I'll take your hand right in mine

Narcissa Black Mckinnon

[mckinnonnarcissa]

Our Bonfire Hearts || Narcissa & Ben || England

[mckinnonbenjamin]

For a moment, Benjamin McKinnon had no idea where he was. He was with Narcissa obviously, and he could just make out Carina next to her. But where was he? Somewhere white. And clean. He could make out the smell of antiseptic potion. It was very strong. He must be at a hospital. As soon as he realized where he was, everything that had happened all came flooding back. The Quidditch match, the bludger, falling. He gasped, his eyes widening. Worry filled his expression. What happened? Did they win? Was the substitute Chaser good enough to fill Ben’s shoes. Adam was good in practice, but was he good enough to pick up the slack that would surely pile up in Ben’s absence. This had been a huge game. Every game was huge this season. The Tornadoes had not lost a game once this year, and were not keen to lose their undefeated record. Ben groaned, his eyes closing. If they lost to the Appleby Arrows then Ben would never be able to show his face in public ever again. Carina, who seemed to think her dad was in pain for some reason, moved towards the door. Presumably to fetch a nurse. Ben moved his head, attempting to clear his throat. He called out for his daughter, “Wait-” He swallowed again, “Did we, erm, lose?” he managed to croak out. Carina turned around, giving her Dad an incredulous look. He didn’t turn to check, but he was sure that her expression was identical to that of Narcissa’s. He supposed he could understand where they were coming from. After all, he was lying in a bloody hospital bed, for Merlin’s sake. Why was he worrying about Quidditch? But Ben just couldn’t help it. Next to his family, Quidditch was the most important thing in his life. It was something he would worry about even if he was in the hospital.

Carina stepped away from the door and sat back down next to both her mother and Ben’s bed with a resigned expression on her face. She had sort of assumed that the first thing her father would want to know was how the game had ended. She’d hoped that he would at least put his health before his teams record, but obviously that had been a pipe dream. Still, despite what she had hoped, she had heard from Tobias what the final score of the game had been. Affectionately, Carina reached for Ben’s hand, and Ben, despite the fact that this action caused him the slightest bit of pain, did not react. He just smiled back at his daughter. Running her thumb over his palm, his eldest daughter informed Ben that the Tornadoes had in fact beat the Arrows. Ben’s body literally relaxed in relief. Okay. At least now, when he returned to work, his team would still have their undefeated record. Coughing a slight bit, Ben managed to say, “That’s good.”

Turning his head to look at his wife, he began to smile, but then his expression dropped when he heard the annoyance in her voice. He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again. Merlin, what potions had they given him? His tongue felt like a block of lead. Swallowing once more, he tried to speak, “I didn’t mean-” he swallowed again, “- to make you worry. It wasn’t like I-” Swallow. “-meant to get hurt.” Carina, seeming to understand that Ben was thirsty, reached over her mother for the glass of water on the side table. She brought it to Ben’s lips to let him drink for a second before pulling it away. After being a little more hydrated, Ben suddenly found it a lot easier to speak. Looking at Narcissa once again, he tried to give her what he thought was a reassuring smile, “I’m sorry for scaring you like that. I never get hurt.” That was a big fat lie. Ben hurt himself at least once every game, but they were all minor injuries, such as bruises and scrapes. He was right in the fact that he’d never been hurt like this before, “I’ll be fine. They already healed my broken bones. I know my nose had to have broken, and it feels great now. I’ll be as good as new. You don’t have to worry.”

[mckinnonnarcissa]

Narcissa could hardly believe her ears. He was thinking about Quidditch? At a time like this? It probably would have been easier for Ben to die in a tragic accident. It might have been less painful than what Narcissa was planning. She wanted to throttle her husband, burn the body and then maybe bring him back to life just so she could do it again.  Narcissa didn't think she was being overly dramatic when her face contorted into an expression of utter disbelief, with daggers shooting from her eyes. Ben needed to realise how utterly ridiculous he was being. The fact Carina followed up by indulging his crazy response made the situation worse. Narcissa turned to glare at her daughter as well. They were both as bad as each other. It was times like this Narcissa thought she was the only sensible one in the family.

Her face softened slightly though when Ben gazed up at her. It was too hard to stay mad, not when she had come so close to losing him. Watching him try to speak only reminded Narcissa of how scared she had been just moments ago. "I know you didn't mean to," she murmured, her fingers twisting into Ben's sheets. The cotton felt rough against her finger tips. Obviously St Mungo's couldn't afford high quality sheets. "But you know how lucky you are Ben?" She paused again. Truthfully she still didn't know exactly what Ben's current situation was. The healer had simply said he would be waking up and able to talk. Rather than let Ben know she had know idea whether he was right or not, Narcissa smiled fondly at him. There was no use in upsetting him. "Your nose actually looks better than it did before actually," she said, trying her best to sound lighthearted. 

Luckily she was saved from having to keep it up by sharp rap at the door. Before she even had a chance to reply, bodies began piling through the door. Unable to help herself Narcissa huddled closer to Ben protectively, leaning into his body as much as she could without touching him, until she saw it was her family. Corvus and Nash rushed to the bed, with Lyra tagging along just behind them. Anderson hung back, his face pulled into a frown as his eyes darted around the room. After a moment though, he followed his siblings to Ben's bed, where they all crowded around. She could barely make out a word they were saying, as all four tried to make themselves heard. Narcissa was about try and settle them down, although she was secretly happy at how concerned they all were, when she noticed Ben's family making their way into the room as well. Ella lead the charge, as the Mckinnons crowded the rickety bed. Even on the best of days, the Mckinnons were a nuisance that she barely tolerated. Today though Narcissa wasn't having any of it. "Get out," she said, the words almost a snarl. "Ben is tired. He needs his rest. And you're crowding him." The words shot out of Narcissa's mouth like bullets and she stared down Ella pointedly. This was not a fight she was prepared to lose. 

[mckinnonnarcissa]

Our Bonfire Hearts || Narcissa & Ben || England

[mckinnonbenjamin]

'Woah!' Ben thought, swinging left, narrowly avoiding a bludger that had been sent his way. That was a close one. Pulling upwards on the handle of his broom, Ben flew over the opposing team's seeker, and then dipped back down, racing towards the goal. He had the quaffle tucked under his arm, half his focus on not being hit by a bludger, and the other half, making sure the red ball did not fall from his grasp. As he neared the hoops, he began pulling his arm back to score. That exhilaration that came from scoring points returned and a smile began to form on his face. Merlin, he loved his job. As he reared his arm back to throw, one of his fellow chasers called out his name, “Mckinnon! Watch out!” Ben turned his head, looking to the source of his teammate's apprehension. It all happened so fast, that Ben didn't even have time to think. One moment, he was having the time of his life, about to score ten points for his team. The next, he was hit so hard, it was lucky his brain hadn't fell out of his skull. He wasn't conscious as he fell to the ground. As the speeding ball of iron connected with his face, Ben dropped the quaffle. He hadn't done that in years. Later, when he woke up, his children would ask him if it had hurt, being hit by the bludger. He would tell them no. Because it didn't. He didn't feel a single thing. He didn't feel the sensation that came with his nose breaking, or his orbital bone snapping as if it were a simple twig. He didn't feel anything.

