the carousel never stops turning

head of general surgery, mother, wife.

[doctorshep-hunt]

Amelia let out a sigh and rather dramatically focused her attention on Meredith, waiting to hear what she had to say. Though, the woman’s words weren’t much of a surprise to her. Amelia knew from the moment they formed the plan together that this was bound to happen. She hugged her tablet close to her chest, tapping her fingernails against the back of it anxiously. “Because.” The word came out a bit more stern that she’d intended. “Do you know what would happen if we told him? How he’d react? What he’d do?” Amelia took a deep breath between her words. “’Cause I don’t. I have absolutely no idea what he’d do, and that’s what scares the hell out of me with this whole thing.” She stopped tapping her fingernails on the tablet for a moment before speaking once more. “It’s too late now.”

[mdmeredithgrey-blog]

“I do know– I do know what he would do. He would keep his mouth shut because he loves you and he loves me and he doesn’t want us to get... in... Get in...” Meredith felt her impassioned advocation lose its steam, a lump forming in her throat as she realized she couldn’t believe all of the words that she balled up and threw at Amelia. “It’s too late now...” she repeated to herself, her voice quiet when she looked down at her shoes. “I want to believe he wouldn’t do anything,” Meredith steadied, her voice rather emotionless. She lifted her head again, feeling her chest stir with betrayal. Never had she anticipating doubting her husband, but she looked at Amelia and the grandiose secrets they’d concocted stacked heavy upon her shoulders. “But,” she said defeatedly. “I don’t know.” 

[haylvighshep-deactivated2016092]

“Mere, I think it’s cute leave it alone I just wouldn’t show it off around your kids. ” Hayleigh said to her as she grinned and watched her try to fix her hair.

Originally posted by aflawedfashion

[mdmeredithgrey-blog]

Meredith laughed when she faced Hayleigh, her hand still messing with her brown hair. “And why not? My kids all had their Hello KItty Bandaid days.” 

[sofiaxrst-blog]

Sofia looked up at Meredith, grinning and holding back her laughter as she looked at the band aid. “Don’t you think plain band aids are a little more practical than bangs?”

[mdmeredithgrey-blog]

“I’m not sure.” Meredith laughed too when she faced Sofia. “With my schedule, it might be faster to just slip into the supply closet with a pair of Lister Scissors and chop off some of my hair than go to the drugstore.”  

[pedictrics]

“What? No cool Superman ones?” Bailey chuckled at the sight of his mother. “Now you’re going to know what I felt like going to school with one of those on. The guys got a kick out of seeing me walk in with one of those.”

[mdmeredithgrey-blog]

“Nope, no Superman,” Meredith answered him, the shaking of her head contradicting her wide smile. “You rocked the Hello Kitty Bandaids just like your sisters. Pink looks so nice on you. I don’t know what the guys found so funny.” 

[evangeske-blog]

Alex shook his head at himself for not sensing her action sooner. After years of this, one would imagine he would have seen that coming. Feeling her hands impel a force on him, Alex pondered exaggerating the strength of the push, but decided against falling off his chair — next time. “Props to me for dealing with that.” He high-fived himself, a childish thing he would only do in front of a select few people; Meredith being one of them. An exaggerated eye roll was his response to her remark. “Write it on my gravestone. ‘Here lies a prick liked by Meredith Grey.’ Word by word, exactly like that. I’ll be watching you from the other side.” He pointed a finger at her as if it would enforce his words. Alex grinned, feeling accomplished at her promised silence.  

[mdmeredithgrey-blog]

Meredith’s nose crinkled when she laughed, watching her best friend high-five himself. “You know, if you had just asked,” she began, somberly, lifting a hand to her cheek, pretending to be offended. “I would’ve high-fived you myself, so you wouldn’t have to do it yourself, but now it’s too late.” Meredith cringed at her terrible joke, leaning her head back against the window. She head was still level enough that she caught Alex’s dramatic eye roll. She returned it by sticking out her tongue before she raised her eyes to the ceiling and lazily draped her arm across her stomach. “Exactly like that. You got it.” Meredith raised her own finger in response, chuckling, as if to promise to fulfill his insane demand. “You’re just gonna watch? You’re not even going to haunt me?” she asked him, mocking disappointment when she brought her eyes back to his. 

[thegavinlyons]

“I guess that means you have to clean around the house and go shopping.”

[mdmeredithgrey-blog]

“That’s a shame because neither of those are really my thing,” Meredith told Henry, wearing a friendly curve of her lips. “I’ll put my kids to work, have them clean and shop.” 

