IN THE WOODS...

i am tired of explaining the fire, it burns because it must.

[mcmorare]

hey!! i’m quinn (they/she, 20+, cst) and this is an indie, semi-selective, multi-verse rp account for my marvel OC, Katrina! (est. march 2021 & revamped september 2022, previously found at fullofmemories.) i hope you enjoy my blog and have a wonderful day/night!

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blogs: @mcmorare (main, marvel oc)  |  @knowstruth​ (sideblog, multimuse)

[notmorbid]

the down days [1/2].

dialogue prompts from the down days by ilze hugo.

who doesn't like a good label to help them sleep at night?

today wasn't a wise day to get out of bed and face the world.

grief isn't rational. it can't be argued with.

i get it. wanting to believe in something.

i'll do better next time.

i don't know. sounds a bit out there to me.

nature is cruel. don't know why people always feel the need to blame someone.

who knows what the truth really is?

i don't trust the system one bit. not anymore.

breathe. don't laugh.

it's here somewhere. it has to be.

you're too young to have a heart attack.

if you tell the truth, everything will turn out just fine.

your parents. where are they?

you don't have to be afraid of me. i'm trying to help.

i feel for you. these are dark days, for sure.

want to make some easy money?

just stay a few minutes longer. please.

this is the longest we've been apart. ever.

i read somewhere that the best way to lie is by telling half-truths.

crowds make me claustrophobic.

i'm trying to be strong. i really am.

you haven't told me your name.

i just stood there. i didn't even blink.

a good posture in life is half the battle won.

the apocalypse is not a place for prudes. you have to adapt or die.

only rich people can afford to live by the rules.

i don't really believe in that stuff, but i like to keep an open mind.

the world is stranger than people want to admit.

there's a solution for everything. if you can't find it, adjust your angle.

i can't even remember who i was before all this.

how can everything feel so wrong and so right at the same time?

there's no point in trying to convince people of something, if they've made their minds up.

grief affects us all in different ways, i suppose.

don't i know you?

you held my hand. you told me everything was gonna be okay.

you said it would take time, but that i would heal.

it's not gonna be okay, is it? you lied to me.

what if there was something to all those crazy stories?

sorry. i've been told i talk too much when i'm nervous.

there's no such thing as charity. not really.

not everyone wants to live to be a hundred, you know.

i've got a hangup with head doctors.

i certainly never expected to see you again.

you say 'relationship' like it's a swear word.

what kind of person breaks up via post-it note?

i missed talking to you about this stuff.

don't look at me with those eyes.

you had your chance. you screwed it up.

it's not like i have anything more to lose.

you don't have to believe me. just hear me out before you run away.

how do i know you're the real deal? that you're not making this up just to screw with me?

i'm not much of a fan for second chances.

you're going to need to trust me a little.

something happened. it made me real angry for a while.

i guess i wanted to do something where i wouldn't have to think too much, for a while.

i'm here. i'm sitting right here, and i'm not going anywhere. do you believe me?

i can't help if i don't understand. you get that, right?

just because you're dead doesn't mean you don't exist. right?

the only way to keep walking, keep breathing, is to find something to hold onto.

you seem to care. you seem to want to help.

you give your all. always.

[oddsfavorcd]

he laughs a little, imagining her taking on all of the capitol. she would, if she could. and he knows katrina well enough to know she'd get a damned sight further than most people.

“i know,” he says, ruffling her hair. he can feel the tears climbing in his throat, and he coughs slightly, tries to force them down. he doesn't want to cry in front of her, not now. she's already having a hard enough time with all of it; she doesn't need to worry about how he's doing.

he doesn't let go, though. he'll stay in this hug as long as she needs him. shit, he'll stay in this hug all the way until he walks into the arena, if that's what it takes.

“is there anything you want to do?” he offers. “you know, before...?”

[mcmorare]

He ruffles her hair and it's something so simple and everyday that it only makes the tears flood her eyes faster. Breaths come out filled with tremors, muffled against his shirt. Anything. She would do anything she could to stop this all right now, march up to the Capitol and take everyone on herself, let Salvius cart her around for a million interviews, let the whole damn country fall apart for all she cares. Her brother has been handed a death sentence.

