Stuff I Don’t Share Elsewhere

Insert motivational blog tagline here.

[mdubmachine]

How, Why?

How am I supposed to heal from the past

when the future just brings me more hurt?

How am I supposed to move on

when there’s nowhere for me to go?

What’s the point of figuring out who I am

if there’s no one to be myself around?

What was once independence is now loneliness.

I’ll sit for hours without uttering a single sound.

What was once fresh air is now suffocating.

I feel claustrophobic in wide open rooms.

What was once freedom is now a constraint.

Feels less like a home and more like a tomb.

[mdubmachine]

Is the Ambulance for You?

Driving home

Phone has been silent all day

I left you all alone

Knowing things were left unsaid

Blinding lights

Of red and white go racing by

The sirens blare

My heart pounds

My stomach drops

My head sweats

My knees lock

I feel every fear at once

Did it happen right after I left home?

Did it happen right after I left work?

Should I have stayed with you five minutes longer?

Should I have returned five minutes sooner?

Was today the day?

The day when everything collapsed within you?

Did you finally raise the white flag?

Did you “set yourself free”?

Did it happen while I was on my break?

When I laughed at a coworkers mistake?

Is your body even warm still?

Do I even want to see what’s left?

I park

I run to the door and frantically open it

And I see you there

Laughing and relaxing with friends

Still alive, at least one more day

[mdubmachine]

“All you do is take and take and take

and then you ask why I’ve nothing left to give

It’s like you’re drowning, and though I jumped in to save you,

you hate me because now I’m drowning too”

[mdubmachine]

Train to Nowhere

I feel like I’m running late for the train to nowhere

that i’m aboard a sinking ship on an endless sea

in a rocket ship traveling at light speed

with no actual destination in reach

[mdubmachine]

How Do You Tell?

How do you tell someone who hurts that they’re hurting you?

How do you tell someone who suffers they’re making you suffer too?

How do you tell someone drowning that they’re drowning you too?

How do you tell someone that you love that you hate them too?

[mdubmachine]

The Songs I’ll Never Hear

Here’s to all the songs I’ll never hear

The films I’ll never see

The shows I’ll never watch

The games I’ll never play

Here’s to the people I’ll never know

The words I’ll never say

The places I’ll never visit

The people I’ll never be

Here’s to all the drinks I’ll never drink

The food I’ll never eat

The scents I’ll never smell

The emotions I’ll never feel

Here’s to the memories I won’t keep

The decisions I was wrong to make

The lessons I’ll never learn

The goals I’ll never reach

Here’s to all the songs I’ll never sing

The films I’ll never write

The thoughts I’ll never think

And all the experiences I’ll never have

[mdubmachine]

God doesn’t need to exist for people to be of worth or valued for who they are. Nor does he need to exist for people to have a “purpose.”

[mdubmachine]

Let me preface this by saying I just watched the movie “God Bless America.” Do we really live in a world where the high moments in our lives are based on meeting celebrities, watching our favorite singer win American Idol, the X-Factor, or whatever contest you choose? Where our entertainment is overwhelmingly based on the lives of others rather than our own? Where we are so lazy we can’t take two seconds out of our way to help another human being? Where we don’t know what to do if we don’t have a cell phone in our hands (and I know I’m guilty of that)? Where our conversations are about the latest trend, the hottest celebrity, the most popular music “artist” (I use artist very loosely)? Where instead of going out and making our mark on the world and making our own accomplishments, we merely dwell on the accomplishments of others?

Are pre-teens and teens so shallow and sheepish that they really want to grow up to be like the Kardashians, or to become a pop star? To be involved in a fickle system where your only treated well as long as you sell, and then cast aside when your no longer “cute” enough or “hot” enough or “hip” enough? To become a product of the system, becoming merely a processed face of songs you don’t write and music that is made to be shallow and simple? Are teens so shallow that whatever the record companies tell them the next “big thing” is, they follow? They are caught in a system that says “be yourself,” but is really saying “be like us,” or “follow the trend,” or “listen to our music to be popular.” “Look at us and want to be us.”