[lexieslcan-blog]

     Brow furrow as she watches her sister fiddle with hair, ❛❛ Are you sure we’re siblings? Can I get a DNA test? ❜❜ It takes mention of bangs before Lexie is forced to bite her inner cheek to keep from laughing. ❛❛ No! You do not get to steal bangs. Bangs were my thing, I looked good with bangs. ❜❜ Occasionally Lexie wondered why she gave up the hairstyle of choice, but then memories of that haircuts era would return, and she was reminded of her reasoning. ❛❛ You might be better just baring the wound Mere. I’d trust a surgeon with a wound over a surgeon with a Japanese cat on their forehead. ❜❜

[mdmeredithgrey-blog]

Meredith scowled, her hazel hues shifting to display to Lexie her heartfelt annoyance. “Are you saying I couldn’t pull off bangs?” she demanded of her sister, turning her head finally to face Lexie’s almost smiling face. “Need I remind you of the dedicated years of bang-bearing that I underwent. I think I looked pretty great.” It was Meredith’s turn to lose the battle against laughter, a chuckle curving her lips and softening her eyes. “You make a fair point,” she conceded, raising her hands again anyways to keep fiddling with her hair. “Hello Kitty’s Japanese?” Meredith asked after a moment, her voice mumbly when she focused on her vanity project. 

[patrickgdempsey]

Derek lay there, listening. Why wasn’t she looking at him? “What….whats wrong?” He asked her. “Did something…happen?” He look at her with a concerned look on his face. Derek closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again and looking at his wife.

[mdmeredithgrey-blog]

“Nothing happened,” Meredith answered quickly, but cooly. She forced her eyes to meet his when she brought her other hand to his arm, remembering all that was best for him, all that she and Amelia had agreed upon. “I’m just glad you’re awake,” she told him truthfully, her expression soft, affectionate. “So glad.” 

[samueldwightevans]

“I think it’s a good look for you.” Calvin said with a chuckle and a shrug of his shoulders. “I’m just wondering how long those specific bandaids have been sitting in your cupboard.”

[mdmeredithgrey-blog]

“Why thank you,” Meredith returned, tilting her head to the side when she faced Calvin. “I could give you one next time you cut yourself if you’d like.” She wore a smirk and a raised eyebrow when she sighed soundlessly. “Long enough that when I took them out of the cabinet, I could blow on them like in those old detective movies and dust flew into the air.” 

[alittlefaith]

“You could just not cover it up?” She suggested, with a small smile. “Just walk about the place like yeah, I’m awesome enough to pull this off. Maybe everyone else will just be jealous they have a boring old normal band-aid.” 

[mdmeredithgrey-blog]

Meredith couldn’t stifle her chuckle when she Brook spoke. “You might be on to something,” she admitted, looking in the mirror one more time. “You really think I’m pulling this off?” Meredith played along, turning her brightly bound forehead back to Brook. 

[mallory-the-ave-deactivated2017]

Mallory smiled at the doctor and gave a small laugh. “Don’t worry. I won’t judge you for having a hello kitty band-aid. It’s more fun than the normal one’s. Those are boring.” She told Meredith. “What’d you do?”

[mdmeredithgrey-blog]

Meredith smiled widely to Mallory, dropping her hands to stop fiddling with her hopeless hair. “Well, thank you. I agree with you. I hope my patients today will too. Do you think I look professional?” she asked, her smile still holding when she faced Mallory again. “I hit my head on my car door when I got home last night,” she relayed her story begrudgingly, wishing she had concocted something more riveting. “My ego was certainly more bruised than my forehead.”

[mdmeredithgrey-blog]

@georgia-hunt

Once her pink Sketchers reached Georgia’s door, Meredith raised her hand and knocked lightly before she entered. “Hey,” she greeted her warmly, Meredith’s carefully crafted smile seamlessly keeping her broken heart a secret. (Not much in the world made her ache more than seeing her sixteen year old niece hurting that way.)  “I brought you something,” Meredith told her, biting softly on her bottom lip, her present-bearing hand concealed behind her back. She brought it forward to show Georgia the package of sharpened, Faber Castell watercolor pencils. “You know I don’t know anything about art, but I asked the guy at the store and he said these are the best,” Meredith perked softly, her bangs swaying to cover more of her forehead. She consciously placed the present on Georgia’s bed instead of handing it to her, diligent to assure that nothing made Georgia feel anxious. “I was hoping you’d teach me how to sketch something. I can’t draw to save a life.” Her eyes ran the length of the cotton blanket before she corrected herself. “Well, maybe a kidney. I used to doodle kidneys in med school.” She placed a hand on the back of the chair near Georgia’s bed as if to ask permission before she slid into it, sitting criss-cross with some distance between the two of them. 