Before. Before he goes in. Before he leaves. Possibly for good. Are there any things she wants to do before? The question pulls a short, quiet sob from deep in her chest. Suddenly it seems there are a million things left to be done and not enough time for any of them. All the breakfasts at his house, evenings sitting on the porch with him, Johanna, and Gordon, moments rolling their eyes at Salvius that will never get to happen again. He'll never get to see her niece grow up.

"I don't know," she says, somewhere between a whimper and a breath. Even with her arms around him, she already misses him. "I... Can you think of anything?"

[mcmorare]

@survivuers (blight) sent: what was your mom like?

The warmth of lamps inside the house spills golden yellow in long stretches across the back porch - where they currently sit, mentor and victor side by side on the wooden steps. The slightest chill sharpening the air. It's one of those rare moments where the Capitol feels distant, not looming, no buzzing of escort or stylist preparations or upcoming train rides or still-undone unpacking. Just their village among the trees. Leaves and earth and sky.

At first, Katrina's answer is a little dissatisfied hum, toe of one shoe rolling a twig back and forth on the ground. Trying to parse through and find something coherent to say. "Strict." Eyes stay on that little twig. "Boring. Unhappy." Not a good combination. "We never got along."

[mcmorare]

HELLO hello i feel like i keep popping up after a bit to apologize for not being active i have simply been very busy lately with the semester starting back up and social things happening and luckily it has been a good busy but my time and bandwidth have been quite taken up as of late which means i have not had as much writing time! i might not be as active atm but i Will try to write when i can i love and miss u all and hope you're all doing well!!

[notmorbid]

the lost shtetl.

dialogue prompts from the lost shtetl by max gross.

we were wrong for each other, right from the beginning.

i just can't stand to look at ____ anymore.

try to control yourself.

keeping a good house is nothing to sneeze at.

it was all a trick, wasn't it?

what are you doing out of bed?

people talk. it's only natural to overhear.

get the hell out of here, and don't come back.

have you ever been to the circus before?

most liars have short memories.

any time, night or day, is fine to call.

who still watches videos?

even celebrity has its limits.

i'm fine. please leave me alone.

i'm afraid that once the tears start, they'll never stop.

i'm not sure we're allowed to do that.

that sounds like a shitty plan.

you can stay with me for tonight. i've got a sofa that pulls out.

nobody can tell you what to do or what to think.

i grew up in a place like this.

it's very nice, of course, but it's not home.

there's no real hurry, is there?

they're just stories. nobody in them is real.

what do you talk about with _____?

i will never complain again about living in a backwater.

everybody wants to know how you are.

it was very good of you to check up on me.

why don't you come inside?

you can't talk to me that way.

you won't mention my name, right?

if i sleep on it, i'll talk myself out of it.

i was fool enough to think death would be preferable.

how was it? did it match your hopes and dreams?

the men of the world are out for themselves.

modesty isn't everything.

if you said i traded one nightmare for another, you wouldn't be too far off the mark.

i should have left a note.

don't you feel sorry for me. not for a second. i've made my choices, and i'm happy enough with them.

there's a demon of pride in every man.

the heart is tethered to a different set of rules than any other part of the anatomy.

that was your first time, wasn't it?

don't get too comfortable.

desperate times call for desperate measures.

you needn't fear.

no one is going to harm you.

i don't want your money.

if you come back here, you'll regret it.

you shouldn't believe everything everybody tells you.

i don't need any help from you.

you can kiss my you-know-what.

don't you ever shut up?