I don’t want to live in a world where our lives are overwhelmingly fulfilled vicariously by who we see in media, but rather through what we ourselves do. I want to go out and fulfill my own goals, my own accomplishments, my own dreams, my own memories. I want to have my own stories to tell, my own problems to discuss, my own life to look back on. Nor do I want to be looked back upon as a fad or an icon, but rather as a person. A person who looked beyond conventional thinking and paved his own way in life. A person who ignored stereotypes, defied expectations, and left a permanent mark on the world. A person who challenged the status quo. Ultimately, I want to see the human race return to individuality. Too many are caught up trying to follow a certain fad, look a certain way, act a certain way, without thinking for themselves. I want people to stop negatively caring about what others think; to defy expectations and conventional methods. To stand out, to truly be oneself. To be someone who lived their own life, and not someone else’s.

[mdubmachine]

“You can do it your own way (if it’s done just how I say).” - Eye of the Beholder by Metallica

[mdubmachine]

God doesn’t need to exist for people to be of worth or valued for who they are. Nor does he need to exist for people to have a “purpose.”

[bryankonietzko]

Korrasami is canon. You can celebrate it, embrace it, accept it, get over it, or whatever you feel the need to do, but there is no denying it. That is the official story. We received some wonderful press in the wake of the series finale at the end of last week, and just about every piece I read…

[mdubmachine]

This is cool, and not for “hot lesbian couple” reasons. 

[mdubmachine]

Well, maybe a tiny bit. I’m human; sue me. 

[ewaneneollav]

somebody once trolled me, successfully rickroll’d me

[inc4rn4t]

im not the sharpest n00b in the thread…

[petitescarlette]

I was typing kind of dumb WITH THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON ON.

[crearuru]

i bet u thought this post was finally dead

[adrithegreat]

well the memes start coming, and they dont stop coming

[mdubmachine]

Scrollin' through the forums with my mouse wheel running

[jumex]

I love when I wake up with new rights

[lowerclass-uppercase]

Now i can get married in every state: solid, liquid, gas, and, most surprisingly, texas

[mdubmachine]

WIN

[standbackwasted]

selfies are so cool my kids are gonna be so into it like wouldn’t you kill for a selfie of your mom or your dad like a day when your mom felt pretty or a picture of her with her best friend like mostly the only pics we have of our parents are posed school photos or blurry film pictures of them as kids but how many actual pictures do you have of your mom? your grandparents? like the next generation of kids are gonna have pictures of their parents in every single stage of their life like my kids are gonna know what I looked like on march 8, 2015 theyre gonna know what i wore on Christmas when I was 19 and theyre gonna see a picture taken on their birthday 20 years before they were born and think it’s the coolest version of timehop there’s ever gonna be. they’re gonna notice the same striped shirt in all my selfies and be like wow mom you liked that shirt. like? how is that not the most remarkable thing you’ve ever heard

[mdubmachine]

I've also thought about this.

[mdubmachine]

In Light of the Thunderstorm...

I naturally went outside and recorded some thunderclaps for my sound effects library.

[mdubmachine]

Time, Death, and Other Philosophical "Stuff"

*I wrote this a few months ago but apparently didn't post it* I hate, and am admittedly scared of, the fact that one day I and everyone I know will one day no longer exist. That every psychological, sociological, conceptual, and relational part of my life will be, in my "mind," will be as though it never happened. That there will be a day after I die where (on top of the fact I'm dead) my brain will deteriorate and everything that made me "me" will be gone. I will never have known I existed. I will never know how much I loved my wife and family (future me, I'm not married as of yet, though I'm dating a very good candidate ;). I won't even know I wrote this. 

I want to believe there's an afterlife of sorts, but "logically" speaking there's no reason to believe so. I like to think there's something beyond this life that I won't necessarily anticipate, but I know that until I die, that's only wishful thinking. One of the shittiest parts about becoming an atheist is coming to terms with the fact that life is basically outside my control. I'm not an atheist for the fun of it, and some days it would be super easy to go back to being a Christian for that sense of comfort and promise of life after death. But I would rather face life for what it is then lie to myself about my own beliefs.  