As Ben’s body landed on the ground with a thud, the whole stadium seemed to go still in shock for one single moment. It only lasted for just that, a moment. Then, everything snapped back into place with a vicious vibrancy. The crowd started yelling, whether it be for Ben, or for the game, no one knew. The opposing team’s chaser flew to the ground and grabbed the quaffle, not casting one glance at Ben. This was professional Quidditch and sometimes people got hurt. There was no use dwelling on it, and it wasn’t as if people hadn’t seen worse injuries before. The game returned with full spirit, and Ben’s fall to the ground had been forgotten by most of the people in the crowd. All, save for a few. Tobias, who’d been sitting in the family box with Cissa, and three of Ben’s children had jumped out of his seat the moment Ben was hit and had not sat down until they were at the hospital. He wanted to rush down to the field so he could check on his best mate. But he realized that he needed to stay and watch Ben’s kids, since his wife had run down to check on her husband. In the back of his head, he knew of course, that Carina was perfectly capable of taking care of the kids for a minute or two, but he knew Ben would not have liked for them to be left alone in a time like this. So he stayed, keeping an especially stern eye on Carina, because he knew how close she was to jumping out of her seat and running after her mother. Nash looked as if he was going to be sick, and Corvus’s face was blank. Ben’s eldest son seemed to be in shock at seeing his dad fall like that. Tobias’s own mind was racing. Magic could heal a lot of things, but a blow like that to the head could kill on impact. He had no idea what sort of condition Ben was in. Tobias felt Carina’s hand on his arm and he turned his head to meet her eyes. She looked stricken and her eyes darted to the door, “Why can’t we go see him?!” Tobias began shaking his head before she finished speaking, “Your mum said to stay here, so that’s what we’re going to do.” As if summoned, Narcissa burst through the door, motioning for them to get up, “They’re taking him to St. Mungos.”

At the hospital, Ben’s family seemed to be in a frenzy. Ben’s sisters were buzzing around Narcissa, asking if she’d heard anything and Ransom was standing next to the kids, reassuring them that their dad would be okay. Carina seemed to ignore her uncle, and instead stopped every healer that passed them, asking if there was any update on Ben’s condition. Corvus and Nash were also ignoring Ransom and instead were having a low conversation. Corvus was doing most of the talking, with Nash just staring wide eyed at his older brother. Ransom turned and glanced over at his sister in law. Ella and Marlene were both badgering her with questions, comments, and concerns. Ransom shook his head. He knew his sisters meant well, but he knew just how irritated Narcissa was getting. Walking over, he put a hand on Ella’s shoulder, offering to go get Anderson from his parents. He was old enough and he should be here to see his dad whenever he woke up. Cissa nodded in response and he gave a gentle smile, turning and walking to the door. He clapped both of his nephews on the shoulder, herding them out the door. It would be easier on Narcissa if he took them with him. Corvus was a bit reluctant to leave and tossed a worried glance towards his mother. But Ransom reassured him that they would be back, and minutes later they were gone.

Carina watched her brothers go, silently thanking Merlin that she wasn’t asked to leave as well. She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her head on them, waiting for some sort of news. Time seemed to drag on forever and ever, but finally, a Healer stopped in front of them. “Mrs. McKinnon?” he asked, “You can go in and see your husband now.” Carina lifted her head, her heart lurching. She rose seconds after her mother and grabbed her hand. She wasn’t sure if that was meant to comfort her or her mother. When Narcissa turned to tell her that she didn’t have to go in with her, Carina clenched her jaw. She shook her head fiercely. That was her dad in there and no one was going to stop her from going in there and seeing him. Cissa seemed to see something in Carina’s gaze that affected her. Giving her mum a gentle smile, the eldest Mckinnon motioned to the door that hid her father and the two set off towards it. Outside the door, Carina took a deep breath, not sure what she would see when she went inside of it. Giving her mother a reassuring smile, Carina opened the door.

Inside the hospital room, Ben remained unconscious. He didn’t hear his wife and daughter come into the room, nor did he hear them sit down. He didn’t resemble himself at all. There was something about hospital beds that made people seem small and frail. There were multiple bandages on his face and a patch on his wrist that transmitted his vitals to the floating monitor next to his bed. The healers had done their best to heal him and had actually done a lot of good for Ben. His broken bones had been healed and any bleeding had been stopped. Most of the problems that couldn’t be healed were in his head. The healers hadn’t been able to heal everything. Which was why Ben was still sleeping. But he was predicted to wake up any minute now. Ben, deciding for once, to be predictable, began to stir. Maybe it was because Cissa was there, or just that it was just time for him to wake up. But, for whatever reason, he was glad because when he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Narcissa. He managed to form a smile, though his muscles felt like lead to due to all the potions in his body. Opening his mouth, he struggled to talk, because his mouth was fuzzy. But he was determined to say something, “Cissa.” was all he managed, before his jaw clamped shut. His smile disappeared, because it was causing too much strain on his face, but his eyes were bright, as they always were when he looked at his wife.

[mckinnonnarcissa]

Narcissa was almost accustomed to the way Ben looked now. If she stared at his hand, it was almost normal. Not quite its usual tan, his skin was slightly waxen, but almost normal. The rest of his body still moved slightly as Ben took shallow breaths in his sleep. That was better than nothing, Narcissa told herself. This morning she hadn’t been certain she would get even that. The fact Ben was still here a start. A good start. All she had to do now was focus on waiting as patiently as she could. It wasn’t easy. All her life Narcissa had been used to getting what she wanted. Now, when she only wanted Ben back - it wasn’t much to ask, was it?- she was forced to wait for answers. It was selfish she knew, Ben was probably better off sleeping for as long as possible so his body could rest, but Narcissa needed to hear his voice. Maybe then she would be able to choke down the bile that kept rising periodically from her stomach, threatening to embarrass Narcissa. Her eyes had been dry the entire day, but she she wasn’t sure how much longer that would last either. Over in the corner, Carina’s face was stony mirror of Narcissa’s. She had barely moved since they arrived. Every now and then her fingers curled and uncurled, but that was about it. Narcissa tried to smile at her whenever their eyes met, but the grim line on her face couldn’t have been reassuring.

It seemed like an age before Ben started to twitch, although in reality only minutes had ticked by. First of all there was a slight jittering of his hand. His fingers slowly began dancing against the sheets. At the movement, a small choking sound fell from Narcissa’s lips. Carina flew over from her chair, blonde hair whipping about from the speed of her movement. She rammed into Narcissa’s side, pressing against her mother for support. Their hands found each other again and their fingers locked together. By now Ben’s body was rolling slightly in the bed. His eyelashes fluttered, each flicker causing more hope to rise in Narcissa’s heart. It was going to be alright. Of course it was. She gave Carina’s hand a hard squeeze, both of their palms slick with sweat.