[notmorbid]

burden of truth: season 4 [2/2].

dialogue prompts from season four of burden of truth.

what was your mom like?

i couldn't do it. i didn't give up.

you're not yourself. i worry about you.

was that supposed to make me feel better?

this could be a really nice place.

it's okay to be nervous.

i need you. we're a team.

no one was supposed to get hurt.

give me the bat.

at least i'm honest about who i work for and what i do.

what you do in this world is who you are.

is it cool if we don't really talk about that right now?

what kind of trouble you in?

i can find somewhere else to stay.

i really hope it's okay that i came.

i said something i shouldn't have.

i'm so sorry i left the way i did.

no one's talked to me like i'm a person in a while. i guess it kind of freaked me out.

you've been so good to me.

the sound travels in this place. i just wish you had told me.

no one noticed i was gone.

i feel like enough of a failure on my own.

apology pizza.

you did your best. and you played by the rules.

the law isn't very good at protecting people. it's better at compensating them once the damage is already done.

you bottle things up. it's not good for you, and it's not good for us.

every time i leave, i just get dragged back.

nobody does anything selflessly. i should know.

i don't even know if i'm allowed to want anything for myself anymore.

to think i looked up to you.

you have no idea what _____ is capable of.

who taught you that? that being scared is a bad thing?

i don't want to spend another night apart from you for the rest of our lives.

i know it doesn't feel like it, but i'm here with you.

oh, i don't trust you. i'm scared of you.

don't wake the baby.

you can come back from this. you're the toughest person i've ever met.

you can't waste time looking back on the past. trust me.

the world can be a scary place. people can be awful to each other.

pretending this isn't real won't make it go away.

i'm tired of waiting on justice to show up.

do your worst. i got nothing to lose.

why are you willing to fight for everyone but yourself?

how do you prove that something doesn't exist?

i'm sure you're disappointed, but i'm not dead yet.

it's more dramatic in the movies, but it's still sweet.

i know it feels like everything right now. trust me, i know that.

i was just trying to do what i thought you would do.

does this ever get easier?

you don't think a lot of me.

i think the world of you. that's the problem.

no one's ever done anything for me before.

it shouldn't end this way. sometimes, it just does.

you were always the one to watch.

i didn't know you were here. i would've reached out.

you want me to forgive you so you can feel better.

you did something wrong, but it shouldn't be fatal.

are you really just gonna be a mom?

that's who you are. you stand up for people.

you have more than made up for any harm you've done.

you are good. you just have to be brave enough to prove it.

if you don't face your past, you will never be free from it.

i didn't used to be like this, you know?

someday, when you're ready, you'll let people in.

i read once, 'be who you needed'.

i think good character is about trying.

you run your life, for better or worse.

thank you. no one's ever been this nice to me before.

i got you a present. to celebrate your success. you need to do that more.

you gave me the courage to be the person i always should have been. thank you for that.

i never thought i could have that. i didn't think i was worthy.

you are so strong. so good. so patient, and so kind.

somehow, you make me calm.

i want it to be you and me. for good. forever.

no one fights harder or loves deeper than you.

you protect your people. i love being one of your people.

i never actually believed i was anything special, but you made me feel like i was. like i am.

your brow furrowed. you can't fool me.

[oddsfavorcd]

“i love you too,” he says, quietly. he wishes, desperately, that it was different. he knows that it's no good — the names have already been drawn, the reaping already happened, the games going ahead with the speed of a train the way they always do.

he's selfishly glad that it's him, and not gordon — selfishly glad that he won't have to be around for whatever life looks like if johanna doesn't make it out of the arena. because he would do anything for either of them. his girls. his little sisters. he's never called them that aloud — they'd both probably have rolled their eyes if he had, and besides, blight has never been the kind of man to say what he feels with words.

no, he shows his love in other ways — by making sure that both of them have a freshly brewed cup of coffee every morning they spend in the capitol, by making sure he keeps them as safe as he can, by pretending to make too much to eat for dinner and inviting them over to eat.

“trust me,” he says, quietly, intensely. “trust me. if i could stop it, i would.”

[mcmorare]

This doesn't feel real. It isn't going to feel real, even after the interviews, even after they say goodbye, it won't feel real if the cannon goes off. It can't be real. It is. It can't be.

She's never lived in a victors' village that didn't have him in it. She's never been a victor without him there. Never been in a Capitol he would never go to again. The whole world would shift with his absence. It's already shifting just with the thought of it.

The train keeps speeding forward. Unstoppable. Salvius and Gordon keep talking in the other room. It's all unnoticed, all background noise. Irrelevant.

