAPCHAT SENT.

NOV 30 (7 SECONDS)  i survived the hangover :D

CONTACT NAME.

CAMDONG!!🌭

CONTACT PHOTO.

PERSONAL RINGTONE.

i’m low on gas and you need a jacket,  cavetown cover.

NUMBER OF CALLS THIS WEEK.

right at seven, once or twice a day– he walks a lot of places and camden makes him feel safe.

NUMBER OF MISSED CALLS.

maybe three, all during the few years micah was attempting to forget his feelings.

[mcahs-blog1]

📱

LAST FIVE SENT TEXTS.

TO JAESEONG  (9:37 AM, NOV 9):  hey, jae… been thinking about you a lot recently.TO JAESEONG  (9:38 AM, NOV 9):  you ever think about kissin’ me?

TO JAESEONG  (12:03 PM):  update: im sober but dying TO JAESEONG  (1:00 PM):  update #2: im sober and aliveTO JAESEONG  (1:00 PM):  thanks for checkin on me last night :)

LAST FIVE UNSENT TEXTS.

TO JAESEONG  (2:45 AM, NOV 25) !  sorry about making you kiss me last night.TO JAESEONG  (2:47 AM, NOV 25) !  i didn’t mean to overstep, or anything. it just.. happens when i drink. i start thinkin’ about you, i start thinking about how nice it was to have someone care.

TO JAESEONG  (8:07 PM, NOV 27) !  thinking about what u said the other night and… i hope u know that i did love you. truly. with my whole heart.TO JAESEONG  (8:09 AM, NOV 27) !  u deserved someone who could love u better, somehow. and i couldn’t figure out how.TO JAESEONG  (2:47 AM, NOV 25) !  you’ve crossed my mind a lot these past few days

LAST SNAPCHAT SENT.

NOV 30 (5 SECONDS)  so many choices …

CONTACT NAME.

jae 🍑

CONTACT PHOTO.

PERSONAL RINGTONE.

floral and fading,  pierce the veil.

NUMBER OF CALLS THIS WEEK.

probably two.

NUMBER OF MISSED CALLS.

more than micah would like to admit. he got distance for a week or two after the initial break up & drifted even further after graduation.

[promptsareus-blog1]

Send me a “📱” and I will answer the following:

What was my muses 5 last sent texts yours?

What was my muses 5 last unsent texts yours.?

What was my muses last snapchat to yours?

What my muse saved your number as?

What contact photo my muse has set for yours?

What ringtone my muse has set for yours?

How many times my muse has called your this week?

How many calls has my muse missed from yours?

[mcahs-blog1]

HERE  COMES  A  FEELING  YOU  THOUGHT  YOU’D  FORGOTTEN  ...

MICAH OHN,  regarding @camdcn !

[mcahs-blog1]

SAY  THAT  YOU’RE  STILL  THINKING  OF  ME  …

MICAH OHN,  regarding @ftjaeseong !

[ftjaeseong-blog]

micah ohn + jaeseong park.

↳  ‘ we were in love, weren’t we ? ’

                                                                                                 ‘ or maybe we just thought we were. ‘

[mcahs-blog1]

ftjaeseong.

                   deeply sighing out loud. this was all going against their better judgement. more than anything jae wanted the other to be happy. but was it worth being hurt yourself for someone else’s happiness. “i don’t know? okay, you’re so confusing when you’re like this,” jae mumbled. they leaned into micah’s soft touch. “if i kiss you once will you let it go?”

                    a fit of giggles escape from soft lips that are just begging to be kissed. something about being told he’s confusing tonight is borderline hilarious. their words bring a bright smile to his face, stretching to nose along his jaw.  ‘  you should only kiss me if you want to kiss me, babe.  ’  the pet name rolls of his tongue easily, like it’s muscle memory. he presses a chaste kiss to his jaw, almost like he’s testing the waters.  ‘  but, just so you know, i’d really like to kiss you. i’d like it a lot.  ’

[mcahs-blog1]

camdcn.

‘ mom, i’m taking your car ! ’ camden calls out, his voice echoing off the walls of the house. no answer. he grabbed the keys regardless and pulled on a jacket before heading out the door to drive to micah’s aunt’s house. he wasn’t particularly in the mood to sit in a bar, but he’d much rather sit in a bar with micah than let him drink by himself and try to get home in the cold and snow. when he finds himself outside of the house, he pulls out his phone and sends a quick message to his friend:

camden: im outside in the car come on out :~)

                     there’s very few words that can describe the pain that comes with witnessing the person you gave your heart to (for three years) move on to another person-- especially when that other person is the someone you witnessed in your shared bed. which leads micah to his current predicament: choosing to drink about it, not think about it. he’s eager for the burn that comes with washing liquor down his throat  &  oddly excited to feel the ache in the morning. (it’s better than feeling the lingering ache of his heart so early.) eyes are smudged with liner and he’s wearing a sweater that slinks off his shoulders in a way that renders the warmth aspect useless. a soft ping brings him out of his haze:

micah: never! heh... just kiddin i’m coming out now :D

he’s practically floating when he drops into the passenger seat, giddy smiles on his face to mask the hurt in his eyes.  ‘  hiya, cam.  ’  the words slide by with ease as he melts into the seat,  ‘  thanks for comin’.  ’

[mcahs-blog1]

ftjaeseong.

                  why did the other have to be so cute? it wasn’t fair. jae didn’t have these feelings while they were away at college, sure micah started calling them up after things with kyle. telling jae how much he missed them. but this was somehow different, jae was finally face to face with the other and they couldn’t hide behind their phone screen this time. “why do you want me to kiss you?” they asked. “so you can just forget about me in the morning?”

                    in a drunken state, he manages to remain blissfully unaware of the very dangerous game he’s playing: a game that only allows for old feelings to be given a joust  &  current feelings to be, well... hurt, for lack of a better word.  ‘  why wouldn’t i want you kiss you, jae ?  i-- i don’t want to forget.  ’  the back of his hand brushes along the other’s jaw,  ‘  i KNOW you’re a good kisser, i missed kissin’ you. that’s why, honest.  ’

[mcahs-blog1]

MICAH OHN,  as seen on instagram !