Leaning over Ben, Narcissa hovered anxiously. She desperately wanted to run her hands through his hair to reassure him as he woke but there was hardly any hair visible through the bandages. She settled for resting her free hand on his pillow. Ben’s eyes flicked open and the corners of Narcissa’s mouth immediately curled into a smile. “Hey,” she whispered back, not really expecting an answer. Ben already looked worn out from simply saying her name. She gently ran her thumb along the edge of his face, finally able to breathe properly. Ben was awake and talking. Her lungs flooded with a heady mixture of oxygen and relief as she kept staring into Ben’s eyes. “You had me worried, you idiot.” Even though she was already feeling better, her voice still sounded slightly harsh from underuse. Narcissa leaned back into her chair, removing her hand as well to give Ben some space. Next to her Carina was silently watching, lips clammed shut, probably trying to assess the damage. It was maybe the first time in years her daughter had no words for a situation. Carina slid in closer to Narcissa, who in turn shuffled in her seat to make room. Unable to help herself Narcissa continued in a reproachful voice, “You had all of us worried.”

[mckinnonnarcissa]

Our Bonfire Hearts || Narcissa & Ben || England

Narcissa McKinnon was going to be a single mother now. She had been sure of it. Because no one survived a fall like that. Or even simply a blow to the head like that. When she shut her eyes, all Cissa could see was the stomach churning moment when the bludger hit Ben square in the face. She had been too far away to hear what must have been a sickening thud. At least someone on the sidelines had their wits in check enough to slow down Ben as he dropped like a stone towards the ground, because Narcissa had been unable to do more than watch. Her voice stuck in the back of her throat, she hadn’t even screamed. It had only been a few moments before Ben hit the ground. Seconds that stretched for an eternity and seemed almost peaceful. Curiously her mind hadn’t even been racing, like she always imagined it would in a situation like this. She just had a singular thought. No. Not Ben. It was when he hit the turf that everything finally turned to turmoil. Narcissa just managed to convince Carina and the boys to stay where they were, before she flew down the stairs.

It was just the start of the pushing Cissa had felt necessary that day. She had forced her way through the crowds, just in time to see Ben’s limp body being carried off the field. His manager found her, anxiously hanging over the barrier, and started babbling about St Mungos. At those words Narcissa had swung around and forced her way back up the stands. Back to her children. She could barely remember the journey to St Mungos, but she was certain that had been full of jostling and pushing as well. Carina striding through the halls, trying to get answers. Corvus jabbing at Nash’s side in order to keep him on track. Ben’s family yapping at Narcissa. The Mckinnons, she still referred to them as a unit even though she had technically been one of them for years, seemed to think they were being helpful but Narcissa wanted them to just disappear. She didn’t need them. They didn’t need them. Narcissa tried her best to ignore Ben’s family. Instead she focused on sitting still, just as her mother had taught her to decades ago. Let them run around in a panic, hugging and crying. What would it achieve? The only time she paid attention was when Ransom gently suggested that he and Ella go to pick him Anderson. A terse nod was the best reply she could muster. She wanted to say thank you, but when she opened her mouth no words came out. Ransom understood though. He nodded back and bundled Corvus and Nash out the door as well, to stop them from wearing a hole in the thin carpet.

Finally, just when Cissa was certain she was about to completely lose the thin shell of sanity she had constructed, she was told she would be allowed to see him. Narcissa exhaled a breath she had been holding in for hours and the iron grip around her heart seemed to loosen slightly. That had to be good news, she told herself. She rose shakily, brushing down the front of her robes as she tried to gather her thoughts. Carina rose as well and grabbed at her mother’s hand. Narcissa looked down, the contact jolting her slightly. “You don’t have to come,” she said, stroking Carina’s face with her free hand. Carina shook her head fiercely though and set her jaw in a way that was so Black it made Cissa’s soul ache. Knowing it wasn’t worth the fight, she dropped her hand from Carina’s face. Together the two of them set off behind the healing witch. Every step Narcissa took was a prayer. Please let him be okay. Please let me be able to tell him how much I love him. Please don’t let him leave me.

He looked even worse than Narcissa had imagined, because he looked too frail, and that was one thing Ben was. He looks so broken that for the first time that day Narcissa wants to weep. Instead she pulled up a chair and pressed it so tightly against the bed her legs would probably bruise. Carina curled up on a chair in the corner and watched the door as if she was daring someone to walk in with bad news. More minutes ticked by as Narcissa watched Ben’s face for any sign of movement. Wary of the bandages and bruising, she stroked a free patch of skin on his hand. “Don’t you dare leave me now McKinnon,” she whispered forcefully. “I can’t live without you and you know it.”

[mckinnonbenjamin]

Lovesick, Lovestruck || Narcissa & Ben || France

[mckinnonbenjamin]

Ben’s smile widened whenever he felt Narcissa relax against his body. It was nice, being able to kiss her out in the open. Back at school, it was always secret meetings at night or a rendezvous in the broom closet. Never before, had he been able to reach for her and bring her close. Of course, Cissa didn’t really like it all that much whenever he did that now, but the point was that he was able to. With a glowing smile, Ben ran his pointer finger across her lower lip, admiring the fullness. Unable to help himself, he leaned again, capturing her mouth. After a minute or so, he released her. She needed to breath after all. When he pulled away, he licked his lips, tasting wine and something even sweeter. When Narcissa laid her head down to rest upon the blanket, he followed her lead, his own head resting inches from hers. She was silent after his comment. He didn’t think anything of it. Sometimes it was okay not to respond. The quiet was nice. Maybe that was why they were so good together, Ben and Narcissa. She could keep every moment interesting, without even saying a word. And Ben, well, he talked so much you wouldn’t even get a chance to be bored.

Shuffling closer to his fiance, Ben let his leg slide in between hers, yearning to be as close as possible to her. Wrapping an arm over her torso, Ben’s minded wandered back a few years ago, back to when they were both in school. He thought about what his fifteen year old self would say if he were to know where Ben was right now. He probably wouldn’t believe it. After all, when Ben was fifteen, he was rolling in the sheets with Rita Skeeter and was infatuated with Emma Vanity. Narcissa Black was nothing more than his conceited, yet rightly so, best friend. Never would he have dreamed that in just a few years he’d be laying on a blanket in the French countryside after running away from his family. And with Narcissa of all people. But despite how incredulous this all seemed, Ben was ecstatic to be here, and wouldn’t have chosen anything differently. Sure, he missed his family incredibly, not to mention Tobias. But nothing beat getting to run away with the girl he was going to marry.

Lost in his thoughts, Ben did not hear Narcissa at first. But when he heard her talking, he realized she was answering the question he’d asked a few minutes ago. Her knock against Quidditch had him scrunching his face in protest and he shook his head slowly, “I bet you secretly love Quidditch.” He cocked his eyebrow. He enjoyed teasing her about the things that annoyed her, which included Quidditch. Ben moved his arm, reaching for the wine, as Cissa rolled onto her back. He gulped down a few more sips of wine before passing the bottle to Cissa, squirming away from her poking and prodding fingers.