"I know." Her voice is hardly stronger than a whisper; all she can muster. Everything fogged over by shock. The only thing she wants to focus on is his arms around her, solid and steady and alive - easier wished than done. Hands tremble against his back, pressed hard as they can against the fabric of his shirt.

"I'll fucking kill them." She won't. She can't. She would if she could.

[helsex]

Guilt complex? I find it quite simple actually

[mcmorare]

HELLO hello everyone i am so sorry i have been so absent december ended up being so so busy (in very good ways luckily)!! i have missed you all and hope you all had lovely holidays and got to spend some relaxing time with loved ones!! happy new year to you all ilu <3

[notmorbid]

housemates.

dialogue prompts from housemates: a novel by emma copley eisenberg.

i feel like a stuffed animal that's lost its stuffing.

let's give them something to look at.

you're much too complicated to be boxed in.

how do you identify?

where will you run?

no. won't. shan't.

i wish there was somewhere to put it all. make it all make sense.

who would've thought you had it in you?

you are more effective than any alarm clock.

i don't usually look like this.

what is your type, exactly?

the right moment kept not presenting itself.

you're a snob, but you're also not wrong.

let's go get you some air.

i'm not crying. it's just my eyes. they sting.

i'm not sure i'm good at romantic relationships.

i always thought i'd be on my own forever. maybe i was right.

i heard you crying through the wall. is everything okay?

'platonic' doesn't mean 'chaste'.

no one's ever taken my picture before.

it's not people i like to see, as much as the land.

i don't blame you. no one blames you.

why do you cry in the night? in your bedroom, at home?

i pretend to believe in things i don't believe in.

just because _____ gave it to you doesn't mean you have to take it.

there are murder shows on every channel.

read me one?

maybe i should have been angry, or should be now.

why does there need to be a new word for every little thing?

if you met my _____, you would understand.

have you ever had an abortion?

i say kind of fucked up things sometimes.

do you love _____?

doesn't everyone want to be happy?

sometimes i start reading the news and i lose hours. a whole day.

it never hurts to ask.

favorite pleasure?

braiding other people's hair: now that's nice.

that ____ is checking you out.

i know you and _____ hooked up.

you'll be comfortable here. no one will bother you.

no one gets all this more than you do.

with you, it's not so hard. i have enough room.

well, i guess we're married now.

i'm too old for this feeling.

i'm all wrong.

it wasn't only you who lost ____.

why do today what you could put off until tomorrow?

you're not going to let this go, are you?

i don't like being told what to do.

you decide certain things about yourself, and then it's hard to change them.

things are about to change again, i think.

i'd end it with _____, if you wanted me to.

i'm not even human to ____. i'm not even a person.

there's only room for one main character in any story.

i don't want to go home yet. i can't.

maybe there's another way to be together. there's got to be.

i miss you. what are you doing?

i just want to know that you'll be okay.

can i call someone for you? can i take you somewhere?

it's ordinary people who do what needs to be done.

it must be so exhausting to make fun of what everyone believes in.

i just came to see if you were alright.

i don't blame you for wanting what you never had.

i've lived longer than i ever planned to.

time just passes. things just change.

i don't know what to do with my hands.

i feel almost young again.

[oddsfavorcd]

@mcmorare sent: “you don't have to go.”

cedra smiles softly. “i've made up my mind,” she says, firmly. “i'm not letting you or johanna go back into the arena. i've had plenty of time out of the arena. it might as well be me.” johanna and katrina are young. they deserve to have more than a few years out of the arena. they deserve to have a life.

“besides,” she adds. “i think most of the capitol has forgotten about me. i might as well remind them i exist. go out with a bang, as it were.”

[mcmorare]

She feels fucking guilty for hoping for an outcome like this. Wanting someone else to suffer instead of her. Having preferences for who should go to the slaughter. It feels wrong and cruel and fucking gross. She can hardly look Cedra in the eye.

"You don't..." It's hard to know what to say. You don't have to. You shouldn't have to. You've still got time left too. If they've forgotten about you, you can finally try to live. You have people who love you. Everyone loves you.