Time is often a difficult subject to comprehend. I can understand how I have no perception of the time before I was born; I didn't yet exist. When I was born, it was as if every event and every person that happened/existed had happened in an instant. If that doesn't make sense, imagine someone born 150 years from now. Relative to their memory and perception of time, we will already have lived our lives and more than likely passed away (unless science manages to change that). I'm still here, typing on this keyboard, in 2015. But to anyone born in 2165, this and the rest of my life has already happened, and I'm deteriorating in my grave, never knowing I existed. 

To stem off that, while I understand the sense of time from "not-existing>existing," I'm both curious and scared of the "existing>not-existing" part. What does death "feel" like? I understand that, "logically," death doesn't feel like anything. But what does that lack of feeling "feel" like. I could go on and on, but I've made my point. 

These are the things I think about late and night.

And when I'm delivering pizza.  

[btothetuck]

“MUSIC ASKS 

1: A song you like with a color in the title “Red Eyes” by Switchfoot 

2: A song you like with a number in the title ”The Green Manalishi with the Two Pronged Crown” by Judas Priest (covering Fleetwood Mac)(could have been answer for #1 & 15 as well)

3: A song that reminds you of summertime  “The Setting Sun” by Switchfoot

4: A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about  “Blind” by Lifehouse

5: A song that needs to be played LOUD  “Painkiller” by Judas Priest

6: A song that makes you want to dance “Come and Get Your Love” by Redbone

 7: A song to drive to “All Star” by Smash Mouth

8: A song about drugs or alcohol “Master of Puppets” by Metallica

 9: A song that makes you happy  “Short Skirt/Long Jacket” by Cake (ringtone for girlfriend)

10: A song that makes you sad ”Yesterdays” by Switchfoot  11: A song that you never get tired of “Battle Hymn/One Shot at Glory” by Judas Priest

 12: A song from your preteen years ”Duel of the Fates” by John Williams

 13: One of your favorite 80’s songs ”I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles” by the Proclaimers

 14: A song that you would love played at your wedding ”We are One Tonight” by Switchfoot  15: A song that is a cover by another artist “Tougher Than the Rest” by Everything But The Girl (originally by Bruce Springsteen) 

 16: One of your favorite classical songs “The Four Seasons | Summer” by Vivaldi

 17: A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke ”Downtown Train” by Everything But The Girl (originally by Tom Waits) 18: A song from the year that you were born “Smash” by The Offspring (1994)

 19: A song that makes you think about life “Vice Verses” by Switchfoot

20: A song that has many meanings to you ”Always” by Switchfoot  21: A favorite song with a person’s name in the title ”The Sound (John M. Perkins’ Blues) by Switchfoot  22: A song that moves you forward ”Awakening” by Switchfoot  23: A song that you think everybody should listen to ”Golden” by Switchfoot   24: A song by a band you wish were still together ”The Night” by Disturbed  25: A song by an artist no longer living “Rainbow in the Dark” by Dio

26: A song that makes you want to fall in love “Closer” by Dido 

 27: A song that breaks your heart ”Vice Verses” by Switchfoot (yes I've listed it twice now)  28: A song by an artist with a voice that you love ”Time After Time” by Everything But The Girl (originally by Cyndi Lauper)  29: A song that you remember from your childhood “All Star” by Smash Mouth (yes I’m cheating)  30: A song that reminds you of yourself ”Vice Verses” by Switchfoot (yes, I’m cheating again; this song means a lot to me)  Seriously do this … or I will just do it myself…”

— (via hugmoi)

[inothernews]

So when gays want equality, it’s ‘militancy.’ And when Christians want to deny service (to the LGBTQ community), it’s ‘freedom.’

JON STEWART, reacting to Mike Huckabee saying that “gay militants” forced Indiana to rewrite its discriminatory “religious freedom” laws, on The Daily Show (via inothernews)