[mckinnonnarcissa]

Narcissa watched Ben's face screw up and smiled at the way his eyes crinkled in annoyance. He was such a child sometimes. He had the same reaction every time she insulted any of his favourite things. So predictable. She didn't mind though. Ben was her one constant these days and Narcissa found herself reveling in knowing these little details. She thought she had known Ben before but that was nothing compared to how well she knew him now. Being together, just the two of them, meant that now Ben really did feel like her other half. The missing part of her soul that slotted perfectly against her rough edges, completing her. Not that she liked to tell him that. His head was already big enough.

Her grin only wavered slightly when Ben spoke, sounding so confident she wanted to roll her eyes. She took the wine from him happily though and shimmied so she was sitting up. "I hate Quidditch and you know it,” she said bluntly. Taking a swig from the bottle, in way that was most unladylike way, Narcissa waited a few moments for the slight burn in the back of her throat to pass before she spoke again. "Well I hate watching you play Quidditch," she murmured, running her finger around the rim of the wine bottle. "It makes me realise how dangerous it is." Narcissa could still remember the fear that used to build in her stomach back at Hogwarts, whenever she was dragged along to watch Ben play. Normally she could get out of it by making up some pathetic excuse to Theo. If Slytherin was playing though, Narcissa was expected to be there to support Lucius. She had never smiled so hard as she did during those games, constantly trying to push back the rising vomit as she waited for something to go terribly wrong. 

Lost in thought, Narcissa took another gulp of wine. And then another, just because it was France and who was there to stop them. Then just one more for good luck. Narcissa set the bottle down again before she was tempted to take another sip.  Finally she turned her attention back to Ben. The waning rays from the sun were hitting his hair and making it shine in a way that seemed unnatural. The only thing brighter was his smile. Narcissa wanted to pinch herself. Instead though she leaned over to lay a kiss against his cheek. "I love you, " she whispered, the words pressed onto his skin. 

[mckinnonbenjamin]

Lovesick, Lovestruck || Narcissa & Ben || France

[mckinnonbenjamin]

Ben regarded Narcissa with an air of amusement, finding it endearing that she smelled the wine. He wasn’t sure if she did just to appear as if she was fancy or something. That was something fancy people did, right? They smelled the wine and could tell if it was good? Maybe it was something she’d learned growing up in the aristocratic atmosphere that she had. Ben couldn’t exactly see what point there was to sniffing the wine. Wine didn’t have any special smell. It just smelled like wine. Besides, wasn’t the point of wine to get drunk? Wine was wine and even if it was fancy or cheap, after drinking enough of it you’d end up drunk. When Cissa actually put the bottle to her lips, Ben gazed at her adoringly, his eyes taking in her appearance. Reaching out, he brushed his fingertips across her knee, jutting out his lower lip in a pout in response to her saying she wouldn’t lie down with him.

When she lowered her body to the blanket, Ben prepared to grab her and pull her against him, despite whatever protests she might have come up with. But when she settled herself next to him, he contented himself with just lying next to him. As they settled into silence, Ben listened to the sound of the area around them. The way that the countryside sounded was like music to his ears. The wind, or the crickets and even the sound of the owls rustling in the trees was comforting, when compared to the raucous sounds of the city. As he stared up at the ceiling, he focused on getting his breathing to match with Narcissa’s. This was a bit more difficult than he thought, because he generally seemed to take deeper breaths than the girl laying next to him. Maybe it was because he was bigger than she was. Giving up on his little game, Ben turned his head, smiling when he met her eyes. He leaned forward, brushing his lips to her forehead, “We can stay here as long you want.”

Rolling onto his side, he kissed her forehead once again, then her cheek, and finally her lips. Brushing his fingertips against her cheek, he pulled apart, “It’s awesome here, right?” he murmured. He gestured with his hand, “France.” He licked his lips. “It’s way better than England, if you ask me. Good food, great Quidditch, and lots and lots of wine.”

[mckinnonnarcissa]

It was as if Ben's lips contained magical power. Unable to help herself, Narcissa's body rocked forward so she could lean in closer as he kissed her forehead. The corners of her mouth curled up happily as Ben's lips gently made their across her face. Narcissa liked to imagine this was what being worshiped felt like. Finally she felt his lips against hers and she forced herself to relax into the kiss, enjoying the soft touch of Ben's mouth. After sneaking around at Hogwarts,sometimes it was hard to remember that it was actually okay. That no one was going to come along and find them, ruining everything. Here it was just her and Ben, with the faint taste of wine lingering between them. It was the best feeling in the world. How had they survived before?

When Ben pulled away his hand moved to her face, so the butterflies in her stomach lingered. Narcissa shut her eyes contentedly at the light touch, her head dropping down to rest against the blanket. Any form of contact with Ben was never a bad thing. The sound of Ben's voice was like a lullaby too. The most comforting sound in the world. Until he mentioned England. She hadn't been thinking about that when she had brought up never leaving. It had been more about never leaving the moment. Never leaving France, well that was different.That wasn't a choice. It was her fault and it was a topic she wasn't a fan of. Not wanting to ruin the moment, Narcissa didn't reply straight away. Instead she moved even closer to Ben and buried her head against his chest. It wasn't something she did often, being the one to initiate a move like that, but it felt right. 

Narcissa took a few more moments to breath in Ben's familiar scent before she finally replied. "Yeah," she murmured into his shirt, "There's lots to love about France." It was true as well. France was their place. It was ridiculous for her to get caught up in things she couldn't change now.  "I could do without the Quidditch though," Narcissa continued, laughing and rolling back onto her back so she could breathe properly. "And speaking of wine, I'm getting thirsty." Narcissa jabbed Ben lightly in the stomach, just in case he didn't get her point. 

[mckinnonbenjamin]

Lovesick, Lovestruck || Narcissa & Ben || France

Image wasn’t necessarily something that was very important to Ben. He hadn’t spared much attention to how he looked to other people, and that was shown throughout his life. But there must have been something strange in the air, because suddenly, Ben was worried that Narcissa would think he was weak or something. She shouldn’t of course. After all, he’d demonstrated time and time again that he had muscles. He could lift her over over his head easily enough and that was good enough for him. But despite this, here he was struggling with a measly bottle of wine. For the life of him, he could not get the cork out. He kept sending furtive glances in Narcissa’s direction, making sure she focusing on laying out blankets rather than him. Frustrated, he slammed the heel of his palm against the opening and then nearly fell over when it sent the cork flying. Ben managed to stop the wine from spilling and gave Narcissa an innocent smile when she sent a quizzical look in his direction. Setting the wine down, he crawled across the blankets to his fiancee.

Reaching for her hand, Ben brought it to his lips, a goofy smile present on his face as he pressed delicate kisses to each of her knuckles. He reached out behind him with one arm, his fingers wrapping around the bottle of wine. He brought it forward and then to his lips, tilting his head back so the liquid could flow down his throat. After a few sips, he pulled the bottle away. He licked his lips, which were now wet and sticky from the wine. With a smile, Ben handed the bottle to Narcissa, and then laid down onto the blankets, looking up at the dark sky above. He tried to make out constellations. After all, out in the French countryside, the stars were clear and visible.