Brows furrowed, hands fidgeting, she sits with her eyes on the floor. "I'm sorry."

[notmorbid]

natural beauty.

dialogue prompts from natural beauty: a novel by ling ling huang.

i feel grimy, sitting across from you.

man's greatest invention: the potato with salt.

wait a minute, i know you.

you look very familiar. have we met.

stop by any time. ask for me.

it's alright. you're okay.

all i wanted was to make _____ proud.

i don't want you to go.

it's sunday. i just wanna lounge.

no need to be embarrassed.

is there anything more comforting than knowing what to fear?

you're so much stronger than i am.

let's take a few deep breaths together, okay?

i happen to love long stories. are you busy tomorrow night?

good or bad, we all want to be absolved of our choices.

no one's ever cooked for me.

i'm not judging. honest.

i just need space sometimes.

i think you try to be a little repellent.

i've never had to worry about too many people liking me.

do you want more wine? we should have more wine.

i was just about to make some tea. why don't you come in and warm up?

something's different. wrong.

i just want to look at you.

it looks worse than it feels.

if only _____ could see us now.

why do you always assume the worst?

you've never been clubbing?

it all feels like it happened to a different person.

you're usually so uptight.

you're so mean when you're _____.

we rarely see hope in this place.

you are remarkably unselfish.

it feels like a lifetime ago, doesn't it?

stop taking everything.

i love you, you know.

please don't leave me.

i love you, too, you know.

should we tell someone about this?

who would believe us? and what would we even say?

i still don't really know how to explain it.

i feel like i can't remember as much as i should.

you're a hero.

try to get some rest.

monsters are real. they just don't look anything like you would expect.

you sure about this?

it hurts to see you like this.

come closer. there's no need to be afraid of me.

when it was all happening, i didn't feel like i had a choice.

you'll come back and visit me?

it's just you and me now.

if i can't look like my parents, i don't want to look like anyone.

[mcmorare]

HELLO hello everyone i am so sorry i have been so absent december ended up being so so busy (in very good ways luckily)!! i have missed you all and hope you all had lovely holidays and got to spend some relaxing time with loved ones!! happy new year to you all ilu <3

[mcmorare]

HELLO hello i am so sorry i have been so mia the past 48 hours or so have been unexpectedly stressful and busy and anxiety inducing and this week is busy and i realized i completely forgot to tell u all i’m going out of town from the 17-22 SO with all this in mind i’m going to say that my activity is probably going to be very low for the next 2-3 weeks. i love u all and am so excited to write with u things are just so crazy but i hope u are all doing well and i am waving from afar!!

[oddsfavorcdarch]

@mcmorare sent: “you seem like you have it all figured out.”

“it's not actually that hard,” wiress says. “the odds are pretty similar, year to year. unless there's an outlier. but being an outlier can be bad, because then everyone else wants to kill you. which can be very bad for that tribute. and is, at least sixty percent of the time. wait - ” her brain is moving faster than her mouth again. she can tell from the other woman's expression that she's almost certainly not interested in what wiress has to say about the odds.

katrina brandle. victor of the 72nd hunger games. odds had been okay in the beginning — an older tribute from seven, they usually do okay unless they make the mistake of the bloodbath. and a volunteer at that. they usually get more attention from districts like seven.

“wiress,” she says, by way of changing the topic. “from three.”

[mcmorare]

Going into this, Katrina had known it was going to be hard for her to know how to talk to the victors from Three. Wiress'... interest in the games certainly doesn't help, but even that aside, they're just... smart. In a way Katrina has always been very aware that she has never been. Common interests don't exactly seem to be plentiful.

It's also kinda hard to set aside her obsession with the games when she's actively talking about it. Making it into a numbers game. It feels wrong, gross, to know that people were thinking about her that way while she was in there. Thankfully, that's not where the conversation stays.

"Katrina. Seven. But you knew that." Should she shake her hand? Wiress hasn't offered, so Katrina assumes she's not the handshake type, decides to simply stand there. "You do a lot of math, huh?"

[mcmorare]

I ALMOST MISSED IT katrina says happy krampusnacht everyone