[mdmeredithgrey-blog]

“I found a dusty box of Hello Kitty bandaids from when my kids were little. How I’m a doctor and didn’t have anything else in my medicine cabinet is a little concerning,” Meredith decided, looking over at her company and frowning when she realized Hello Kitty’s pinkness still showed through her light brown hair. “I knew I should’ve gotten bangs.”

[patrickgdempsey]

Derek kept his eyes on her. He knew he would be sore for a while. Derek looked at his wife. “No.” He said. “Just….me and…you.” He told her. “Plus…it should be my….surgeon…not Amelia.”

[mdmeredithgrey-blog]

“Okay,” Meredith agreed quietly, her hand softly stroking his arm again. “Oh, right,” she began, her gaze on her hand instead of his eyes. “Well, Amelia told me that your surgeon had to fly back out, so she will be the neuro who checks up on you,” Meredith lied, remembering the meticulous plan Amelia had laid out for them.

[doctorshep-hunt]

“No,” Amelia shook her head, looking down at her tablet for a few seconds. “I’m just… exceptionally annoyed by everything lately.” She huffed. Which may have been due to the fact that she was a bit on the hungover side more often than not lately, but that wasn’t any big deal, right? Wrong, bitch. “And I mean, interns are interns, they’re always exceptionally annoying.” She shrugged her shoulders before furrowing her brows at Meredith. “You are too making a face. You make that face all of the time, and then usually some considerably unhappy, good mood-killing thing comes out of your mouth.” Amelia said with a soft giggle. 

[mdmeredithgrey-blog]

Meredith rolled her eyes in agreement, relating to the idea that everything recently seemed to inch her closer to a demise off the deep end. She eyed her sister-in-law with concern that wove its way through her chest, but she stubbornly refrained from letting it show on her features. “True,” Meredith confirmed, lazily lifting her eyebrows over her blue hues. “I don’t make this face all the time,” Meredith combatted again, knowing she was wrong and Amelia was right. She frowned when Amelia giggled, feeling a considerably unhappy, good mood-killing thing ram against her sealed lips. “Oh, well, then I do have a pessimistic-Mer thing to say,” she admitted, sighing quietly when her expression carried a meaningful apology. “I’m very bad at lying to Derek. I haven’t told him anything, but I’m… When he mentions you or his surgeon, I… I’m just… We can’t tell him?” She knew of course that they couldn’t, but her logic didn’t stop her question. Meredith grimaced for just a moment when she listened to her weakness. She’d had it easy throughout this experience. She wasn’t Amelia. She wasn’t Derek. But she was Meredith and her dark and twisty insides wracked with guilt.

[evangeske-blog]

Alex smiled at her child-like position before leaning over to lightly slap her foot, maintaining the playful atmosphere. “The last thing I would do is doubt you.” He raised a hand to place against his chest, over his heart, to display his version of understanding — Alex did so mockingly, of course. “That’s not necessarily a bad thing. No one likes a prick.” He shrugged in response, a grin steadily remaining on his lips. “I mean, she’s cool, or whatever, but don’t tell her I said that.” Alex sent his friend a threatening glare in case she thought of doing otherwise.

[mdmeredithgrey-blog]

Meredith met Alex’s hand with her own, slapping his hand when he slapped her foot. She chuckled at their immaturity, feeling the way their dumb game was enough to improve her mood immensely. She leaned over to shove Alex in his swivel chair when he mocked her. “That’s right. I doubt myself enough for the both of us,” Meredith self-deprecated, wearing an amused smirk when she unfolded her legs to swing them under the desk. “But I like you,” she insulted him, teasingly, bringing a hand to her wide smile. “Alright, I won’t tell her,” Meredith exhaled, complying under his playfully threatening glare.

[patrickgdempsey]

Derek squeezed her hand a bit as she held it. It wasn’t that hard a squeeze but it was better than it had been before the surgery. Derek smiled a little as she kissed his cheek. Hearing her ask how he was feeling, the smile disappeared a bit. “Ouch.” He said, which was him saying he was sore. He knew how speech could be affected for a little while.

[mdmeredithgrey-blog]

Meredith returned Derek’s squeeze with her own, just as soft as his had been. She nodded solemnly at his answer, knowing what he wanted to say and hearing how he had been restricted to say what he actually did. Meredith knew too, though, how speech alterations were almost always temporary, but she wanted to take Derek’s soreness away nonetheless. “I’ll page Amelia,” she announced thoughtlessly, focused on him.