But Ben had never paid attention in Astronomy, back when he was in school so he was at a loss whenever it came to making picture with the stars. But even if he didn’t know the names of any of the balls of gas, it didn’t mean he couldn’t marvel their beauty. He stared for a minute or so before looking over at Narcissa, his eyes seemingly drawn to her. Reaching over, he placed a gentle hand on her leg, a corner of his mouth twisting up into a half smile, “You wanna lay down with me?”

[mckinnonnarcissa]

It was hard to imagine a more romantic setting. If you had asked Narcissa years ago, she might have described something similar. Actually being in that situation though was incredible. France. Under the stars in the summertime. With the boy she loved. It was like a dream. Smiling happily, Narcissa set to work spreading out their blankets across the grass. She had just gotten everything in order when there was a thud. Narcissa turned around to see what mess Ben has made this time, but surprisingly there was nothing. Just Ben. Her Ben crawling towards her. Narcissa tried to stifle a giggle as he kissed her hand. There was nothing she loved more than his attempts at being romantic. Somehow they always managed to be the sweetest and the goofiest thing.

She waited patiently for Ben to pass her the bottle, enjoying the peace and quiet of the countryside. When he finally handed it over Narcissa sniffed the wine before she took a sip. It never stopped her from drinking it, but it always seemed like the right thing to do. She found herself staring out, lost in thought and taking lazy sips from the bottle, until Ben reached out for her again. Narcissa looked down at him, returning his smile. "I'll lie down," she said still grinning, "Just not with you." Despite her words though, she placed the bottle down and gently lowered herself down until she was on her back. Narcissa wriggled her body along the blanket until she was next to Ben, the edges of their bodies just touching.

Narcissa could feel Ben breathing next to her, the slight rise and fall of his chest a pleasant reminder he was still there. Although sometimes she hated herself for it, Narcissa found she need that constant reassurance. Instead of watching the stars Narcissa tilted her head so she could watch her fiancée.It still gave Narcissa butterflies when she got to call Ben that, even if it was just in her head. "Can we never leave?" she whispered, gazing at Ben. "Let's just stay right here."

[mckinnonnarcissa]

Pages Between Us || Narcissa & Ben || Hogwarts

[mckinnonbenjamin]

Ben almost believed her. He almost believed her, because she was a damn good liar. The tone of her voice and the words that she used seemed to give the idea that she really thought that the kiss they shared meant nothing. That she really thought that there was no us. No them. Ben almost believed that. But when he looked over at her and saw the way that she stared at her hair, or the way that her nails dug into her palm, he knew that more than anything, she was trying to convince herself of what she was saying. Or, he sincerely hoped she was. Because if she was trying to convince herself, then he still had some sort of chance. Inhaling deeply, Ben reveled in the fact that his head felt clear for the first time in a few weeks. It was as if Narcissa was oxygen and he was dying to breathe. His sneaked another look in her direction before looking back out over the Pitch. 

The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial moment between any two people. It changes the relationship more strongly than any other moment. Ben knew that from this moment on, they were no longer friends. How could they be friends? While Ben would be fine to continue on like before, he knew that it would grate on Cissa to know that he still had feelings for her, and that she may or may not feel something for him in return. How could they resume that easy camaraderie that they had shared for years? Ben didn’t think they could. He tried to imagine everyday life without Narcissa to talk to. What would she do on Saturday, whenever Ben, Tobias and the other lads gathered under their favorite tree? Would she find some Slytherin friends to talk to? Would she still sit with them and just ignore Ben?

What about homework? Surely she wouldn’t ask Ben to copy anymore, and they both knew that Betty didn’t care much for Narcissa. At least, not as much as she did for Ben. And what about Theodore? He was best friends with the both of them. How would he react to being friends with the both of them whenever they wanted nothing to do with each other? Gritting his teeth, Ben refused to answer any of the questions that he’d just asked himself. Twisting his body to look at Cissa once again, he leaned forward and put his hand over hers, In a split second, he marveled at the softness of her skin, and longed to hold her hand, to feel her fingers interwoven through his. It was just another reminder of how hopelessly into her he was. Taking a deep breath, he met her eyes. “Narcissa, I’m not gonna just forget you. No matter how much you wish that I would. And I- I get that you’re confused. But I know that you felt something whenever you kissed me. Because- Because I felt something. And that’s how kissing works, right? You both feel something? You must have felt something.” He stopped talking, because he didn’t really know what to say that would get his point across. Licking his lips once more, he swallowed. He was going to kiss her. And he was going to regret it. But at that moment in time, he couldn’t bring himself to care. So he leaned forward, and he brushed a strand of hair out of her face and he kissed her on the cheek. 

Pulling away, he pushed himself to his feet, miraculously managing to not cry out in pain. He brushed his hands and then looked at Narcissa, “Malfoy is never going to be good enough for you. And it might make you mad that I’m saying that, but it’s true. There’s a reason that you kissed me, so just- just think about that, okay?” He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck before looking back to the castle. The sun was starting to set, and he supposed that he should find Ella so she could heal up whatever else was wrong with him. Taking a step forward, Ben looked over his shoulder, casting a glance at the girl he’d left sitting on the bench, “I’ll, erm, see you around. Bye.”

[mckinnonnarcissa]

His hand on hers, Ben was pouring out his soul and she still hadn't said anything. Ben was speaking words that tore at her heart, and the best response Narcissa could come up with was to blink. She wanted to scream that he was wrong. She wanted to break down and admit that he was right, that she was currently feeling more than she ever thought possible. Instead she just sat there. For a brief second Narcissa thought, hoped actually, that he was going to kiss her on the lips again. That way she could feel all of the sparks and the joy, and still tell herself that she was strong. But he didn't. Narcissa stood, her whole body stiff as a board, as Ben leaned over and kissed her cheek. Everything about it send sparks flying against her skin. Maybe enough to stop her heart, because she found she still couldn't move. Narcissa just watched spellbound as Ben spoke. And then as he left.

It was what she wanted, right? He had made his speech and now he was leaving her alone. And Narcissa had never felt more alone. She watched as Ben strode across the pitch. His words bounced around her head, slamming into her brain and making it hard to think. Ben was long gone by the time she finally gave into the cold and decided to make her way back inside. Every step she took away from the spot where they had just been felt like a step away from that possibility. She just had to stay away from Ben at all times and soon enough she would forget all about him. Simple. 

[mckinnonnarcissa]

Pages Between Us || Narcissa & Ben || Hogwarts

[mckinnonbenjamin]

Ben tried to focus on anything but Narcissa. He was so sure that she was going to be angry at him for what he’d said concerning Malfoy. After all, Narcissa never was one that could handle any sort of criticism, no matter how indirect it may be. Ben thought back to earlier in the year. The day that he brought her ice cream and they’d sat against the wall of the corridor to eat it. In typical Narcissa fashion, she mistook Ben’s odd behavior as a definite sign that he fancied her. At the time, that was the farthest thing from the truth. He’d laughed at the mere thought and Narcissa was so angry, they ended up not talking for a week. That was the sort of reaction he expected from her right about now. However, the reaction that he did get was the last thing he’d ever would have anticipated.