[mcahs-blog1]

MICAH OHN,  as seen on finsta !

[mcahs-blog1]

camdcn.

camden looks sideways at micah, just enough to see how sad his eyes are, though he’s grinning. ‘ faded with age ? please ! i’m sharp as a tack. ’ he doesn’t even mention how beautiful micah is or how no one could ever possibly compare to him– not even delilah. camden shuts his eyes for a moment and all the memories he’s ever made with micah come flooding back. there’s far too many to pick a favorite. ‘ how about prom night ? you went with sabine, i went with… fuck, what was her name ? i got so drunk that night, but i remember every second. ’ he remembers how handsome micah had looked, how badly he wanted to dance with him and hold him close like all the couples did, how badly he wanted to go home with him that night and sleep next to him. ‘ but i can’t remember that girl’s name. ’

                     the memories make micah’s heart swell in the best possible way, honestly. he’s all to familiar with the constant memories of prom night-- the desire to be the one who made a constant appearance in camden’s prom memories was almost overwhelming at the time. he doesn’t remember the girl’s name either. he doesn’t exactly care to know it; it’d probably leave him with a streak of burning jealousy.  ‘  don’t remember much of her, either. i do remember you drinking, though !  your dancing was ... something else, truly.  ’  funny and captivating in a way that would probably only make sense to micah, but he’ll tactfully leave that part out.  ‘  i liked your tie that night, it was cute. ’   code for:  you were absolutely breath taking.

[mcahs-blog1]

ftjaeseong.

                   jae sighed, they did love micah too. but they were better just friends and that’s what they thought as soon as they both left to go off to college. “i did love you to,” jae replied. god, micah was going a great job of making them feel bad. jae decided that micah isn’t allowed to drink anymore when they are around because jae couldn’t handle how guilty micah was making them feel. “i -”  jae quickly left a small peck on the others lips. it was just a small platonic kiss and nothing more. “there a kiss.”

                      it’s not a particularly groundbreaking kiss, but it’s enough to wash a feeling of content over the smaller of the pair; enough to have him chasing after jae’s lips as he pulls pack. a mischievous grin tugs on his lips,  ‘  jaeseong,  ’  he whines again, but this time it’s in a playful manner,  ‘  i know for a fact that you can do better than that.  ’

[mcahs-blog1]

camdcn.

cam’s heart skips a beat when he sees the smile on the other’s face – could it be that micah remembers those nights like he does ? could it be that when he thinks about high school, micah can’t help but think about those times they got drunk and kissed ? could it be that- no, no, no. micah’s been engaged since then. he was with jae even before that. he wouldn’t remember high school in that way. he couldn’t. ‘ you couldn’t have known he was a cheating bastard. he seemed so nice until then ! ’

                    ‘  the girl-- delilah-- was really pretty, like, absolutely stunning... and a good dancer. so, i get why it happened, y’know ?  i get why i stopped being enough.  ’  he laughs, but this time its uncomfortable. her name still tastes bitter on his tongue. micah shakes the thought, flips a switch, wills positive micah to come back. micah speaks up again, this time with a happier and teasing tone,  ‘  fuck him, though. i’m here now, with you. that’s all i need right now----- throw some more nostalgia at me, will ya ?  or has your memory faded with age ? ’

[mcahs-blog1]

ftjaeseong.

              jae shivered feeling the others warm breath on their neck. they agreed that this wasn’t fair. of course jae thought about kissing him. micah was a nice kisser, not that jae has kissed many people to compare. “how could i forget high school, those were the best years of my life with the whole  group. but maybe we just thought we were in love… we only agreed to be friends, didn’t we?”  they tenderly brush their thumb against the others flushed red cheeks (most likely from the alcohol.) “i don’t think it’s a good idea that we should.” 

                    another whine tumbles by plump lips, and suddenly he’s entirely made up of furrowed brows and dramatic frowns.  ‘  do you really think that, jae ?  i don’t ... i don’t think that it was a lie. i loved you, jaeseong park. it’s okay if you didn’t love me back. my fiance didn’t either. but i did love you, honest.  ’  he sighs, pressing into the gentle touch along his flushed cheeks.  ‘  that’s okay too, if you really think so. i’d just-- i’d really appreciate it, if you would like to kiss me, is all.  ’

[mcahs-blog1]

camdcn.

‘ of course i remember. ’ camden says. ‘ you’d lie in bed with me and we’d talk about… nothing important. ’ he grins, eyes flickering over to where his friend sat on the floor. he has to repeat that word over and over again – friend, friend, friend – as he thinks about when they’d lied in bed together, faces close enough to kiss, but never taking the chance. ‘ i miss living close enough to you to do stuff like that. ’ a shake of the head as he turns back to his stove. ‘ i miss living close to everyone. boston’s so lonely. ’

                    a helpless smile stretches across his face and a warm feeling overtakes him. he remembers the nights that camden described all too well. he remembers the bed being an almost perfect fit for the two of them; the way his heart raced because, if he moved his head just right, they’d be kissing.  YEAH.  he remembers it vividly.  ‘  i get it. i missed you-- missed everyone, really. i’ll have to do better at keeping in touch. hopefully, i won’t be getting wrapped up in dead end relationships this time.  ’