When Narcissa placed her hand upon Ben’s shoulder, he immediately tensed. For one, her touching him meant that she wasn’t going to storm away in a huff as per usual. And two, there was a gentleness in the gesture that he’d not yet experienced with Narcissa. Whether by instinct or just some deluded hope, he knew that this touch was different. Like a puppet obeying its master, Ben turned to face Narcissa, his eyes wide. Was she leaning in? Were his eyes deceiving him? His heart began racing as fast as his mind and he was sure that his palms were sweaty. When their faces were a mere centimeter apart, his eyes closed. And then she kissed him.

This wasn’t any ordinary kiss. Not any brush of lips. This was a kiss that scalded Ben. He savored those few seconds, pouring his heart into Narcissa. When they parted, Ben was astonished. Ben had never been more blown away in his entire life. Narcissa’s cheeks were flushed and her blonde hair was tousled. She was so beautiful that it made his soul ache. He wished that he could take a picture and capture that look in her eyes. There was a softness in her eyes that he’d never seen. Ben had heard people say that they lost themselves in a kiss. He would disagree. Because in that moment, he found himself. Not who he wished he was, or who he was afraid of coming, but who he really was. And he was sure that Narcissa felt the same.

"That was a mistake." Ben did not respond immediately, for it took him a moment or two to digest the words of Narcissa. He licked his lips. They tasted of blood and something sweet. He looked down at his trousers and then up at the cloudy sky and finally at Narcissa. He didn’t dare reach out and touch her. It was obvious by the distance she had put between them that she didn’t want any physical contact with him. He gazed at her before shaking his head, “I don’t think it was. Cissa- this- us- we’re not a mistake.”

[mckinnonnarcissa]

Narcissa had always thought of herself as an intelligent person. Maybe not everyone else did, but that didn’t bother her. It was preferable actually. If people didn’t think too highly of her magical abilities they were normally more willing to help her, and less likely to see her as a threat. She got to live her life, quietly happy that even if she wasn’t quite the smartest Black, she was still a Black and smarter than most of the brainless so called witches and wizards at Hogwarts. Which was why she felt extra stupid. Only lovestruck idiots stared in wonder, but Narcissa was pretty certain that’s what she was doing. It was certainly a new kind of staring for Narcissa. Similar to how she looked at Lucius but on a grander scale.

Narcissa found herself watching every single motion of Ben’s, as if they held some great secret. When he licked his lips, all she could think about was kissing them again. Kissing them until her lips were bleeding too from kissing so much. It was a relief when he looked away. She could continue her study of him without worrying about him noticing. The way his hair moved as his head did. His jaw line when he was facing away from her. In order to stop herself from moving closer, again, Narcissa dug her nails hard into the palms of her hand. It wasn’t any easier when he spoke again.

All she could think about was the way he said us. It was such a simple word but there was so much meaning behind. In a mirror movement to Ben’s, Narcissa shook her head sadly. “There’s not an us Ben,” she said, finally looking away to inspect the ends of her hair closely. And it was true she told herself. Her us was her family. Her sisters. Sisters who would be disgusted at the very fact she was friends with Ben, never mind her kissing him. She unclenched her fist and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her hair before forcing herself to stand up. “There’s you and there’s me and to me this was a mistake.” She was looking back at Ben now, a final look, because how was their friendship supposed to recover from this. Narcissa needed to get back to Bella and Andy and just forget about the blonde half blood sitting in front of her. “Just forget I was here,” she added in a whisper. “It’s for the best.”

[neighboursandwives]

[mckinnonnarcissa]

Pages Between Us || Narcissa & Ben || Hogwarts

[mckinnonbenjamin]

Ben knew he was making her uncomfortable. With a swallow, he guiltily looked down and wiped the blood from his left hand onto his trousers. He was very gentle as he did this, rubbing it onto a section of his leg that wasn’t beginning to bruise. His right arm was still stinging and therefore could not be cleaned of any blood that may be on him. He wasn’t sure if Narcissa knew about anything that could make the effects of a Stinging Hex dissipate. He didn’t ask. Ella would know, he was sure. That would be his next stop. Ben’s intentions were not to make Narcissa feel squeamish or nervous. He couldn’t control how he looked at her but even if he did know how to look at her like he used to, he wouldn’t. His comment had probably been a little unnecessary. It had obviously set Cissa on edge, having him subtly reference Lucius. He could hear her intake of breath as she readied herself to speak. Whatever it was, Ben was sure that he wouldn’t like whatever she was saying. He looked up at her, just in time for her talk.

Ben was anything if not persistent. Throughout the past few months, Cissa had told him over and over and over again that there was no chance of things happening between the two of them. It wasn’t as if Ben was being pushy or anything. He wasn’t constantly trying to kiss her and he hadn’t made any big declaration of feelings since she first found out that he fancied her. But he expressed his feelings towards Narcissa in a way that he couldn’t control. It was displayed in the way that he looked at her, with so such tenderness and car that Cissa couldn’t handle it. Or how he made his jokes the tiniest bit more funny in an effort to hear her laugh. It was the little things that Cissa didn’t like, and because of this, he was used to hearing her deny a chance of them ever happening on a weekly basis.

But hearing it this time, after he’d fought in her honor, well, that stung. It wasn’t necessarily the words she used that hurt him. "It’s not like that, Ben. I just came down to tell you not to fight my fiancée again." No, it was the tone that she said them with. She sounded so harsh and Ben would be lying through his teeth if he were to say that it didn’t hurt. But despite her sharp expression, she still sat down next to him. He looked away from her, focusing on the colors of the Gryffindor banners. He was acutely aware that she say far enough away that they didn’t touch. When she started speaking, her words stunned him. His cheeks flushed in embarrassment. He didn’t know if she meant to sound so condescending and well, full of herself. But she did. Turning to face her, he furrowed his eyebrows, “You really think I got into it with Malfoy because I hoped it would make you like me?” He laughed bitterly, “If I thought that would work, I would’ve done something a long time ago.” He shifted, turning his body to face her. His shoulder stung in protest but he didn’t care. “I need you to listen to me.” He murmured, his eyes searching hers. “I confronted Malfoy because I am so tired of watching him take advantage of you and then you just ignoring it. He cheated on you, Narcissa. Multiple times.” Frustrated, he looked away from her again, looking back out over the Pitch.

[mckinnonnarcissa]

It was something about the way he looked at her. Of course she had noticed it before, it was the reason she felt so uncomfortable , but this was the first time she really saw it. Really understood. His words didn’t even matter, although she was beginning to realise they were probably true. What mattered was that look. It seemed to wrap all this loving emotions into one little piercing stare that rammed straight into her soul. It was caring and protective. Familiar and yet not. It was genuine and real and how had she never noticed it before? It really was a look of love. Narcissa’s breath hitched in the back of her throat. If she wasn’t such a lady, she would probably be swearing right about now. How was she supposed to react.

Ben turned away, so she could only see the battered side of his face. For the second time today, her body seemed to act without her permission. Gently, very aware of the bruises that were probably forming, she placed her hand on his shoulder. Narcissa applied the least amount of pressure possible as she spun his body round. Then, as soon as she could, Narcissa leaned in and placed her lips against Bens. It should have been awful. He was covered in blood and looked as if he was about to break in two. She was queasy and her toes were numb and up until a minute ago she had been sure this was the last thing she wanted. The only thing she could taste was blood was Ben’s lips and the only background music they had was the squawks from the Forbidden Forest. Yet somehow the only thing Narcissa could feel was fireworks. It was like her lips were on fire, threatening to burn her from the outside in. Her lips moved against for a few seconds longer, savouring the new sensation. His cracked lips were worlds away from Lucius’s smooth ones. With that thought, Narcissa jolted back, sliding along the bench until Ben was well out of reach. “I…” She started, still staring at Ben intently. “That was a mistake.”

[mckinnonnarcissa]

Pages Between Us || Narcissa & Ben || Hogwarts

[mckinnonbenjamin]

If his face wasn’t hurting so bad, Ben would find the expression on Narcissa’s face to be quite funny. She’d never been one for blood, and he knew that the sight of his bruised face would surely be unpleasant for her. She seemed to struggle with the idea of coming towards him. That much was made obvious by the tiny little step that she took back. She had to have heard about the fight between Lucius and Ben. Why else would she be at the Quidditch Pitch? She never came of her own free will. In fact, she usually had to be dragged along by the hand. He licked his lips and tasted blood. Cringing at the taste, Ben wondered why Narcissa was even here. After all, Lucius had been involved in the fight. Sure, Ben hadn’t exactly hurt him or anything, but shouldn’t she be with him to show that she cared? And that she wanted to make sure he was okay. That’s what Ben would expect his girlfriend to do if he had one, and Lucius most likely expected the same.

But Narcissa wasn’t with Lucius. She was here. On the Quidditch pitch. With Ben. He tried to ignore how big of a deal that was. Maybe she was just trying to be a good friend? He didn’t dare get his hopes up. After all, she’d rejected him countless times before, so why would she have changed her mind? No, she probably just wanted to make sure he was alright and then go see Lucius. And he supposed that he wasalright. He was bleeding and in a lot of pain, but he wasn’t dead or anything. He wouldn’t blame her if she went back to Lucius.

And for a second, Ben thought she really was going to turn around and go back to Malfoy. But then she was walking towards him, and before he knew it, she was standing in front of him. His breath caught in his chest as he marveled the way frosty wind blew tendrils of her hair around her face. He ignored her dig at Tobias, and in his head, grudgingly admitted that Tobias had been little to no help whenever it came to healing. But then again, since when did Narcissa learn anything about healing either. It was a skill he’d never known that she’d had. And she definitely had plenty of opportunities to show it too, what with Ben’s various Quidditch injuries that he had sustained throughout the years.

As he opened his mouth to question whether or not she could actually do this, she lifted her arm, causing him to go quiet. He complied with her instructions, remaining very still. When she cast the spell, he gasped, not used to the sensation of hot and cold. Reaching up with his left arm, he tapped at his nose. It was still sticky with drying blood, but it definitely wasn’t broken anymore. With a thankful smile, Ben gazed at Narcissa, “I- Uhm-” he struggle to find words. After a second, he settled with a simple word of thanks, “Thank you for, uh, healing me. It means a lot that you’re here instead of…” His voice trailed off, but it was definitely obvious where he meant.

[mckinnonnarcissa]

Narcissa took Ben's exclamation as proof the spell had worked. At the very least it wasn't a scream of pain, so it couldn't have done too much damage. It would have been hard to make things worse anyway. There was still too much blood on his face to tell if it had really made a difference. Narcissa's nose wrinkled in disgust as Ben reached up and inspected her handiwork, managing to stick his finger in the blood. When he smiled up at her, that smile of his that normally managed to cheer Narcissa up no matter what, she didn't feel any relief. It wasn't his smile. It was the look in his eyes, a look that had become uncomfortably common ever since his great revelation. It was too intense. Too personal for what had been an easy friendship. A tiny part of her didn't mind, after all she was a Black and who wouldn't want her, but mostly she found herself feeling unsure of herself. Like now.

Then the idiot had to bring up Lucius. Not directly. Ben never said his name. But Narcissa knew exactly what he meant. Suddenly her being there, with Ben, felt so wrong. He was getting the wrong idea. Everyone would get the wrong idea. She was just trying to be a good friend and it was backfiring. If only she had managed to force herself back to the Slytherin common room, where she was meant to be. Realising her wand was still pointed at Ben, Narcissa lowered it and focused all of her attention on making sure it was securely stowed back in her robes. The task was a tiny distraction but too soon she found herself looking back at Ben.

"It's not like that Ben," she said, the words sounding harsh even to herself. It was probably for the best though. The whole situation had gotten so far out of control and someone needed to restore order. "I just came down to tell you not to fight my fiancee again." Even though she knew it was wrong, Narcissa couldn't help but feel bad. She didn't want to lose Ben completely. It was probably the threat of having to sit next to someone awful in class but the idea of not being friends with Ben was unimaginable. Narcissa found herself stepping up on the bleachers and settling in alongside Ben. She made sure to leave a distance between them, just enough so there was no chance of them accidentally rubbing elbows. A sigh fell from her lips as she spoke again, "I just... I know how you think you feel Ben. I just don't know what you were thinking."  Narcissa bit down on her the inside of her cheek, debating whether she wanted to continue but eventually she decided she needed an answer. "Why would you want to fight Lucius? Even if you had won, it wouldn't have changed anything."

[mckinnonnarcissa]

Pages Between Us || Narcissa & Ben || Hogwarts

[mckinnonbenjamin]

Ben’s entire body ached. His shoulder was burning from the stinging hex Malfoy had sent his way. His bottom lip was sliced as well, from a cutting hex as well. And he was almost sure that his nose was broken. Malfoy hadn’t bothered with magic for that one. He had just drawn his fist back and sent Ben sprawling to the ground. Who knew that Malfoy knew how to fight without magic? Everyone knew that he was a master with a wand but Ben had never expected him to be so good with just his fists. He should’ve expected it. After all, Malfoy had been trained to fight and probably to kill since he started to toddle.

The entire school must think that he was an idiot. And maybe Ben was an idiot. After all, he went into this fight knowing he would lose, yet he did it anyway. The newest gossip around the school was that Lucius had cheated on Narcissa yet again. And it was pretty solid evidence as well. It was the last straw for Ben. He was tired of sitting by, watching Narcissa make doe eyes at Lucius, when he so obviously didn’t have the same feelings for her, despite the fact that they were engaged.

It wasn’t fair. Lucius had Narcissa, and he took her for granted. He didn’t even realize how much Ben would love to be in his position.The fact that Lucius treated his engagement with Narcissa so callously was something that Ben would never understand. He didn’t know whether or not Narcissa had heard about Lucius yet, but even if she had she would probably stay in denial, just like she had been when it was Ella and so on. But whether or not Narcissa believed it, Ben did. And he didn’t plan on letting it go without punishment. That was why Ben publicly challenged Lucius to a fight.

Lucius had easily won, with Ben only managing to get in a few minor hexes that had caused minimal damage. With Ben curled up on the ground, Malfoy and his cronies sauntered away, talking loudly of their victory. For a minute or so, Ben struggled to get up. His legs buckled and his arms were stinging badly. But eventually, he did get up. And by some sort of miracle, he was able to make it down to the Pitch. It was his favorite place in the school, not to mention, it was empty. With a relieved such, he managed to get to the lowest row of bleachers, in the Ravenclaw section. He dropped down, closing his eyes in relief.

Ben supposed that it probably hadn’t taken long for the news of his defeat to spread around school, because the next thing he knew, Tobias was all but sprinting to the Pitch. His curly haired friend was next to him in seconds, words of worry spilling from his lips. Tobias tried to remember some healing spells, but they had never been his strong spot, so he ended up trying to convince Ben to go to the Hospital Wing. Ben ignored him, preferring to just wallow in his injuries. Tobias continued to ramble on, but Ben hardly listened. Whenever Tobias’s string of words halted, Ben looked up, following his friends eyes across the Pitch. It was Narcissa. She was heading this way. His pulse quickened and he straightened up. Was she coming to see him? He hardly let himself believe it. To his right, Tobias sighed and stood up, obviously getting the idea that Ben and Narcissa needed some time alone. He didn’t like it, which was why he gave her the meanest look he could muster as he passed.

With Tobias gone, Cissa must’ve felt comfortable speaking. Or maybe she wasn’t. After all, she wasn’t looking at him. Wiping at the blood still dripping from his nose, Ben nodded, “Yeah, it is.”

[mckinnonnarcissa]

Ben’s words of agreement prompted Narcissa to finally look up from her dedicated study of her feet and peek at him. She immediately wished she hadn’t. The sight of Ben’s face almost made her want to vomit, a thing she hadn’t done in years. Unable to help herself, she recoiled and took a couple of steps back as if the distance would help. It didn’t. Narcissa couldn’t look away though, as blood fell from Ben’s probably broken nose and hit the ground in front of him. On top of the nose, his face was just generally a mess. It certainly wasn’t the work of a spell. It looked like Lucius had simply beaten up Ben with his hands. The thought made Narcissa swallow hard, trying to push down the lump in her throat. Lucius would have had his reasons. Of course he would have. She should be with Lucius, not Ben.If she left now, then she could be back in the Slytherin common in no time.

Narcissa couldn’t just Ben with his face like that though. Not surprisingly Tobias obviously hadn’t been able to help. Narcissa gingerly made her way closer to Ben until she was standing right in front of him. More than anything she wanted to look away again. The whole situation was far too uncomfortable for Narcissa’s liking. She couldn’t heal his face by just randomly waving her wand though, so Narcissa kept her eyes locked on his face and focused on not hurling her guts out. She reached her hand into the pocket of her robes and extracted her wand. Cissa let her hand swing loosely by her side as she tried to decide what she could do to actually help.

"Ben. I can maybe try to fix your nose," Narcissa said, gripping her wand tightly. "Apparently Tobias wasn’t any use." She tried to smile weakly, hoping it might make the situation less awkward. It just felt silly though, so she quickly rearranged her face back into a more blank expression. If she could just fix his face, then Narcissa would leave. Straight away. She just needed to be a good friend first, that was all. Narcissa raised her hand so her wand was pointed directly at Ben."Just don’t move okay. I don’t want to make things worse." Silently hoping that she didn’t do just that Narcissa uttered the spell as confidently as she could,"Episkey."

[mckinnonnarcissa]

Pages Between Us || Narcissa & Ben || Hogwarts

There was definitely something going on. The corridors of Hogwarts were always busy, generally too busy for Narcissa's liking, but today it seemed worse than usual. She could feel people staring at her too. Their eyes seemed to follow her as she made her way back to the common room. Judging her. Narcissa flicked a strand of blonde hair over her shoulder as she wound her way through the hordes of students. She had just decided to completely ignore them all, when she heard snatches of the whispering. 

"Lucius Malfoy." 

Unable to help her self, Narcissa paused. It wasn't exactly unusual for people be talking about Lucius. He was a large presence in the school after all. Everyone knew her fiancee. Just like they should. Narcissa had just reassured herself that that's all it would be and had started to move away when she heard another name, whispered by the same group of students.

"Ben Mckinnon."

It wasn't just her body that stopped that time. It was her heart too. It couldn't be a coincidence.  Unless it was the biggest cosmic joke in the world. Unable to help herself, Narcissa spun around to face the giggling children. She folded her arms tightly across her chest and stared them down. "What are you talking about?" she asked, making eye contact with the one who seemed like the leader. He shuffled his feet and looked around nervously before replying in rush, "Um... Er...Well Ben Mckinnon tried to fight Lucius Malfoy and... Um Ben lost pretty badly."

Narcissa's face pulled into a frown. Her heart wasn't still now. It was racing, along with her head. She didn't even know how to begin processing what the other student had just told her. Why was Ben trying to fight Lucius? He had lost? Badly?  Narcissa didn't bother to thank the boy, instead choosing to just simply turn around and continue her way back towards the common room. Lucius needed her after all, if he had just been in a fight. With every step she took though, Narcissa could feel bile rising in her stomach. For some reason it felt so wrong to be going this way. Then somehow, before she really knew what she was doing, Narcissa had turned around. It was like an out of body experience, as her feet carried her away from the common room as fast as they could without causing a scene and running. It seemed like no time had passed when suddenly Narcissa found herself standing on the edge of the Quidditch pitch. She could just make out a figure on the far side of the pitch. Slowly now, Narcissa made her way across. She came to a halt in front of her friend and immediately looked down at her feet. She never really felt awkward around Ben, that was one of the great things about their friendship, but at that particular moment she found herself tongue-tied. "Hey," she said eventually, the word aimed directly at her feet instead of Ben. She hugged her arms tighter against her body, "So it's pretty cold out here."

[leeeyuck]

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People like us, we don’t need that much. Just someone that starts the spark in our bonfire hearts.

[mckinnonnarcissa]

Big Girls Don't Cry

Based on the prompt -  Expecting: Our characters find out they are expecting a child together

As Narcissa hurled the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl, she was positive this wasn’t how you were meant to feel. You were meant to be filled with happiness. Excitement. A slight nervousness maybe, but overall Narcissa had always imagined when she first found out she was pregnant that she would feel overjoyed.

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[mckinnonnarcissa]

Sugar We're Going Down Swinging

Based on the prompt - Bleed: My character will injure your character

“I’ll go do it right now then,” Narcissa told her sister more confidently than she felt. She didn’t actually want to go.

Bella had her arms folded. Her facial expression didn’t waver as she called Narcissa’s bluff, “I want witnesses. For proof.”

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[mckinnonnarcissa]

Good For The Soul

Based on the prompt - Heal: My character will tend to your character’s wounds, or be at their side when they’re sick. 

Ben was lying on their bed, moaning like he was dying of some exotic disease. Which he wasn’t. At all. If anyone had a right to be moaning it was Narcissa. She was the one who had been up all night with Lyra, while Ben swore up and down that he just couldn’t get up. He was far too sick.

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